Skip to comments.Fear Of Elderly Vatican Priests, Nuns Violently Storming U.S. Embassy Reason For Relocation...
Posted on 12/02/2013 3:47:37 AM PST by markomalley
A security guard outside the U.S. Embassy to the Vatican checks for dangerous religious medals.
ROME (EotT) The recent decision to close the current free-standing U.S. Embassy to the Holy See was made because of growing fears of a Benghazi-like terrorost attack led by 60 to 90-year-old zealot priests and nuns stationed in the Vatican, the U.S. State Department confirmed today.
The decision has led to sharp criticism by Vatican officials who say that the U.S. has not clearly specified any plot to overtake the embassy. But U.S. intelligence officials say they have been tracking a growing threat against American and Western targets from Vaticans affiliate organizations and religious orders for the last several weeks.
There has been additional intelligence about a potential attack on the embassy to the Holy See by several leaders of religious orders near and within the Vatican, leading to the Obama administrations decision to shut down the embassy, and to warn publicly of the threat, U.S. officials tell EOTT.
Based on the intelligence, officials say, there is particular concern about the U.S. Embassy at this time. Today marks the beginning of Advent, and officials say they are concerned about attacks in the days to come.
The official went on to tell reporters that a higher-than-normal threat stream coming from telephone intercepts have revealed that at least two religious orders have made clear their intentions on walking to the embassy very, very slowly, and after a little break to catch their breaths, to potentially pelt the embassy with Miraculous Medals.
We need to take every precaution that we can, one official said. Some zealots are very, very angry about the Obamacare mandate requiring that insurance provide free coverage for contraception and sterilization services and drugs they consider abortion-inducing. We believe they may be planning to attack with other religious medals as well, and to violently say rosaries in front of the embassy to perhaps try and convert the hearts and minds of U.S. officials. We must take every precaution that such a thing does not happen.
You've been warned.
You can tell the really dangerous ones by their scapulars.
Suicide Nuns? No...nuns with pointers and yardsticks ready to give me noogies and crack my knuckles...that is my nightmare.
What difference does it make now?
It’s that pointy hat the Pope wears....looks sharp and dangerous to me....he could gore somebody!
You leave Gore out of this!
Please put “humor” or “satire” in headline. I highly resent having my time wasted by a juvenile FReeper who rings the digital doorbell and then runs away. Cheap. Shallow. Childish.
Fear the Dominicans. “The Hounds of God.”
No! Not the comfy chair! !
Your digital doorbell won’t save you now, Old Woman!
(Pardon me while I go mix some more metaphors.)
Yeah, but some of those old nuns can be really tough.....
I always knew those sisters had some bad habits...
They seemed perpetually cross with me.
Please put humor or satire in headline.
The blurb didn’t tip you off? Yipes!
Now, now, we’ll have nun of that!
Watch yer step or you’ll get yer knuckles ctacked by Sister Mary Immaculata of the Holy Tree of Jerusalem and Sister May Moses of the Burning Bush All Lit Up!
Oh, thank goodness this is satire.
Oh dear God...not the flying monkeys!!!
That didn't "signify" to you, when every dagnab piece of Humor and Satire, circled in red, nailed onto the Wittenburg Door of the Free Republic by our own dear markomalley, comes from "The Eye of the Tiber"??
There may be another test of your critical reading competence coming up in the near future. If I were you, I would sharpen up my skills by quickly jabbing the little arrow thingie in he upper left hand corner that says "go pack one page".
I hope this helps.
I’m not what you’d call a “doctrinaire Catholic” but I went through 16 years of parochial education.
One of the great gifts of that system, in addition to rigorous attention to discipline in the early years is the wealth of material they gifted us for humorous use in our adulthood.
The Nuns and Priests of my childhood live on as great caricatures of warmth and humor and in a few select cases the greatest intellects I have yet to come across.
They themselves would cringe at the notion that they could not be made fun of.
You must have been a naughty child.
Very much so.
I would have thought the idea of geriatric priests and religious trying to go Tehran 1979 on any embassy should have been a huge tipoff.
Hope that helps.
Well, I was a very well-behaved little girl in my Catholic school. Never got physical punishment — except at home.
So “Bigg Red” is a girl?
Hmmmmm........ Life is just full of surprises.
(Red hair? Loved the 80s?)
Yes, red hair. Nickname from the husband.
I would not have used the name if I had foreseen how often I FReepers would think I am a guy. Oh, well.... I have tried to change it, but I don’t know how to.
Just off the get-go I assumed (bad habit - I know) that I was talking to a Ruddy Viking.
Not that that’s a bad thing.
Geesh! Lighten up, Frances.