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'Twas the Night Before Smithmas! [WalterMartin.com]
WalterMartin.com ^ | Dec. 16, 2013 | Apologette

Posted on 12/21/2013 9:31:50 AM PST by Colofornian

'Twas the night before Smithmas, and all through the temple,
Not a cumelon was creeping, or a tapir, (for ex-emple!)
The garments were hung out to dry in the air,
But fortunately for us, we have two extra pairs.

The children were stashed at Gramma's homestead,
While Mom and Pop got dunked once again for the dead!
And Mom in her veil, and I in my old bakers' cap,
Had just about finished another endowment wrap!

When beyond the temple grounds I heard a big clatter
Even sprang from my seat to see about the chatter;
To the pentagram window I flew like an eagle,
Peered out to see some Christians - they were legal!

The icky tall towers cast a shadow below
But still I could see someone I did know.
For what to unbelieving eyes should appear,
But my eldest daughter and hubby, my greatest fear!

With signs held high, walking about and about
And above the din, I could even hear them shout!
Rapidly, quickly, their sentences came,
And they shouted each "profit", yes even by name!

"Now Smith, now Young, now Kimball and Monson!
Come on Woodruff, and Taylor, and every man's son!
To the top of the temple, to the top of the spire!
Each man can explain why he did conspire"!

"Joseph Lied"! They shouted as the leaves began to fly,
We've met the Tanners, and discovered the lies!
So come out and face us, bring the whole crew!
Hinckley and "Fielding," and McConkie, too!

And then in a while, I perceived on the roof!
That Moroni was laughing, banging his hoof!
And as I turned back to see my dear wife,
I saw her run and cry, "getting out with my life."

The wiggling hand dropped from the eerie veil,
And soon the whole crowd ran out, 'cept the frail!
Some hobbled along, they didn't look back,
'Til there was just me, and Satan in black!

Old Slew Foot's eyes flashed, as he called after the flee-ers
"Ha, you fools won't escape, you can't be "believers."
You see, you've covenanted Joe Smith to obey,
If you don't, why then fools, I'll rule the day!

But the stump of one sign still stood on it's pole,
And it's words could be seen, even thru the cold!
"Joseph has lied, no first vision , he's a boaster!
Moroni never existed, and Smith's an impostor!

The Christians rejoiced as the Mormons streamed out,
And I couldn't help hearing them put up a shout!
With a smile and a prayer, they welcomed the lost,
And told them the Gospel, Good News in the frost!

And they spoke God's Word, going straight to their work,
Filling hearts with hope, and healing the hurt!
They passed out Bibles, and with tears in their eyes,
Praised the God of the Universe, who vanquishes lies!

And with hope's spark in my heart, I ran out to see,
My family who cared to love, love mother and me!
And I heard them exclaim, as they prayed so intense!
"Good bye Joseph Smith, and to Satan, get thee hence"!


TOPICS: Apologetics; Humor; Other non-Christian; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: antichristian; idolworship; inman; lds; mormonism; smithmas
(Oh, how I love happy endings!)
1 posted on 12/21/2013 9:31:51 AM PST by Colofornian
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To: Colofornian

How do otherwise intelligent people believe in all that LDS poppycock!?


2 posted on 12/21/2013 9:44:16 AM PST by elcid1970 ("In the modern world, Muslims are living fossils.")
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To: Colofornian

The otherwise intelligent anti-Mormon bashers are really feeling the Christmas spirit!


3 posted on 12/21/2013 10:13:21 AM PST by skyman
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To: skyman

That’s a load of Shiz!

;^)


4 posted on 12/21/2013 11:33:22 AM PST by elcid1970 ("In the modern world, Muslims are living fossils.")
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To: Colofornian

“Joseph Lied”!

and Mormons fried
when they died...

there is only one God who is Savior

and His Name is Jesus Christ..


5 posted on 12/21/2013 11:50:34 AM PST by Tennessee Nana
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To: elcid1970

Merry Christmas!


6 posted on 12/21/2013 12:31:06 PM PST by skyman
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To: elcid1970; et al

Another with a same question:

I am going out into the desert for awhile so I won’t be around the NET. I always reflect at this time of the year that I spent 2723 freezing my nuts off in Haifa and Jerusalem in the arms of an Israeli army lieutenant. She was a Romanian Sabra. I got a taste for what Jews really felt and thought about Jesus. I visited most of the places he spent his life. For Jews I met the flesh and blood Christ was part of the anti-Roman undercurrent in Palestine in the first Christian Century. In that regard he is my enemy, but understandable. I would have crucified him the first time he opened his mouth in his 3 year preaching run. Anyone could see he was some species of Zealot and from Galilee to boot. But what horrified the Jews was that the dead Christ had been taken into the heart of the Roman Empire and manufactured into a Jupiter Supremis that telepathically watches and controls all human action and thought. An unwashed, illiterate Jewish and common rabble rouser against Rome became a monster god via the likes of Constantine. The Jews only love him as an enemy of Rome even though Rome was the best thing that ever happened to them. They hate the monster god that Rome manufactured from him, Mystery Religions, and Greek Philosophy which became Christianity that periodically slaughters them when it grows tired of trying to convince them that a Roman chimera was their hoped for messiah. I’m conflicted...I never know whether to laugh, cry, or vomit at Christmas...but I am sure the world would have been a much better place without him...in that, I am what I am, a Pagan and know the only thing Christianity brought for Pagans was the death of the Roman Empire and an Endless Dark Age. In these thoughts I am much like my Jewish friends.


7 posted on 12/21/2013 1:41:29 PM PST by S.O.S121.500 (Case back hoe for sale or trade for diesel wood chipper....Enforce the Bill of Rights. It's the Law!)
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To: Colofornian
That Moroni was laughing, banging his hoof!

I love it!

8 posted on 12/21/2013 1:50:09 PM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: skyman
The otherwise intelligent anti-Mormon bashers are really feeling the Christmas spirit!

Yeah... ya gotta watch out for them dudes that dis MORMONs!!!


"Now if any of you will deny the plurality of wives, and continue to do so, I promise that you will be damned;

and I will go still further and say, take this revelation, or any other revelation that the Lord has given,

and deny it in your feelings, and I promise that you will be damned.

Brigham Young - JoD 3:266 (July 14, 1855)

9 posted on 12/21/2013 1:51:47 PM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: skyman

I’d sure hate to be a MORMON; with that fate hanging over MY head!

The Ghost of Christmas Future must be a scary dude!


10 posted on 12/21/2013 1:52:56 PM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: S.O.S121.500
In these thoughts I am much like my Jewish friends.

I believe you've wandered in here by mistake.

The Festivus Forum is a few doors down the hall.

11 posted on 12/21/2013 1:55:02 PM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Elsie

I believe you’ve wandered in here by mistake.


I’m sorry, thought it was Christian cults devouring each other.....


12 posted on 12/21/2013 2:16:11 PM PST by S.O.S121.500 (Case back hoe for sale or trade for diesel wood chipper....Enforce the Bill of Rights. It's the Law!)
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To: S.O.S121.500

Just what is it about the Feast of the Nativity of Our Lord that brings out the antitheists with their snarling and snapping and denouncing?

IMHO you’re no pagan, since real pagans don’t reject the idea of spiritual existence, but pursue it in a different direction. Wiccans, for example.

Why don’t you join the Pastafarians and celebrate Great Flying Spaghetti Monster? At least they seem to have some fun with their antitheism.

As for me, I know that my Redeemer liveth.


13 posted on 12/21/2013 2:42:06 PM PST by elcid1970 ("In the modern world, Muslims are living fossils.")
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To: S.O.S121.500
I’m sorry, thought it was Christian cults devouring each other.....

Can I assume you are NOT a christian; of ANY stripe?

14 posted on 12/22/2013 5:03:02 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: elcid1970
Just what is it about the Feast of the Nativity of Our Lord that brings out the antitheists with their snarling and snapping and denouncing?

We'd have to ask Herod.

15 posted on 12/22/2013 5:03:37 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: skyman

Well, count me in, Bubba ....


16 posted on 12/22/2013 6:45:54 AM PST by Patton@Bastogne (Swine Piss be upon the Sodmite Obama, and his Child-Rapist False Prophet Mohammed)
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To: Elsie

bump


17 posted on 12/22/2013 11:21:27 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Elsie

Can I assume you are NOT a christian; of ANY stripe?


Deist yes, Christian no.


18 posted on 12/22/2013 12:26:05 PM PST by S.O.S121.500 (Case back hoe for sale or trade for diesel wood chipper....Enforce the Bill of Rights. It's the Law!)
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To: S.O.S121.500

Do deists have their own Holy Scriptures?


19 posted on 12/22/2013 2:28:38 PM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Elsie

Do deists have their own Holy Scriptures?


Start here. Comprehension is the watch word.
http://www.deism.com/index.html


20 posted on 12/22/2013 2:38:54 PM PST by S.O.S121.500 (Case back hoe for sale or trade for diesel wood chipper....Enforce the Bill of Rights. It's the Law!)
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To: S.O.S121.500
Deism has a lot to offer you! It also has a lot to offer society! Deism is knowledge of God based on the application of our reason on the designs/laws found throughout Nature. The designs presuppose a Designer. Deism is therefore a natural religion and is not a "revealed" religion. The natural religion/philosophy of Deism frees those who embrace it from the inconsistencies of superstition and the negativity of fear that are so strongly represented in all of the "revealed" religions such as Judaism, Christianity and Islam. (These religions are called revealed religions because they all make claim to having received a special revelation from God which they pretend, and many of their sincere followers actually believe, their various and conflicting holy books are based on.) When enough people become Deists, reason will be elevated over fear and myth and its positive qualities will become a part of society as a whole. Then, instead of having billions of people chasing after the nonsensical violence promoting myths of the "revealed" religions, people will be centered on their God-given reason which will lead to limitless personal and societal progress!

So, studying a tree and looking at a waterfall and gazing at stars 'reveals' a Designer.

That's good, because that is EXACTLY what got me to where I am today.

Ther Big Bang...

Poof!!!

All that Energy creating ALL!!! that matter.

Sure; that's how it all got going to begin with.



Worked fine for me until that little voice said, "Where did the Energy come from?"



That got me to the Designer.

It took a while until I learned His name.

21 posted on 12/22/2013 2:59:43 PM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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