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To: steve86

I don’t recommend marriage anymore.

Being married to the wrong person is miserable. American culture seems devoted to turning women into the kind of person you wouldn’t want to be married to.

I am glad for, and a bit jealous of, anyone whose experience is different.


17 posted on 12/24/2013 12:21:56 PM PST by donmeaker (The lessons of Weimar will soon be relearned.)
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To: donmeaker
I don’t recommend marriage anymore.

I have long maintained that marriage, aside from religious reasons, is a foolish choice for any American man.

19 posted on 12/24/2013 12:38:23 PM PST by papertyger ("refusing to draw an inescapable conclusion does not qualify as a 'difference of opinion.'")
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To: donmeaker
Family arranged marriages as in traditional cultures work better than love matches for longevity. For most of the young love is a rationalization for sexual craving in the male which fades, often quickly or gets transferred to other targets once the original is conquered and filed. In a traditional match love is not a a large factor. Among the Vietnamese, the case with which I am familiar, marriage ideally is a business transaction between families. Love grows gradually in a transition from understood obligation. it is propinquity- the couple getting used to each other. In reality a couple may "fall in love" and the young man will prevail on his father to make an offer to the young woman's family. Marriage begins with the new wife moving into the in-laws' home and the new wife becoming essentially a slave to MIL for a time then when MIL decides that DIL is a competent wife and home manager, usually after about a year, and MIL relaxes and begins to turn over responsibilities to DIL. This never pertained in the US because we have always been a culture centered on the individual as the basic unit of society. Most of the rest of the world has the family as the basic unit. Neolocal domicile and the minimum nuclear family also are only practical in a relatively wealthy society where a new couple is usually able to afford a new house. Even in Việt Nam that traditional arrangement is being displaced by individual matches as the country gets wealthier, at least among the university students and young employees of large companies.
23 posted on 12/24/2013 1:24:47 PM PST by ThanhPhero (Khách sang La Vang hanh huong tham vieng Maria)
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