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‘Play Dates, Life Mates’: eHarmony for Kids goes nationwide
Lark News ^

Posted on 12/27/2013 6:15:14 AM PST by Gamecock

PASADENA — Four years ago, match site eHarmony quietly launched a new initiative, eHarmony4Kids, to help parents find mates for their children. The new program, whose tagline is “Play Dates, Life Mates. eHarmony for Kids,” has worked so well that the company is rolling it out nationally this year.

“People want to steer their kids toward compatible potential life partners at an early age,” says an eHarmony spokesman. “Core beliefs are in place at a young age so we can help them do that.”

Parents in Nashville, Seattle, Sacramento and Boston were secretly invited to participate in the field testing. They had their kids, ages 5 to 17, take the online personality test. Then eHarmony matched them up with other kids they deemed compatible.

The parents did not tell the kids what was happening but encouraged email friendships, play dates and online chatting.

“We told her it was like having a pen pal,” says one mother whose daughter was 8 when she joined the test program.

eHarmony also encouraged parents to form “affinity clusters” of half a dozen or more kids, any two of which were likely to pair up and marry, according to eHarmony’s test results.

“Working in clusters allows your child to have some modicum of choice, instead of just ramming them at one other person and hoping for the best,” says the spokesman.

One set of parents colluded to have the kids in their affinity cluster attend the same college. One of them, Kate Dockery, 19, enrolled at Azusa Pacific University where she and several classmates later found out they’d been “eHarmony-ed” by their parents.

“I felt ripped off,” Dockery says. “They’d been parading suitors before me for four years.”

She does admit that the people in her cluster “are all very good friends. It’s kind of eerie how well we get along,” but she says she would have rather found that out on her own than through eHarmony.

“I don’t mind the whole semi-arranged marriage thing, as long as I’m an active participant,” she says.

eHarmony does not expect the program to be controversial.

“We’re just refining what parents do already,” says the spokesman. •


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: humor; joke; satire

1 posted on 12/27/2013 6:15:15 AM PST by Gamecock
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To: Alex Murphy; markomalley

Ping


2 posted on 12/27/2013 6:15:43 AM PST by Gamecock (Celebrating 20,000 posts of dubious quality.)
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To: Gamecock

That poor kid is getting an unhealthy dose of girl-germs!


3 posted on 12/27/2013 6:17:05 AM PST by Dr. Sivana (There's no salvation in politics.)
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To: Gamecock

I met my wife om eHarmony almost 9 years ago, and I find this a little creepy...


4 posted on 12/27/2013 6:23:17 AM PST by neodad (USS Vincennes (CG-49) Freedom's Fortress)
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To: neodad

I’ve heard eHarmony is very selective in who they choose to accept as a client. Divorce, ordinary vices, etc. are grounds for refusal. Wondering if that’s true.


5 posted on 12/27/2013 6:24:52 AM PST by Gaffer
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To: Gamecock

Frankly, I think the idea of marrying a person a lot like you is lazy and limiting. Opposites attract. If I marry a person like myself, what are they bringing to the party? I might as well stay single.


6 posted on 12/27/2013 6:25:04 AM PST by Haiku Guy (Health Care Haiku: If You Have a Right / To the Labor I Provide / I Must Be Your Slave)
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To: Haiku Guy

Well, to the converse, there is no way in Cowboy Hell I would marry a woman who is a fricking rabid liberal. I don’t care how good she looks or is in bed.


7 posted on 12/27/2013 6:26:24 AM PST by Gaffer
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To: Gaffer
...there is no way in Cowboy Hell I would marry a woman who is a fricking rabid liberal...

I didn't suggest one should marry outside the species! Just outside your comfort zone...

8 posted on 12/27/2013 6:28:43 AM PST by Haiku Guy (Health Care Haiku: If You Have a Right / To the Labor I Provide / I Must Be Your Slave)
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To: Gamecock
..we're going (Asian) Indian..
*sigh*..helicopter parents..all aboard.

9 posted on 12/27/2013 6:28:50 AM PST by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Caligula / 0'Reid / 0'Pelosi :-)
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To: Gamecock

There used to be a time when I played with my neighbor’s kids anytime both of us feel like it.

Now we have “Play Dates”, What the heck!! Playing is by appointment now !!

What have we become?


10 posted on 12/27/2013 6:29:15 AM PST by SeekAndFind
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To: neodad
and I find this a little creepy...

I find it a whole lot creepy...

Why would a 8 year old need to find a "life mate" or even a "play date" on the internet ?

What type of weird parent would subject their child to this "experiment"

This whole thing makes my opinion of this company seriously downgraded...

Great idea at first...but this is way over the line...

11 posted on 12/27/2013 6:33:03 AM PST by Popman ("Resistance to Tyrants is Obedience to God" - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Haiku Guy
Frankly, I think the idea of marrying a person a lot like you is lazy and limiting. Opposites attract. If I marry a person like myself, what are they bringing to the party? I might as well stay single.

It's not that "but "opposites attract", "complimentary personalities attract". Somebody who likes to talk needs somebody who is content to listen. Somebody who is freaked out by spiders needs somebody who doesn't mind crushing spiders. Somebody who likes to cook needs somebody who appreciates good cooking.

12 posted on 12/27/2013 6:33:30 AM PST by PapaBear3625 (You don't notice it's a police state until the police come for you.)
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To: Haiku Guy; Gaffer
"out species"
*snickering/LOL!*
"species-ous"
bump to the top

13 posted on 12/27/2013 6:34:09 AM PST by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Caligula / 0'Reid / 0'Pelosi :-)
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To: Haiku Guy

Well, touche’ Funny....


14 posted on 12/27/2013 6:35:16 AM PST by Gaffer
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To: Haiku Guy
I think the idea of marrying a person a lot like you is lazy and limiting.

Hey...stop picking on the homo's .../ S

15 posted on 12/27/2013 6:36:24 AM PST by Popman ("Resistance to Tyrants is Obedience to God" - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Gamecock
Doh'....suckered in...Satire...
16 posted on 12/27/2013 6:42:48 AM PST by Popman ("Resistance to Tyrants is Obedience to God" - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Gamecock

Strange. Neil Clark Warren never struck me as a pot smoker.


17 posted on 12/27/2013 6:45:34 AM PST by Buckeye McFrog
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To: PapaBear3625
Somebody who is freaked out by spiders needs somebody who doesn't mind crushing spiders.

I catch them inside a cup or paper towel and throw them outside. He loves to squish them and get icky bug juice all over the floors and walls. Does this mean we are incompatible?

18 posted on 12/27/2013 6:55:25 AM PST by exDemMom (Current visual of the hole the US continues to dig itself into: http://www.usdebtclock.org/)
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To: Gamecock

19 posted on 12/27/2013 6:58:45 AM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: exDemMom
I catch them inside a cup or paper towel and throw them outside. He loves to squish them and get icky bug juice all over the floors and walls. Does this mean we are incompatible?

I generally catch them in a paper towel and either toss them out (if convenient) or crush them(if not). But I generally tell the females "they're good protein..." before getting around to it.

20 posted on 12/27/2013 7:32:27 AM PST by PapaBear3625 (You don't notice it's a police state until the police come for you.)
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To: Dr. Sivana
That poor kid is getting an unhealthy dose of girl-germs!

Cooties!


21 posted on 12/27/2013 9:55:21 AM PST by Jeff Chandler (Obamacare: You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.)
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To: Haiku Guy
If I marry a person like myself, what are they bringing to the party?

Son, it's about time your pa sat you down for a little talk.
22 posted on 12/27/2013 10:07:16 AM PST by Dr. Sivana (There's no salvation in politics.)
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