Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

4 Lies the Church Taught Me About Sex
Relevant Magazine ^ | 10 June 2014 | Lily Dunn

Posted on 06/14/2014 10:06:08 AM PDT by Gamecock

I've heard people say that growing up as an evangelical meant they never talked about sex. This wasn’t my experience. I grew up in the thick of evangelical purity culture and we talked about sex A LOT. We just spent all of that time talking about how and why NOT to have it.

As someone who waited until I was married to have sex, I was assured that I would be guaranteed an easy and rewarding sex life. When reality turned out to be different, I was disappointed and disillusioned. Only through gradual conversations with other married friends did I realize I wasn’t alone.

I started to wonder if maybe the expectations themselves were wrong. Maybe what I’d been told or inferred about post-marital sex simply wasn’t true.

Here are four of the biggest lies about sex I believed before marriage

1. Any and all physical contact is like a gateway drug to sex.

Once in high school I attended a big Christian youth conference. One night, one of the chaperones addressed the girls: “Girls, we have noticed some very inappropriate touching going on...”

The inappropriate touching she meant turned out to be two high school couples in the youth group holding hands. This woman was deadly serious. “I know it may not seem like a big deal to you,” she said. “But hand-holding leads to OTHER THINGS!”

I heard similar things from parents, teachers, church leaders and books. In my church it was not unusual for people to pledge not only to save sex until marriage, but even to save their first kiss for their wedding day. “Don’t start the engine if you aren’t ready to drive the car,” and other similar metaphors warned me that any physical contact was a slippery slope straight into the jaws of fornication.

On this side of things, I can honestly say that there are SO many conscious decisions you have to make between kissing and having sex. Despite what Hollywood says, clothes do not take themselves off and bodies do not magically and effortlessly fit together.

If you are committed to waiting until you’re married to have sex, there are many valid reasons to set boundaries on your physical relationship, but the fear of accidentally having sex shouldn’t be one of them.

2. If you wait until you are married to have sex, God will reward you with mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night.

Before my wedding night, I had been told that honeymoon sex isn’t usually the best sex. I had heard that good sex takes work. I knew that it would probably be uncomfortable at first. But what nobody ever, EVER told me was that it was possible that it just might not work at all at first. On my wedding night, my mind and heart were there, but my body was locked up tighter than Maid Marian’s chastity belt.

I entered marriage with the firm conviction that God rewards those who wait, only to find myself confounded by the mechanics. I felt like an utter failure, both as a wife and a woman. And while we did (eventually) get things working, this was hard, frustrating, embarrassing and a huge blow to our confidences.

Saving sex for marriage is not a guarantee that you will have great sex or that sex will be easy. All it guarantees is that the person you fumble through it with will be someone who has already committed to love you forever.

3. Girls don’t care about sex.

As a teenager and young adult I cannot count the times I heard something to this effect: “Boys are very visual and sexual, so even though you aren’t thinking about sex, you need to be careful because you are responsible for not making them stumble.”

Let’s disregard for now how degrading this is toward men and focus on the underlying assumption that boys are sexual and girls aren’t. For years I was told that “girls don’t care about sex.” Well, as it turns out, I do. This has been a deep source of shame for me. For a long time I felt like a freak, until I started to realize that I wasn’t the only one, not by a longshot. But I never knew it because no one would admit it.

Many girls (yes, even Christian girls) think about sex. Many girls (yes, even Christian girls) like sex. This doesn’t make you a freak. It doesn’t make you unfeminine or unnatural. God created us, both men AND women, as sexual beings. Enjoying sex makes you a human being created by God, in the image of God, with the capacity and desire to love—physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually.

4. When you get married, you will immediately be able to fully express yourself sexually without guilt or shame.

Many Christians have spent years—from the day they hit puberty until their wedding day—focusing their energy on keeping their sex drives in check. Then, in the space of a few hours, they are expected to stop feeling like their sexuality is something they must carefully control and instead be able to express it freely. And not only that—but express it freely with another person.

Many of us have programmed guilt into ourselves—this is how we keep ourselves in check throughout our dating relationships. And that “red light” feeling we train ourselves to obey doesn’t always go away just because we’ve spoken some vows and signed some papers.

It took me several months to stop having that sick-to-my-stomach guilty feeling every time I was together with my husband. Not everyone experiences this, but for the many people who do, it’s terribly isolating. Once again we’re experiencing something our churches and communities never acknowledged as a possibility. We feel alone and broken and filled with a profound sense that this isn’t the way it’s meant to be.

I don’t regret waiting until I was married to have sex, and I’m not advocating that churches stop teaching that sex is designed for marriage. But I do think there is something seriously wrong with the way we’ve handled the conversation.

If our reason for saving sex until marriage is because we believe it will make sex better or easier for us, we’re not only setting ourselves up for disappointment, but we’re missing the point entirely. Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God's intentions and wishes for humanity, and we honor these regardless of whether they feel easier or harder. In the meantime, we in the evangelical church has a lot of work to do correcting the distorted ways we talk about sex and sexuality, especially to our youth.


TOPICS: General Discusssion
KEYWORDS: allyoueverthinkabout; sex
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-68 next last

1 posted on 06/14/2014 10:06:08 AM PDT by Gamecock
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Gamecock
If our reason for saving sex until marriage is because we believe it will make sex better or easier for us, we’re not only setting ourselves up for disappointment, but we’re missing the point entirely. Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God's intentions and wishes for humanity, and we honor these regardless of whether they feel easier or harder. In the meantime, we in the evangelical church has a lot of work to do correcting the distorted ways we talk about sex and sexuality, especially to our youth.

2 posted on 06/14/2014 10:06:58 AM PDT by Gamecock (#BringTheAdultsBackToDC)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

Sounds like she needs counseling.


3 posted on 06/14/2014 10:11:31 AM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ViLaLuz

Her view is prevalent in churches that carry the teachings she is referring to.


4 posted on 06/14/2014 10:16:10 AM PDT by DonaldC (A nation cannot stand in the absence of religious principle.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: ViLaLuz

Why is that?


5 posted on 06/14/2014 10:17:22 AM PDT by FourPeas ("Maladjusted and wigging out is no way to go through life, son." -hg)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

1. Any and all physical contact is like a gateway drug to sex.

No, I wouldn’t say that. But not so terrible to avoid any PDA vs. doing it. I wish the f-ags would obey that rule.

2. If you wait until you are married to have sex, God will reward you with mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night.

I wouldn’t say that either. Maybe expectations are too high. Ties into my next comment.

3. Girls don’t care about sex.

Not nearly as much as males do. Really. Yes, we care, but overall it’s not so all-important as it is for males. It’s only one thing. I think other things are more important to show love, and perfectly content without sexual things (beginning aging seemed to drain me of libido, frankly), whereas certain someones seem to think the most important way is sex. Both by him and to him.

This ties in with the “promise of great sex”. It’s really not that important. Just don’t let me have terrible sex - just like don’t make me marry a truly ugly guy.

4. When you get married, you will immediately be able to fully express yourself sexually without guilt or shame.

Why not? I understand the conditioning, but personally I had no illusions. I kept it under wraps but knew what capabilities I had, knew what I’d not mind trying so there was no problem. Shyness is the biggest thing, not worrying about morals. It’s all fair game at that point. Maybe some people don’t really get that.

“Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God’s intentions and wishes for humanity”

It’s about time we say exactly why wait, and it is from what sex is actually for - making babies. If babies are made outside that covenant, they are automatically born into rough times. It is not fair for a child to be born into lousy circumstances with 1 parent, who also shows herself to be of low character. Probably will be of low income, arguing and fighting with strangers as well as relatives, just generally of poor environment.

That is the reason it is immoral to have sex outside marriage. Other issues are incidental, including how it can hurt the “adults” involved when they break up, etc. Easier when you haven’t tried that “bond”. They will never stop thinking about that sex, and it will affect later marriage and children, etc.


6 posted on 06/14/2014 10:21:53 AM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

The earthly reward for adhering to God’s commandments is that it saves you a whole lot of trouble.


7 posted on 06/14/2014 10:24:46 AM PDT by gusopol3
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

I would agree certain churches have an extra-Biblical attitude to sexual activity, but the Word is the Word and it does limit your desires and expressions for your own good. It does seem this woman is venting anger at God aiming it at the church.


8 posted on 06/14/2014 10:26:20 AM PDT by Viennacon
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gusopol3

Good points. Sex outside marriage can cause major problems in your life. There is nothing wrong with avoiding potentially bad situations,even if you have sexual desires but don’t have a spouse to share them with.


9 posted on 06/14/2014 10:32:51 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego (s)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Dilbert San Diego
One issue is, what is a potentially bad situation? The answer will vary from person to person, but some Churches/people go overboard. Handholding, limited kissing/hugging, being without a chaperon, even interaction with the opposite gender before age 25 have been presented to me by various people as gateway drugs to illicit sex and a passel of illegitimate ankle-biters.
10 posted on 06/14/2014 10:38:14 AM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard (Pope Calvin the 1st, defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

1. Any and all physical contact is like a gateway drug to sex.

This is sound advice taken to an absurd extreme (handholding?!)

2. If you wait until you are married to have sex, God will reward you with mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night.

Good sex takes time and practice. The two most important elements are patience and a sense of humor.

3. Girls don’t care about sex.

Most girls aren’t driven by sex the way men are. We’re wired that way. Generally, women appreciate sex more as they mature.

4. When you get married, you will immediately be able to fully express yourself sexually without guilt or shame.

What’s the fun in that? Just kidding.


11 posted on 06/14/2014 10:38:21 AM PDT by Jeff Chandler (Conservatism is the political disposition of grown-ups.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dilbert San Diego

Too bad so many are too old when they learn that. Keeping the commandments keeps you from having to learn by experience.


12 posted on 06/14/2014 10:39:08 AM PDT by gusopol3
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: FourPeas

Sounds like she and her husband are struggling with personal issues. A good Christian counselor could help.


13 posted on 06/14/2014 10:40:05 AM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

Sounds more like it’s the way she personally experienced it / dealt with it and claims that is how everyone else must also feel...I’m sorry for her and maybe her own church was way overboard but I haven’t encountered any young married couples having this experience who waited until they were married...though they weren’t scolded for holding hands, embracing, etc. before they were married either like apparently she was told not to do.


14 posted on 06/14/2014 10:42:34 AM PDT by Republican Wildcat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

Maybe try to be more in line with what GOD says in his word about sexual relations FIRST. As imperfect beings we may not always see or understand reasons behind Gods instruction, that doesn’t mean though that they have no merit or should be ignored. Take a good look around you and observe for yourself the product of man’s interpretation of right and wrong, specifically with regards to sexuality


15 posted on 06/14/2014 10:55:53 AM PDT by snappahead (if your gonna be dumb, you better be tough.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Viennacon

Not at all. Read the last paragraph.


16 posted on 06/14/2014 10:58:39 AM PDT by Gamecock (#BringTheAdultsBackToDC)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: snappahead
True.

But legalistic implementation is wrong too.

I grew up with some of this same stuff. There wasn’t really any Biblical teaching, just heaping non Biblical interpretations on us.

I think in many was she is right.

17 posted on 06/14/2014 11:00:34 AM PDT by Gamecock (#BringTheAdultsBackToDC)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: ViLaLuz

I read it differently. It sounds like when they were first married, they had things they needed to learn about each other and their sexuality. Seems pretty normal, actually.


18 posted on 06/14/2014 11:04:43 AM PDT by FourPeas ("Maladjusted and wigging out is no way to go through life, son." -hg)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

Which is exactly my point. Gods word gives us the answers. Indoctrination by churches for control has always been part of history, I too was subjugated to it throughout my childhood and young adult life. Looking back I see that the biblical training my PARENTS provided through scripture that was the most important of all and I am fortunate and thankful for it.


19 posted on 06/14/2014 11:16:55 AM PDT by snappahead (if your gonna be dumb, you better be tough.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

I dated a good Catholic girl (briefly) in college and let’s just say that I knew much more about female sexual anatomy than she did. I felt sorry for her being so ignorant about her own body.


20 posted on 06/14/2014 11:17:00 AM PDT by IronJack
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: the OlLine Rebel; gusopol3
the OlLine Rebel - Very well stated, and very true - from my experience.

gusopo13 - talk about simple common sense boiled down to a single sentence.

21 posted on 06/14/2014 11:25:50 AM PDT by Hardastarboard (Please excuse the potholes in this tagline. Social programs have to take priority in our funding.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: gusopol3
The earthly reward for adhering to God’s commandments is that it saves you a whole lot of trouble.

Yep.

I keep remembering that they are God's COMMANDMENTS, not "suggestions."

22 posted on 06/14/2014 11:26:32 AM PDT by cloudmountain
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: IronJack
I dated a good Catholic girl (briefly) in college and let’s just say that I knew much more about female sexual anatomy than she did. I felt sorry for her being so ignorant about her own body.

Ignorance about one's body isn't as bad as being ignorant about God and His commandments. There are priorities.

There are possibly males who are equally ignorant.

23 posted on 06/14/2014 11:29:51 AM PDT by cloudmountain
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: gusopol3

I agree with the other poster, you summed it up so simply.

Problem is, one cannot prove a negative. Thus, all the immorals who think nothing of any kind of sex (yes, showing your nipple counts) will not think much of your pronouncement. They’ll dismiss it with “I never had any trouble!” But how much less would there have been?


24 posted on 06/14/2014 11:33:51 AM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

“In the meantime, we in the evangelical church has a lot of work to do correcting the distorted ways we talk about sex and sexuality, especially to our youth.”

I guess that would depend on the church. Based on some churches I visited before settling into one, I’d say there are a lot more problems with evangelicals compromising on sexuality than with evangelicals promoting abstinence.

And since the surrounding society is telling girls to have sex at around 13, and to be experts by 16, there needs to be a counter message that says sex is NOT the focus of a man or woman’s life.

This sentence boggled my mind: “2. If you wait until you are married to have sex, God will reward you with mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night.” That is NOT something I’ve ever heard preached or taught. We do not abstain from premarital sex so God will give us “mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night”! That ranks up there with the folks teaching that we tithe so God will give us more and we’ll become rich!

We do it because it is God’s plan for a husband and wife to learn together and because we’re to make loving each other under God our objective, not “mind-blowing sex”. It makes one wonder how many other errors she has been taught about God, justification and sanctification.


25 posted on 06/14/2014 11:37:02 AM PDT by Mr Rogers (Left wing. Right wing. One buzzard.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock
People have an incorrect view of what Christianity teaches about sex.

1. Sex is MEANT to be enjoyed. (Which is precisely WHY it is made to be so enjoyable in the first place. It's supposed to be enjoyable.)

2. Sex is meant to be the reward at the CULMINATION OF A RELATIONSHIP. Not at the start of one, where, once experienced, everything is likely to be downhill from there. We are first supposed to enjoy each other's company, get to know the person first. Hold hands. Learn to enjoy that. Then hugging, other stuff, frolicking in the fields, etc. If you begin with the culmination, the hand-holding and frolicking can't be as interesting, because they don't lead to the, eh, uh...culmination part. ;)

26 posted on 06/14/2014 11:40:32 AM PDT by sauron ("Truth is hate to those who hate Truth" --unknown)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Mr Rogers

Exactly - this makes the focus of the teaching “you”, not God or others. The teaching is supposed to make one think less about oneself, not reward oneself.

But many, many churches of all kinds fail in teaching just about everything. It’s only human, unfortunately.


27 posted on 06/14/2014 11:40:42 AM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: the OlLine Rebel
"Thus, all the immorals who think nothing of any kind of sex (yes, showing your nipple counts)"

Showing your nipple is sex...?

28 posted on 06/14/2014 11:41:45 AM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard (Pope Calvin the 1st, defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

The only legitimate basis of her complaint that I see, is the build-up and over-promising of immediate sexual fulfillment upon marriage after remaining correctly chaste up until that point. It is correct to say that men are very easily stimulated via visual means, whereas women are much less so, to the point that saying they’re not is reasonably accurate. Avoidance of leading men into temptation, since men can be more easily led astray due to their very physiology, is a reasonable and honorable objective.

Regarding sex once married, and to be perhaps a little too blunt, many women have to learn how to reach orgasm and it’s not necessarily an easy thing to achieve. It’s not hard-wired into women’s physical response the way that men are. In a culture that has become so completely saturated with sex, I suppose it’s tempting to overstate the reward for not participating until married in order to hopefully head off the possibility of straying. The fact of the matter is, the vast majority of women will need to learn, the first experience will involve some amount of pain, and it may take a while with a considerate and patient husband for the act itself to become enjoyable.


29 posted on 06/14/2014 11:44:54 AM PDT by RegulatorCountry
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

I have run into the legalistic thing on #1.
I had driven a friend to church for Sunday morning service, then went to a local restaurant for Sunday brunch. During the evening service, I was taken aside by one of the deacons. What I had done was apparently just the same as jumping into bed with her. Needless to say I had shortly left that church.
My car was also an issue as well, a 280ZX. Pagan car!


30 posted on 06/14/2014 11:52:49 AM PDT by Fred Hayek (The Democratic Party is now the operational arm of the CPUSA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

bookmark


31 posted on 06/14/2014 12:20:17 PM PDT by gitmo (If your theology doesn't become your biography, what good is it?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

Lily Dunn

32 posted on 06/14/2014 12:23:01 PM PDT by SkyPilot
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gusopol3

“The earthly reward for adhering to God’s commandments is that it saves you a whole lot of trouble.”

I don’t see any of the four items mentioned in those commandments.


33 posted on 06/14/2014 12:23:44 PM PDT by The Antiyuppie ("When small men cast long shadows, then it is very late in the day.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

They lied? You mean that is NOT the reason I need glasses?


34 posted on 06/14/2014 12:25:42 PM PDT by csmusaret (Will remove Obama-Biden bumperstickers for $10)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sauron

Totally agree. It is such a distortion, purposeful or otherwise of a healthy Biblical-based view of Sex. God created it to bond a man and wife together, for procreation as well as committment and intimacy.

It’s why Hebrews states “The Bed in Marriage is undefiled” - i.e., between a man and wife - with love and respect driving it, have at it.

It’s why Paul writes about husbands and wives not owning their own bodies but they own (read share) the others’ - and NOT to use Sex as a weapon or punishment. Why he further states to NOT deny each other “Except for fasting and prayer, lest you become tempted”. So God knows full well how He made us - happy full sex life in marriage is great to prevent adultery.

And finally, Anyone ever sit down and read Song of Solomon?? A very passionate and erotic (in moral way) book. It’s explicit in the Godly way - between man and wife. God put that in there for us to know full well how to feel about our mate.

I remember several years back where a survey was done and they found that highly religious people - married Christian couples, had the highest percentage of a satisfied sexual life in their marriage - confounded the pollsters - (and probably Madonna - typical idiot who thinks we hate Sex)


35 posted on 06/14/2014 12:37:36 PM PDT by time4good
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock
She was depending upon the wrong institution to "learn" about the particular subject matter.


36 posted on 06/14/2014 12:40:03 PM PDT by BlueDragon (the wicked flee when none pursueth, but the righteous...are as bold as a lion)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ViLaLuz

A great book on the subject.

The Act of Marriage by Tim LaHaye.


37 posted on 06/14/2014 12:54:24 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Wyrd bið ful aræd

It is immoral to show things associated directly with sex. So in those terms, yes showing female nipple is.


38 posted on 06/14/2014 1:30:02 PM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

An article like this puts to be the lie that is being spread around that Catholics leave Catholicism because of moral issues.


39 posted on 06/14/2014 1:41:30 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: All

I am a Christian church goer now, but didnt really grow up faith-based, but here goes:
As far as the zero tolerance for any physical contact, yes, that’s what some of them believe. I think it’s a slippery slope argument, but on the other hand, some slopes truly are slippery.

The physical problems that she mentions on the wedding night sound like a little-discussed medical problem that some women have. My heart goes out to her on this one. I hope anybody with this has a patient partner and knowledgable doctor.

She’s indeed right that its unrealistic for people (esp. women) who have been warned away from kissing to turn things on full blast like a faucet on the wedding night.

It sounds to me as if a lot of well meaning stage one thinkers are using trucks and scare tactics on the kids to get them to wait until marriage. Since the culture basically discounts and ridicules virginity, I can sympathize with what they’re up against.
But instead they should give the kids some credit for smarts and be more real with them. Tell them since the fall, sex has been fraught with problems but the problems are generally worse when you’re not in a loving marriage. Don’t be afraid to talk about happiness, a worthwhile goal, and delayed gratification, not just in sex, but in other things, like finances. Delayed gratification is often a big part of happiness in the long run. Unless they are in a bubble with other kids of their background, they probably have friends who are sexually active and having problems because of it. There are certainly plenty of examples with public figures, too.


40 posted on 06/14/2014 1:45:02 PM PDT by crazycatlady
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: time4good

I remember that survey. It was in the seventies.


41 posted on 06/14/2014 1:47:08 PM PDT by crazycatlady
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: sauron

Frolicking in the fields? What if you don’t have access to a field? That’s gotta be inequality, of some kind, or something, I think.


42 posted on 06/14/2014 1:50:43 PM PDT by crazycatlady
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock

Sure isn’t taught to such absurdities in lots of churches.

What is all too often not taught is the value of earlier marriage. Quit fighting the best time for it.


43 posted on 06/14/2014 2:19:03 PM PDT by ctdonath2 ("If they bring a knife to the fight, we bring a gun" - Obama, setting RoE with his opposition)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: the OlLine Rebel
I wouldn't advocate women going around flashing their nipples at people, but IMHO its a lesser crime than extra-marital sex.

In other cultures, female toplessness isn't an issue, and they find it humorous that westerners consider it to be so. Plus, nipples are not associated directly with sex, in fact, they really are entirely unrelated to sex.

On the other hand, in western culture it has been customary for quite a long time for women to keep their breasts covered, and they have gained thes status of "secondary sexual characteristics." Point being, its not appropriate in our society for women to show their nipples, but its not the same thing as sex.

44 posted on 06/14/2014 2:49:36 PM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard (Pope Calvin the 1st, defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: metmom

I’m not exactly grasping your point.


45 posted on 06/14/2014 2:50:31 PM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard (Pope Calvin the 1st, defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: Wyrd bið ful aræd

Associated. Trying to distinguish. Men get hyped up about it because they don’t have them. It may be western to hide them but men all over still like squeezing them.


46 posted on 06/14/2014 2:55:27 PM PDT by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Technological progress cannot be legislated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: cloudmountain
Ignorance about one's body isn't as bad as being ignorant about God and His commandments. There are priorities.

I don't think for a second that God wants us to be ashamed of our bodies. Modest, yes. Respectful? Sure. But ashamed? Ignorant? No way. HE made them, after all. And he made them the way they are, which is perfect. So there's nothing to be ashamed of.

There are possibly males who are equally ignorant.

There are undoubtedly boys who have been warned against "touching themselves" and who don't understand their perfectly natural sexual reactions. But since women have traditionally been the losers in illicit sexual encounters, I think more stress is put on them to avoid sexual thoughts, and consequently, they tend to be more ignorant more often.

I don't know that for a fact, but I've never met a male who was as ignorant about his body as this poor girl was about hers.

47 posted on 06/14/2014 3:07:59 PM PDT by IronJack
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: metmom

“The Act of Marriage by Tim LaHaye”

Ah yes... I agree it’s a great book!


48 posted on 06/14/2014 3:10:21 PM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock; aposiopetic; rbmillerjr; Lowell1775; JPX2011; NKP_Vet; Jed Eckert; ...
+

Freep-mail me to get on or off my pro-life and Catholic List:

Add me / Remove me

Please ping me to note-worthy Pro-Life or Catholic threads, or other threads of general interest.

49 posted on 06/14/2014 3:11:39 PM PDT by narses (Matthew 7:6. He appears to have made up his mind let him live with the consequences.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Fred Hayek

“My car was also an issue as well, a 280ZX.”

Heavens, that’s racy!


50 posted on 06/14/2014 3:15:01 PM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-68 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson