Skip to comments.You Might be a Leftist If . . .
Posted on 10/08/2003 7:48:26 AM PDT by EsclavoDeCristo
-You believe John Ashcroft poses a greater danger to America than Osama bin Laden
-You think President Bush lied to the nation but his predecessor did not.
-You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy.
-You believe all conservatives are racist, but do not think minorities can ever succeed without Affirmative Action.
-You can't decide which is worse: the Patriot Act or the Patriot Missile.
-You believe Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, and Yasser Arafat were fairly and democratically elected, but President Bush was not.
-You root for prisoners when they escape from our oppressive prisons, but oppose allowing poor children to escape from failing public schools.
-You support every kind of "diversity" on campus, except political orientation.
-You support banning the smoking of tobacco and legalizing marijuana.
-You are enraged by the so-called mistreatment of Muslim prisoners (who have gained weight while dining on their specially prepared Koran-approved meals) at Guantanamo Bay, but believe the world should have stood idly by while Saddam Hussein filled mass graves.
-You have found where the right to an abortion is written in the Constitution but cannot find where the Constitution provides for a right to keep and bear arms.
-You support campus speech codes that ban pick-up lines and amorous gazes, but never spoke out against President Clinton's physical sexual harassment in the White House.
-You applauded Jimmy Carter for talking about human rights in foreign policy but opposed George W. Bush for doing something about human rights.
-You believe that trial lawyers taking 33 to 40 percent of a plaintiff's recovery in lawsuits is just about right, but the federal government taking this amount of our income in taxes is not nearly enough.
-You believe the former Governor of a New England state with 608,827 people is more than adequately experienced to be President in 2004, but the Governor of a Southwestern state with 21,325,018 people was completely unprepared in 2000.
-You agree with Toni Morrison that President Clinton was "the first black President," but didn't criticize Al Sharpton for recently labeling President Bush a "gang leader."
-You believe we could get more truth out of the Pentagon if only Don Rumsfeld were replaced by Mohammed Al-Sahhaf.
-You believe evangelical Christians are destroying America but don't feel threatened by the radical Wahabbi sect of Islam.
-When it comes to violent crime, you believe in hating the crime but loving the criminal.
-You support unlimited appeals for convicted criminals, but believe it is undemocratic for Californians to reverse their earlier mistake of electing Gray Davis.
-You believe U.S. exports of genetically modified foods pose a greater threat to African nations than corrupt dictators like Zimbabwe's Mugabe.
-You believe welfare is a fundamental human right and workfare is a human rights violation.
-You believe religion is a scourge on our society, but becoming one with Mother Nature by merging with the universal consciousness and harmonizing with lunar reverberations will save us.
-You believe President Bush is an environmental criminal for poisoning the water with arsenic, but have never complained about Saddam Hussein's devastating Iraq and Kuwait's environment by setting intentional oil well fires and committing genocide against the Marsh Arabs by draining their wetlands.
-Your car sports the bumper sticker saying that "it will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need and the military has to hold bake sales," but oppose allowing the U.S. military to volunteer recruitment tables on college campuses because of their "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.
If the above has successfully profiled you, congratulations! You have won a one-way ticket to Paris aboard the massive cruise ship, "The U.S.S.R. Michael Moore." Your ticket will be held at the nearest Dennis Kucinich for President rally. Matricular consular ID cards issued by foreign governments will be gladly accepted as identification
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Some more insight into the sick Liberal party:
The Rules of Liberalism
1. At the most basic level, the liberal is an adolescent forever in search of a world without moral consequence.
2. Freedom from moral consequence can only be secured by a collectivist, totalitarian state.
3. The liberal religion reveres the twin gods of genitals and government, and is overseen by a priesthood of psychologists.
4. Freedom" to the liberal is strictly freedom of the genitals.
5. All non-sexual individual freedoms are despised by the liberal because they demand moral responsibility.
6. The fundamental power struggle of the liberal is individual v. collective. The individual must be relieved of all power in favor of the collective.
7. Individualism demands moral responsibility. Collectivism hopes to eliminate the need for moral responsibility.
8. The U.S. Constitution - specifically the individualistic Bill of Rights - is the enemy of the liberal.
9. The liberal despises the United States because it is the premier guarantor and promoter of individualism in the world.
10. All institutions and concerns - schools, environment, courts, etc. - serve no relevant purpose other than the promotion of collectivism.
11. Abortion is necessary to guarantee genital freedom and eliminate moral consequence.
12. The basis of psychology is the elimination of moral responsibility.
13. The liberal must create an atmosphere of crisis and fear to justify collectivist oppression.
14. Any religious person who believes or promotes moral consequence is the enemy of the liberal and must be oppressed.
15. Despite decades of spectacular failure, the liberal clings to the collectivist dream because it is far more than a theory of government. It is a religion.
16. The liberal seeks to dominate any institution which can weaken or destroy individual parental rights - public schools, child abuse agencies, pediatric associations, etc.
17. The liberal applauds the imprisoning of home schooling parents who dare to raise their children outside the control of collectivist public schools.
18. Private ownership of guns is the single greatest symbol of individual power, and therefore despised.
19. All individual freedoms demand the responsible behavior of the individual, and therefore demand a moral code. Liberals despise freedom because they despise morality.
20. The liberal loves Bill Clinton because of who he is, not in spite of who he is.
21. The liberal despises national sovereignty which protects individual freedoms.
22. The liberal promotes international governments (UN, EU, etc.) which seek to destroy individualism protected by sovereign states.
23. The liberal fears any hint of individualism in any part of the world, and is obsessed with the centralized control of all human activity and thought.
24. Multi-culturalism" is the code word for a single, oppressive, collectivist culture.
25. Liberals speak often of tolerance, but only tolerate liberals.
26. The liberal seeks to criminalize any speech which promotes morality or individualism as "hate speech".
27. Environmentalists lie as a matter of course.
28. The liberal's only method of debate is to insult and discredit anyone who dares to disagree.
29. When possible, liberals oppress anyone who questions their beliefs.
30. Liberals despise all innocence - especially the innocence of a child.
31. Liberals seek the sexualization of children and the normalization of pedophilia, all in the pursuit of genital freedom.
32. In the liberal mind, your freedom is their oppression.
33. Private property and individual wealth is integral to individualism, and the enemy of the liberal.
34. The liberal hates you.
35. The liberal seeks to replace a moral world view with an emotional world view.
36. The liberal typically chooses a career which produces nothing of value - lawyer, bureaucrat, "activist", etc. - and uses government to extract the wealth of others.
37. Liberal programs enrich liberals and do little to help the poor.
38. The liberal despises masculinity as a symbol of individual power
39. Feminists groups are about lesbianism and socialism, not equal rights for women.
40. Liberals are perfectly willing to destroy you financially, remove your children, and imprison you for what you believe.
41. Liberals fear technology and change - because neither can be centrally controlled.
42. Liberals are not obsessed with sex, but with promiscuity. Promiscuity is the dominate theme of the liberal media culture.
43. Liberals despise the suburbs as a manifestation of individual prosperity, private property ownership, and the family.
44. Liberals despise marriage and family because they are institutions which frown on promiscuity.
45. Liberals despise the automobile as a symbol of individual freedom and power.
46. Liberals seek to control public schools, and force all children into them, in order to foster promiscuity and collectivist ideology in children.
47. Other diseases kill millions more, but liberals are obsessed with Aids because it is a moral consequence of promiscuity.
48. Liberals are more committed than conservatives because their politics is also their religion.
49. Liberal activities are all about ego - to demonstrate "I care more than you do" without really helping anyone.
50. Whenever a liberal expresses concern "for the children", they are using and targeting children to expand promiscuity, collectivism, and their own pocketbooks and egos.
51. Because collectivist politics is their only morality, liberals have no problem with deceit, oppression, or violence in their pursuit of collectivism.
52. Liberals are elitists who exempt themselves from the oppressive rules they impose on the general population.
53. Liberals howl if a transvestite or convicted felon is even slightly offended, but openly bash Christians.
54. Liberals dream of a return to a centralized, 1940's urban environment. We all ride the bus from a small, dirty, big city apartment to an 8-5 union job.
55. Liberals believe that wealth is static - anyone who makes money must be stealing it from someone else.
56. Liberals claim to be against violence, but makes excuses for liberals like Castro who torture political dissidents.
57. Liberals have enormous compassion for criminal predators, but little for the victims.
58. Animal Rights activists despise humanity.
59. Liberals believe that passing religious values to children is a form of child abuse.
60. Liberals use moralistic tones and catch-phrases like "social justice", but their only moral is the accumulation of power
61. Liberals ideologies tend inevitably towards world-wide totalitarianism.
62. Liberals are never satisfied with the power they have gained over the lives of individuals - they must control every thought and detail of human activity.
63. In the liberal world, all problems stem from individualism, and all solutions are collective.
64. Liberals are humorless bores.
65. Bill Clinton raped Juanita Broaderick. Liberals don't care.
66. Bill Clinton used the IRS to oppress conservative political speech. Liberals admire him for it.
67. Scientists are obsessed with "life on other planets" to confirm the full theory of evolution. The alternative terrifies them.
68. Liberals are forever in search of a religion (New Age, pagan, Unitarianism, etc.) which smiles on promiscuity.
69. Liberals despise the Pope because he refuses to compromise on abortion, birth control, and divorce. All three positions discourage promiscuity.
70. Better that millions of Africans die in the agony of AIDS, and fortunes wasted on cures that don't work, than one liberal breath discouraging promiscuity.
71. A full-time mother enrages a liberal.
72. Liberals admire the Chinese forced abortion policy.
73. Twenty years after spectacularly successful airline deregulation, liberals still whine about it because they are obsessed with collectivism, and they are elitists who don't like flying with the middle class.
74. Human life is cheap in the liberal world.
75. Liberals are Puritans - pompous, uptight, and legalistic. They crave a bland, monolythic culture where dissent is oppressed by criminal law.
76. Liberals cannot conceive of a solution to a problem which does not involve government.
77. Hillary's Village is a totalitarian state.
78. The EU is all about socialism.
79. Given the chance, liberals would ban the Bible as "hate speech".
80. Liberals view humans as monetary objects without moral motivation (welfare, etc.) , but view inanimate objects (guns, profits, etc.) in exclusively moral terms.
81. The Third Way is a new shade of lipstick on the same old socialist pig.
82. In Hillary's Village, parents are the child-rearing problem, not the solution.
83. Liberals supported the return of Elian Gonzalez because they admire Castro's collectivist island prison.
84. Michael Jackson is a pedophile. The liberal media admire him.
85. Liberals despise the death penalty as the ultimate statement of moral and individual responsibility.
86. Anyone who criticizes any aspect of homosexuality is hysterically accused of "homophobia" and "latent homosexuality".
87. Environmentalists have evolved into pagans who worship rather than "protect" nature.
88. Modern art is obsessed with hatred for morality and Christianity.
89. The majority of US universities despise intellectual freedom.
90. Liberals are obsessed with the elimination of risk because risk is integral to freedom and personal responsibility.
91. Liberals create child abuse witch hunts, and often send innocent parents to prison in child abuse cases, to justify their destruction of parental rights.
92. Liberal bureaucrats oppress conservatives and Christians whenever possible.
93. Liberals are nasty, violent thugs.
94. Better thousands of women die in the agony of breast cancer, than one liberal breath revealing the link between breast cancer and abortion.
95. A liberal would sooner pull out his own teeth with a pair of pliers than cut a tax.
96. Liberals have never really given up on Marx.
97. Pedophilia is a big part of homosexual culture.
98. Liberals dream of a massive network of government social workers who control individual families in detail.
99. The goal of the United Nations is world-wide totalitarianism.
100. The primary tool of environmentalism is paranoia based on falsehood.
101. Like the modern liberal, Hitler was a socialist, not a fascist.
102. Liberals crave the kind of Gestapo "Zero-tolerance" society seen in modern public schools.
103. The liberal worships appetite and disdains self-discipline.
104. The liberal is an intolerant, narrow-minded, thug.
105. The liberal end of bigger government justifies any means - including lies, deception, corruption, and violence.
106. The national media is an extension of the Democrat party, and relentlessly liberal.
107. For the liberal, "bi-partisan" means being more liberal.
108. Animal Rights and Environmental "activists" are more about hatred of humanity than love of nature.
109. The liberal's favorite play, "The Vagina Monologues", glorifies child rape and pedophilia, among other perversions.
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