Posted on 02/24/2019 1:22:51 AM PST by robowombat
A Soldier Took Her Life After Milspouses Bullied Her. We Must Sound the Alarm
by Team MSF
Last week, Nicole Burnham, a 21-year-old soldier at Ft. Carson, took her life. She had been reportedly cyberbullied by military spouses. Social media has made it easy for military spouses and service members to find like-minded groups. . .or so they think. Then, one wrong question or comment can lead to an attack from the very people who are supposed to be supporting each other and building each other up.
Cyberbullying is an epidemic in the military community. Why is it happening?
Many things that are written online would never be said straight to someone’s face in person. The digital age has made it easy for others to hide behind a computer screen without many repercussions. When you put hundreds or even thousands of military spouses in a group, there is bound to be conflict. I have noticed many groups having more and more administrators so someone is watching things around the clock to hopefully halt any discussions that go south. There are no standards or punishments for civilian military spouses involved in this type of online behavior. As a military spouse, I have been cyberbullied by other spouses. I never knew people in the military community could be so cruel until I joined several military spouse groups and witnessed it. A new military spouse asked for advice in a Facebook group, and everyone was chiming in with their tidbits of advice. I had recently written a blog post on that same topic, so I shared a link with her in the thread. Another person notified me I was about to be shamed in a Facebook group that exists solely to bully, humiliate, and name-call military spouses. I went to the Facebook group and was fuming mad at the names and stereotypes that these military spouses, service members, and veterans were calling me. I reported this to Facebook several times to no avail.
How can the problem of cyberbullying in the military spouse community be resolved? These are just a few ways:
Social media group administrators: Group admins need to monitor comments and posts more closely, recruit more group administrators, and report cyberbullying when it occurs instead of simply deleting a post. Accountability: Military spouses who engage in cyberbullying should be held accountable for their actions. Facebook: The Facebook community guidelines about bullying and harassment state that “We don’t tolerate bullying or harassment,” however, not all reports of bullying and harassment are taken seriously enough. Groups that continue to allow bullying and harassment of individuals should be shut down immediately. Training: Military spouses must be trained on cyberbullying, safe and secure usage of social media (as OPSEC is continually violated), and cultural sensitivity/diversity training. Military spouses are from many different cultures, ages, experiences, and education levels. Training would help our entire community to be on the same page and understand what the expectations are for online behavior. We should be building each other up, sharing resources to help each other, and teaching others the lessons we have learned along the way. We should be paving the way to make this life easier for others, not more difficult than it already is. Military spouses need to show more compassion to each other online and reach out a helping hand instead of a dagger. As an Army wife, I am appalled by those who harassed and bullied Burnham to the point of suicide and ruined the entire Army and military spouse reputation in the process. It is time to combat the issue of military spouse cyberbullying once and for all.
By Wendi Iacobello
Nicole Burnham
Nicole died on Jan. 26, 2018. She hung herself in a closet in her room weeks after arriving at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
"It's just like you see in the movies," Stacey said about the day she learned of Nicole's death. "They knock on the door and give you the 'I regret to inform you' speech."
What's left of her youngest child is an urn on the fireplace hearth and a Gold Star in the window, signifying that the family has lost a member while in the armed services. Photos that show Nicole in high school and in the service are framed and hung around the living room.
"I can put every single photo I have of her into a photo album because the last one is the last," Stacey said. "There will never be another photo of her."
Nicole enlisted in the Army in 2015, shortly after graduating from Anoka High School. Her first assignment was at Camp Casey in South Korea.
"She enjoyed Korea… She said she had a beautiful view of the mountains," Stacey said. "There was no fear, there was no hesitation."
Fellow soldiers described Nicole to Army investigators as "cheerful, down to earth," when she arrived at Camp Casey in Tongduchon, Republic of Korea.
Months later, her peers and her family members described a shift in Nicole's personality.
'It's Inconceivable that They Let her Languish in Korea'
Army documents show Nicole reported she was sexually assaulted on Sept. 15, 2017.
"I never, never thought another soldier that she served with would hurt her," Stacey said.
The soldier who attacked Nicole was eventually court-martialed. Burnham said the family agreed to a plea deal that resulted in the soldier receiving a less than honorable discharge.
While the Army investigated the attack, Nicole requested an Expedited Victim Transfer which allows victims of sexual assault to be transferred to another base following a credible allegation.
"I have a fear of running into the offender or people creating rumors of the incident, regardless of where I may go in Korea," Nicole wrote on her request for transfer.
Documents show a commander approved the request on September 22, but Nicole did not leave Camp Casey until Dec. 12, 2017 – 82 days later.
"The whole idea behind an Expedited Victim Transfer is just that, to expedite the process, to get them out," Stacey said.
Nicole told at least one other soldier that the transfer was "taking too long," according to investigative records.
"It's inconceivable that they let her languish in Korea," said Don Christensen, president of Protect our Defenders, a Washington D.C. based non-profit dedicated to ending sexual assault and harassment in the military.
Christensen, a retired Air Force Col. who spent 20 years prosecuting sexual assault in the military, reviewed the investigative records obtained by 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS.
"The military can get forces to a country in a time of conflict in a matter of hours," he said. "They should be able to get a single soldier…out of an installation within hours."
While she waited to be transferred, Nicole "remained in the same barracks…" as did her attacker.
Army investigators concluded there was no evidence that commanding officers considered separating the two until October, when Nicole's attacker "allegedly jumped out to scare and intimidate her."
"Again, it was just a falling through yet another crack," Stacey said in response to the investigative findings from the Army.
Nicole was moved to new barracks at Camp Casey but in the weeks that followed, she was subjected to harassment from within the ranks including from her attacker, fellow soldiers and their wives.
Army investigators concluded that Nicole "didn't report the harassment to her chain of command..."
However, in a sworn statement, a fellow soldier said "most of the [officers] were aware of the derogatory statements, harassment and intimidation… yet they turned a blind eye."
Not only did superior officers know about the harassment, they knew Nicole may have been suicidal, according to the report.
In October 2017, while waiting to be transferred, Nicole made a "specific suicidal ideation," stating that "she couldn't take it anymore," records show.
Investigators found a commander violated Army policy by not reporting those comments up the chain of command, thus "preventing more accurate assessments" of Nicole's emotional state.
Investigators learned that Nicole told another soldier numerous times that "she didn't want to be here, didn't want to be alive." But Army investigators concluded the climate in the unit did not allow for "open reporting" of the harassment she faced.
Stacey said she could tell her daughter was suffering when she spoke to her on the phone but did not know about the suicidal comments, or the military's failure to address them, until months later when the Army finished its investigation.
"There were times when [Nicole] would admit that, 'I just didn't want to talk to anybody, I'm depressed, I really don't leave my room,'" Stacey said. "She never talked about being suicidal. It was more just like, 'I can't wait to get out of here.'"
When Nicole was finally transferred off the base last December, Army investigators found her commanders failed again. The report shows they did not alert staff at Fort Carson that she was a victim of sexual assault.
"The people who were supposed to be there helping her just did not seem to care," Burnham said.
If you know of any issues involving members of the U.S. military from Minnesota, please contact Kirsten Swanson, the reporter on this story. You can reach her via email at kswanson@kstp.com.
Timeline of Events
Note: This timeline is based on the Army's investigation into Nicole's death and the events that led up to her suicide. It includes events that happened at both Camp Casey in Korea and at Fort Carson in Colorado.
Sept. 15, 2017 – Nicole reported the sexual assault
Sept. 19, 2017 – Nicole requested an Expedited Victim Transfer
Sept. 22, 2017 – Nicole's commander approved the transfer
Dec. 12, 2017 – Nicole departed Korea and returned to Andover, Minn.
Dec. 29, 2017 – Nicole reported to her new base at Fort Carson, Colorado.
Jan. 25, 2018 – Nicole is informed that there is a chance she'd have to testify telephonically in a court-martial hearing for the soldier who attacked her. A fellow soldier who Nicole had served with in Korea receives messages from her, stating "you won't hear from me tonight," and "you won't hear from me tomorrow." The unidentified soldier sends Stacey Burnham a message, relaying his concerns about Nicole's well-being.
Jan. 26, 2018 – Stacey Burnham reaches military police at Fort Carson and requests a welfare check on Nicole. Nicole is pronounced dead just after 7:30 a.m., after police found her hung from her closet in her room.
Source: AR 15-6 investigative report
What a very sad and horrific story. This really angers me.
I have seen the Army have whole families out of country before the sun came up. And their furnishings.
I see Patsy Schroeder is still alive. I wonder what she has to say about this?
When I was in the Air Force I knew of a case where they flew an Airman out back to my base in a matter of hours.
Why?
Turns out the shit assaulted raped someone and the military authorities didn’t want the shit to be turned over to the local authorities.
Pardon my anger. I ran into the guy. While he never mentioned the attacker directly, he laughed about the whole situation saying he never imagined he would be flown out of the country all by himself on a plane.
It was a good thing I contained myself. Not that I *wanted* to contain myself....
I’m surprised I am still as angry as that day, thinking about it....
Another reason why society knew not to have large scale mixed sex militaries until everybody somehow forgot in the past few decades.
...yep. I’m ticked.
...while he never mentioned the attack directly.....
So angry I couldn’t type correctly!
Ft Carson is as corrupt as the day is long. Several years ago the son of a great friend was stationed there and his belongings, including his new laptop computer, started disappearing.
He told his parents he found out who it was and made a comment, without naming names, on Facebook that he was going to turn the thief in. The next day he was found dead in his barracks room and the corrupt Army did not even investigate. They immediately declared his death a suicide. and closed the case the same day.
Unless I’m missing something, the story never says if it was a male or female who attacked her, although it does mention the ‘same barracks’.
If she was 21, she’s lived with this cyber world her entire life. If she hadn’t learned how to navigate that world by now, I am empathetic.
The government cannot monitor everyone.
I am in favor of turning all forms of internet communication including FB into utilities.
With powerful blocker tools developed to allow users to filter what they receive.
I understand your point. But, this stuff is a fact of life.
There are days when I almost look forward to a loss of power for a couple of days.
I love it when the power goes out.
If I could figure out how to get water from my deep well, I could be out for weeks.
More proof that the military is recruiting the weakest among us. The military seems to just be a jobs program and social experiment vehicle and not a war fighting machine.
And by the way, while I have sympathy for the person, if the story is true, the person committed suicide over words, which says much for the lack of fortitude she had.
JoMa
I can’t hire people for $16 hour jobs.
The military pays less.
If we want a better fighting force, either restart the draft or pay competitively.
Neither will happen.
What does this have to do with pay?
It would not surprise me if they had mixed sex barracks, what a great idea!
The military pays less.
If we want a better fighting force, either restart the draft or pay competitively.
Neither will happen.
The military doesn't do too badly these days. Much of the military (outside of combat arms and a few others) has a traditional work week (~40 hrs), or they receive some type of incentive (sea pay, flight pay, hazard duty, family separation etc) for additional duty.
Suppose she was an E-4 with just three years experience - monthly pay is $2431. At 160 hours a month (40 hrs a week x 4 weeks) - that's roughly $15 an hour.
100% of her medical is paid for. She would also have $400,000 in life insurance, plus death gratuity, and room and board. If she didn't live in the barracks and lived on the economy - living in Colorado with no dependents she would receive an additional = $1488 per month for housing.
If she were married or had a child and lived on the economy she would receive $1959 for housing.
Housing allowances are tax free.
In addition she would receive an allowance for subsistence since she would be on economy instead of eating at the chow hall. For enlisted that's $369 per month.
$15 per hour, medical, life insurance, and death benefits with options of room and board, or an additional ~$1857 - $2328 tax free for housing and groceries - I'd say that's pretty good for someone entry level at three years experience.
Further, none of the above takes into consideration free training, enlistment/reenlistment bonuses, or the Post 911 GI Bill which pays for four years of college AND provides four years of E-5 Basic Allowance for Housing while attending school (i.e. you get paid tax free by the military to go to school).
And yes - I say this as someone who spent considerable time as Enlisted swine in the infantry clocking more than a 40hr work week.
Another convenient suicide to clean up loose ends?
This happens far more frequently than people know. But, hey, as long as we have co-ed military, that’s what counts, right?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.