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A great loss. I will always treasure this CAS exchange...

On Neutered and Neutering

by Mia T and Edward Zehr (EZ)

With all the neutered talk of late
I thought y'all would appreciate
a relevant Shakespearean conversation
with EZ, a clinton chronicler Elizabethan.

[I had just asked the playwright if he had writer's block.]

EZ:
Think that thy bard hath now MacJeff forsaken?
In that would'st thou be verily mistaken.
Mayhap thou hast impatiently forgot
That facts comprise the essence of the plot.

MIA T:
Methinks thy bard hath schemes forsaken.
Mayhap thou art verily mistaken.
Plots comprise the essence of the facts.
Forsake the contrariwise artifacts.

EZ:
Gadzooks, could'st be thy bard is put to rout?
'Twould seem his veriest words are turned about.
Could'st show whereby effect doth flow from cause,
Would'st then be due a round of brisk applause.

Perhaps I could this point of view adopt,
For was not Bill by Hillary thus bopped
In like wise as MacJeff, upon the head,
And with a lamp, just as thy bard hath said?

Thus are the facts revealed for all to see:
Thy bard did make good use of ESP.
Contrariwise, the White House read my serial,
And sought to make good use of the material.

MIA T:
Thy bard's "effect doth flow from cause" linearity
And 'twould seem thy veriest good use of oracularity
'Twere not the nature of the plots I pricked thy bard to adopt
Withal Bill, like wise as MacJeff, upon the head was bopped.

Methought the plots thou would'st use sprung not o' telepathy.
Didst thou never hear the most traitorously corrupted conspiracy?
Brutus's heart wrapp'd in Hillaryous hide.
Interns and China suckling the impotent fool Cheapside.

What more paying play than a corrupted plot untainted
With thrice times two naked villains feinted?
Thou art arm'd that hath thy crook'd schemers straight.
Cudgel thy brains no more, the clinton plots are great.

EZ:
A point well made, experience vicarious
Was grounded in events utmost Hillaryous.
Betruth, the president sustained concussion
Ere I had even started the discussion.

But, lest thy bard be seen to make retreat,
The second bop was truly a repeat.
In consequence, I need no psychic hotline
To reconstruct an oft repeated plotline.

Now, as regards the wretched Cheapside brat,
And turmoil his concupiscence begat,
Need'st have no fear regards unfolding strife
O'er these events, for Art must copy Life.

MIA T:
Eureka! (Not Gadzooks!)
Though I have neither wit, nor words, nor playbooks
Thy bard this simpleminded poster avoidth plagiarize.
(Withal thy bard's own baseborn tendency contrariwise.)

Now, as regards the wretched Cheapside brat,
And turmoil his concupiscence begat,
Methinks MacJeff's crook'd feelpolitik, the lasix death, his solipsistic sex
Thou must put in cold blood'd cardiovascular context.

The brain deviseth laws for the blood,
but the brain 'tself is ne'er understood.
The King's crook'dness flows from limp circulation.
Methinks the solution is swift amputation.

EZ:
Thou place thy versifier in a quandary,
Redoubling thy most sharp-edged entendre.
The gist of they intent can I but gape on.
Dost thou propose the prez be made a capon?

In blood caught up these wretches play their role,
But this must not become Le Grand Guignol.
Lest those of delicate mien be made to faint,
'Twere better I should exercise restraint.

Mind you, Act I, scene 4 drips the odd bit of gore here and there.

MIA T:
Thy bard's excessive predilection metaphorical
confuseth redoubled sharp-edged entendre with one blunt oracle.

Forsooth, thy bard surely knowth,
Phallus on eunuch can't growth.
Plucking capon from hen's an impossibility,
Unless the cluck's hermaphroditic Hillary.