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Urban Legend Haiku
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Posted on 01/17/2002 4:50:52 AM PST by LN2Campy
Haiku...Urban Legends -- two intermittently occuring topics on this esteemed forum. Why not combine them??
What's this on mirror?
"WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF AIDS!"
One night stand of DEATH!!
It's strange to awaken
In a bathtub full of ice.
HEY - where's my kidney!?!
"Speed trap" I flash them
As a helpful motorist
Only to get shot!!
OK, folks, knock yourselves out!!
TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: students
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To: Slyfox
Wind roars in my ears
The heat burns, the noise deafens
The mesa grows large.
To: f.Christian
A rabbit you say
Was it the Easter Bunny
Or a dead mongoose.
To: fish hawk; uglybiker
Silly syllables
Who cares how it sounds anyway?
Get me out of here!
153
posted on
01/17/2002 10:31:13 AM PST
by
Neets
To: VRWCmember
I bow to your wit.
Unmatched haiku I have seen.
Humbled by genius.
154
posted on
01/17/2002 10:33:18 AM PST
by
Grit
To: LN2Campy
Cuddly Fido
Rejects Friskies. Of course,
The Mexican rat.
155
posted on
01/17/2002 10:34:04 AM PST
by
Gumlegs
To: Reply 491
Don't get tinfoil hat
Go to K Mart before crash
Buy some tin foil pants.
(or Martha Stewart Iron Pants)
To: CheneyChick
Urban-Haiku #2
=========
Smoking bananas,
Zap Fifi carefully, else
Pup no more frisky.
-bwteim
157
posted on
01/17/2002 10:36:11 AM PST
by
bwteim
To: fish hawk
Money grows on trees...
the liberals rape-destroy the productive---
to breed like rats!
To: fish hawk
One can get obsessed with Haiku. It's starting to effect my work. This happened on the job just the other day: This is a stickup
Put all the money in the bag
Please don't call police!!!
Gee, Fish Hawk, questions --
Present position problems?
A new line of work?
(Look at me. I am now posting conversations in Haiku.)
159
posted on
01/17/2002 10:39:14 AM PST
by
Slyfox
To: fish hawk
Yeah, well, Haiku is creeping into my after work life. As I told the bartender yesterday:
I've had a rough day
Don't stop refilling until
I'd do Hillary
To: Freemyland
Very funny I give you a giant LOL.
To: Slyfox
Perhaps fish hawk should
Go legit with his talents
and run for Congress
To: gridlock
You forgot the title:SPLAT
Wind roars in my ears
The heat burns, the noise deafens
The mesa grows large.
There, that's better.
163
posted on
01/17/2002 10:43:13 AM PST
by
Slyfox
To: fish hawk;OneidaM
You're not invited
You'd look ugly in a dress
Stay in Hawaii
To: LN2Campy
Past that happened not,
See, he's only fifty-nine,
Alzheimers has hit.
To: SarahW
They took all I had
Except for film, and toothbrush
One week later: DOH!!
To: Freemyland
Carter--Clinton/gore...
architects of the millenium---
big hole in your head!
To: Freemyland
Freemylands idea
But I wont run for Congress
Applied IRS.
To: uglybiker
This has been fun...but
Got to go to Post Office
Your ass is bookmarked!!!~~{;^D
To: coloradan
Weenie hooks to right,
Only intern knows for sure.
First Lady, not even.
To: fish hawk
Chelsea almost kill'd
Whilst jogging nine-eleven
Bush tax cut on mind.
To: LN2Campy
Wedding Bells ring
Trip to the tanning parlor
Cooked from the inside!
172
posted on
01/17/2002 11:01:05 AM PST
by
noone
To: LN2Campy
So many haiku--
What a bunch of gundeckers;
Ought to be working!!
To: noone
Mom'll fix those nits
Kerosene them damn suckers
My Marlboro -- WHOOOOOSH
To: noone
Procreation device...
no defenses-trickery---
reality is relentless!
To: LN2Campy
O Eddie Haskell
Rumored to be Johnnie Wadd
But small in the pants
176
posted on
01/17/2002 11:10:15 AM PST
by
Jhensy
To: Jhensy
How long before...
monica blubber beauty---
is put back to sleep!
To: f.Christian
Mrs. Condit calls...
you answer the phone---
surely you will die!
To: uglybiker; oneidam; dubyaismypresident; constitution day; vwrcmember; Students
5, 7 & 5
She heard the haiku calling
Work? What's work? I FReep.
To: f.Christian
Germ warfare...
testing grounds Florida---
this won't backfire?
To: noone
Poor seven year old!
Cancer, horrible illness!
Wants to get postcards.
181
posted on
01/17/2002 11:32:12 AM PST
by
noone
To: noone
Athiest O'Hair
In Court with the government
No Christian TV!
182
posted on
01/17/2002 11:37:14 AM PST
by
noone
To: f.Christian
Protections racket...
We need a hit MAN---
bull--janthrax has balls!
To: f.Christian
Komoto dragons...
Mama--papa--baby lizzards---
one bite-kiss--so long!
To: ErnBatavia
Monica is mad
Hold her at the East Gate, please.
Eleanor inside.
To: f.Christian
Read Darwin Awards
laugh out loud at idiots
I'll live forever
To: VRWCmember
Sheer brilliance
To: Slyfox
Searing course of flame,
Roars away with sonic boom.
Distant "puff" on mesa.
To: gridlock
whale explodes
large chunks of mammalian protein fly
All-State buys Cadillac
To: fish hawk
You bit off my face
Bad lizards! Bad lizards! Bad!
I'm now lizard poo
To: ValerieUSA
Vampire liberals...
one ride in the pimp mobile---
knuckles-knees touch ground!
To: f.Christian
f. Christian Haikus
3-6-4 syllables--huh?
What up wit dat, yo?
To: chookter
I'm counting fingers,
Suddenly, the lights go out!
Time to go home, Dude!
To: RikaStrom; uglybiker
Freeping on the job
What else is there to do here?
Freep, and freep again.
194
posted on
01/17/2002 1:05:00 PM PST
by
Neets
To: chookter
Batman goes,"pow","bam"
Onomatopoeia
Buddy just goes,"splat".
To: LN2Campy
Headless corpse passes
On motorcycle, next lane
(Flying sheet metal)
To: gridlock
Andromeda's glow
Trevelled for two million years
To twinkle my eye.
To: Grampa Dave
No more fishing tales?
They have gone to the rivers
Flys more fun than words.
To: fish hawk
You blew it, fish hawk
Onomatopoeia gots
just six syllables
To: chookter
When I was a kid and made a bad face my mom used to say,"watch out or your face will stay that way". Well:
Talking in Haikus
Can become a bad habit
People are staring.
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