Skip to comments.I Donít Want to Date a Republican!
Posted on 03/23/2012 7:43:19 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
As a lifelong Democrat, I never thought I would be in this place. I never thought I would have to confront this dreaded unforeseen fear - the terror that is for me, dating a Republican. I dont even know very many Republicans. But it turns out, Im not alone. Outside of Washington D.C., the entire country is pretty segregated when it comes to political parties. According to dating website, seven out of ten people are in a relationship with someone of the same political persuasion. I grew up knowing very few Republicans and the rare ones I did know got made fun behind their backs, be it children or adults. I know there were some Republicans at my college because there was a College Republicans group on campus but this was the Bushy era and the conservatives who were smart enough to get into my university were too smart to be vocal defenders of the Dick Cheney puppet show that was the aughts. Ive been living in Los Angeles ever since in the type of place where at the moment President Obama was pronounced the winner of his race, we threw open our windows and whooped and shrieked out into the streets till an impromptu parade erupted and bars served free drinks. I cried. Ive worked for the Democratic Party, interned for a Democratic Congressman and Senator. And even though I went to a more conservative law school, there were enough liberals on campus that if you included the faculty, we could flock together so that I rarely interacted with those others who met with our derision.
So when I tell you I never thought I would date a Republican, its not because I really contemplated it and made a specific decision. Its because as long as I didnt drive to Orange County, my chances of actually running into one felt slim to none. We live in a birds-of-a-feather type of country. So how did I get to here? How did I come to date a man who told me he liked a lot of Mitt Romneys ideas and that he thought John Kerry wasnt really a war hero and that cap and trade is a terrible system. At first I didnt think it would be a big issue. I fell in love with someone who has many similar interests and a big generous heart and when he told me he was an Independent I thought that was just something moderate Democrats said when being pretentious about how non-conformist they are. I didnt realize I was dating someone who would spend every single Tuesday night glued to Wolf Blitzers analysis of another Republican primary. And to be frank, at this point, its making me freak out. I get mad at him just thinking about our past political discussions. I cant date a Republican! What was I thinking? What if I have little Republican babies?
Naturally, he doesnt think its a big deal. He keeps saying we can always find common ground. But I find myself angry with him for things that I expect to take for granted. He admitted to me that the word liberal for him had a bad connotation and that the word conservative did not. Its hard to blame him when this is a common phenomena in our country now so that only 20% of the population identifies as liberal while 40% is willing to identify as conservative. I tell him this is a direct result of the vitriol that Fox News and Rush Limbough and Glen Beck have injected into our discourse and he shouldnt buy into their demonizing of the left. But for my boyfriend, liberal means big government inefficiency. Im normally a calm person, but when he said this, I was close to flipping out. How could he buy into all that? Hes a smart person, he reads reputable news sources. And yet, I continually find myself mad at him for buying into conservative propaganda.
Everyone always points to Mary Matalin and James Carville as shining examples of a couple with different political beliefs and a stable marriage. But honestly, have you seen them bicker on tv? I love watching them but I dont want to fight like that in my home. I want my home to be a place of tranquility and calm and little social justice fighters playing pin your favorite president on the blue donkey.
Another burgeoning concern is that Im starting to feel like I always have to watch what I say. Yes, I know there are many intelligent Republicans out there and if the party was made up of just David Frums and Christopher Buckleys or even Mitt Romneys, theyd be a reasonable moderate party that I have an intellectual disagreement with and there wouldnt be anything to make fun of. But for now, there are a lot of crazy extremist kooks running the Republican party and when you get into Santorum territory and Palin country, I want the freedom to openly mock and deride in a forum where I dont have to worry about offending someone. Is that so wrong? Im sick of back-peddling every time I accidentally call them teabaggers.
Months ago, we got to talking about Ron Paul, or rather, my boyfriend got to telling me all about him. Although, we dont disagree that much on social issues, we disagree quite a bit about how influential social issues should be when it comes to casting a ballot, so we started to really get into it. At one point, I said that certain individual rights and liberties should be the most important issue and I was disappointed in my boyfriend because he was willing to forgo those liberties in order to make a buck. He was offended and hurt. Admittedly, I went too far and I believe he is compassionate for those less fortunate and I know he doesnt think hes sacrificing civil rights for money. But I was making an impassioned argument and this is how liberals talk when were amongst friends. To stay in my relationship, I must resolve myself somewhat to being more careful in my language now when talking about fiscal conservatives but in so doing, is that the best decision for a healthy relationship? No one wants to have to walk on eggshells around their partner.
Last week, I went over to my boyfriends to watch the HBO docudrama Game Change about Palins Vice Presidential bid over some wine and take-out. When it was over, I felt bad for John McCain, but outraged at all the doltish hicks who were venerating this ignorant backwards woman who reveled in her lack of knowledge. My boyfriend on the other hand, said he felt bad for her.
How can you feel bad for her? I was shocked. Why is it always the Republican party that nominates idiots? Joe the Plumber, Christine ODonnell. Democrats would never allow someone who didnt understand what the fed was to run for city councilman let alone the Vice-Presidency.
How much do you really know about what the Fed does? He shot back.
I almost lost it. In that moment, he was impugning my knowledge and at the same time defending Sarah Palin. I was livid. How can I build my life with someone who defends Sarah Palin and thinks liberal is a dirty word? We went back and forth for a while with me spouting off economic knowledge and him keeping my rhetoric in check. But I went to bed angry that night.
I know were not supposed to try to change our significant others, but I cant help but hope that I might be able to make a tried and true blue Democrat out of him. Its worked somewhat so far, as Ive been able to convince him that John Kerry really was a war hero and that Mitt Romney has backtracked on climate change. And maybe I am better off calling them teapartyers and aside from adjusting interest rates I dont really know that much about the Fed. Congress recently passed the first Bi-partisan piece of legislation in years so if they can do it, surely two people who love each other and share many of the same values can find common ground as well. Now, if I could only get him to start watching Bill Maher with me
I honestly wondered if this was a parody, but then I also recalled a DUmmie FUnnies column with a woman (Sarah?) who went on a similar rant about her Republican boyfriend. This woman obviously needs to ditch her boyfriend because she obviously has some deep disdain for his beliefs. Her goal at this point seems to be to change him into a liberal. Why doesn’t she just dump him and move on.
The brown bag better not have eyeholes.
She’s one reason I would never marry a Jewish liberal, and I’m Jewish.
Such a YENTA, she is. Turn a bagel into wood, she could.
God, if we were the Chosen People, why did you include people like her? Chosen means “sane”.
Can we go ahead and just revolt again. I’ll make you a deal liberals... you keep all the counties that vote democrat and we keep the ones the vote republican. Good luck making that work.
A VC Hero.
Photograph of John Kerry meeting with Comrade Do Muoi, General Secretary of the Communist Party of Vietnam, in Vietnam. Photo displayed in the War Remnants Museum (formerly the \'War Crimes Museum\') in Saigon. The June 2, 2004
“I didnt realize I was dating someone who would spend every single Tuesday night glued to Wolf Blitzers analysis of another Republican primary.”
“Its worked somewhat so far, as Ive been able to convince him that John Kerry really was a war hero”
Don’t worry, he’s *not* a Republican.
“I want the freedom to openly mock and deride in a forum where I dont have to worry about offending someone.”
Don’t worry, you’re *not* a Democrat.
“Modern Orthodox” Jews who are politically conservative, from my experience, are virtually the only sociological group that as a whole understands just how nutty the left wingers have gotten. They're often connected to more liberal Jewish circles by family and social ties, and often live in left-wing areas where it is a serious challenge to maintain a religiously observant lifestyle.
I believe the neo-conservative movement draws much of its influence from the fact that its Jewish leadership understands from firsthand personal experience just how dangerous the enemy is, and is highly motivated to fight back.
By contrast, most non-Jewish political conservatives either 1) live in rural or Southern areas where local Democrats are right-wing radicals compared to the dominant national Democratic Party leadership, or 2) have socially isolated themselves from their community's liberal influences via Christian schools, the homeschooling movement, church groups, and/or close-knit family ties. The result is many of us truly don't realize how bad the liberals are because we don't deal with them very often on a personal level.
I've had Jewish people in the Bible Belt tell me they'd much rather live in a city full of Gentiles who love Israel and respect Jewish religious observances than live in a nuthouse place like LA or much of NYC where there are lots of Jews but most live much worse lives than the Gentiles.
Incidentally, there seem to be more and more articles cropping up online (which make their merry way to Free Republic, Instapundit and the like) in which thirty-ish to thirty-five-ish year old women lament the lack of quality liberal men while holding out personal standards for prerequisites for a man in order to be *considered* for anything more than FWB / booty call status, which would only be appropriate if they had the star appeal of Sarah Palin and the body of a young Christy Turlington.
But as a rule they have *neither* ; and the frenzied panic and rejection of men is the sound of reality swimming up to bite them on the *ss (cue the theme from Jaws) as they realize that
a) their looks are rapidly declining (even as their breasts sag and wrinkles start to appear)
b) their biological clock is ticking
c) men are less and less willing to commit to marriage in a society geared towards the self-indulgent narcissistic solipsistic fantasies of upper-middle-class womyn; and certainly not someone who has engaged in nearly as many one-night-stands as they have (the more so as the womyn loudly *DEMAND* that their "number" is irrelevant but that they have the absolute right to complete and utter fidelity from their targeted man, "just in case" they want to get serious); and ABSOLUTELY not so they can act as a combination sperm-donor-cum-ATM for someone who wants a child as the latest accessory to "make her life complete" now that they have realized climbing the corporate latter in combat against any number of other screeching harpies (some of whom are YOUNGER than them and even *better* at sleeping their way to the top, dammit!) will never be as fulfilling as promised by the lesbian communists and gay men who wrote the preferred "We can have it ALL!" script designed to break apart America's nuclear families as a prelude to Communist destruction of the country.
It's fun to watch, too, as they loudly declaim their SUPERIORITY to almost all men and ALL conservatives.
Except we conservatives are almost all happily married; some for decades; and are raising our children not to be little emotional black holes.
“By contrast, most non-Jewish political conservatives either 1) live in rural or Southern areas where local Democrats are right-wing radicals compared to the dominant national Democratic Party leadership,”
Umm . . . no.
“or 2) have socially isolated themselves from their community’s liberal influences via Christian schools, the homeschooling movement, church groups, and/or close-knit family ties. The result is many of us truly don’t realize how bad the liberals are because we don’t deal with them very often on a personal level.”
Umm . . . no. Sorry. “Non-Jewish political conservatives” are not all just the religious-right homeschoolers of the world. We see liberals up close and personal every single day. There are plenty of liberals in rural settings.
Now you are showing your own isolation from most Conservatives in this country by your own narrow concept of Republicanism and Conservatism.
Sorry, but no.
The internal tension of that suppressed realization, against the suppression of the ticking biological clock, as she realizes that both her virginity (long gone) and her youth (which are the things which make single women most attractive as mates), mean that she may have to settle for a man "way beneath her" in order to have a man in her life, is a sight to behold.
It's happening a LOT; and it will (I believe) reach a positive crescendo in about 12 or 15 years; it remains to be seen if these self-hallowed, self-hollowed-out harpies will be the shock troops of reclaiming traditional values ("Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.")
He had good reason to, you DOLT.
How the hell does she have the same degree that I have?
There's a mostly Christian nation of 95 million individuals where the vast majority of ladies (without much baggage) would jump at the chance to marry an American and move here or live there. Know which one it is?
I remember at 8 years old laughing at the guy who spilled coffee on himself. "I want some butts!" Even then, I knew it just wasn't right.
Out of intellectual curiosity, though, what is it?
The Republic of the Philippines. Singapore, Vietnam, Thailand and many other countries have millions of females who also find American men desirable, as I understand it. This society has basically ruined many of our women.
He probably gave in just to get you to shut up, sweetheart.
I live in Massachusetts, and I had kind of a funny experience at work back in 2008. There are more conservatives up here than one might think, though using a secret handshake or something wouldn’t seem out of place.
I have notices some interesting behavior by liberals...many liberal people up here who like and respect you assume that you are liberal, same as they are. So you can hear what they are really thinking sometimes, and I find it both discouraging and hilarious. I don’t talk politics in the workplace unless someone asks me, then I have no problem telling them.
I worked on a project with a very liberal woman, in a very liberal workplace, in a very liberal state. Now, this woman is a liberal, but one of the most intelligent and talented people I have ever known. She and I could have intelligent political discourse. She would let me make my case, and would actually listen. We worked side by side for the better part of the decade, implementing two major computer systems together.
On our last project back in 2008 before she retired, she began creating test patients for the systems, usually a dozen or two. She used themes when making up names, and this time it was states. “VIRGINIA, VALERIE”, “COLORADO, CONNIE”, “MINNESOTA, MARY” and so on.
With a grin, she told me she named one of them ALASKA, SARAH, an obvious reference to the candidate in the election that year.
We were doing some testing, and one of our engineers (a wiry sixty-something Irishwoman with VERY liberal views) came over to discuss an issue with us. When she referenced the test patient “ALASKA, SARAH” her face took on a look of disgust, and she said: “I am sick of hearing this woman’s name (Palin) and I am sick of seeing it. I wish this were all over so we wouldn’t have to listen to her or hear about her anymore!”
I looked at her and calmly said: “I like her (Palin). I enjoy hearing from and about her. I hope we see her name a lot in the next four years.”
Her mouth dropped open, the closed and opened soundlessly as she stared at me in shock. She stuttered “He...He’s...He’s one of THEM!”
I nearly fell on the floor. She wasn’t being dramatic, sarcastic or humorous...she was really shocked. I could read the thought balloon over her head: “But...he seemed so...nice, so...normal!”