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Are Homeschoolers really similar to Islamic Terrorists?
Creative Loafing,Charlotte ^ | BY QUINN COTTON

Posted on 05/11/2004 8:39:01 AM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross

Homeschool Horror Divinely ordained education, taught by martyrs

BY QUINN COTTON

You know how there are terrorist cells embedded throughout the world? Well, in my neighborhood we have numerous "homeschool" cells humming in the cul-de-sacs. They're almost as scary as the terrorist ones in some ways -- and they definitely have some traits in common with them.

When we first moved to Charlotte, the houses next to us, behind us, and diagonally across the street all contained children who mysteriously never seemed to leave home, and mothers with glazed expressions on their faces. The whole set-up of moms stuck with their school-age kids 24/7 gave me the willies, and that was before I even had one of my own.

Middle class areas seem to be magnets for little suburban schoolhouses. Even though there must be homeschooling pockets all over Charlotte, somehow I don't picture your basic Ballantyne babe risking breaking a nail on a chalkboard in the bonus room, or skipping a tennis set for an educational excursion to the sewage plant. Likewise, I doubt many Belmont moms miss a beat packing those kids off to public school. It's the middle class that gets suckered into the myth that mothers and older children can survive being together all day without somebody being strangled. The true "haves" and "have-nots" know better.

What's scary is that a lot of the homeschooling faithful are as fueled by a fanatical, religion-based belief in their mission as Islamist terrorists, and seem to be just about as brainwashed. Sometimes I even wonder if they're a manufactured race along the lines of the Stepford wives in Ira Levin's book, but assembled in fundamentalist Christian churches instead of family basements. Like the Stepford robots, they're programmed to fulfill their husbands' fantasies, only in this case it's their role as the Ultimate Selfless Mothers.

Other times I feel like the heroine in another famous horror story by Levin, Rosemary's Baby, at that chilling moment when she puts together the anagram "All of Them Witches" and realizes it refers to her seemingly harmless neighbors. Some of the homeschooling moms (HMs) are kind of witch-y, with the uncut hair and the long skirts because pants on females are unholy, but the description that really applies to this coven is "All of Them Zealots."

They're not only terrorist-like in their conviction that their calling is divinely ordained, homeschoolers also often have a broad martyr streak. Rather than suicide bombings, though, they commit "suicide book-learning," sacrificing their own lives to teach their kids. I've known one or two to get pregnant as an excuse to get out of homeschooling hell, but the true martyrs keep right on instructing, with the newest little pupil glued to their breast.

Beyond a certain age, children and mothers are just not meant to be isolated together. It's unnatural. Keeping the kids at home might have worked back in the Stone Age, but cave women would've at least had each other for company, and I bet they made damn sure the youngsters stayed off in a group together while they grunted gossip and drank their Cro-Magnon coffee.

Kids need their teachers to be adults, separate from their mothers. That way they can idolize or despise them apart from a parent figure, and don't have to depend on one person for everything they require. Did a parent of yours try to teach you to drive? How'd that go? 'Nuff said.

All young animals must be immersed in a mass of their peers so they can figure out what it means to function as a member of the larger group. Believe me, I'm aware that homeschooling families get their children together, since occasionally there'll be a flood of them from next door scrambling over the fence to play uninvited in our yard, but being with maybe a dozen other kids once in a while doesn't do the trick. It takes serious numbers for developing humans to catch on to the nuances of accepted behavior and to have a chance to make enough friends. I just can't see homeschooling providing adequate socialization.

One of my neighboring HMs taught her two kids through eighth grade, then threw them to the wolves in public high school. The boy ended up dropping out and doing jail time, and the girl got pregnant.

Yes, I know that homeschooled kids have won high-profile academic contests, but for every homeschooler who aces a spelling bee, there's some poor child being "instructed" by a parent who's barely literate herself. Teachers in the public school system are required to have certification and college degrees, yet any yahoo can force their kids to stay home as long as they pass an annual test.

What's really scary about homeschooling is what it can do to the sanity of a mother deluded into thinking it's her Christian duty. No woman was ever meant to be trapped in a house all day with children old enough to spell "homicide."

So if new neighbors move in next door and you notice that the kids never leave for school and mom wears her hair in two braids, be afraid. Be very afraid


TOPICS: Culture/Society; US: North Carolina
KEYWORDS: barf; education; homeschool; homeschoolparanoia; homeschoolterrorism; northcarolina; socalledjournalism
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To: Bikers4Bush
I agree. I like the idea of being able to homeschool my kids. Of course, neither my wife or I would be doing the the teaching. I would have to hire private tutors. I'll participate in the field trips and sports side though. :)
21 posted on 05/11/2004 8:58:31 AM PDT by FreeEnterprise2004
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To: Straight Vermonter
I agree more with the article than with your assumptions
22 posted on 05/11/2004 8:58:51 AM PDT by fml ( You can twist perception, reality won't budge. -RUSH)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
Sounds like Ms. Cotton is feeling a little convicted. Homeschooling Moms are great mothers and they make people like Quinn Cotton look and feel bad and we can't have that, now can we!

I can hear her now...

"Look at that Mother, she is waaaay too committed to the nurturing and education of her children!!! Oh and look how that teenager actually respects her parents and, I kid you not, enjoys spending time with them. That's just not right!! Somebody needs to put a stop to this! Why, it's....it's....it's....terrorism, that's what it is!"

23 posted on 05/11/2004 9:00:17 AM PDT by Pete
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To: fml
How sad for your children.
24 posted on 05/11/2004 9:01:16 AM PDT by Straight Vermonter (06/07/04 - 1000 days since 09/11/01)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
This is one of the oddest articles that I've ever read. Very little of what the author said made any sense to me.
25 posted on 05/11/2004 9:01:46 AM PDT by usadave
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To: fml
Even people who attend public school typically develop only a handful of close relationships - if any - from that experience. Home-schooled kids still have relationships in the neighborhood, and of course are exposed to the general culture in a variety of ways.
26 posted on 05/11/2004 9:01:51 AM PDT by Steve_Seattle ("Above all, shake your bum at Burton.")
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To: Tax-chick
Thanks, I missed that.
27 posted on 05/11/2004 9:02:18 AM PDT by EggsAckley (........"I looked out and saw rifles everywhere. That's when I felt safe." .........)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
Charlotte Mecklenburg schools have been in a chaotic condition for more than 30 years. As the first district to reap the 'rewards' of forced busing to one which changes its plans every year, parents are faced with a gambler's chance against the house on whether their children get an education. Some kids ride the buses for three hours a day. Others are in overcrowded schools where the quality of instruction varies greatly.

Home schooling, parochial schools and private schools are very popular here. Some parents leave the county to find more stability in surrounding districts. And this author berates homeschoolers? Sheesh.
28 posted on 05/11/2004 9:02:18 AM PDT by DeFault User
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To: Straight Vermonter
They will be more open minded than many here, don't pity them.
29 posted on 05/11/2004 9:04:05 AM PDT by fml ( You can twist perception, reality won't budge. -RUSH)
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To: fml
Do you agree that Parents who homeschool their children are similar to people who torture children and murder them?

BTW- Islamic terrorists murder children,in cold blood, for going to school and for learning to read and write.

30 posted on 05/11/2004 9:04:07 AM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross (Every heart beats true for the red,white and blue)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
a lot of the homeschooling faithful are as fueled by a fanatical, religion-based belief in their mission as Islamist terrorists, and seem to be just about as brainwashed.

And the evidence for this sweeping statement is....

31 posted on 05/11/2004 9:05:32 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Pete
I recently bought a video of the 1960's-1970's rock group, The Band, and drummer Levon Helm made a telling point: "Back then, everybody said you should hate your parents and never trust anyone over 30, and a lot of other things that didn't make a whole lot of sense to us, so we just steered clear of all that." The author of this article seems to be the kind of person that Helm was talking about, the kind who assumes that estrangement from one's parents is the normal course of things.
32 posted on 05/11/2004 9:06:06 AM PDT by Steve_Seattle ("Above all, shake your bum at Burton.")
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
Some of the homeschooling moms (HMs) are kind of witch-y, with the uncut hair and the long skirts

oooh!
NO!
NO!
NO!
Not the LONG SKIRTS!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..............................

33 posted on 05/11/2004 9:06:56 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: fml
And what does "open-minded" mean? Having no values of ones own?
34 posted on 05/11/2004 9:08:19 AM PDT by Steve_Seattle ("Above all, shake your bum at Burton.")
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
children and mothers are just not meant to be isolated together. It's unnatural.

Yeah, better to put 'em on that "natural" school bus, and close 'em up for 6 "natural" hours. I'm buying it.... (not)

35 posted on 05/11/2004 9:09:35 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
I have a comment, or two, or three.

First, I thought this was satire until I read through the whole thing.

Second, I am giving serious consideration to homeschooling, or enrolling my youngest kids in a charter school. They are behind grade level, and even though we're moving to a different area, my youngest no longer likes school. Too bad...she still needs to master the core subjects.

Third, I may not be up to this task, however I've seen work come back graded with obvious mistakes on the paper missed by the teacher. I think I can do a little better than that.

Fourth, Should Ms. Butler procreate, you can bet she'll have that kid in private school once she takes a look at public schools from a personal perspective.
36 posted on 05/11/2004 9:10:30 AM PDT by TheSpottedOwl (Torrance Ca....land of the flying monkeys)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
Of course not, and neither does the author.

They're not only terrorist-like in their conviction that their calling is divinely ordained, homeschoolers also often have a broad martyr streak. Rather than suicide bombings, though, they commit "suicide book-learning," sacrificing their own lives to teach their kids.

The author is being silly, but it is an opinion, just as the opinion that anyone sending their children to public school do not love their children as much as HM.

37 posted on 05/11/2004 9:10:54 AM PDT by fml ( You can twist perception, reality won't budge. -RUSH)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
This pathetically ignorant slug has obviously not heard that homeschooled kids not only excel academically vs. their public-schooled comrades, but are doing likewise in the workplace. They're the most well-adjusted, productive members of their generation.

MM
38 posted on 05/11/2004 9:11:10 AM PDT by MississippiMan
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
I just can't see homeschooling providing adequate socialization.

Have you ever tried?
Have you done ANYTHING beyond your imagination?

39 posted on 05/11/2004 9:11:41 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
More unintentional irony from the "tolerance" crowd.

And such scintillating evidence of intelligence. Rather than picking up one of the dozens of studies about homeschooling, and its effect on socialization and education, he manufactures fantasies on the basis of his own uninformed bias.

What's more, doesn't this guy have an editor? He essentially just used a public column to incite suspiscion and hatred of homeschooling families - while failing to produce a single case that backs up his panicky claims. That's legally actionable stuff, and sloppy research all piled in one big steamy mess.

Just goes to show the totalitarian impulse of the leftists obliviously marches along.

40 posted on 05/11/2004 9:12:28 AM PDT by Snuffington
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