We're pretty sure he knows what "Dear God almighty, what's that smell?" means.
I'll bet. He probably hears that at least twice a day!
Purchase a large steak. Cook it so that your dog knows it is for you. Wait until the dog departs the room. Drop steak on ground. Then say, "Damn, there goes my steak. Sigh, I sure hate throwing out all this meat." If your canine doesn't appear within 3 seconds, he's illiterate. If he appears between .5 and 3 seconds, he's literate. If he appears in under one second, he's literate and precognitive. If your steak never actually hits the floor, your dog is a Republican.