Skip to comments.When One (baby) Is Enough (ultimate in cold selfishness)
Posted on 07/18/2004 11:39:14 AM PDT by dennisw
July 18, 2004 LIVES When One Is Enough By AMY RICHARDS as told to AMY BARRETT
I grew up in a working-class family in Pennsylvania not knowing my father. I have never missed not having him. I firmly believe that, but for much of my life I felt that what I probably would have gained was economic security and with that societal security. Growing up with a single mother, I was always buying into the myth that I was going to be seduced in the back of a pickup truck and become pregnant when I was 16. I had friends when I was in school who were helping to rear nieces and nephews, because their siblings, who were not much older, were having babies. I had friends from all over the class spectrum: I saw the nieces and nephews on the one hand and country-club memberships and station wagons on the other. I felt I was in the middle. I had this fear: What would it take for me to just slip?
Now I'm 34. My boyfriend, Peter, and I have been together three years. I'm old enough to presume that I wasn't going to have an easy time becoming pregnant. I was tired of being on the pill, because it made me moody. Before I went off it, Peter and I talked about what would happen if I became pregnant, and we both agreed that we would have the child.
I found out I was having triplets when I went to my obstetrician. The doctor had just finished telling me I was going to have a low-risk pregnancy. She turned on the sonogram machine. There was a long pause, then she said, ''Are you sure you didn't take fertility drugs?'' I said, ''I'm positive.'' Peter and I were very shocked when she said there were three. ''You know, this changes everything,'' she said. ''You'll have to see a specialist.''
My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?
I looked at Peter and asked the doctor: ''Is it possible to get rid of one of them? Or two of them?'' The obstetrician wasn't an expert in selective reduction, but she knew that with a shot of potassium chloride you could eliminate one or more.
Having felt physically fine up to this point, I got on the subway afterward, and all of a sudden, I felt ill. I didn't want to eat anything. What I was going through seemed like a very unnatural experience. On the subway, Peter asked, ''Shouldn't we consider having triplets?'' And I had this adverse reaction: ''This is why they say it's the woman's choice, because you think I could just carry triplets. That's easy for you to say, but I'd have to give up my life.'' Not only would I have to be on bed rest at 20 weeks, I wouldn't be able to fly after 15. I was already at eight weeks. When I found out about the triplets, I felt like: It's not the back of a pickup at 16, but now I'm going to have to move to Staten Island. I'll never leave my house because I'll have to care for these children. I'll have to start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise. Even in my moments of thinking about having three, I don't think that deep down I was ever considering it.
The specialist called me back at 10 p.m. I had just finished watching a Boston Pops concert at Symphony Hall. As everybody burst into applause, I watched my cellphone vibrating, grabbed it and ran into the lobby. He told me that he does a detailed sonogram before doing a selective reduction to see if one fetus appears to be struggling. The procedure involves a shot of potassium chloride to the heart of the fetus. There are a lot more complications when a woman carries multiples. And so, from the doctor's perspective, it's a matter of trying to save the woman this trauma. After I talked to the specialist, I told Peter, ''That's what I'm going to do.'' He replied, ''What we're going to do.'' He respected what I was going through, but at a certain point, he felt that this was a decision we were making. I agreed.
When we saw the specialist, we found out that I was carrying identical twins and a stand alone. My doctors thought the stand alone was three days older. There was something psychologically comforting about that, since I wanted to have just one. Before the procedure, I was focused on relaxing. But Peter was staring at the sonogram screen thinking: Oh, my gosh, there are three heartbeats. I can't believe we're about to make two disappear. The doctor came in, and then Peter was asked to leave. I said, ''Can Peter stay?'' The doctor said no. I know Peter was offended by that.
Two days after the procedure, smells no longer set me off and I no longer wanted to eat nothing but sour-apple gum. I went on to have a pretty seamless pregnancy. But I had a recurring feeling that this was going to come back and haunt me. Was I going to have a stillbirth or miscarry late in my pregnancy?
I had a boy, and everything is fine. But thinking about becoming pregnant again is terrifying. Am I going to have quintuplets? I would do the same thing if I had triplets again, but if I had twins, I would probably have twins. Then again, I don't know.
It's a power trip. She did it "because she could," and wanted to.
Well, you two have a good time and for heaven's sake, stay out of trouble. LOL
The boy has his grin already. That could be trouble.
All I know is that successful people do not live in fifth-floor walk-ups in the East Village when they're in their mid-30s. I had a better place than that at the age of 23, and I was by no means rolling in cash or prestige.
If Amy Richards is what qualifies as a "successful" feminist these days, then we're succeeding beyond our wildest dreams in taking the country back from the hard left.
Exactly! Today's "feminist movement" is anything but feminine. Instead, it's all about turning women into men.
Her sole rationale was "I'm too important to take time off for this". She probably could have even gotten financial assistance from some charities to offset any lost wages.
It is a life, not a choice.
This is nothing but a CYA Policy (Cover Your Ass). He wants to be able to stand before a court down the road and justify murdering 2 healthy children. "Could have caused complications". "Mental stress". "Seemed to be struggling". "She WANTED it done; I was only following orders."
Saying it doesn't make it so. His 2 brothers are classified as "rotting tissue" someplace.
Word searches are much easier now that we are in the "information age". She'd better tell him before he finds this on the internet himself.
I could easily see a grade school student searching online article for mentions of his family/relatives for some project. Even if he confines his search to New York newspapers, he'll find this match.
She should have remained anonymous in her article to hide her crime.
What will he say when he learns that his 2 other brothers are dead because mom didn't want to stay in bed?
If the follows the leftist path..
it will be nominated and recieve a prize of some form.
then it will be revealed as a total fabrication.
I've already posted the "medical" excuses that the doctor would use to justify his actions. She kept the one who was up to 3 days older. They could have been struggling, she could have had complications, it could have given her mental stress worrying about it...
By the pro-aborts position, this would be classified as a "difficult pregnancy".
Sickening. And I work in Iraq.
She lived in NYC. I know a few women who would have made excellent nannies. In fact, she could have sponsored an au pair or guest worker nanny. Baby nurses are in ample supply. All there is to this is that she is a cold hearted bitch.
I can't say who will get custody but I could actually see him apologizing to his son at some future point in time.
The quotes in the article seem to indicate that abortion was not his first answer and that he was aware that these kids would be murdered.
Heartless bitch. She doesn't deserve the title "mother". God have mercy on her soul.
The babies were an inconvenience.........as is the norm for abortions. "Health of the mother" my ass.........it's ALL about convenience.
Margaret Sanger was also a proponent of forced sterilization.
What a sad story. I have 3 children. Each of them was, and is, a precious and unique individual. They are my pride and joy, and now the oldest has compounded that joy by giving me two beautiful grandbabies.
They are worth incomparably more than the work and occasional annoyance that has gone into raising them. I cannot imagine denying this to oneself.
On her 100th birthday, my grandmother was asked by a reporter what the best thing was about to living to that great age. At first, her old-fashioned Irish wit came out and she said, "you can get way with nearly anything when people know you're that old," then she became more reflective and said, "It's really getting to see your children grow old themselves."
Grammy is 103 now, btw, and doing fine. I am very lucky to still have a grandparent at my age (55) and I hope I can do as well in the years to come.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.