Skip to comments.Rather's Blather
Posted on 11/05/2004 4:33:22 PM PST by Positive
Brit Hume: "Finally tonight, for the benefit of those viewers who might have chosen this network over CBS News on Election night, here's a sample of what you missed:"
Dan: "This Presidential race has been...you know, crackling like a hickory fire for at least the last hour and a half - two hours..."
Dan to Lockhurt: "I know that you'd Rather walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit..."
Dan: "This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex and it has all night long..."
Dan:"George Bush is sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a delta cotton field..."
Dan: "he's got his back to the wall, his shirt tail's on fire and the bill collector is at the door...
Dan: "The situation in Ohio would give an aspirin a headache..."
Dan: "...don't know if you've been tuning out or put the baby to bed or you went to pop the cap on an adult or otherwise beverage...
Dan: (re: Iowa) "John Kerry has a...his lead is as thin as turnip soup...
Dan to Bob Shifter: "As they say; 'if a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a hand gun..."
I thank Dan Rather for my tagline.
In Dan Rather's case, Alzheimer's would be an improvement.
what about the famous rather quote, I think an honest person can lie about any number of things!
Apparently he lives by that one.
Yeah, that one sits there like a spotted dog under a fire wagon.
I don't know if it's a good thing thing or a bad thing, but most of those similes make some sense to me. Except for the frog/sidepocket/gun one.
that one absolutely eludes me. Maybe another adult beverage and it'll make more sense
IF the brain dead president of CBS News had named Roger Mudd as the anchor rather than blather, CBS would still be a premier news organization.
"What goes around, comes around."
I cannot stand that man...........but those were kind of funny.
I remember John Stewart (back when he was still watchable) commenting that the people of Iowa "whipped Howard Dean like a three-legged mule" after Dean's defeat in the Iowa Caucus. I like that better.
This must have been the compilation clip originally aired on jimmy kimmel live. That was hilarious.
They also showed on JKL a clip of brit making 'sounder' noises like he was getting tired of their constant use during the night.
Here is a list of them all for election night.
Do you hear that knocking...President Bush's re-election is at the door."
"This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex."
"His lead is as thin as turnip soup."
"This race is humming along like Ray Charles."
"The presidential race is swinging like Count Basie."
"This race is hotter than the Devil's anvil."
"Ohio becomes like a sauna for the two candidates. All they can do is wait and sweat."
"One's reminded of that old saying, 'Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek.'"
"This situation in Ohio would give an aspirin a headache.''
"Bush is sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a cotton field."
"What Kerry needs at this point is the equivalent of Tom Brady coming off the bench to rescue him. But it's still too close to call."
"No question now that Kerry's rapidly reaching the point where he's got his back to the wall, his shirttails on fire and the bill collector's at the door."
"John Kerry needs something on the order of a 55 or 60-yard field goal to win this."
(To Joe Lockhart) "I know that you'd rather walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit than consider the possibility that John Kerry would lose Ohio."
(To Joe Lockhart) "What about Michigan? It's been out there for a long time. Is that making your fingernails sweat?"
"This presidential race has been crackling like a hickory fire for at least the last hour and a half."
"Let's see where it goes from here. Round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows."
"We keep talking about Ohio if you've been tuning in and out or you put the baby to bed or you went to pop the cap on an adult, or otherwise, beverage..."
"We used to say if a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun."
"No one is saying that George Bush is not going to win the election, and if you had to bet the double-wide, you'd have to bet that he'd win."
"In southern states they beat him like a rented mule."
"If you try to read the tea leaves before the cup is done you can get yourself burned."
"We need Billy Crystal to Analyze This"
"You know that old song, 'it's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely' for President Bush in most areas of the country."
"We had a slight hitch in our giddy up, but we corrected that."
"In some ways, George Bush's lead is as thin as November ice."
"Put on a cup of coffee, this race isn't going to be over for a while."
"You look at the map and say it's all a big Bush victory. But this is one time when your Mother is right, looks can be deceiving."
"John Kerry's moon has just moved behind a cloud, as far as Florida is concerned."
On Kerry's chances: "To use a metaphor, he's gotta draw to an inside straight. But hey, sometimes you get lucky and hit that straight."
"Is it like a swan, with every feather above the water settled, but under the water paddling like crazy?"
"What you have here is the football equivalent of a fourth quarter rally by Kerry."
The election is "closer than Lassie and Timmy"
"Keep in mind they are teetotally meetmortally convinced they have Ohio won."
"Vice President Dick Cheney would not have flown all the way out there (Hawaii) overnight and put that lei around his neck and sort of hula-danced, if you will, unless he thought there was a chance of carrying that out there."
"President Bush smiling there with his family. He's laid down aces so far."
"You can almost hear the GOP (deep breathing sound). We're getting within maybe smelling distance."
"We don't know what to do. We don't know whether to wind a watch or bark at the moon."
On how the results are affecting strategists: "It's one reason so many of them drink a lot."
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), on being congratulated on victory by Rather: "Thanks Dan, I always believe you." Rather: "Now, ladies and gentleman, if you believe that, you'll believe rocks can grow."
Wanna bet he forged the folksy witicisms too?
THIS is why I was so sorry Rather pulled the forged document business.
In 2000, the later it got, the stranger Dan got. It was like watching a hillbilly giving news. And I thought it was funnier 'n a hyena on laughing gas.
I really wanted to watch him this time.
But after the forged papers scandals, there was no way.
See, before that, Rather was just a partisan Democrat newscaster. We all knew that. So what? Don Henley's a liberal nutjob, but I still like his music. Rather had his opinion, but I figured he was honest.
Which is why when the forged papers thing broke, I figure that Rather would be madder 'n a hound dog with rabies about having been duped. I figured he was going to "out" his source and go on a scorched earth campaign against the folks who duped him.
When he didn't, it became clear that he knew that the documents were forgeries, and was trying to dupe US.
And you just can't give your support to that sort of thing by watching it.
Too bad. I would have been laughing my head off all night watching Hillbilly News telecast the election.
hey All, just to remind people he made that quote in regards to slick willie!!
I think it would be a great skit for Saturday Night Live...
I'd bet Howard would call him "Dandy Dan"....
Very well done!
Rather is as useless as a hind row of tits on a boar pig
Dan BLather is so intelligent that his IQ, squared, is a minus number.
I always liked the expression...."hotter'n high school love."
Everyone used to say of the old western movie actor, Walter Brennan, "he has a hitch in his gitalong."
I may go nuts trying to figure out the frog with side arm thing,
Dan Rather is trying to make his legacy his phony "Homespun Texas Sayin's," but his legacy is the forged documents.
SCHADENFREUDE is my middle name.
How about this one: If Dan Rather sinks any lower he'll be urinating on his head.
Here's where I read the Ratherisms I told you about.
Off to the 'fridge....in search of some...enlightenment.
I didn't catch much of Blather, but one that I did catch that was not on your list was a hokey saying, but instead of using 'perfect' he used 'pluperfect' (a tense) absolutely inappropriately. Did anyone else catch that one?
The only person worse than him for running his mouth is Bob Costas; we had to turn the sound down during the Olympic to keep from throwing up. Hopefully, BC will not change over to being a news anchor. If you think DR is bad.....
Didn't see my favorite,came Rather early and I can't recall what it was in reference to.
"This is more complicated than the wiring diagram for some
hydroelectric dam dynamo."
I've always been partial to "Run down and stomped like a one-legged rodeo clown" but to each his own.
I don't know what to say but, thanks for my new tagline Danny!
Rather is a hypocrite, a fool, and since he writes his own stuff, a hack.
Dan is a lying blowhard RAT shill, but I will him give this. He is very funny.
"Now respectfully, when you start talking about a liberal agenda and all the, quote, 'liberal bias' in the media, I quite frankly, and I say this respectfully but candidly to you, I don't know what you're talking about." Dan Rather to talk radio host Mike Rosen of KOA Denver, November 28, 1995.
"Ohio becomes like a sauna for the two candidates. All they can do is wait and sweat."--Dan RATher, Election Night 2004
"In southern states they beat him like a rented mule."--Dan RATher, Elction NIght 2004
"In southern states they beat him like a rented mule."--Dan RATher, Election Night 2004
And who could ever forget...
"they're fake but accurate"
Here's more on Dan Blather.
I saw that picture a while ago and thought it was a photo-shopped Dan.... You SURE it's not fake???
100% sure. Was, and may still be out there via google. Horrible, isn't it? Nothing Danny can do to the good citizens of the US, can balance that. God's way of evening things out perhaps?