Iowahawk: Blue State Blues as Coastal Parents Battle Invasion of Dollywood Values

Iowahawk blog | 11/12/04 | David Burge

[SkyPilot]

Where did we go wrong?

[hilaryrhymeswithrich]

pinging me

[Kay Syrah]

This is brilliant, and will now take its place beside "Peace Elusive in the Middle West." I can't stop laughing.

[Seamus Mc Gillicuddy]

This is all good. BBQ is way better that foi gras any day!

Yeah, but when I used to be a line cook, I made some serious fois gras that was seared, and served on top of a duck breast. My mouth still waters, thinking about it. Of course it's always better, if you shot the duck yourself.

[Fierce Allegiance]

My gawd, I think that is my aunt Nina with her life partner Lisa.

My sick aunt decided after raising 5 great kids and 30+ years of marriage that she was a lezzy!. Marin County can do that to you, I guess!

[Gritty]

GRRReat writing!

[Gumption]

"We try hard to engage all of our students in fun, healthy activities like Progressive Eco-Action March and Rage Against Intolerance Week,"

That was funnier than a jun-bug in a ... ummm, on a ... ummm. It was funny ok. (sorry, I'm from a blue state)

[eureka!]

bump for brilliance...

[Congressman Billybob]

Iowa,

I was only half way through this and enjoying it tremendously, when I realized I had to jump to the end and send you this note. You, sir, are not merely a fine writer. You are a national treasure with a keen eye for the culture and the language.

This is not merely excellent. It rises all the way to perfect writing. Strunk and White are smiling down from that Editor's Desk in the sky on your efforts this day.

Congressman Billybob

Click for latest, "A New Stoplight in Town"

[PfromHoGro]

Forwarded en-mass. Thanks a bunch.

"used to be all Ikea". ROFLMAO

[madball]

Too funny. This I'm sending to my liberal, but Southern, wife.

[CFW]

It's spreading.

Today, a young female law student came into my office and told me she went to a country music concert last night. She said it was great! She danced until her feet hurt. (But, she couldn't remember what country music singer it was).

She said she couldn't believe she let some of her friends talk her into going, but she couldn't wait to go again.

[Lurker]

One small mistake. Marine Basic Training doesn't happen at Camp Pendleton. It's at MCRD in San Diego.

Other than that, brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

"I tolt him that journalism is important, but the world needs plumbers too."

"After the toilet backed up, I think he got my point."

Waaaay too funny.

L

[Tribune7]

ping It appears those cracks are widening. In one recent three-week period, fourteen high school students in Portland, Oregon were suspended for distributing pork rinds; a Burlington, Vermont high school was briefly closed for decontamination after janitors found a bible hidden in a restroom; and forty-six undergraduate coeds at Swarthmore were expelled for staging clandestine Mary Kay cosmetics parties.

"We became suspicious after several heavily made-up students arrived at Katha Pollitt lecture in a pink Cadillacs," says Swarthmore Dean of Students Geraldine Marcus.

[SkyPilot]

"Life Partner" is a term that makes me laugh.

[tnlibertarian]

That is absolutely hi-larious. Beautifully written satire. One thing, without trying to sound critical, is it Bobby Ray or Billy Ray? You call him each in different places.

[Buggman]

Here's a work of genius for you to enjoy, Steve.

[ArrogantBustard]

McCormack tried an intervention with friends from the Anti-war community, but to no avail. In October, Billy Ray packed up his Monte Carlo and left for basic training at Camp Pendleton.

"I have no son," she says in a barely audible whisper.

Buck up, Ellen! At least he doesn't have the mullet anymore!

Bwahahahahahaha!!!

[Grit]

BUMP

[Mike Fieschko]

"They digitally remastered all the original Jerry Clower albums."

Oh.My.God that's funny.