One of my favorite Christmas memories is my sister-in-law's boyfriend presenting her with a car vacuum that plugs into the cigarette lighter. Her response:
"This is a joke, right?"
Needless to say, she has since married another, somewhat more astute guy.
Hey, I got dumped for getting a woman that exact gift.
Coincidence...?
See, I don't get it that women react that way to a useful gift. BTW, I am female, a wife of almost thirty years, and to the same wonderful, gift-challenged guy. Some years ago he seriously presented me with an auto emergency kit, and I accepted it as a token of his concern for my safety. Since then we have agreed not to give each other gifts, and he buys himself electronic computer accessories and I buy myself occasional, inexpensive pieces of jewelry.
Why demand a manly man for a husband and then want him to act like a woman?
My Dad told me that onetime he bought - I'm not making this up - an electric frying pan for Mom, as the old one had worn out. This was a Very Bad Idea (tm) as he found out.
Guys, rule #1 is, if you are in posession of a woman of the high maintenance variety, any gift shall not be a _replacement_, and most especially, any item related to or possibly construed as drudgery or work. Examples: Vacuum Cleaner - Bad. Pearl Necklace - Good. Ironing Board and Iron - Bad, Fur Coat - Good. 64 piece Sears Tool Kit w/ ratcheting screwdriver set - Bad, 64 piece Giarhdelli Chocolate assortment - Good.
You get the idea. Better to hear it here, than from you-know-who.