Skip to comments.James Lileks: A Drink That Implies Flavor
Posted on 06/28/2005 6:53:32 PM PDT by quidnunc
Fiends. Fiends! Not even Pottery Barn has had the gall to mail the first Early Late Summer 05 catalog. Well, let's restore our sense of perspective with a true summer topic: summer drinks. I'm not going to do this feature-section style and trot out some fancy recipe that requires mashed mangoes, truffle juice, Spanish sea salt for the rim and Peruvian tequila pressed from Inca mummies. I'm talking about the stuff we buy at Target because it's three bucks for a 12-pack.
Usually I stock up on lemonade and cola, and that's it. But on my last trip I saw an entirely new variant on the Coca-Cola paradigm: a black-and-white can called Coke ZERO. At first, you're wary; what if the can's empty? Can't say they didn't warn you. Then you're happy: finally, something that puts Pepsi One in its place. Hah! You thought you were so cool, with your one-calorie drink, but little did you know that the eggheads at Coke had managed to eliminate even the final, stubborn calorie, the one that always hung on the side of the can and wouldn't let go. You can almost imagine the moment they perfected the formula, and the lone calorie squirted out of the test tube like a watermelon seed expelled by a yokel: ptui! Then they beat it with their shoes. Evil, nasty calorie! You die now!
It's a mystery to me why people drink regular soda, frankly; if you're supposed to consume no more than 2,500 calories a day, it doesn't make sense to take half of them in the form of high-fructose corn syrup. You might as well just implant those jiggly liter bottles in your belly and take the stuff through the stomach lining. Of course, not everyone likes diet soda, because:
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Indeed, but that won't stop the kvetchers.
"It's a mystery to me why people drink regular soda, frankly; if you're supposed to consume no more than 2,500 calories a day, it doesn't make sense to take half of them in the form of high-fructose corn syrup. You might as well just implant those jiggly liter bottles in your belly and take the stuff through the stomach lining."
Amen! If you are a woman, your daily calorie intake should be closer to 1,500 if you aren't that active. If you want to lose some weight, try going cold turkey on anything containing high-fructose corn syrup, and go easy on the cane sugar as well.
Can you actually still get cane sugar in anything anymore?
Sweet tea (here in the South). I drink far too much of it, but at least it doesn't contain corn syrup. For some reason, that is supposed to be worse for the body than cane sugar.
Ever drink Jolt? "All the sugar and twice the caffeine."
You obviously are not aware of my diet rules:
A diet coke and a Milky Way balances each other out, no calories.
Broken Oreos contain no calories, they leak out of the broken ends. Eat them with no fear.
Always put your scale on the "NEGATILE". That is the tile in the bathroom that the scale reads one pound less than any other tile.
I had my first Coke Zero yesterday, and hadn't been clued in ahead of time about what it was supposed to taste like. I was suprised to find out that it tasted exactly like regular Coke to me. It doesn't quite taste exactly like regular Coke once it warms up though.
I drink Sam's Choice diet cola. The taste is about the same as any other diet cola. But the important thing is that it is only fifty cents for a two liter bottle.
I can't see spending more than that for flavored water.
I saw Coke Zero at the store and couldn't figure what was the difference between it and Diet Coke. I figured it was a marketing tactic to get people who normally avoid diet sodas to try it. Personally, I haven't tried it. I do drink both Pepsi and Coke, but I also drink Diet Coke, especially the caffeine free type if I know I going to sleep soon. I don't want sugar or caffeine in me when I'm trying to sleep. I avoid Diet Pepsi because it's gross.
I drink Diet Coke and recently tried Diet Coke with Splenda. Thought it would be better, but it was vile. To some people, it probably tastes more like regular Coke, but to me, it tasted way too sweet, like chugging Coke syrup. It might be pretty good with half the sweetener, but people are so used to getting too much sugar and too much salt, if you dial down either one, they complain there's no flavor.
Do they still sell Coke C2?
The small intestine can absorb only so much corn syrup. The rest is converted into deadly gases that pollute the environment and contribute to global warming.
I'm dreadfully sorry, but I just had to say that the juxtaposition of your topic and your screen name made me chuckle. :-)
Ah, well. In the grand scheme of things, I've lived several decades with this injustice, and I suppose I'll survive a few more.
It's part of a random string of words I got in a spam e-mail, but it almost seems to make sense.