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Parentally Incorrect: Drunk People Like My Daughter; Is That Wrong?
Voice of San Diego ^ | September 24, 2005 | Dave Moye

Posted on 09/24/2005 5:44:27 PM PDT by Rodney King

My daughter is barely 2-and-a-half years old. That's hardly enough time to make assumptions about her life or personality but I can already tell one thing about her: Drunks and boozehounds really like her a lot.

I don't know how soon after she was born that her appeal to alcoholics first appeared. Actually, I didn't notice at first because most of the people drinking alcohol around her during her first few months were family and friends, so their interest in my child didn't seem booze-influenced.

We were living in University Heights at the time and I used to walk her down Park Boulevard, past bars and restaurants, and I noticed that many of the folks who used to make baby faces or funny noises at my daughter were at the restaurants that served wine or beer.

Funny thing is, the sober people basically ignored my child.

As much as any parent wants their child to be "special" (but not too special), I'm not sure I understand why my daughter is so charismatic to tipsy people. But I first began to understand her power over boozehounds last year on Maui, at a wine and food festival. We couldn't get a babysitter so we brought Alex to the wine and food fest figuring she would sleep through most of it. The Hawaiian gods were on our side because our "pooh bear" stayed asleep while my wife and I went to Khalua Pig heaven, taking turns drinking samples of vino with gourmet vittles.

My wife and I did get slightly buzzed but not as much those adults who didn't bring their children to an adult event. When Alex was waking up (and I was close to falling asleep), a fellow attendee started looking at her and saying how beautiful she was.

Then she started doing a hula version of "Somewhere over the Rainbow," complete with hand gestures, and my then 1-year-old couldn't blink.

Then the happy hula dancer got a revelation. "Your daughter is so spiritual. She didn't blink once while I was singing."

That isn't the only experience. I live in a La Mesa condo complex and spent many afternoons with my daughter swimming in the pool. Many of our neighbors were also there, often with a box of Franzia wine.

The panic-prone might view the combination of drunken neighbors, a 2-year-old and me as potentially dangerous but I found advantages to have tipsy neighbors.

For instance, the wine-soaked neighbors were very generous about lending their pool toys and one woozy woman -- the "Earth Mother" -- was willing to watch my daughter do the same pool trick over and over and over again and be suitably impressed each time.

I expect my daughter's popularity will rise to new heights this fall. She has a whole new batch of skills that are sure to worm their way into any drinker's heart.

Because the Padres are going to be in the playoffs, chances are, I'll take my family to a viewing party. Well, my daughter can say, "Go Padres!" Trust me, drunks love it. She also says, "Go Chargers!" and I'm working on, "Go L.T."

I am also planning for Christmas parties by teaching her to sing, "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer'" and recite the Nativity speech spoken by Linus in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special.

Granted, not every one of her bits is perfect for every drunk audience but I think she'll be way ahead of her schoolmates in terms of impressing social drinkers.

The big upside to turning Alex into the drunk's favorite kid has paid off in dividends. We have lots of free time thanks to the number of single and soused people who meet our child at a party and offer to baby-sit.

To some, my beliefs that my daughter should be well-versed in dealing with drunks seems counterintuitive but hear me out. Alcohol plays a big part in a baby's life -- mostly in conception -- and maybe kids should learn at a young age not just to say no to booze but also to recognize signs of inebriation.

As for me, I am avoiding booze mostly so when I am with Alex, she knows how a sober person acts when excited and she'll learn the difference between beer compliments and the real thing.

David Moye is a La Mesa-based writer. He craved a dirty vodka martini while writing this story.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: drunk; notfunny
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To: Rodney King

Boy is this guy self absorbed if he thinks anyone would really be interested in reading his self centered ramblings. Who really cares.


51 posted on 09/24/2005 7:06:00 PM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: Rodney King

Why would someone expose their kids to all these drunks?

And the reason these drunks seem take to this child is there are usually very few children at events where booze is freely flowing.

I think these people need to learn how to hire a babysitter.....


52 posted on 09/24/2005 7:06:10 PM PDT by Peace will be here soon (Liberal definition of looting: " Self-help Humanitarian Aid.")
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To: Rodney King
When my daughter was 2 she used to go to the little fridge and ask me if I wanted a green one or a brown one.

Such a tragedy, I didn't discover Bitbuerger 'till she was grown up. I still have a grudge against the dude(ok though he may have been) to whom I had to explain that she still had seven baby teeth to lose yet. People with penises just don't understand.

53 posted on 09/24/2005 7:07:50 PM PDT by Yeti
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To: Peace will be here soon

NO NO NO

He gets his babysitters in bars,,we cannot encourage him to hire one. No telling what would happen, he might have to write a funny column about his child being roasted by a drunken babysitter who thought the kid was precious.


54 posted on 09/24/2005 7:07:57 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: bobbdobbs

Well, I have a pretty good sense of humor and I didn't laugh.


55 posted on 09/24/2005 7:10:50 PM PDT by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR) [there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
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To: cajungirl

Oh, those are good. It's basically a vodka martini but you add olive juice (green) to finish it.


56 posted on 09/24/2005 7:11:22 PM PDT by ShadowDancer (Stupid people make my brain sad.)
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To: nuconvert

How about the old one: That was so funny that I forgot to laugh.


57 posted on 09/24/2005 7:13:40 PM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: ShadowDancer

Yummy!


58 posted on 09/24/2005 7:14:36 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: cajungirl
Yep. I'm not much of a liquor drinker anymore, just pretty much beer and wine, but those things are tasty.

Guess I shouldn't mention that when I try to adopt, huh?

59 posted on 09/24/2005 7:18:05 PM PDT by ShadowDancer (Stupid people make my brain sad.)
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Comment #60 Removed by Moderator

To: Rodney King
David Moye is a La Mesa-based writer. He craved a dirty vodka martini while writing this story.

Me thinks this fellow was sh!tfaced by the time he finished his "brilliant" essay about boozers and coming to that asinine statement; can believe it got printed!

61 posted on 09/24/2005 7:20:24 PM PDT by danmar ("No person is so grand or wise or perfect as to be the master of another person." Karl Hess)
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To: cajungirl

"What is a dirty martini?"


A martini that spills, but you're so drunk that you aren't able to implement the five second rule before licking it off the bar???


62 posted on 09/24/2005 7:23:56 PM PDT by Hand em their arse
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To: Rodney King

You can be sure David Moye voted for Clinton.


63 posted on 09/24/2005 7:24:14 PM PDT by Allan
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To: Yeti

I have to admit that I am a "sack of shit plagiarist!".
I saw that pic here on FR and knew there were threads where it simply had to be.

My apologies to the originator, but imitiation, and outright plagiarism are the purest form of flattery!


64 posted on 09/24/2005 7:24:18 PM PDT by NonLinear (He's dead, Jim)
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To: Rodney King

It could be much worse, buddy. Look at the positive side...at least your daughter's not attracting liberals.


65 posted on 09/24/2005 7:31:23 PM PDT by RavenATB (Patton was right...)
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To: Rodney King
People are taking this article way too seriously.

I think the guy noticed that drunk people are friendly to his kid, and wrote a tongue-in-cheek goofy article about that observation.

66 posted on 09/24/2005 7:34:27 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: Rodney King
"Drunk People Like My Daughter; Is That Wrong?"

No, but hanging around drunks so much with your daughter is.
67 posted on 09/24/2005 7:35:22 PM PDT by DocRock (Osama said, "We love death, the U.S. loves life, that is the main difference between us.")
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To: Rodney King
David Moye is a La Mesa-based writer. He craved a dirty vodka martini while writing this story.

Oh, for crying out loud. The answer is obvious - he's a drunk and so are all his friends.

68 posted on 09/24/2005 7:37:26 PM PDT by Fido969 ("And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32).)
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To: Hand em their arse

Hahah!


69 posted on 09/24/2005 7:37:39 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: Rodney King

This is one of the stranges articles I've ever read.


70 posted on 09/24/2005 7:39:09 PM PDT by HairOfTheDog (Join the Hobbit Hole Troop Support - http://freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net/)
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To: cajungirl

Yours: "Conservatives drink to excess too."
Mine: I never said they didn't. I agree with you.


Yours: "Everyone thinks his child is unique and special, even pubs."

Mine: I disagree that every one thinks his child is "special" in the sense of the case being discussed in this thread: that a child can be specially talented from some mysterious aspect of birth, spiritually unblinking. I assume what you mean by special is " my lovely child, flesh of my flesh." Thats not the type of special we are discussing in this thread. Those who think their child is mysteriously gifted tend to think all they have to do is let destiny take its course, rather than communicate the wisdom of one's family lineage to one's child, so that child has a chance to be truly special. This delineates one difference among many between liberal and conservative thinking on child rearing.

Any bets on how dad voted in the last federal election, that is if he indeed did vote? I would bet he voted a full Democratic ticket, or some other non-Republican alternative, unless he simply lives his life one way and manages to think another, an unlikely proposition.

I see the "special kids" alongside the "non-special" kids all the time, and I can asure you as a teacher that the later cope with the world much more genuinely, accurately and effectively, unconcerned about Utopian alternative
life styles, wherein that mysterious something is what matters most.


71 posted on 09/24/2005 7:42:00 PM PDT by Candor7 (Into Liberal Flatulence Goes the Hope of the West)
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To: Candor7

I don't know for sure but think you read more into what he said than he said.

I do think some children, babies, are like flypaper. People just like them, they have a good smile and want to relate to strangers. Some babies are just dumb looking and you pass them right by. And some babies are ugly as sin and you avert your eyes.

And some babies I have seen have a magnetic quality, and I think that is inborn. Where it leads I don't know. But I suspect they continue attracting people and have an easy time of it in life. That can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the parents. It is not particularly gifted or magical, just a trait.


72 posted on 09/24/2005 7:53:46 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: All

It's obvious that the reason the sober people paid no attention to his kid was that they could still see.


73 posted on 09/24/2005 8:04:51 PM PDT by kitkat ("We're not going to let anybody frighten us from our great love of freedom." GWB, 7/22/05))
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To: cajungirl

I do believe that liberals and conservatives tend to rear children very differently. This concerns me because the political and social polarization of our people is becoming intergenerationally institutionalized. I have to deal with the dynamic every day inside a highly structured high school environment.

I guess the article struck a nerve and you have convinced me to chill,thanks!

The last thing I would want for my daughter is to develop a continuing mutual attraction with those who must alter their perception of the world through the nectar of the grape, which I too ocassionally enjoy. Perhaps Bacchus is very much alive and well, and
we should propitiate him by offering up our special children, just like in ancient times, to the temple in which he dwells. Those temples may be all around us and we may not even know it?


74 posted on 09/24/2005 8:09:47 PM PDT by Candor7 (Into Liberal Flatulence Goes the Hope of the West)
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To: kitkat

Yours: "It's obvious that the reason the sober people paid no attention to his kid was that they could still see."


Ping!


75 posted on 09/24/2005 8:11:53 PM PDT by Candor7 (Into Liberal Flatulence Goes the Hope of the West)
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To: stylin19a

Yes this child is for sure in trouble, because it's parents keep taking it to places where the booze hounds hang out!


76 posted on 09/24/2005 8:41:02 PM PDT by tessalu
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To: ShadowDancer
I never even got the point he was trying to make. Did you?

Yep, he probably had a deadline, didn't know what to write and this idea popped in his head. He tried to make it funny and it just came out weird. To take him seriously, or psychoanalyze him, is to totally miss the point.

77 posted on 09/24/2005 9:11:46 PM PDT by Mind-numbed Robot (Not all that needs to be done needs to be done by the government.)
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To: All

78 posted on 09/25/2005 1:54:45 AM PDT by Cindy
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To: Rodney King

I'm sure she'll be a lot of fun when she grows up.

79 posted on 09/25/2005 3:01:36 AM PDT by Bon mots
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To: Rodney King

Please, somebody call Child Services, our author is exploiting his child to write bad prose.


80 posted on 09/25/2005 5:04:39 AM PDT by jocon307 (Sorry for my bad attitude)
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To: nuconvert

He sounds like an addict to me.


81 posted on 09/25/2005 8:19:24 AM PDT by sine_nomine (Protect the weakest of the weak - the unborn babies.)
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To: ladyinred

is this story for real???? and i agree, ladyinred did have the Leave it to Beaver household( i grew up with her) and i raised mine that way too( although i do think mine took it for granted LOL) if that story is true, how very sad for that child....


82 posted on 09/25/2005 10:33:43 AM PDT by JudiL ((Mom of two that are proudly serving our country))
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