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Together in Death: Funeral of Parents Murdered by Daughter's Boyfriend
Lancaster on line Sunday News ^ | 11/19/05 | Helen Colwell Adams

Posted on 11/20/2005 2:10:53 PM PST by Dr. Scarpetta

The funeral service was led by elders from Monterey Chapel in Leola, where the Bordens worshipped and where Mike Borden was an elder and Sunday school teacher.

None of the five children spoke during the service. They appeared drawn but composed, even near the end of two hours of greeting mourners.

The deaths of Mike and Cathy Borden were a tragedy.

But, Rex Trogden said Saturday, “I’d like to introduce you to the word ‘triumph.’ ”

A hard word to speak when standing on a stage behind two closed caskets, with five orphaned children in the front row, yet one, the Bordens’ friends said at their funeral service, that is integral to their lives and their faith.

“They risked their lives together,” Trogden, a pastor who knew the Bordens in Charlotte, N.C., said. “Mike and Cathy were willing not only to risk their lives but to lay down their lives.

“And they did so ... together.”

Before a gathering of at least 500 in Lancaster Bible College’s Good Shepherd Chapel, the Bordens, who were shot to death last Sunday, were memorialized in a funeral service with a strongly evangelistic tone.

That was intentional, Trogden said: The Bordens’ children knew their parents would want the gospel message to be proclaimed.

David Ludwig, the 18-year-old boyfriend of the Bordens’ 14-year-old daughter Kara, has been charged with the killings at the family’s Warwick Township home.

Kara Borden, wearing a light-colored sweater, sat with her four siblings during the funeral.

Afterward, the children and other family members attended a graveside service at Landis Valley Mennonite Cemetery.

Trogden referred to the funeral as a “homegoing to be with the Lord.”

“They loved you so much,” he said, speaking to the Borden children, “and cared for you so well, and prayed for you.”

Echoes of tragedy

Television cameras and still photographers were barred from the LBC campus Saturday, although reporters without cameras were permitted to attend; the funeral was open to the public.

Cameramen were sent to a “media area” at the far end of the Manheim Township campus.

One person who attended a Wednesday service for the Bordens at Monterey Chapel said friends had noted that the oldest son, James, was bringing his girlfriend home for Thanksgiving to meet his parents, and the second son, Justin, had recently returned from serving in Iraq.

The other two children, Katelyn, 15, and David, 11, were at home last Sunday morning when, according to police, David Ludwig pulled out a .40-caliber handgun and shot first Mike Borden and then Cathy.

Police have said Ludwig was summoned to the house after the Bordens discovered he had brought Kara home after what they thought was a sleepover at a friend’s house. The parents apparently disapproved of the relationship, at least partly because of the age difference.

Ludwig is charged with abducting Kara after the shootings, triggering the issuance of an Amber Alert. The two were finally caught in Indiana after Ludwig crashed his Volkswagen Jetta into a tree during a police pursuit.

Saturday, the funeral included only fleeting references to the tragedy.

“I see the compassion of Mike and Cathy in Kara,” said Bill Bradford, who delivered the message. “Kara was able to reach out to touch some of the most unlovely people.”

Focus on triumph

Instead, the Bordens’ friends talked about Mike and Cathy.

Trogden compared them to Aquila and Priscilla, a husband and wife mentioned in the New Testament. Three times they’re listed as Aquila and Priscilla and three times as Priscilla and Aquila.

“Equal billing,” Trogden said. “It’s that way, isn’t it? The two of them were together in everything.”

Mike was “a bit of a perfectionist,” said Bradford. “He wouldn’t preach a sermon until every I was dotted and every T was crossed.”

Cathy had the same perfectionist streak, Bradford said.

Both were “mighty warriors of prayer”: “If you were in Mike Borden’s Palm Pilot, you were prayed for.”

Mrs. Borden had a twin, Cindy. “Bookends,” Bradford said.

And, because they both spoke with Southern accents, “stereo bookends.”

Mike had a “wonderfully dry sense of humor,” Trogden said. One Christmas, Cathy wanted the biggest tree they could find to best display all the family ornaments. But the tree was so big that it had to be trimmed before it would fit into the house.

For Christmas, Mike gave Cathy a crystal snowman with an inscription: “Room for one more ornament.”

Mike Borden was vice president and general manager of the Digital Publishing Services Division of Cadmus Communications in Ephrata. Cathy Borden was a homemaker who home-schooled the three youngest children.

They dated in high school in Hannibal, Mo. Cathy earned a bachelor’s degree in special education and Mike an associate’s degree in graphic design, both from Northeast Missouri State University. They were married in 1977.

Both were 50 when they died.

Cathy Borden had been attending weekly Change of Pace Bible studies at Lancaster Alliance Church, sponsored by Friendship Foundation, since the family moved to Lancaster in 1996.

Dona Fisher, head of Friendship Foundation, said Thursday that Mrs. Borden was “just a joy. When she walked in, she was just so happy.”

The group offers a program for homeschoolers, so the three children accompanied their mother. Change of Pace participants told Fisher that Kara was “so much fun. The kids just loved her.”

Michael Borden was a “spiritual leader” in his home, Fisher said: “He confronted evil.

“... It’s a real loss for us.”

‘Not the end’

Most importantly, the Bordens’ friends said, both of them loved Jesus.

One Bible verse printed in Saturday’s program, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,” from the book of Joshua, was taken from a plaque in the Bordens’ home.

The Bordens went with Bradford to see “The Passion of the Christ” at the theater two years ago. “We all shared the same hanky,” Bradford remembered. Afterward, Cathy said, “It never dawned on me how much somebody was willing to do on my behalf.”

“It’s difficult for us to say goodbye,” Bradford said in his benediction. “It should be easy to look forward to a time when we can say, ‘Welcome home.’ ”

He quoted Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” and John 16:22, “Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.”

“This,” Rex Trogden said, “is not the end.”


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: daughterkilledparent; davidludwig; karabethborden; karaborden; ludwig
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To: Mike Darancette

Good way to put it. I felt like that about my H.S. boyfriend. Addicted.


21 posted on 11/20/2005 2:38:46 PM PST by bonfire (dwindler)
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To: Theresawithanh
John 14:

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.

22 posted on 11/20/2005 2:40:16 PM PST by Dr. Scarpetta
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To: Mike Darancette; bonfire

It's amazing how dramatic those teen episodes seemed so important to us at the time. Looking back, I can only shake my head at the drama.


23 posted on 11/20/2005 2:42:55 PM PST by Dr. Scarpetta
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To: Dr. Scarpetta

I just slammed doors. Our doors were metal so the whole house would shake. My mom still brings that up......


24 posted on 11/20/2005 2:46:39 PM PST by bonfire (dwindler)
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To: bonfire

I was a door slammer also and whenever I felt slighted I went to my room and stayed there.

I hear about it all the time too.

My kids on the other hand still like to get the last word in. I think I would prefer them slamming their bedroom doors and being quiet after doing so. LOL


25 posted on 11/20/2005 2:47:53 PM PST by alisasny
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To: Dr. Scarpetta
I have not heard mention of grandparents. I pray they have grandparents to help raise them, especially the 9 year old boy.

Somewhere I read that the mother had a surviving twin sister, no mention of parents.
The children looked like they are in shock. It may be days before they fully comprehend all that has happened.

Will be interesting to see how they handle they're sister.
I feel she was involved in this mess. Her raging hormones have changed her life forever and her poor judgement has set her on a path in life that will take unknown turns.
26 posted on 11/20/2005 2:48:28 PM PST by fabriclady
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To: Dr. Scarpetta

....I believe the other children will blame the Kara once reality sets in.


27 posted on 11/20/2005 2:48:38 PM PST by SweetCaroline (Texas Cowboys pain is gone and he is with Our Lord whom he Loved so much! Rejoice!)
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To: SweetCaroline

I've been thinking that very same thing the last few days.


28 posted on 11/20/2005 2:51:32 PM PST by bonfire (dwindler)
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To: Dr. Scarpetta

Your post #23 is exactly correct...when I look back on my teen years, I realize how much trouble I was to my parents...I guess I was 'boy crazy'...my dad was always hauling me into the house, and giving me a lecture as to why such and such a boy, was not welcome in our house, and not welcome to date me...Oh, I would get so mad, and just thought I was going to 'die'...I would get real dramatic, so much so, that my dad used to call me 'Sara Bernhardt', all the time...

But I got over my angst, as most teen-agers do...and I did not 'die', as I thought, but actually realized that my parents were doing what they believed was in my best interest, and most often, they were right...I had picked a 'bad boy', to go out with, I did not see that, my parents did, my parents put a stop to it, and I went on...

The thought of either me or my 'boyfriend', ever shooting my parents to death, just never would have entered our minds...

Thankfully, most teens during my time, my childrens time, and the teens of today, do not become so violent...teenaged angst, is just a part of growing up....its an experience that one can look at in retrospect and realize how silly we seemed at the time...unfortunately, in this current situation, this young man just did not handle his situation correctly, for whatever reason...

Our prayers should be with these children that have been orphaned and have suffered such an incredible loss...


29 posted on 11/20/2005 2:53:25 PM PST by andysandmikesmom
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To: Dr. Scarpetta
I feel especially bad for that fourteen year old girl. Fourteen year old's don't have the best judgment in general, concerning friends and especially concerning boyfriends.

Most of us have at least one point in our lives when we misjudged a person. Usually, it just ends up hurting us emotionally. We find out, we move on and we learn from it. No permanent harm done.

I'm sure being fourteen she was enthralled by the idea of an older boy taking interest in her. Justifiably so, her parent's were not thrilled about it. Trying to keep up with the older crowd she stays out all night, Her concerned parents are worried and when she comes home they hold her and him accountable. Like good parents.

No one, including her parents thought that her boyfriend was dangerous. He wouldn't have been in their home. I feel so sorry for her siblings, but I feel especially sorry for her.
30 posted on 11/20/2005 2:53:33 PM PST by LauraleeBraswell
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To: Dr. Scarpetta
Kara Borden, wearing a light-colored sweater, sat with her four siblings during the funeral.

She bears some responsibility and blame for her parents' murder. She brought the wolf to their door with her sin.

31 posted on 11/20/2005 2:56:40 PM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: alisasny; bonfire

Doorslamming must be a girl thing. I think it takes many decades for the mellowing to set in.


32 posted on 11/20/2005 2:57:54 PM PST by Dr. Scarpetta
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To: Dr. Scarpetta; 4woodenboats; 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub; abletruth; Accountable One; Aeronaut; ...
Prayer ping.


My prayers continue for the family and friends of Mike and Cathy Borden. God's comfort for their loss.  

Blessings,
trussell


If you want on/off my prayer ping list, please let me know. All requests happily honored.

33 posted on 11/20/2005 2:58:22 PM PST by trussell (Miss you TC)
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To: fabriclady
Her raging hormones have changed her life forever and her poor judgement has set her on a path in life that will take unknown turns.

When she finally matures, it will be hell to live with what happened.

34 posted on 11/20/2005 2:59:31 PM PST by Dr. Scarpetta
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To: Dr. Scarpetta

I am now known to throw things on occasion. Several dents in our walls when super angry.


35 posted on 11/20/2005 3:00:02 PM PST by alisasny
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To: andysandmikesmom

Just read your posts. My situation with my mother was similar. The boy I finally did decide to date seriously and then marry was someone my mom warned to stay away from me. I am glad he didn't listen. I wasnt even a bad kid but he was just such a good boy.

Sadly she passed away 2 years before we married but she did get to see how we adored one another and it makes me very happy that she knew him so well.


36 posted on 11/20/2005 3:02:58 PM PST by alisasny
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To: Dr. Scarpetta
You called it right, Doc. She was there.

I heard that they were so composed a tiny personal package of kleenex could have been passed around, and still have some left.

I don't get it..

sw

37 posted on 11/20/2005 3:05:17 PM PST by spectre (Spectre's wife)
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To: fabriclady
"I feel she was involved in this mess."

She was involved in being defiant which led to the slaughter of her parents. I just cant blame her for the slaughter with the knowledge we currently have.

38 posted on 11/20/2005 3:05:36 PM PST by alisasny
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To: andysandmikesmom
my dad was always hauling me into the house, and giving me a lecture as to why such and such a boy, was not welcome in our house, and not welcome to date me...

I remember fondy the time my dad came out to the driveway to get me out of the car where I was sitting with my date. May he rest in peace.

39 posted on 11/20/2005 3:09:39 PM PST by Dr. Scarpetta
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To: Hildy
....I think the girl went willingly.

If she went willingly why didn't she stay in the car when the killer went in for the food? Together they were more apt to be noticed.

Just a thought...

40 posted on 11/20/2005 3:10:56 PM PST by BARLF
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