Posted on 11/29/2005 6:01:20 PM PST by Nomorjer Kinov
When the Firm Foundation Worship Center got the call that a family of nine escaping Hurricane Katrina had arrived in Westminster needing a house, church members jumped into action.
"They came here with nothing," said Marge DiMaggio, the church's co-pastor.
As quickly as possible, church members made a house on church property look like a home.
When the Brown family left on Sunday, the DiMaggios were horrified to find the house in shambles.
"Hurricane hits Firm Foundation," said Marge DiMaggio.
While answering the call in September, church members' hearts were filled with compassion for the unknown family.
"We brought our pillows over," said Marge DiMaggio, so the family could sleep well the first night.
The church laid new carpet donated by Altieri Builders, redid the bathrooms, found appliances and even hung curtains to make the old-fashioned white-frame house welcoming to the family.
They bought clothes, assembled beds out of mattresses donated by the Westminster Rescue Mission and stocked the pantry with food.
The Browns paid no rent and no utilities for the house.
On Sunday, the DiMaggios entered the house after church, at about 1 p.m., said Marge DiMaggio's son, Brian DiMaggio. The Browns left during church services, between 11 and noon, he said.
A lamp was smashed on the floor, the lampshade stomped.
The screen door was torn off the hinges and flung onto the back deck.
Someone cut a hole in the trampoline that belonged to Joann DiMaggio's children.
Curtain rods were ripped from the wall and left bent and dangling from one screw.
Clothing, potato chip bags, soda cans, socks and empty bags were strewn throughout the house.
A hole was punched in a bathroom wall.
In another bathroom, dried toothpaste was smeared on the vanity, a capless toothpaste tube on the windowsill above.
A big, broken pink plastic car was abandoned on the hill outside the house.
In a dirty refrigerator upstairs, someone left a coffee mug with an inch or two layer of coffee sludge in the bottom.
Dirty dishes were stacked in the sink or on the counters.
But in perhaps the biggest insult, the words "MD Sucks" were emblazoned in black paint on the side of the home.
"When our eyes caught this, we all stood here and froze," Marge DiMaggio said.
Unhappy in Maryland
According to 42-year-old Keith Brown, who with his wife and children was halfway back to their home state of Louisiana, the property was not misused.
"We cleaned up as much as we could," he said.
He denied painting "MD Sucks" on the side of the house. His wife denied knowledge of any vandalism.
Yet Brown, whose family was referred to the church by Home Services Resources of Westminster, admitted to being unhappy during his stay here.
"We had a lot of problems with people about the house," he said.
The DiMaggios would come in and sneak around when the family was out, he said. The DiMaggios would tell them they needed to clean up this and that.
"Living in that environment and having someone watching over your shoulder wasn't worth crap," he said.
Marge and Joann DiMaggio were stunned at Brown's angry response to their generosity.
"The house was so fresh two months ago," said Marge DiMaggio. "We didn't check up on them," she said. "We didn't lord over them. We had no idea."
A few times early on they did ask that things be cleaned up, but that was only natural, she said.
Further, Brown said, the family was never provided with money he said the church promised to help them return home.
"If I wouldn't have done some under-the-table work ... I would never have the money to come home," Brown said.
All of this, he said, left a bad taste in his mouth.
They had to fight to keep items given to them, such as one of the home's two refrigerators and a washing machine, he said. The DiMaggios, who let the Browns have the items, said they had believed the appliances were donated to the house, not the family.
Brown said the DiMaggios, having heard a rumor the Browns were leaving, insulted the family by showing the house to another couple without the Browns' permission.
The DiMaggios had a right to show the house to prospective renters, Marge DiMaggio said. "Frankly, we didn't need permission to bring someone in."
The prospective renters said the house was trashed, but they did not see any vandalism, according to Brian DiMaggio.
The Browns never thanked the church for what it did, Marge DiMaggio said.
"I don't know why they would have a bad taste in their mouth when everything was given to them," she said. "We gave them everything. They never paid for anything."
Natural response
Therein might lie the problem, said psychologist Harald Graning of Confidential Counseling of Westminster.
While the Browns might look like the ultimate ingrates, their response is not unnatural, he said.
"Suppose that you were living your life," he said, "and all of a sudden God came down and destroyed your house? You'd probably be pissed."
The anger that people feel under such circumstances needs to be vented and often isn't.
Unfortunately, the overwhelming generosity of others can backfire by intensifying the recipient's sense of anger and helplessness.
"You are forced to accept charity," he said. "It's demeaning."
Doing good makes the benefactor feel better, not the person being helped, he said. When the person on the receiving end can't repay the kindness and feels compelled to feel appreciative, he or she can become extremely frustrated. Acting out can occur.
Church members trying to make sense of the situation shouldn't feel rejected or upset their gifts were rejected, he said.
I had a similar experience when we sold our house to an ex-renter many years ago. This person called us regularly for a year when anything needed fixing or if they just wanted home improvements done. They even demanded we pay to have someone come out and change the air conditioning filter...a year after we left.
"Aren't we commanded to leave the gleanings of our field for the poor and the widow, etc. etc., all through the Bible?" Does it command you to harvest the grain for them and bake the bread for them? Or do people who receive charity have to do SOME work for said charity?
I feel the same way a lot of the time. Just stupidity and lies and selfishness everywhere. Except where the opposite qualities somehow manage to exist. And that's where I try to keep looking. I would love to have heard what Mr. Nagin had to say.
I saw a clip of Nagin announcing free internet service in N.O., like it was going to rescue the city. Whats up with that?
My girlfriend, who is a nurse from New Orleans, commented to me on this situation. She said: "Uh oh these folks around the country have NO idea what they are getting into."
She said: "Pretty soon we'll be getting calls from strangers saying: 'You all come and pick up your people, now. It's time for them to go back to New Orleans.'"
When I lived in Africa (Zimbabwe), I saw rural African homes that used cow dung to make a dirt floor shine like linoleum.
I was shocked at how good it looked--no smell either. Their homes were neat and tidy.
Evening TT,
I don't think so, if it is the truth of their lifestyle.
Low life scumbag trash will always be LLSBT regardless of what you do to help them.
As I See It,
NSNR-FA&TD
That's a very good point--the widows and orphans are expected to go into the fields and glean the gleanings themselves; there's nothing in there about home delivery. I think the bigger point is that we shouldn't let people like the Browns make us not want to find ways to be generous, or give us an excuse not to try.
Acting out can occur? Weasel words. Rationalization. Typical psycho-babble. If you are raised like a slob in a barn, then you act like it. Nothing particularly complex here.
When I was single and rented a house, I left it *better* than it was when I moved in. Anytime something is loaned to me, I return it in as good or better condition. I raised my kid the same way.
We had lights the neighborhood but no gas, phone or cable thus no Internet.
Anything helps at this point and just one step forward after the City Gov has taken 10 steps backward.
I live in the warehouse district and we have had a pretty bad time. We are lucky that our apartment and possesions were fine, but something nasty is occuring. We were evicted from our place as of November 30th due to the "state of emergency." Now, we found another apartment in our same building at a 50% increase with ZERO options. Housing is a huge problem. So the whole 3 month episode has cost us over $10,000, that we did NOT have(new security deposit, hotels, gas and food, ect,) At the town hall meeting today, I found out that almost EVERYONE was kicked out of their apartments in the same manner, in order to jack up everyone's rent.
Great television theater will be in the offing in January.
Leni
Bet you would not eat off the floor...lol...
Animals are cleaner. They are smart enough not to despoil their own nests, dens, or other habitats.
Pigs will always be pigs and that's what these people are, pigs!
I've heard other stories of good people who appreciate the help they have received.
Social work is hard work with little payoff... It's not always like this, but often enough to burn out anyone who tries it. There truly are some good people out there, who end up briefly needing help, and their success makes you feel pretty good. But then there's this crap.
I'm glad the paper ran the tenants down and asked them about it. "We tried to clean up as best we could" my butt.
Just to prove a point and make me feel better.
The couselor is a total idiot, and you can bet he wouldn't loan HIS house to anyone.
I think the story illustrated the difference between charity and welfare. Charity, sure, but that church was giving welfare. Note how the guy said he "had" to work under the table. I think he and his family are used to running scams and the good church folk should require a little gleaning next time around.
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