Skip to comments.This Coffee Tastes like ....t (Real Coffee Humor)
Posted on 12/09/2005 2:30:19 PM PST by StoneWallJack
The Palm Civet or marsupial luwak of Indonesia a tree climbing animal that ranges in weight from three to ten pounds uses its sense of smell and eyesight to seek out its favorite treat the ripest coffee cherries. The Palm Civet or Luwak passes the cherry through the digestive track where the beans exit the animal basically intact. The beans are then patiently harvested from the forest floor near coffee plantations carefully cleaned and roasted.
The beans are usually given a light to dark roast to avoid destruction of the complex flavors which have developed through the process. This unique processing is said to give the resulting coffee a rich, heavy flavor with some hints of caramel or chocolate. Some other words used to describe this cup of joe by those fortunate enough to try it have been earthy, musty and exotic with syrupy body and smooth flavor.
The University of Guelph did a study in which they examined the chemical and physical properties of the Kopi Luwak coffee bean and compared them to that of a regular coffee bean. Their results are quite interesting. They found the unroasted Kopi Luwak coffee beans had more red and yellow tones than a Columbian coffee bean. They also found the Kopi Luwak gourmet coffee bean to have less total protein, less bacterial count, some pitting on the surface of the coffee bean and different compounds. This may explain why the Kopi Luwak coffee is said to be less bitter and have a different aroma than other gourmet coffee.
Although this gourmet coffees exact date of discovery is not known. The strange origins of this rare gourmet coffee make it labor-intensive and time-consuming to produce. Gourmet coffee lovers are willing to pay a premium for this rare and exotic blend and consider it worth the effort and trouble involved. Here is your chance to be among the few who have tried Kopi Luwak coffee. We have been able to secure a small quantity of Kopi Luwak coffee at a substantial discount and once sold out we do not know when we will be able to procure more.
"That sounds reasonable. Are you an historian? :)"
Yeah, right! :o)
That's the reason, then.
For less than the price of one pound of this '`monkey crap' coffee beans, you can buy a reverse osmosis water system and use any coffee and it rivals the best beans. IMO the water is a big part of how good your coffee tastes. I also have a vacuum food saver and keep my coffee under a vacuum.
Some years ago, an unruly United Airlines passenger relieved himself on the beverage cart. This story sheds new light...perhaps he was just trying the old civet trick for improving UA's coffee.
"Monkey crap coffee"
I can't say that with a straight face!
I've never been that desparate myself. Of course, I don't drink coffee. :)
I got my brother into home roasting last year and he has since got several other people started, and I think I may have "started something" with a few friends from church. I've been home roasting for about 3 years now, and I love it.
I for one don't wanna know how the stuff tastes...
Thanks for the info Pablo64. I searched and did find some sites, but your recommendation is most helpful.
What a thread. I will stick with MH instant, thanks.
I have made your coffee once.
I also answered an ad for a free rattle snake bite once too.
I am out for a while.
We are going to a wedding tonight.
(Not FReeper related)
I used to hate to go to weddings when I was young.
The old Grammas & Aunts would pinch my cheek and tell me, "You're next."
I got them to quit doing that by saying the same thing to them at funerals.
See y'all later.
See post #62 ole buddy!
You're most welcome. If you decide to try it yourself, let me know how you like it. Also, one correction I need to make: the brand of roaster I have is the Fresh Roast, not the Fresh Cup as I had posted (Fresh Cup is the name of the trade magazine I get).
Good luck, safe travels.
You also said my coffee wasn't bad... when it had cutting fluid.
(And wasn't being given to the local deer population..)
The longer I know you the more I respect you.
I have to respectfully disagree. The best coffee comes from the C4E household, especially when Mr. C4E brews it prior to my rising in the A.M., so I have it ready, hot and strong. Add cream and honey and it is ambrosia for the gods.
When I do that with baking soda, I grind the beans finer, also use about 25% more beans, and the very slightest pinch of salt. The lack of bite from "standup the spoon thick" coffee is taken away by the baking soda, allows a far stronger coffee. Using water with chlorine in it puts bitterness back in. Folgers red bag at the Navy commissary is the best bang-for-the-buck. Seattle's best is not much better, IMHO.
I still have the scars. Those deer can go drink ditchwater from now on.
My license has no tags for "Charging Lunatic Deer, Antlerless or not."
I've been pretty drunk, I've been pretty stupid in my youth, I've done things on a dare in College I wouldn't do now except for some Bill Gates money. Never, not once did I think " Where can I get some of coffee that came out of a cat's ass?"
And most grocery storres sell Melita brand coffee which is 100% arabica.
For half the price of Starbucks or the other fancy brands.
Did you guys eventually get revenge on that one?
You spelled "sausage" wrong! ;-)
I like my coffee sweet and blond, especially when prepared by my hot, sweet and blond honey, Ambrosia..
There is something wrong there.
To anyone of you guys. I got a Zach & Dani's roaster for Christmas last year and it works pretty good but is beginning to make funny noises now. Who can give me info on a good replacement roaster, if need be.
Offhand, I dunno.
Could it need to be cleaned at all?
The percolator I have tends to make noise and slow down when it needs thorough cleaning.
Thanks for that!
Pour some Melita coffee beans on a table next to Starbuck beans. See the difference? It is the oil content and the roasting of the beans that makes the difference. Starbucks has mastered the roasting of the beans. Make a pot of Starbucks and a pot of Melita. Taste the difference? Starbucks is rich in flavor. Melita makes you want to vomit.
Sam, snippy, you're pretty serious about your coffee, anything helpful for Perfesser?
Who's a$$ did those beans come out of?
Thanks.........My dear departed younger brother loved his coffee. Somewhat of a snob about it, actually. I told him that he was not a conniseur? because he demanded it be the same all the time. I said a conniseur would drink whatever was available. Only then could he learn the difference between the good and the bad. He was the only one who could drink it his way. You could dilute it with half water and still have a very strong cup of coffee. Anyway, I do try to improve the enjoyment of coffee when I can. It is cheaper to buy it green and roast it.
I sure he was still here to argue with about it.
When I want something better than everyday Melita- a mild roast just the way I like it- for special occasions, I go to the local coffee co.
It's not only cheaper and better coffee, they're good people.
I sure WISH he were here to argue with about it.
LOL, sounds like he liked the stuff the way I make it.
Haven't roasted the stuff personally.
I have run across some stuff that was pretty anemic though.
I understand that.
"Starbucks is for insecure suckers."
Lots of good people drink Starbucks. You appear to have issues other than coffee quality or individual preference..
I'm too lazy, but here's the place to go: Sweet Maria's - it's where I've been buying my green beans to roast at home for about 6 years.
I haven't bought coffee in a (bleh!) can in 30 years, and haven't bought roasted whole beans in 5. Starbucks is simply poor coffee, marked way up.
Do your own; as with most homegrown chemistry, it's better.
Actually, lots of people drink sugery, milky, chococoffee-flavored overpriced froofroo drinks at Starbucks.
Try going in there and ordering just a plain black coffee. It's awful.
He took his coffee maker with him when he traveled so his wife could set it up anywhere and make him a cup. He wasn't aware of the roasting your own possibilities, but did buy the whole beans and grind them. He bought me a coffee mug once for $9.00. He fancied himself a high roller. I thought he was nuts. I may drink tanzanian peaberry or huehuetanango from quatemala but I also drink Folger's when I have to. Caffiene is our friend.
Starbucks brewed coffee is rank, imo. An ordinary coffee vending machine is better. I say this in all sincerity.
Starbucks lattes and tazo drinks are very good.
Thank you every much, and I love your handle.
So, are you saying that Starbucks makes bad coffee because people are buying froofroo coffee drinks at their stores? If it's awful, why are you frequenting Starbucks stores?
Caffiene, a gift from above for those of us who need an extra kick.
My mug is older than I am, and my spoon is an American Airlines stainless...
Yes, I am very picky about who touches my mug and spoon.
(Not too picky about my coffee grind or roast, only so long as it isn't anemic.)