Posted on 12/30/2005 10:21:26 AM PST by onedoug
Deenis Prager on now discussing his own impending divorce....
Well put. He seemed to only take calls from others today who wanted to tell them how divorce didn't hurt them as kids or hurt their kids. He was kvelling over each call, the choir being preached to. "Yes! Yes!" he shouted.
How can we possibly know why these divorces occurred? Is this public knowledge? How long was he married the first time? This marriage was for 17 years. If each marriage lasted 17 years, this is not what I would choose, but what if someone else made the choice? What if this is his wife's decision? We know none of the details, yet there are an awful lot of people here sitting in judgment and supposing all kinds of reasons behind this.
An honest response, which I sincerely appreciate. Yes, I do wonder the same thing. I think what he might be saying is that it is painful for the children but not fatal. My younger brother was seriously affected by my parents' divorce, which happened after the rest of us had left home. He had a very hard childhood from age 10 onward. Yet, he is the most successful professionally of us all, has a wonderful home life, is a devoted husband who worships his wife, has four of the most authentically great kids I've ever met, and the world is his oyster.
I will remember him in my prayers during this personally difficult time and may God bless him!
Nov. 12, 2002
Dennis Prager
Conservatives need to be more compassionate on divorce
Most Americans believe that for the past generation, America has been in a moral decline. And whenever conservatives describe this decline, they include the high divorce rate, along with crime and out-of-wedlock births, as a prime example.
I believe conservatives are wrong here.
By way of illustration, allow me a story:
http://tinyurl.com/7e3cv
Actually, there is NOTHING thrilling about it. TV may have warped some minds, but not everyone's.
snip
Prager discussed his abandonment of Orthodoxy on his radio show July 13, 2001:
Dennis: "I was raised Orthodox but after my Bar Mitzvah on I was never Orthodox. I did however try Orthodoxy once again after my first child was born (1983). For a number of years, I lived an orthodox life to try it again as an adult. I'm quite observant but I always announce that I am not Orthodox because I never want to mislead anybody. Many Orthodox institutions have used some of my writings on Judaism, particularly my first book 'The Nine Questions People Ask About Judaism.' But I will drive to synagogue on the Sabbath for example."
Caller: "What about kosher? Is that important to you?"
Dennis: "Yes. But my level would be different from yours if you are Orthodox. I don't care, for example, about dishes at a restaurant. If a dish has touched bacon and then was washed, I will have food off of it."
Caller: "What would you advise young people, especially Jews, aged 12-25 about whether they should follow what you're doing?"
Dennis: "I am proud to say that I have brought a lot of Jews to Judaism. And they know, as my own children know, that I do not give a hoot if my children or any Jew I influence expresses a serious Judaism as an Orthodox, Conservative, Reform or Hasidic Jew. I am just as happy. I have zero preference."
Caller: "What happened after your Bar Mitzvah?"
Dennis: "I don't have an Orthodox temperament. For example, I never got into praying. Never. I love singing and Torah study. Davening essentially has bored me. In most synagogues, I am bored out of my mind. I'm sure that's a lapse in me. I was raised in a world where so much is actually said in prayer, that it is actually speed read."
Dennis is the only member of his immediate family who is not Orthodox. "I was born an adult," he told the 2-4-98 LA Times. "I couldn't bear parental coercion. I've always been in love with freedom."
snip
Ethnic pride has never been a big value for Dennis. At his Bar Mitzvah (age 13) at Winsoki on 7/15/61, he received the book "Great Jews in Sports." He found the topic hilarious. Prager also had no time for superstition, choosing the number 13 when he played basketball. "And if you'd asked my coach, he'd probably say that I lived up to it."
The proverbial "why?" child, Prager was sent to the principal's office so often that they named a chair "The Dennis Prager seat."
snip
http://tinyurl.com/9zaak
Sometimes...it does sound that way...LOL.
Secondly, to varying degrees, we all fail and we all sin. This reality cannot inhibit us from affirming that which is morally correct.
According to his bio, the first marriage was five years, terminating in 1986. Interestingly enough, my wife and I attended a lecture DP and his second wife gave on marriage and family, of all things, at the Glendale Hilton some years ago.
They both spoke of how they met and the factors that led up to their marriage. When she (DP's second wife Fran) took the podium, she mentioned that upon their first chance meeting -- apparently, he came to her door by mistake -- she decided then and there that this was the man for her even though he was married at the time. She actually said just that.
Well, the audience ate her alive for that remark. How was her action appropriate, considering his marital status? How could she justify her conduct? Etc. etc. She tried to spin her way out of it (he was alientated from his wife, they were considering a trial separation) but she came off as a opportunistic gold-digger and homewrecking apologist.
At the time, my wife and I just shrugged this off, since we were big fans and not prepared to throw the baby out with the bathwater. But if Prager was susceptible to this kind of attention -- common to ambitious young men on their way up -- it wouldn't surprise me if it happened again, now that he is emperor of the conservative moral high ground and king of all he can see.
For all that, the news came as a complete surprise today, and I remain totally, completely absolutely astonished that it could happen. If anyone could be expected to navigate the marital minefields of life, I would expect it to be Dennis Prager.
Terribly sad that this happened.
Ok, I will, but with the way you seem to say always with us, it sounds like our society should just accept this. Well if we are going to accept this why not accept everyother unfortunate situation like abortion, liberals, etc. Aren't we, especially conservatives supposed to be better than that?
Answering your next post, I would not feel like this guy was a bad person necessarily if he would not speak like the moral compass about issues. I find that most conservatives do find divorce a conservative issue as it deals with many ideals that people have. However, I am not inclind to agree with the statement about forcing people to stick together.
This whole thing just sounds so libertarian.
I might agree with you if we were living in more morally stable times. We're not.
A hypocrite is someone who doesn't even ATTEMPT to practice what they preach.
Agreed. That's why I've included in every note that IF he is the party responsible for the divorce and IF it is not for scriptural reasons, then we should cast a weary eye. This could rest upon the wife's shoulders.
Secondly, to varying degrees, we all fail and we all sin. This reality cannot inhibit us from affirming that which is morally correct.
In general I agree. But it becomes almost heinous when a moralist cannot live up to the expectations they lay out for the rest of us. When a moralist fails, and by their own actions, it's a crime.
Would you be so generous if he announced he was involved in a same sex relationship?
Too many people brush off moral failings when it's one of their own. We need to hold those who are "friends" to the same or even higher standards than those with whom we are at odds.
If divorce is not a big issue, he never should have gotten married! He should have never made his vows if he planned on not honoring them the second things got tough.
This nation has suffered a tremendous lost with our new found disposable marriages. Growing old without a lifelong partner to support and love you will make a lot of people's waning years a living hell. The memories of their instant grafications will fade as their loneliness increases. It is sad to see people throw away their twilight years.
Well, first of all, a vow isn't a contract; it's a promise made to God, or with God as a formal witness. You don't say, "I will keep my promises to God unless it gets reallly difficult." You say, "I will keep my promises, so help me God."
Second, if you love someone, you are committed to their well-being, and especially to their spiritual well-being. A straying spouse will never experience spiritual well-being until he or she stops straying and re-commits to their marriage partner. That's why the faithful spouse must continually pray and hope that the offending spouse will repent and turn their life around, and that the marriage will be restored.
II can only think of the prophet Hosea, whose forgiveness and fidelity toward his wife (who was a whore) is the image of God's never-failing love toward our straying souls.
This is a hard saying, very hard: but love calls us beyond what is pleasant for ourselves. You're faithful to a faithless spouse because you love him or her. You love your spouse, not because of feelings (delighted, wounded, blissful, miserable) but because of a permanent commitment, which is an act of freedom.
We don't know who has sued for divorce nor the circumstances, at least I don't. My great sympathy lay with the child. Since he's "been there done that" *twice* with children being stuck in a divorced parents situation he doesn't have much credibility with choosing a mother wisely. Or worse, if he left his wife then he's morally culpable.
If no children were involved or grown, I'd feel differently.
Given what his second wife had said about how they met and her pursuit of him while he was still married, I'd say he was not terribly smart to marry her; doubly true if she filed.
Or participation in ritual abuse. There's a fine line between being faithful to a faithless spouse and being that spouse's doormat. This is why we must be selective before taking vows.
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