Expectant fathers in the waiting room...
Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
Sigh.
Besides, it's tough getting the "village" taxpayers to support and raise your child if "Mr. Right" is living in the home.
"Goodbye men, it was nice knowing you."
Unless these women are Lesbians, don't they know how much fun their missing by going the route of the sperm donor?
I really am screwed now (pun not intended). Perhaps lifelong singlehood isn't as bad as it sounds.
This is a time bomb waiting to ruin your life. It goes off the day "Mommy" finds herself broke and goes after you for child support. Guarantees of anonymity won't mean jack to an activist judge.
I categorically don't date single/divorced/widowed moms. Kids are a bad scene for a bachelor about town, and I have no interest in raising some other guy's children.
"Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 "
Sick, selfish women..thinking only of their own wants.
This practice is demented.
What totally selfish women. They are more concerned with themselves and their "biological clocks" than with providing their child with EVERYTHING that child needs to be well rounded. It's tough enough when something happens to your spouse (death, etc.) to raise a child alone, but to do it without even thinking of the consequences is unimaginable.
""These guys are college students. This is a form of income,"
Mow a lawn you lazy POS.
What an extremely selfish attitude. No wonder she hasn't met Mr. Right -- who'd want her?
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said"
Even if you did, you couldn't. Thank your mom for that -- you can probably reach her on her cell phone.
Yeah but even single people get the "urge" every now and then. What are you going to do, be celibate?
Of course they know. But what choice do they have? All too often, while there may be men who will share their bed, those men are not about to be roped into being a father.
"Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life."
Shades of "Brave New World". Kinda gives me the willies.
I feel sorry for her progeny.
Because you never had one to begin with, many fatherless children would LOVE to have a father.
ROFL!
I always disliked the school assignments where you had to trace back your ancestry. The point was that no one is an American -- except Native Americans. My father's side goes back over 200 years in America. My mother's side goes back over 300 years. But my teachers always told me I was not American, I was from an immigrant family. I hated that.
But at least my family tree didn't include donor number 1002.
Expectant fathers in the waiting room...
Heck, my fear, as a man, would be some loony family judge would make me have to pay child support...
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