Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

More Women Not Waiting For Mr. Right
CBS2CHICAGO ^ | 18 May 2006 | CBS2CHICAGO

Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist

(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.

As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.

The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.

Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.

"It was like a time bomb," April said.

"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.

Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.

This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.

"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.

The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.

"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.

When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.

"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.

Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.

Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.

While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.

Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.

"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.

"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.

Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.

"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.

Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.

Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.

"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.

Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.

"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.

Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.

Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.

"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.

April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.

"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.

Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.

Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.

"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.

April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.

All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.

It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: birthrate; bravenewworld; children; freeriders; genderwars; harpyreproduction; ivf; marriage; moralabsolutes; paternity; spermbank; swirlingdowndrain
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-5051-100101-150151-200 ... 601-617 next last
To: mewzilla

Isn't that just the saddest statement? SHE needed. Based on my experience, the last selfish thought we ever had was I want a baby. Everything, every meal we ate, every penny we spent, every plan we made was overshadowed by that last selfish thought.

SHE needed. I hope she knows how to get over her other NEEDS going forward, because the only needs we had time to fulfill were those of our children.

What a goof. No wonder she couldn't find a husband. Too centered on HER needs.


51 posted on 05/21/2006 12:25:07 PM PDT by trimom
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: TypeZoNegative
>>This is a time bomb waiting to ruin your life. It goes off the day "Mommy" finds herself broke and goes after you for child support. Guarantees of anonymity won't mean jack to an activist judge."

>>Nice choice of words.

Oops. ;^)

52 posted on 05/21/2006 12:25:41 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (When Al Franken had his bris, they threw away the baby and saved the foreskin.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]

To: Gritty

At least they are choosing to have children. Its better than just sleeping with anyone you want without protection and producing children without wanting them.


53 posted on 05/21/2006 12:26:01 PM PDT by sabe@q.com (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 50 | View Replies]

To: MIchaelTArchangel
So rather than become Miss Right, these wymyn are not waiting for Mister Right and are settling for Mister Right Now (for ten minutes)?

"Mommy, Mommy, can you show us that picture of Daddy?"

"Sure, Honey..."


54 posted on 05/21/2006 12:26:46 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Governor of California, another job Americans won't do.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
What a complete immoral bunch of hogwash.

Who the hell would want a woman with this kind of immoral baggage hanging over the marriage.

I feel for the poor children born out of this kind of a fiasco.
55 posted on 05/21/2006 12:27:21 PM PDT by OKIEDOC (There's nothing like hearing someone say thank you for your help.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
What a complete immoral bunch of hogwash.

Who the hell would want a woman with this kind of immoral baggage hanging over the marriage.

I feel for the poor children born out of this kind of a fiasco.
56 posted on 05/21/2006 12:29:10 PM PDT by OKIEDOC (There's nothing like hearing someone say thank you for your help.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: freedumb2003

I believe that Nazi Germany experimented with this kind of insane immoral idea.


57 posted on 05/21/2006 12:30:04 PM PDT by OKIEDOC (There's nothing like hearing someone say thank you for your help.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: No Blue States
""These guys are college students. This is a form of income,"

Mow a lawn you lazy POS.

They're just getting paid to do something they'd probably be doing anyway--only save the results.

"You too can wank your way to a college degree in your spare time...."

58 posted on 05/21/2006 12:30:04 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist

""I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said."

Cripes, like a 13-year-old has enough life experience to be a valid source of opinion. Not to mention that by most estimates, her frontal lobe has 7 more years to go to maturity, so she has questionable judgement too.


59 posted on 05/21/2006 12:30:56 PM PDT by Felis_irritable
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: trimom

Very well said! Gave me chills.

Any parent that thinks their life is about their needs
do not get what parenting is.


60 posted on 05/21/2006 12:33:01 PM PDT by No Blue States
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 51 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist; No Blue States
The woman (rightly so) will always put the child first, period.

Well, hopefully the parents will put the child first, and the "new" Dad won't be defensive and will rather try and be a unifying force. Children of divorce have it particularly difficult, with issues of trust and anger they have trouble resolving (as they often don't even recognize them). A strong man who takes his place as the head of the family can really pull a family together. Of course his wife must help and they have to work together and be honest and talk to each other. But that is true of any marriage. Kids need a mother and a father and I applaud any man who takes on the challenge of marrying a woman who already has kids. It's very tough sometimes. But I can tell you from experience I'm sure glad my second husband wasn't put off by my 2 children. They've turned out quite well, and I can thank him for a good bit of that.
61 posted on 05/21/2006 12:33:41 PM PDT by visualops (America... www.visualops.com ...is not just a job site.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting
and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open
or plan to be open with their children
.


I suspect they'll never be this honest a few years from now:
"Well son, the truth is that I'm a shrewish man-hater. That's why I didn't
find a husband to help me create a family. I hope that knowing this doesn't
make for trouble in your current gender-identity psycho-therapy sessions."
62 posted on 05/21/2006 12:33:46 PM PDT by VOA
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: freedumb2003

ROFL


63 posted on 05/21/2006 12:33:51 PM PDT by No Blue States
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 54 | View Replies]

To: JamesP81
I really am screwed now (pun not intended). Perhaps lifelong singlehood isn't as bad as it sounds.

Tell ya what. In exchange for half of the net worth of our community property, you can have my wife. :-)

64 posted on 05/21/2006 12:34:31 PM PDT by Polybius
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Tall_Texan

LOL!


65 posted on 05/21/2006 12:35:02 PM PDT by WV Mountain Mama (In West Virginia, even the road less traveled is paved, courtesy of Byrd.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: Smokin' Joe

Darn, I could have bought a PHD.


66 posted on 05/21/2006 12:35:03 PM PDT by No Blue States
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 58 | View Replies]

To: marajade
Its better than just sleeping with anyone you want without protection and producing children without wanting them.

Maybe.

But it would be better for everyone concerned if they simply just buy a quality dildo and spare the rest of us their self-righteousness!

67 posted on 05/21/2006 12:35:26 PM PDT by Gritty (For campus feminists, masturbation is just another excuse to seek university funding-Mike Adams)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 53 | View Replies]

To: MIchaelTArchangel

You can become Miss right all you want and if there are fewer and fewer quality men willing to commit, this situation is going to get worse, no matter how Miss Right one has become.


68 posted on 05/21/2006 12:35:28 PM PDT by TAdams8591
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: No Blue States
Mow a lawn you lazy POS.


I thought that's one of those jobs Americans won't do. Of course with the allure of sperm bank donating, who would want to? Maybe he could mow the lawn after donating.
69 posted on 05/21/2006 12:36:19 PM PDT by rottndog (WOOF!!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Alexander Rubin; An American In Dairyland; Antoninus; Aquinasfan; BIRDS; BlackElk; BlessedBeGod; ...
MORAL ABSOLUTES PING.

DISCUSSION ABOUT:

More Women Not Waiting For Mr. Right

Many of these women have probably aborted infants and now they view a child as just another "possession" to aquire as easily as possible.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To be included in or removed from the MORAL ABSOLUTES PINGLIST, please FReepMail wagglebee.

70 posted on 05/21/2006 12:37:40 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: HitmanLV
Perfectly smart and understandable. And very wise! Good luck in all things! ;-)

Thank you. :) You can't imagine the negative reaction I get, particularly from other women, when I tell them that choosing a mate is a decision that should be made on a practical basis as well as an emotional one. And the emotional one isn't primary.

71 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:00 PM PDT by virginiaspook
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: Gritty

So why are men selling their semen? I guess you could say it would be better for everyone if they would just jack off into a garbage can rather than sell it.


72 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:08 PM PDT by sabe@q.com (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 67 | View Replies]

To: mewzilla
These women, IMO are very very selfish. They would willfully deny their children fathers. Horrible choice. I adored my father growing up, and as an adult as well. Without a father, these children have no way of learning what a man is or what to expect out of themselves, (if they are boys) nor what to expect from men (if they are girls)

Also, it is a fathers place to teach his children respect for their mother (and vise versa) For a mother to teach a child respect for her, can only be just so effective, and through the teen years especially, comes off as selfish, and all about her, instead of how a father comes off.

For instance, when a teen gets a little mouthy, and the mother says don't talk to me like that, it comes across to the kid many times, as just one more thing to parent back to her. When a father says don't talk to your mother that way, it is much more effective, more teaching than preaching.
73 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:09 PM PDT by gidget7 (PC is the huge rock, behind which lies hide!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
"Goodbye men, it was nice knowing you.",

We still need to be kept around to pay for the government run child care and/or welfare these single mothers will need. If you look at it that way, we're all fathers!

74 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:20 PM PDT by gore_sux (and so does Xlinton)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
Women that no man would want, having children to feel loved and needed. They are totally unsatisfied with any man that they could actually 'get'.

What ever happened to buying a cat?

75 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:39 PM PDT by Bon mots
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: HitmanLV

to be honest, this doesn't bother me that much. we have low birth rates in this country, and if these women want children and they can afford to raise them, let them get pregnant if they want.


76 posted on 05/21/2006 12:38:43 PM PDT by oceanview
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: wagglebee

"Many of these women have probably aborted infants..."

How on earth did you come to this conclusion?


77 posted on 05/21/2006 12:39:14 PM PDT by sabe@q.com (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 70 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist

I hope all these women live very long lives,VERY ALONE AND VERY LONELY!


78 posted on 05/21/2006 12:39:59 PM PDT by INSENSITIVE GUY
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: marajade

haha! Good point.


79 posted on 05/21/2006 12:40:01 PM PDT by No Blue States
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 72 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist

Well gee whiz, if the sperm donor sounded so great, why didn't they meet and get married? Yeah I know....

The coming genetic disaster is scary.


80 posted on 05/21/2006 12:41:39 PM PDT by TheSpottedOwl (If you don't understand the word "Illegal", then the public school system has failed you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: freedumb2003

Not one great smile amongst them.


81 posted on 05/21/2006 12:42:08 PM PDT by skr (We cannot play innocents abroad in a world that is not innocent.-- Ronald Reagan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: marajade

By the fact that there are well over ONE MILLION abortions per year performed in this country.

http://www.nrlc.org/abortion/facts/abortionstats.html


82 posted on 05/21/2006 12:42:25 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 77 | View Replies]

To: gidget7

"Without a father, these children have no way of learning what a man is or what to expect out of themselves, (if they are boys) nor what to expect from men (if they are girls)..."

Psychotherapy is a wonderful profession. Life is never perfect.


83 posted on 05/21/2006 12:42:38 PM PDT by sabe@q.com (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 73 | View Replies]

To: oceanview
I don't have that big a problem with it either, except to say I wouldn't want to have much to do with these women (and all single/divorced/widowed moms).

Since I'll take a wild stab at it and say most would not want to have much to do with me, 'no harm, no foul).
84 posted on 05/21/2006 12:42:46 PM PDT by HitmanLV ("5 Minute Penalty for #40, Ann Theresa Calvello!" - RIP 1929-2006)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 76 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist

85 posted on 05/21/2006 12:43:34 PM PDT by Radix (Why do they call them Morons when they don't know so much? Shouldn't they be called Lessons?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: virginiaspook
You can't imagine the negative reaction I get, particularly from other women, when I tell them that choosing a mate is a decision that should be made on a practical basis as well as an emotional one. And the emotional one isn't primary.

I agree. I think that's the reason we have so many dissatisfied couples: there wasn't much attention given to practical matters. Indeed, the practical matters are very important and when ignored, lead to problems.

86 posted on 05/21/2006 12:44:22 PM PDT by HitmanLV ("5 Minute Penalty for #40, Ann Theresa Calvello!" - RIP 1929-2006)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 71 | View Replies]

To: wagglebee

"By the fact that there are well over ONE MILLION abortions per year performed in this country."

And just how does that correlate to women who choose to have children via a test tube?


87 posted on 05/21/2006 12:44:34 PM PDT by sabe@q.com (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 82 | View Replies]

To: marajade

Okay, then lets assume none of them have had abortions, what about the embryos that they are allowing to be slaughtered just to feed their desires?


88 posted on 05/21/2006 12:46:24 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 87 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist

Odd that they're now trying to make "sperm donor" a term of praise. It used to be a phrase for deadbeat dads. Those sperm donors really empowered the women they impregnated--empowered them right into poverty and welfare.


89 posted on 05/21/2006 12:46:55 PM PDT by Dumb_Ox (http://kevinjjones.blogspot.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: marajade
Psychotherapy is a wonderful profession. Life is never perfect.

Agreed...Many of those shrinks could use a lot of it.

90 posted on 05/21/2006 12:47:43 PM PDT by jazusamo (-- Married a WAC in '65 and I'm still reenlisting. :-)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 83 | View Replies]

To: wagglebee

What embryos? These women aren't donating their embryos.


91 posted on 05/21/2006 12:48:12 PM PDT by sabe@q.com (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 88 | View Replies]

To: No Blue States; Extremely Extreme Extremist
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002

OMG!!!

*I'M* donor number 1002!!!

92 posted on 05/21/2006 12:48:40 PM PDT by Lazamataz (If a woman gives birth in Indiana, is she a Hoosier Mama?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: wagglebee

And you turn your nose down to these women who choose to have a child and you give the men who profit from selling their sperm a pass?


93 posted on 05/21/2006 12:49:14 PM PDT by sabe@q.com (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 88 | View Replies]

To: marajade

What exactly do you think happens to the "left over" embryos after IVF?


94 posted on 05/21/2006 12:49:26 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 91 | View Replies]

To: jazusamo

You aren't Tom Cruise in disguise are you?


95 posted on 05/21/2006 12:49:49 PM PDT by sabe@q.com (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 90 | View Replies]

To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.

These sperm donors had better watch out. Some recent court rulings have come down that hold the sperm donor liable for child support!

Hate to see it. The husband-wife relationship was established by God for a very sacred purpose. De-valuing it in this manner can have apocalylptic consequences.

96 posted on 05/21/2006 12:50:11 PM PDT by nightdriver
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wagglebee

Let me guess... the women sell them? I don't know and I really don't care. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.


97 posted on 05/21/2006 12:50:54 PM PDT by sabe@q.com (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 94 | View Replies]

To: marajade
So why are men selling their semen?

Oh, because some whack-job will buy it.

98 posted on 05/21/2006 12:51:24 PM PDT by demlosers
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 72 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

"*I'M* donor number 1002!!!"

LOL! Well at least she will have a great sense of humor!


99 posted on 05/21/2006 12:51:41 PM PDT by No Blue States
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 92 | View Replies]

To: FlingWingFlyer

These women are not the ones mooching off the taxpayers. These women don't want to wait for "Mr. Right", but they do wait for financial security. The welfare moms don't care about financial self-sufficiency, and they don't use sperm banks -- they just grab guys off the street for a quickie, while still in their teens and without a high school diploma.


100 posted on 05/21/2006 12:51:43 PM PDT by GovernmentShrinker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-5051-100101-150151-200 ... 601-617 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson