Lucky Lobster says "Eat me."
Posted on 06/13/2006 7:18:16 AM PDT by Cat loving Texan
No wonder people think this town is goofy. The Whole Foods Market chain headquartered here in Austin is thinking about stopping the sale of live lobsters because it could be cruel to the lobsters.
"We're reviewing the entire process literally from boat to plate to see if we can make some significant improvement in that whole supply process," Whole Foods spokeswoman Kate Lowery said.
One way Whole Foods could make some significant improvement would be to release all the lobsters into Town Lake. That way I could collect them and eat them.
Still, on Thursday the Whole Foods leadership will discuss whether to discontinue marketing live lobsters because the lobsters may not be getting humane treatment. At issue here is what people do with the lobsters when they take them home — that is, boil them and dip them in drawn butter. "It's ultimately how they're handled by the consumer after they go home that's a concern," Lowery said.
What are we supposed to do? Give them names like Larry the Lobster and take them for a walk?
Then there's the problem of the lobster's in-store living conditions. Whole Foods would like the lobsters to have an environment similar to their natural habitat.
"They like dark areas, and they like solitary," Lowery said. "You can imagine how they would go and kind of burrow into rocks, creating their own space." I think I went drinking once in a place like that in the Warehouse District.
Lowery added that at some point Whole Foods will also address the ticklish issue of selling live clams.
Are you concerned about clams' feelings? Have you ever had a conversation with a clam? Wait. Let me rephrase that. Have you ever had a conversation with a clam when you weren't on acid?
If the answer is yes, get a job at Whole Foods.
Another concern is the way children bother the lobsters by tapping on the lobster tank glass. I don't care about that. But I wish science could figure a way to put children on mute and vibrate, like with a cell phone. Now there's a concept that would sell.
Anyway, I went over to the Whole Foods store to see if the live lobsters are getting a bum deal in the seafood section. Actually, the lobsters are getting off easy. They're still kickin'. It's the tilapia and salmon that are getting screwed. The tilapia have been hacked to pieces, and the wild salmon have been mushed up with spinach and feta cheese and turned into burgers.
Ain't a vet in town could bring these salmon back. And you're telling me the lobsters have a bum deal?
One of the problems, said the guy working at the Whole Foods fish counter, is that they can't feed the lobsters in the tank. "When you eat, you then poop, and this creates a dirty tank," he said. Yeah, I've noticed that connection. Maybe Whole Foods could hand the lobsters some bum wad.
Another problem, the seafood counter guy said, is the way lobsters are transported to the store. "They're put in a box and wrapped tightly with wet newspaper over the lobster," he said.
So Whole Foods could pick up the lobster in a limo. At the prices they charge, they could afford it.
John Kelso's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 445-3606 or jkelso@statesman.com.
MONSTER SPINEY!
How much did it weigh? 8 Pounder?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ohhh no. what will the rich snots find to go with their caviar!? The horror!!!!
I fell for the wild salmon banner the other day. I paid $30+ for a plank. It was good, but not that good compared to other choices costing less than half as much elsewhere.
Yes, you must be freaky to shop there. My Ronald Reagan cap drew scowls and I swear that woman rammed me with her little cart that was carrying a baby who's face was painted black.
Everything in there is priced sky-high and everybody in there acted very stuck up. Even more so than the staff at Williams-Sonoma.
There is nothing better than lobster. I do wonder though how and why anyone ever even thought to eat them. I mean look at them. They look like disgusting, mutated cockroaches.
Classification(From The Lobster Institute)
Lobsters are classified in the phyllum Arthropoda (which also includes shrimp, crabs, barnacles, and insects.) ...Nervous System
The lobsters nervous system is very primitive. In fact it is most similar to the nervous system of an insect. Neither insects nor lobsters have brains. ...
How the heck to I know that?
I'll never tell!
UT grad 1979
Don't EVER come here, hear?
When are they going to stop selling corn and tomatoes?
Tomatoes are alive!
When you cut them, they BLEED!
And corn SCREAMS when you strip off its husk!
You sound like a mushroom teasipper.
Oh please, the peas!, the peas!
Give peas a chance!
Which is about how they live in nature, right? Sitting in their own sh*t....
Cruel? Cruel? This is an animal that's going to either be chopped up live and grilled.. or dropped live in a boiling pot of water... or cooked alive in a giant sand pit for a lobster bake... and you are worried about its stress level being shipped and sold in a store???
ITS A GIANT FREAKING COCHROACH!
Its a store for elitists, pure and simple. Lets dillusional folks think they are better than everyone else.. when in fact they are just dumber.
Huh? Does this mean they're Democrats?
We've yet to hear from Sponge Bob Squarepants on this thread...
---"Neither insects nor lobsters have brains. ...---"
Must be related to Pelosi and Reid.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.