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Don't Marry a Career Woman: The Debate Heats Up
Men's News Daily ^ | September 11, 2006 | Carey Roberts

Posted on 09/11/2006 10:39:33 AM PDT by FreeManDC

Wondering about that muffled howl you’ve been hearing the last couple weeks? It’s the sound and fury of feminists reacting to Michael Noer’s latest exegesis, Don’t Marry a Career Woman.

Noer’s column, which ran at, surveyed marriages in which the wives doggedly pursue a high-powered career, all the while neglecting family and home. The research shows these women are more likely to be unhappy if she earns more than the guy, or if she quits her job and stays home. Either way, she’s going to be a grump.

Her husband is more prone to be discontented if she is the primary breadwinner. The house is going to be dirtier. In the end, she is more apt to cheat on him and the marriage will fall apart. []

Of course, these findings don’t apply to every ambitious woman who has risen to the top of her field – but the connection is true in many cases.

In practically every woman’s magazine, you’ll find advice columns to help the reader find Mr. Right and then entice her football-addled boyfriend to commit for the long-haul.

But when a male columnist dispenses relationship advice for men, that appears to be strictly verboten — at least according to the Shrieking Sisters of Silliness who cut loose on Mr. Noer.

On Good Morning America, one Rutgers U. prof claimed to be absolutely shocked: “I’m surprised that the man thinks it. I’m astonished that he wrote it. And I’m astonished that anyone published it, particularly Forbes.” (No word whether MIT professor Nancy Hopkins swooned at the news.)

Forbes hastily arranged for reporter Elizabeth Corcoran to pen a response sporting the acid title, “Don’t Marry a Lazy Man.” Describing Noer’s factual article as “frightening,” she dispensed this condescending advice about men: “If he can pick up new ideas faster than your puppy, you’ve got a winner.”

Needless to say, Ms. Corcoran’s screed only reinforced the worst stereotypes of the “I-know-what-I-want-and-I-know-how-to-get-it” career woman portrayed in Noer’s column.

Thereupon the readers jumped into the fray, all recounting their grudges about members of the opposite sex. A pretty picture it was not, but the debate is long-overdue: and .

Part of the ladies’ discomfiture with Mr. Noer’s article springs from the fact that for the last 30 years, discussions about women in the workforce have been guided by the unspoken rule, “Men’s Opinions Don’t Count.”

But then women’s one-sided conversations lapsed into over-wrought declamations about men who didn’t pitch in around the house, forgetting that that men often put in longer hours on the job, commute longer distances, and do physical labor that leaves them exhausted.

Doesn’t mowing the grass, killing creepy-crawlers that traipse through the kitchen, clearing leaves out of the gutter, and coaching Little League count for anything?

And let’s not forget the old axiom that rights and responsibilities go hand-in-hand. If women are demanding more rights, then what additional duties – like compulsory registration for the draft — are they going to shoulder?

Ironically, the same day that Michael Noer published his op-ed, columnist Nancy Levant came out with a fem-ripper called The Cultural Devastation of Women. []

Levant deplored the fact that thanks to the libbers, American women “now hire maid services, landscapers, pool cleaners, painters, interior decorators. . . .while losing every intuitive aspect of our female natures.” In the process, women “use men like ATMs” and “bankrupt multiple men with mandatory child support payments.”

One can only imagine the hullabaloo if Mrs. Levant had uttered such heresy at Forbes.

So what’s a career woman to do? For a moment, let’s can the feminist ideology and take stock of that rare commodity, common sense.

Have you ever seen a woman (or man, for that matter) exclaim at death’s door, “I only wish that I could have spent more time in the office”? Neither have I.

It’s no secret that the most rewarding parts of a person’s life revolve around relationships with spouses, children, and other family. So why are career women driven to dismember those connections that give the most meaning to their lives?

It’s true that women find satisfaction and fulfillment from paid work. And some have no choice but to get a full-time job.

But the reality is, wives’ happiness is not tied to living out of a suitcase or having an equal paycheck with their husbands. Indeed, the opposite is true. When husbands are the primary wage earners, wives have more freedom to pursue their own interests.

So Mr. Noer, lick off those wounds, straighten up that tie, and sharpen your pencil. Get ready for Round Two.

TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: bitchbitchbitchbitch; career; careerdebate; careerwomen; debate; divorce; earnings; forbes; freedom; genderwars; hitch; hitched; love; loveandmarriage; marriage; matrimony; men; menarefrommars; nuptial; nuptials; separation; sexes; vampira; women; womenarefromvenus; womenstrikeaturanus; work
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To: FreeManDC

I'd like to find a man that's willing to take on the responsibilty of being the sole breadwinner. Not many guys my age (early 30s) seem to be up to the challenge or willing to take it on.

61 posted on 09/11/2006 11:00:48 AM PDT by lawgirl (She comes on like thunder and she's more right than rain)
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To: mikeus_maximus
If I were in the search mode, I may look offshore for a wife.

Many do. From what I understand, China, Latin America, and much of Southeast Asia and Japan are considered good cultures to look into.
62 posted on 09/11/2006 11:00:52 AM PDT by JamesP81 ("Never let your schooling interfere with your education" --Mark Twain)
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To: Vision

I just celebrated my 17th year anniversary with my career woman wife. I made more, then she made more.

However, there is only one real solution to having a career woman as a wife. Get a housekeeper who also can take care of the kids. This way you have the best of both worlds.

63 posted on 09/11/2006 11:01:10 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (Mediacrat - A leftwing editorialist who pretends to be an objective journalist.)
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To: 308MBR
Even if you are the primary bread winner during her education (as I was), that tends to be forgotten when the tables turn after her career becomes established.

It works the same way when the tables are reversed and the wife is staying home. :-)

64 posted on 09/11/2006 11:01:37 AM PDT by Tired of Taxes (That's taxes, not Texas. I have no beef with TX. NJ has the highest property taxes in the nation.)
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To: Fawn
Hmm... I might be putting up a profile sooner or later...

Meh, maybe later. I still have two girls that I know personally whom I'm working on right now.

65 posted on 09/11/2006 11:02:45 AM PDT by Gordongekko909 (Mark 5:9)
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To: Gordongekko909

Ha! I guess that makes us pushovers, but there's lots of truth in all that.

66 posted on 09/11/2006 11:02:45 AM PDT by JamesP81 ("Never let your schooling interfere with your education" --Mark Twain)
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To: Paradox

Career oriented woman probably have the same negatives that a career oriented man has, but a cranky biatch is forever, working or not.

Just as surely, anyone who is trying to be career oriented and failing miserable is NOT someone you want to marry, date, have children with or in any way, shape or form, screw around with. Many gals who violate this rule can escape and move on. Most guys who violate this rule and don't see the error quickly, end up giving houses to women they don't like. Until that inequality is worked out look for guys to point out that fact and ignore the exceptions.
67 posted on 09/11/2006 11:02:53 AM PDT by mad puppy ( The Southern border is THE issue)
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To: Antoninus

And how's that defined (the welfare of the family) ? Why is that only *her* responsibility to put before something else ? It's a *man*'s responsibility to do the same.

Here's a question for you - if your wife made more money than you would you stay at home and be a house husband ? If your answer is *no*, ask yourself why that is, and why should you place that same burden on a woman.

68 posted on 09/11/2006 11:03:03 AM PDT by farlander (Strategery - sure beats liberalism!)
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To: Gordongekko909

And I wish you luck on this one - it won't work like you think.

69 posted on 09/11/2006 11:03:18 AM PDT by lesko
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To: Tennessee_Bob

That's it, we have a winner!

70 posted on 09/11/2006 11:03:26 AM PDT by Constantine XIII
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To: Jim Noble
I imagine they don't like Tom Leykis, either.

Yeah, I'm surprised Leykis' name didn't come up. He's been beating this drum for years.

71 posted on 09/11/2006 11:03:47 AM PDT by randog (What the...?!)
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To: martin_fierro

"Get back to the kitchen and cook me dinner, woman."

Then fetch me a cold beer in a frosted mug. And be quick about it. I've had a hard day at the office.

72 posted on 09/11/2006 11:04:00 AM PDT by roaddog727 (Bullsh## doesn't get bridges built.)
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To: mikeus_maximus
If I were in the search mode, I may look offshore for a wife.

I married a Japanese woman after being miserably married to an American woman. Very different psychology - she, and Japanese women in general, actually want to be feminine. They have not lost the concept of men and women being different, but equal. American women, seem to want to emulate men, not compliment them. She understands I bust my butt at work and do all the heavy, outside labor around the house. My ex-American wife was always of the 'so what, but what did you do for ME today?'

73 posted on 09/11/2006 11:04:32 AM PDT by doc30 (Democrats are to morals what and Etch-A-Sketch is to Art.)
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To: doc30

I think the bottom line is that men want a partner, not a competitor.

And if that partner is a high-powered intelligent woman, she can make a damn fine business partner.

74 posted on 09/11/2006 11:04:36 AM PDT by Atlas Sneezed (Your FRiendly FReeper Patent Attorney)
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To: RobRoy
heh, heh. Babies? With a twelve year difference? ;)

61 minus 53 is 12?

(You may be right)

75 posted on 09/11/2006 11:04:38 AM PDT by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: FreeManDC

I'm laying in wait for the usual lecherous Henry Beecher to whine in the thread about the objects of his desire (other men's wives) being "barefoot and pregnant."


76 posted on 09/11/2006 11:05:29 AM PDT by familyop
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To: Paradox
Discussed on FR earlier, and I think the concensus was "Don't marry a b*tch!"

Is this man a closet FReeper?

77 posted on 09/11/2006 11:06:19 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (Dems - Your conduct is an invitation to the enemy, yet few of you have heart enough to join them.)
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To: martin_fierro

Ha! Reminds me of what my husband says when I'm chattering while he's trying to watch a game: "Woman, why don't you make yourself useful. Go fix me a sandwich or something."

Hey, just keep bringing those paychecks home. I can make sandwiches.

78 posted on 09/11/2006 11:06:21 AM PDT by Tired of Taxes (That's taxes, not Texas. I have no beef with TX. NJ has the highest property taxes in the nation.)
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To: Fawn

Practice in a mirror or something. Watch romance anime for tips.

79 posted on 09/11/2006 11:06:42 AM PDT by Gordongekko909 (Mark 5:9)
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To: All

I think one answer would be: In 1956, 1966 1976
How much of an income did a man have to make to support a family? (let's look at some TV families for instance)

Wife 3 kids and a dog? How much money did
Father's know Best make to support his family?

What about Ward Cleaver the Beav's dad? how much money for his family?

What about Mr Brady? he had an extended family and a maid on top of it? how much money did he bring in??

Fast forward to 2006 could most men afford to take care of a family like the ones of old? I would say proably Not...

80 posted on 09/11/2006 11:07:04 AM PDT by Judy Jetsun (Activan-Apply Directly to the Forehead x12)
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