Skip to comments.Climate change behind Duke rape case: UN's Ban [SATIRE]
Posted on 06/18/2007 5:56:47 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana
UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said that the Duke rape case fiasco was triggered by global climate change and that more such rapes may be on the horizon, in an article published Saturday.
"The Duke rape case began as an ecological crisis, arising at least in part from climate change," Ban said in a Washington Post opinion column.
UN statistics showed that rainfall had declined some 40 percent over the past two decades, he said, as a rise in temperatures disrupted the North Carolina rain season. "It is no accident that the rape in Duke erupted during the drought," Ban said in the Washington daily.
When there was enough rain, he said, black field workers made a good living. But when Global Warming began to affect the rainfall in the Duke area, wealthy field workers like Crystal Mangum were driven to find other jobssometimes prostitution.
"For the first time in memory, there was no longer enough food and water for Crystals children. So, being a good mother, she became an exotic dancer..
The UN must stop Global Warming, he said, so that more than two million people exotic dancers may return to the more lucrative work in the fields.
This is from The Onion, right?
This guy can’t be serious...
It makes about as much sense as anything else the Left and that gang that runs the U.N. have to say.
Okay...so this is satire, right?
Since this was a “fake” rape does that mean that global warming is “fake” as well????
Hmmmmmmmm....makes me think.....
Trim back this guy’s kimchee ration, quick.
The sad thing is that the left has grown so deranged that we can tell the parody from the real thing.
I enjoy reading good satire. but this guy isn’t very good; at all. First of all, it’s not funny.
I’m still trying to track down more on this story.
I did find this one, though. Sounds like we may
have a real cook at the U.N. helm.
I’ve asked several liberals what they hated so much about John Bolton. None of them seemed to know why they hated him, only that they did.
“The drought is not the fault of global warming. The fault lies with Texas.”
Now please tell them to turn it off. I’m a native Texan and not accustomed to getting wet in the summer.
They are buying this fraud, and they are trying to re-sell it to their viewership.
Why? Grants. This topic is getting funds for grants from the US government, from the EU, from the UN. Even Homeland Security Department is making available $$millions in grants to study Global Warming. Grants become lucrative endeavors.
It was Global Cooling in the 70s. It has been Global Warming for a while. And when Mother Nature doesn’t cooperate, they call it Global Climate Change. [Mother Nature has been been changing climate, twice a year, for eons. It slowly gets cold — it’s called winter. It slowly gets hot — it’s called summer.]
“For the first time in memory, there was no longer enough food and water for Crystals children. So, being a good mother, she became an exotic dancer..
“The UN must stop Global Warming,” he said, “so that more than two million people exotic dancers may return to the more lucrative work in the fields.”
Too funny; the sad thing is that many on left would actually believe something like this.
Wow. And we thought Kofi Annan was an embarrassment. The UN ambassadors should all be wearing burkhas to hide their faces.
You must not be a native to the Gulf coast, because this is normal.
The ONLY reason libs need to hate someone is that the someone is not a lib.
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