Skip to comments.Climate change behind Duke rape case: UN's Ban [SATIRE]
Posted on 06/18/2007 5:56:47 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana
UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said that the Duke rape case fiasco was triggered by global climate change and that more such rapes may be on the horizon, in an article published Saturday.
"The Duke rape case began as an ecological crisis, arising at least in part from climate change," Ban said in a Washington Post opinion column.
UN statistics showed that rainfall had declined some 40 percent over the past two decades, he said, as a rise in temperatures disrupted the North Carolina rain season. "It is no accident that the rape in Duke erupted during the drought," Ban said in the Washington daily.
When there was enough rain, he said, black field workers made a good living. But when Global Warming began to affect the rainfall in the Duke area, wealthy field workers like Crystal Mangum were driven to find other jobssometimes prostitution.
"For the first time in memory, there was no longer enough food and water for Crystals children. So, being a good mother, she became an exotic dancer..
The UN must stop Global Warming, he said, so that more than two million people exotic dancers may return to the more lucrative work in the fields.
This is from The Onion, right?
This guy can’t be serious...
It makes about as much sense as anything else the Left and that gang that runs the U.N. have to say.
Okay...so this is satire, right?
Since this was a “fake” rape does that mean that global warming is “fake” as well????
Hmmmmmmmm....makes me think.....
Trim back this guy’s kimchee ration, quick.
The sad thing is that the left has grown so deranged that we can tell the parody from the real thing.
I enjoy reading good satire. but this guy isn’t very good; at all. First of all, it’s not funny.
I’m still trying to track down more on this story.
I did find this one, though. Sounds like we may
have a real cook at the U.N. helm.
I’ve asked several liberals what they hated so much about John Bolton. None of them seemed to know why they hated him, only that they did.
“The drought is not the fault of global warming. The fault lies with Texas.”
Now please tell them to turn it off. I’m a native Texan and not accustomed to getting wet in the summer.
They are buying this fraud, and they are trying to re-sell it to their viewership.
Why? Grants. This topic is getting funds for grants from the US government, from the EU, from the UN. Even Homeland Security Department is making available $$millions in grants to study Global Warming. Grants become lucrative endeavors.
It was Global Cooling in the 70s. It has been Global Warming for a while. And when Mother Nature doesn’t cooperate, they call it Global Climate Change. [Mother Nature has been been changing climate, twice a year, for eons. It slowly gets cold — it’s called winter. It slowly gets hot — it’s called summer.]
“For the first time in memory, there was no longer enough food and water for Crystals children. So, being a good mother, she became an exotic dancer..
“The UN must stop Global Warming,” he said, “so that more than two million people exotic dancers may return to the more lucrative work in the fields.”
Too funny; the sad thing is that many on left would actually believe something like this.
Wow. And we thought Kofi Annan was an embarrassment. The UN ambassadors should all be wearing burkhas to hide their faces.
You must not be a native to the Gulf coast, because this is normal.
The ONLY reason libs need to hate someone is that the someone is not a lib.
“You must not be a native to the Gulf coast, because this is normal.”
We did live in Houston for 3 years, but most of my life has been in the panhandle and northcentral Texas.
Places where rain in the summer is indeed rare.
I hate what has become of the Weather Channel. I watched for an hour the other night waiting for the 7 day forecast, and all they had on was a show about a snowmobile accident. Then on Sunday before church, they ran through the 7 day so fast with a mini map so they could do a Home Depot feature about applying deck cleaner. The content to commercial ratio is sky high, and when they do have ‘content’ it is full of these ‘stealth commercials’. They cover global warming, weather stories, golf course stuff, allergy count, traffic reports, in short, everything but the weather.
For anyone who is a little slow on the uptake, this is a parody off or the UN’s statement that the problems in Darfur can be blamed on Climate Change.
How could ANYONE take the UN seriously??
C02 emissions began increasing during the latter half of the 19th Century, IIRC, so I felt compelled to point out what's really on his mind. No reason not to acknowledge a racist when we see one.
Wait till your Indian friend spends an August on the Texas coast.
He’ll feel like he’s back in New Delhi.
I can’t believe it’s not Scrappleface.
They hate John Bolton because he was actually acting in the USA’s interest when going to the UN - not the other way around, as they would prefer.
Here is another off the wall remark
Climate change behind Darfur killing: UN’s Ban
UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said that the slaughter in Darfur was triggered by global climate change and that more such conflicts may be on the horizon, in an article published Saturday.
“The Darfur conflict began as an ecological crisis, arising at least in part from climate change,” Ban said in a Washington Post opinion column.
UN statistics showed that rainfall declined some 40 percent over the past two decades, he said, as a rise in Indian Ocean temperatures disrupted monsoons.
“This suggests that the drying of sub-Saharan Africa derives, to some degree, from man-made global warming,” the South Korean diplomat wrote.
“It is no accident that the violence in Darfur erupted during the drought,” Ban said in the Washington daily.
When Darfur’s land was rich, he said, black farmers welcomed Arab herders and shared their water, he said.
With the drought, however, farmers fenced in their land to prevent overgrazing.
In an exclusive Sun interview, Mr Gore said: The G8 have been meeting in Germany and the United States is throwing a monkey wrench in the efforts to get a consensus.
The planet is in distress and all of the attention is on Paris Hilton. We have to ask ourselves what is going on here?
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