Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Climate change behind Duke rape case: UN's Ban [SATIRE]
Charleston Gazette Forums ^ | June 18, 2007 | Keli Kilohana

Posted on 06/18/2007 5:56:47 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said that the Duke rape case fiasco was triggered by global climate change and that more such rapes may be on the horizon, in an article published Saturday.

"The Duke rape case began as an ecological crisis, arising at least in part from climate change," Ban said in a Washington Post opinion column.

UN statistics showed that rainfall had declined some 40 percent over the past two decades, he said, as a rise in temperatures disrupted the North Carolina rain season. "It is no accident that the rape in Duke erupted during the drought," Ban said in the Washington daily.

When there was enough rain, he said, black field workers made a good living. But when Global Warming began to affect the rainfall in the Duke area, wealthy field workers like Crystal Mangum were driven to find other jobs—sometimes prostitution.

"For the first time in memory, there was no longer enough food and water for Crystal’s children. So, being a good mother, she became an exotic dancer.”.

The UN must stop Global Warming, he said, so that more than two million people exotic dancers may return to the more lucrative work in the fields.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: ban; mangum; nifong; un
If only Boosh had signed the Kyoto Protocol, Nifong would not be in this mess either.
1 posted on 06/18/2007 5:56:53 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

This is from The Onion, right?

This guy can’t be serious...


2 posted on 06/18/2007 5:59:45 AM PDT by iceskater
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

It makes about as much sense as anything else the Left and that gang that runs the U.N. have to say.


3 posted on 06/18/2007 6:00:04 AM PDT by Savage Beast (A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within.~Durant)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

Okay...so this is satire, right?


4 posted on 06/18/2007 6:03:27 AM PDT by Oberon (What does it take to make government shrink?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

Since this was a “fake” rape does that mean that global warming is “fake” as well????

Hmmmmmmmm....makes me think.....


5 posted on 06/18/2007 6:04:10 AM PDT by nevergore ("It could be that the purpose of my life is simply to serve as a warning to others.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oberon

Trim back this guy’s kimchee ration, quick.


6 posted on 06/18/2007 6:04:30 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (BTUs are my Beat.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Oberon
Okay...so this is satire, right?

The sad thing is that the left has grown so deranged that we can tell the parody from the real thing.

7 posted on 06/18/2007 6:05:46 AM PDT by Smedley (It's a sad day for American capitalism when a man can't fly a midget on a kite over Central Park)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana
It was on the Drudge site where this guy blamed Darfur on global warming.
John Bolton, where are you man ?
The lunatics are running the asylum.
8 posted on 06/18/2007 6:06:25 AM PDT by IrishMike ( What happens when aliens breed with sheep ? - Democrats)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana
The drought is not the fault of global warming. The fault lies with Texas. Texas has stolen all NC’s rain. Bush and Rove are from Texas and when the storm systems pass over Texas they are extracting all the moisture here. I have developed webbed toes from all the rain and my dogs have started to quack. so, as usual, it’s Bush’s fault.
9 posted on 06/18/2007 6:07:28 AM PDT by Ditter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

I enjoy reading good satire. but this guy isn’t very good; at all. First of all, it’s not funny.


10 posted on 06/18/2007 6:10:08 AM PDT by SeaHawkFan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: IrishMike
John Bolton, where are you man ?

Megabump! Sadly, I can't even tell you who our representative to the UN is since John left.
11 posted on 06/18/2007 6:12:24 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Oberon

I’m still trying to track down more on this story.
I did find this one, though. Sounds like we may
have a real cook at the U.N. helm.

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=070616212708.ymevxrx6&show_article=1&catnum=0


12 posted on 06/18/2007 6:12:54 AM PDT by Grendel9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Liberty Valance

I’ve asked several liberals what they hated so much about John Bolton. None of them seemed to know why they hated him, only that they did.


13 posted on 06/18/2007 6:16:04 AM PDT by cripplecreek (Greed is NOT a conservative ideal.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana
When there was enough rain, he said, black field workers made a good living. But when Global Warming began to affect the rainfall in the Duke area, wealthy field workers like Crystal Mangum were driven to find other jobs—sometimes prostitution. Is this a joke? Please tell me this is a joke.
14 posted on 06/18/2007 6:17:07 AM PDT by kalee (The offenses we give, we write in the dust; Those we take, we write in marble. JHuett)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ditter

“The drought is not the fault of global warming. The fault lies with Texas.”

Good one.

Now please tell them to turn it off. I’m a native Texan and not accustomed to getting wet in the summer.


15 posted on 06/18/2007 6:17:53 AM PDT by Mrs.Z
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana
Channel surfing yesterday afternoon, I happened to stop on The Weather Channel (for about 2 minutes). They had a full program on Global Warming, with mention of Kyoto, Kerry vs Gingrich, Gore, etc.

They are buying this fraud, and they are trying to re-sell it to their viewership.

Why? Grants. This topic is getting funds for grants from the US government, from the EU, from the UN. Even Homeland Security Department is making available $$millions in grants to study Global Warming. Grants become lucrative endeavors.

It was Global Cooling in the 70s. It has been Global Warming for a while. And when Mother Nature doesn’t cooperate, they call it Global Climate Change. [Mother Nature has been been changing climate, twice a year, for eons. It slowly gets cold — it’s called winter. It slowly gets hot — it’s called summer.]

16 posted on 06/18/2007 6:19:13 AM PDT by TomGuy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

“For the first time in memory, there was no longer enough food and water for Crystal’s children. So, being a good mother, she became an exotic dancer.”.

“The UN must stop Global Warming,” he said, “so that more than two million people exotic dancers may return to the more lucrative work in the fields.”

Too funny; the sad thing is that many on left would actually believe something like this.


17 posted on 06/18/2007 6:19:53 AM PDT by HereInTheHeartland (Never bring a knife to a gun fight, or a Democrat to do serious work...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

Wow. And we thought Kofi Annan was an embarrassment. The UN ambassadors should all be wearing burkhas to hide their faces.


18 posted on 06/18/2007 6:21:10 AM PDT by DustyMoment (FloriDUH - proud inventors of pregnant/hanging chads and judicide!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mrs.Z

You must not be a native to the Gulf coast, because this is normal.


19 posted on 06/18/2007 6:22:02 AM PDT by Ditter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: cripplecreek

The ONLY reason libs need to hate someone is that the someone is not a lib.


20 posted on 06/18/2007 6:22:11 AM PDT by Pharmboy ([She turned me into a] Newt! in '08)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Ditter

“You must not be a native to the Gulf coast, because this is normal.”

We did live in Houston for 3 years, but most of my life has been in the panhandle and northcentral Texas.

Places where rain in the summer is indeed rare.


21 posted on 06/18/2007 6:32:26 AM PDT by Mrs.Z
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: TomGuy

I hate what has become of the Weather Channel. I watched for an hour the other night waiting for the 7 day forecast, and all they had on was a show about a snowmobile accident. Then on Sunday before church, they ran through the 7 day so fast with a mini map so they could do a Home Depot feature about applying deck cleaner. The content to commercial ratio is sky high, and when they do have ‘content’ it is full of these ‘stealth commercials’. They cover global warming, weather stories, golf course stuff, allergy count, traffic reports, in short, everything but the weather.


22 posted on 06/18/2007 6:32:36 AM PDT by sportutegrl
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: sportutegrl

For anyone who is a little slow on the uptake, this is a parody off or the UN’s statement that the problems in Darfur can be blamed on Climate Change.


23 posted on 06/18/2007 6:40:29 AM PDT by teddyballgame (red man in a blue state)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

How could ANYONE take the UN seriously??


24 posted on 06/18/2007 6:42:12 AM PDT by Fawn (If it wasn't for FR, I'd be having an Existential MELTDOWN..............right now)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kalee
When there was enough rain, he said, black field workers slaves made a good living. But when Global Warming began to affect the rainfall in the Duke area, wealthy field workers like Crystal Mangum were driven to find other jobs—sometimes prostitution. Is this a joke? Please tell me this is a joke.

C02 emissions began increasing during the latter half of the 19th Century, IIRC, so I felt compelled to point out what's really on his mind. No reason not to acknowledge a racist when we see one.

25 posted on 06/18/2007 6:51:56 AM PDT by bcsco
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Mrs.Z
I thought so, the panhandle of Texas is like a whole other state. We have dry cycles here on the coast too. I was trying to explain this to a native of India the other day who thought our constant rain was evidence of climate change. I asked him why he thought I drove a Cheve Tahoe and have for many years. He said to carry my big family? I said No, it’s so I can drive through water in the street.
26 posted on 06/18/2007 7:04:05 AM PDT by Ditter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Ditter

Wait till your Indian friend spends an August on the Texas coast.

He’ll feel like he’s back in New Delhi.


27 posted on 06/18/2007 7:07:56 AM PDT by Mrs.Z
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

I can’t believe it’s not Scrappleface.


28 posted on 06/18/2007 7:08:00 AM PDT by NeoCaveman (http://dumplindseygraham.blogspot.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mrs.Z
He’s not a friend just the guy who works at the dry cleaners. Listen to this, he lived in Florida before moving to Houston because he didn’t like the Florida weather. Texas has everything Florida has only it gets hotter here. He didn’t seem to be the brightest bulb, but he did figure out how to get out of India.
29 posted on 06/18/2007 7:13:05 AM PDT by Ditter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: cripplecreek

They hate John Bolton because he was actually acting in the USA’s interest when going to the UN - not the other way around, as they would prefer.


30 posted on 06/18/2007 7:16:18 AM PDT by MrB (You can't reason people out of a position that they didn't use reason to get into in the first place)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: IrishMike

http://www.un.org/sg/


31 posted on 06/18/2007 7:19:06 AM PDT by Inquisitive1 (I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance - Socrates)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Inquisitive1

Here is another off the wall remark
.
.
.
Climate change behind Darfur killing: UN’s Ban
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=070616212708.ymevxrx6&show_article=1&catnum=0

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said that the slaughter in Darfur was triggered by global climate change and that more such conflicts may be on the horizon, in an article published Saturday.
“The Darfur conflict began as an ecological crisis, arising at least in part from climate change,” Ban said in a Washington Post opinion column.

UN statistics showed that rainfall declined some 40 percent over the past two decades, he said, as a rise in Indian Ocean temperatures disrupted monsoons.

“This suggests that the drying of sub-Saharan Africa derives, to some degree, from man-made global warming,” the South Korean diplomat wrote.

“It is no accident that the violence in Darfur erupted during the drought,” Ban said in the Washington daily.

When Darfur’s land was rich, he said, black farmers welcomed Arab herders and shared their water, he said.

With the drought, however, farmers fenced in their land to prevent overgrazing.


32 posted on 06/18/2007 9:34:02 AM PDT by IrishMike ( What happens when aliens breed with sheep ? - Democrats)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Inquisitive1

In an exclusive Sun interview, Mr Gore said: “The G8 have been meeting in Germany and the United States is throwing a monkey wrench in the efforts to get a consensus.

The planet is in distress and all of the attention is on Paris Hilton. We have to ask ourselves what is going on here?”

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2007280084,00.html


33 posted on 06/18/2007 9:37:11 AM PDT by IrishMike ( What happens when aliens breed with sheep ? - Democrats)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson