WHEN I WAS MARRIED 25 YEARS, I TOOK A LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID,"HONEY, 25 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.
BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLOND."
NOW WE HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, A NICE BIG BED AND APLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN.
IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."
MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLONDE.
SHE WOULD THEN MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.
AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS!
A woman is doing dishes and the the sink starts leaking. She asks her husband to please fix it. Her husband says, “Who do you think I am, a plumber?”
A few hours later a lightbulb in the hall goes out and she asks her husband to replace it because she cannot reach it. Her husband replies, “Who do you think I am an electrician?”
At the end of the evening they are on the front porch and the wife says, “by the way the front porch steps are broken.” The husband replies, “who do you think I am, a carpenter?”
The husband then proceeds to yell at his wife and leaves for the local bar. After a few hours of being at the bar the husband comes home to apologize.
Upon climbing the steps to the porch he notices that they are fixed. He enters the house, walks down the hall and discovers the lightbulb has been changed. He gets a drink of water from the sink and discovers it is no longer leaking. He finds his wife and asks her what happened.
The wife says, “Well, after you yelled at me I sat on the porch and cried. A man came up on the porch to see what was wrong and I told him the whole story. He offered to fix all the problems if I would bake him a cake or sleep with him”. The husband said, “What kind of cake did you bake him?”
The wife replied, “Who do you think I am, Betty Crocker?”