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Kangaroo farts could ease global warming
News.com.au and Agence France-Presse ^ | December 06, 2007 11:56am | Australia Herald Sun

Posted on 12/06/2007 12:59:22 AM PST by malamute

AUSTRALIAN scientists are trying to give kangaroo-style stomachs to cattle and sheep in a bid to cut the emission of greenhouse gases blamed for global warming, researchers say.

Thanks to special bacteria in their stomachs, kangaroo flatulence contains no methane and scientists want to transfer that bacteria to cattle and sheep who emit large quantities of the harmful gas.

-snip-

Even farmers who laugh at the idea of environmentally friendly kangaroo farts say that's nothing to joke about, particularly given the devastating drought Australia is suffering.

-snip-

(Excerpt) Read more at news.com.au ...


TOPICS: Australia/New Zealand
KEYWORDS: agw; cool; flatulence; freepun; geneticengineering; globalwarming; gore; junkscience; mankangaroopig; nais; nonais; rfid; thirdsector; thirdway
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1 posted on 12/06/2007 12:59:24 AM PST by malamute
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To: malamute

Y’know...this joke could practically write itself, yet I am getting nothing...


2 posted on 12/06/2007 1:02:12 AM PST by hoagy62 (Happily watching the Left go full-goose bozo.)
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To: malamute

It sounds like Mad Max world. What kind of joke is this?


3 posted on 12/06/2007 1:03:00 AM PST by Wiz
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To: malamute; Rennes Templar; LexBaird; mikrofon; martin_fierro; lowbridge; trooprally; Larry Lucido; ..
There's sheep dip. There's beef dip. DON'T confuse the two!

And now, there are "scientist" dips. Or they're dipping something.

Maybe I shouldn't be so cynical. Perhaps they really believe in their cause and are earnestly hopping to make a difference.






Pun for All and All for Pun....
Funners & Punners
ping list PING! (see keyword FReePun)
If you want either on or off
this family-safe occasional ping list,
you must be out of your minds....
(on or off requests, just FReepmail).


4 posted on 12/06/2007 1:17:50 AM PST by The Spirit Of Allegiance (Public Employees: Honor Your Oaths! Defend the Constitution from Enemies--Foreign and Domestic!)
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To: malamute

I wonder how Al Gore is gonna sell these carbon credits. I think I should get one for not growing sheep to start with.

The part about how this will make food digest more efficiently and require farmers to buy 15% less food is remarkable and significant. The impact of sheep farts on the climate... not so remarkable.


5 posted on 12/06/2007 1:22:34 AM PST by TN4Liberty (A liberal is someone who believes Scooter Libby should be in jail and Bill Clinton should not.)
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To: malamute

I’m just back from Australia, mate. Got me a jar of kangaroo farts to sell you for $19.95. 6 jars for $100.

Be the first on your block to be totally methane free. Hurry while supplies last.


6 posted on 12/06/2007 1:35:44 AM PST by Roy Tucker ("You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality"--Ayn Rand)
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To: malamute

Maybe a little more praying to God, and a little less playing God, might help with the drought situation.


7 posted on 12/06/2007 2:01:16 AM PST by HisKingdomWillAbolishSinDeath (Christ's Kingdom on Earth is the answer. What is your question?)
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance

These global warming articles make me jumpy too!


8 posted on 12/06/2007 2:23:02 AM PST by Enterprise (Those who "betray us" also "Betray U.S." They're called DEMOCRATS!)
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To: malamute; Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Oy.


9 posted on 12/06/2007 2:42:09 AM PST by DaveLoneRanger (May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white.)
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To: malamute

They could just attach inflatable inner tubes to their fannies and collect the stuff. Methane burns same as propane will.


10 posted on 12/06/2007 3:04:52 AM PST by TASMANIANRED (TAZ:Untamed, Unpredictable, Uninhibited.)
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To: hoagy62
The real joke is on the taxpayers I wonder how much someone gets paid to collect farts from various animals to test.

Now the question what kind of person chooses this for a job and how do you describe yourself at party's.

11 posted on 12/06/2007 3:07:25 AM PST by mouser (run the rats out its the only hope we have)
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To: malamute

“Tie me kangaroo down, sport...”


12 posted on 12/06/2007 3:07:30 AM PST by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: Beowulf; Defendingliberty; WL-law

~~Anthropogenic Global Warming ™ ping~~


13 posted on 12/06/2007 3:26:00 AM PST by steelyourfaith
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To: malamute

Hop! - fart
Hop! - fart
Hop! - fart

Hop! Hop! Hop!
Fart fart fart


14 posted on 12/06/2007 3:40:34 AM PST by Puddleglum
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To: malamute

I just couldn’t pass on this thread!


15 posted on 12/06/2007 3:43:34 AM PST by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink)
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To: malamute; All

How about infecting SHRILLERY KLINTOON’S STOMACH?

Every time she opens her mouth,

this stinky green ugly evil fog engulfs the area.


16 posted on 12/06/2007 3:57:31 AM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: HisKingdomWillAbolishSinDeath

Maybe a little more praying to God, and a little less playing God, might help with the drought situation.

= = =

INDEED.

Folks are going to learn in coming months and years that walking with God; seeking God first and praying earnestly ongoingly

WILL BE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

IN HARD COLD TERMS

IN THIS TIME/SPACE DIMENSION

NOW.

God is going to make many illustrations and object lessons about

MAN’S RELATIONSHIP with HIM.

The dark is getting darker and the light will be getting lighter.


17 posted on 12/06/2007 3:59:42 AM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: malamute

Skippy. Skippy.
Skippy the bush kangaroo
Skippy. Skippy.
Skippy your friend ever true


18 posted on 12/06/2007 4:27:00 AM PST by mtbopfuyn (I think the border is kind of an artificial barrier - San Antonio councilwoman Patti Radle)
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To: malamute; MotleyGirl70; Cagey
"Doin' my job."


19 posted on 12/06/2007 4:29:11 AM PST by Larry Lucido (Hunter 2008)
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To: Larry Lucido; Daffynition

20 posted on 12/06/2007 4:36:29 AM PST by Cagey (Many go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.......Thoreau)
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To: malamute; Daffynition

"I did what?????"

21 posted on 12/06/2007 4:39:08 AM PST by Cagey (Many go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.......Thoreau)
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To: Cagey

that about sums it up.

lol, looks like they are getting ready to light one up.


22 posted on 12/06/2007 4:41:37 AM PST by television is just wrong (deport all illegal aliens NOW. Put all AMERICANS TO WORK FIRST. END Welfare)
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To: malamute

Nothing a little Beano can’t solve.


23 posted on 12/06/2007 4:44:28 AM PST by dmw (Aren't you glad you use common sense? Don't you wish everybody did?)
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To: Cagey
Sniff! Sniff!


24 posted on 12/06/2007 5:29:06 AM PST by Daffynition (The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.)
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To: Grinder; Esther Ruth; freepatriot32; tiamat; Ladysmith; Alas Babylon!; Malacoda; vrwc0915; ...
>>>>AUSTRALIAN scientists are trying to give kangaroo-style stomachs to cattle and sheep in a bid to cut the emission of greenhouse gases blamed for global warming, researchers say.

Thanks to special bacteria in their stomachs, kangaroo flatulence contains no methane and scientists want to transfer that bacteria to cattle and sheep who emit large quantities of the harmful gas. <<<<<
-----------------------

Ok all, I know this sounds ridiculous and is ripe for jokes but at least read my post, ping it, then laugh later. Because THIS is actually frightening.

Genes and the products of genetic engineering can be patented and owned!

Let me say that ONE MORE TIME.

Genes and the products of genetic engineering can be patented and owned!

So, under the guise of Global Warming, if the junk science shows that whatever tinkering they do between kangeroos and cattle will benefit Global Warming, THAT will be the only cattle that will be permitted to be raised, produced, and owned. AND, whomever owns that patent will be the owners of that strain of cattle. JUST LIKE THE Monsanto and the gene-altered seeds and the "seed piracy" they claim when they destroy farmers crops.

25 posted on 12/06/2007 5:54:32 AM PST by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance

Perhaps they really believe in their cause and are earnestly hopping to make a difference...

...bewtween them and the kangaroos, there’s a whole lotta hopping going on out there...can’t you just see them, jumping up and down with resolute looks on their faces, trying so hard to convince...


26 posted on 12/06/2007 5:56:30 AM PST by IrishBrigade
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To: IrishBrigade; The Spirit Of Allegiance

Please read my post 25 before you leave this thread.


27 posted on 12/06/2007 5:58:52 AM PST by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1573646/posts
How do you say No NAIS in Japanese?

Say no to the National Animal Identification System (NAIS)

28 posted on 12/06/2007 6:01:00 AM PST by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: BGHater; fella; snowsislander

ping

and don’t leave this thread without reading my post 25.


29 posted on 12/06/2007 6:08:33 AM PST by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: Daffynition

LOL!


30 posted on 12/06/2007 6:17:36 AM PST by Cagey (Many go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.......Thoreau)
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance
Maybe I shouldn't be so cynical. Perhaps they really believe in their cause ...

You are not being cynical. How much they believe in their "cause" has nothing to do with science.

31 posted on 12/06/2007 6:18:35 AM PST by Just A Nobody (PISSANT for President '08 - NEVER AGAIN...Support our Troops! Beware the ENEMEDIA)
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To: Calpernia
Thanks! Now there is no need to ping you.
Folks need to wake up, and in a hurry.
32 posted on 12/06/2007 6:19:55 AM PST by Just A Nobody (PISSANT for President '08 - NEVER AGAIN...Support our Troops! Beware the ENEMEDIA)
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To: malamute

33 posted on 12/06/2007 6:21:58 AM PST by SlowBoat407 (Free commerce is the only just way to redistribute wealth.)
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To: Just A Nobody

Maybe no one sees the danger in having only ONE source of food?


34 posted on 12/06/2007 6:26:09 AM PST by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: Calpernia
Perhaps no one sees.....period!

Thank you for your continued great work on the issues.

35 posted on 12/06/2007 6:31:26 AM PST by Just A Nobody (PISSANT for President '08 - NEVER AGAIN...Support our Troops! Beware the ENEMEDIA)
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Companies like Monsanto like to patent genes:

http://nationalpropertyowners.org/nonais.html
How do you say No NAIS in Japanese?

Excerpt:

>>>Genes and the products of genetic engineering can be patented and owned. In 1980, two federal landmark decisions influenced the business side of biotechnology. A Supreme Court ruling allowed patents to be granted for genetically engineered organisms, processes of transforming cells and expressing proteins, and genes themselves. More recently, the Federal Circuit Court of Appeals reversed a Patent Office decision and ruled that DNA sequences that code for particular proteins are patentable.<<<

So, will this genetically modified bunny people be OWNED?

An entire breed of slaves?

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23369688-details/Scientists+to+create+’frankenbunny’+in+big+research+leap/article.do
Scientists to create ‘frankenbunny’ in big research leap

Scientists are planning to create a “frankenrabbit” by fusing together human cells with a rabbit egg.

It is hoped the “chimeric” embryos, which would be 99.9 per cent human and 0.1 per cent rabbit, could lead to breakthroughs in stem cell research which could one day cure diseases such as Alzheimer’s or spinal cord injury.

The embryos will allow scientists to perfect stem cell creation techniques without using human eggs.

“If we learn how to do this with animal eggs, we should be able to have more success with human eggs, and I’d much rather know that if we were going to ask women to donate eggs that we were very likely to get stem cells as a result,” said Chris Shaw, at the Institute of Psychiatry.

“We know this is a huge challenge after Dr Hwang in South Korea failed to get stem cells despite having 2,000 human eggs.”

Teams in London, Edinburgh and Newcastle are to submit application to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority this month, requesting licences to create embryos that will be 99.9 per cent human and 0.1 per cent rabbit or cow.

The HFEA is encouraging the applications after legal advice. The embryos will be allowed to grow for only 14 days, at which point they will be cells smaller than a pinhead.


From bunny people to BovHumans?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6121280.stm

UK scientists have applied for permission to create embryos by fusing human DNA with cow eggs.

Researchers from Newcastle University and Kings College, London, have asked the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority for a three-year licence.

The hybrid human-bovine embryos would be used for stem cell research and would not be allowed to develop for more than a few days.

But critics say it is unethical and potentially dangerous.

Stem cell research is one of the most promising areas of medical science.

They are the body’s master cells and five-day-old embryos are packed with them - each with the potential to turn into any tissue in the body.

It is this ability which scientists want to harness to treat diseases such as Parkinson’s Disease, strokes and Alzheimer’s Disease.

To do that, they need to have access to thousands of embryos for research.

Short supply

The problem is that human eggs for research are in short supply and to obtain them women have to undergo surgery.

That is why scientists want to use cows’ eggs as a substitute.

They would insert human DNA into a cow’s egg which has had its genetic material removed and then create an embryo by the same technique that produced Dolly the Sheep.

The resulting embryo would be 99.9% human, the only bovine element would be DNA outside the nucleus of the cell.

It would though, technically be a chimera, part-human, part-animal.

(snip)


36 posted on 12/06/2007 6:36:56 AM PST by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: Wiz
It sounds like Mad Max world.

"Who run Barter Town? Say louder!"


37 posted on 12/06/2007 6:40:14 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (Res firma mitescere nescit)
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To: malamute

This story seems really fart-fetched!

However, when the work day is over, the researchers can do the hop (a popular dance at one time). When they go back to work in the morning, I imagine their supervisor will tell them, “Hop to it!”

Maybe they will also find some dingo berry jam, for their breakfast toast. If they don’t, they may be SOL for breakfast.


38 posted on 12/06/2007 6:49:41 AM PST by punster
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance; AdmSmith; Berosus; Convert from ECUSA; dervish; Ernest_at_the_Beach; ...
Thanks to special bacteria in their stomachs, kangaroo flatulence contains no methane and scientists want to transfer that bacteria to cattle and sheep who emit large quantities of the harmful gas.
I feel like I've been pouched in the head -- how could we have overlooked this brilliant solution? ;')
39 posted on 12/06/2007 6:56:54 AM PST by SunkenCiv (Profile updated Wednesday, December 5, 2007 _________________https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: SlowBoat407

...and your animial’s byproduct is milk shakes, right?


40 posted on 12/06/2007 6:57:57 AM PST by Hot Tabasco (Visions of sugarplums dancing in your head are probably caused by bad drugs.....)
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance
There's sheep dip. There's beef dip. DON'T confuse the two!

There's cheese dip and there's cutting the cheese . . .

I'd be impressed if some scientist could prove that CO2 and Methane (NH4) interact with each other in the upper atmosphere under the catalyst of ultraviolet light. If it happened, we'd all be encouraged to fart a lot.

And eating beans baked over a campfire would be carbon neutral . . .

41 posted on 12/06/2007 7:05:18 AM PST by Tanniker Smith ("What are we doing tomorrow, Hil?" "Same thing we do every night, Bill, try to take over the world!")
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To: malamute
*sniff*...This thread stinks....but, we must all do our part. :D
42 posted on 12/06/2007 7:22:03 AM PST by skinkinthegrass (just b/c your paranoid, doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you....Run, FRed, Run. :^)
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To: SlowBoat407
"Is that a veal in your pouch or are you hoppy to see me?"
43 posted on 12/06/2007 7:27:43 AM PST by synbad600
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance
kangaroo.wmv (my bandwidth may run out soon)
44 posted on 12/06/2007 7:35:10 AM PST by Sender (You are the weapon. What you hold in your hand is just a tool.)
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance

Thanks for the ping! This thread is a gas and has brought everyone lots of joey!

On the serious side, I think we are seeing the global warming insanity level rising to new heights...


45 posted on 12/06/2007 7:43:16 AM PST by Rennes Templar ("The future ain't what it used to be".........Yogi Berra)
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To: malamute

Cool beans! So to speak... ;p


46 posted on 12/06/2007 7:53:24 AM PST by Reaganesque (Charter Member of the Romney FR Resistance)
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To: Roy Tucker
I’m just back from Australia, mate. Got me a jar of kangaroo farts to sell you for $19.95. 6 jars for $100.

You jest - but you could actually make $$$ - just get some empty canning cans and print up some labels.

Kangaroo Farts. Can capacity: 4 dozen farts worth 100 Carbon Credits. DO YOUR SHARE! Buy now. (The bearer of these cans will then be free to pollute at will, just like Gore and his Gang.)

Gore and Gang -= 10,000 of them - flew in private jets this past week to Bali for a GW conference. (Think of the massive amount of Carbon Credits they must've bought to offset the jet fuel and all that that little holiday cost.) Guess he didn't want to risk a repeat of their conference a couple years ago in New York that was canceled due to a blizzard.

In the meantime, I wish he'd send someone up here to my house and shovel some of the global warming off my porch and dig my car out.

47 posted on 12/06/2007 7:54:31 AM PST by maine-iac7 (",,,but you can't fool all of the people all the time" LINCOLN)
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To: malamute

Now there’s a title I never thought I’d see on FR.......


48 posted on 12/06/2007 8:03:31 AM PST by Hi Heels (Cleverly disguished as a responsible adult.)
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To: Calpernia

Why are you afraid of patents? A patent provides the right to exclude others from making, using, selling, offering for sale, or importing the patented invention for the term of the patent, usually 20 years from the filing date. 20 years is not a long time, and after that period you are free to use it without paying any fees.


49 posted on 12/06/2007 12:57:39 PM PST by AdmSmith
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To: dmw

Must be an Australian Jumping Beano...


50 posted on 12/06/2007 1:22:31 PM PST by Hegemony Cricket (You can't seriously tell me you think we need more laws, or that we don't already have too many.)
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