Posted on 01/22/2008 11:58:33 AM PST by Mr. Silverback
Note: This commentary was delivered by PFM President Mark Earley.
A woman—let’s call her Caroline—was 92 years old. She was dying, in agony, but Caroline’s pain was not physical. It was emotional. Caroline, you see, had been carrying a secret for more than 50 years: As a young woman, she had undergone two abortions, suffered terrible guilt all her life—and now, on her death-bed, afraid that God could not forgive her.
As her palliative-care nurse, Jean Echlin, writes, “At the end of her life she shared with me her agony over her lost babies . . . she felt that she had committed murder.”
Caroline is not alone, as Echlin writes in Perspectives 2007, a publication of the De Veber Institute for Bioethics and Social Research. Echlin also tells the story of a woman named Lydia, who was dying of cancer. Even with the use of a pain pump, which gave her steady doses of morphine, Lydia’s pain did not abate.
“I asked her if her faith or prayer could be of any comfort,” Echlin writes. “Lydia remained silent except for her moaning.” But the next day she confided the truth. “I can’t pray—God won’t listen,” Lydia said. “I killed a precious baby when I was 18 . . .” Lydia’s abortion had taken place more than 40 years ago—and she was still grieving over it.
Caroline and Lydia are but two examples of what the Institute calls an “unexpected correlation” between abortion and pain-relief care. Dying women experience unresolved guilt and psychological pain related to their abortion—guilt and pain that stand in the way of a peaceful death. Their guilt is so great, Echlin says, that it impedes the effectiveness of their pain medication. Only when the abortion issue is resolved—when someone listens to them and assures them of God’s forgiveness—is the pain medication made effective, and the women able to die peacefully.
This is dramatic testimony that abortion is not, as the abortion lobby claims, something women will “get over” in a week or two. It is evidence that we know inherently that we are made in the image of the God who gives life. When we do violence to that image—when we destroy life instead of nurturing it—it has a profound effect on our emotions, our psyche, and our souls.
Today, as we mourn the 35th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and the tens of millions of abortions that have resulted from this dreadful decision, we must recognize that there are likely many women among us who are silently suffering abortion grief decades after their babies’ lives were snuffed out. As the De Veber Institute notes, these women need our compassion, and their trauma should be recognized and acknowledged by their care providers.
As we comfort the dying, we must also help the living. We must make sure young women know the truth: that abortion takes a human life; that there are alternatives to abortion; and that there are people who will help them through a difficult, unplanned pregnancy.
And they must be told that the notion that they will simply “get over” an abortion is a bold-faced lie. The truth is that if they walk into that abortion clinic, they may still be feeling the agony over taking their baby’s life—even on their deathbed a half century later.
Not improbable at all. My mom had me at age 39 and my younger brother four years later.
Think of all the difficulties that could come with raising a child at that age that might convince you it was a good idea.
WHAT "difficulties"?? To be forty-two is not precisely to be on ones's deathbed. One might argue that someone of that level of maturity would have fewer "difficulties" than someone fourteen.
Humanistic thought is without principal or any real value. There are no absolutes, there are no boundaries, since it’s all man made and simply changed at whim to suit oneself. The humanist will use terms like “Situational ethics.” Anything can be argued and what it ultimately turns into is the pure pursuit of self gratification. Without God, human life has no value.
I have researched this extensively and the research shows that approximately 50% of the women who receive abortions suffer a type of post traumatic stress syndrome an average of 5 years after the procedure. I have spent many years as a volunteer in an abortion alternatives ministry of the Catholic Church. Almost all of the young women I counseled had been forced into an abortion decision by their parents. I don’t believe that Caroline is in minority based on my experience and research. Additionally, the Catholic Church has a very successful ministry in assisting women who have had abortions seek reconciliation. Project Rachael is at capacity every time it is offered here.
I don’t know if it’s fair to say that I made those points. I just collected information from other sources and posted it. From one of those sources in my post it’s clear that women have a number of reasons for aborting their children.
Not the least of which are men pressuring or manipulating them into it. That is not an excuse but it is part of the reality.
Absolutely!
People change. People learn may it be formally, or informally through simple life experiences. People often learn from their mistakes and regret bad past decisions. Some don’t find God until in the latter part of their life. However, I truly believe that only a small minority of women who have abortions truly ever reach such a point where they have any concept or even concern for what they did. Think about this, many of these women have “multiple” abortions in a lifetime. Why do you think?
“Almost all of the young women I counseled had been forced into an abortion decision by their parents. I don’t believe that Caroline is in minority based on my experience and research”
Good point, I hadn’t concidered that.
I can say from first hand experience that confession and repentance are the end to despair over this.
I'm not so sure about that. Read this link from my post.
The man should be the one to protect the family. He’s the one who was endowed with the capacity to mentally and physically do such. Instead he takes an insecure woman he got pregnant and pressures her into an abortion? Now that’s a real hero! Yuck-
“People who lack God in their life are dangerous”
I’d say so. The seventh graders at my daughters school prayed outside planned parenthood today and we’re heckled.
It’s so sad.
A lot of men that pressure women into abortions aren’t family at all. Just boyfriends. But many are husbands and some are fathers. The impregnator is not always the one doing the pressuring. There are also women friends and mothers that do it as well as fathers, husbands and boyfriends.
bumo
I hope you share your grief with a post abortive counselor.
Check out Rachel’s Vineyard.
I’d imagine that in all reality it’s a mixed bag of nuts. You’ll have various types with various agenda’s seeking to have an abortion.
Nonetheless, the woman also has a say, the ultimate say. Many are not young innocent children and a significant number have multiple abortions throughout their life. As with prostitution, there is this need to victimize the women, who in some cases really are the victims; but often are simply low lives seeing a buck and literally willing to do anything for it. Abortion is about money and business for those performing it. It’s about power and the politics of sex for those legislating it. It’s about covering up ones failures at another’s expense, someone who has no say and no political power, the unborn, for the ones having it done.
Maybe I’m a narrow minded heartless ass. It wouldn’t be the first time I was described as such. But for most of these women I feel less sympathy than disgust. They’re low-lives, the vermin that throws their legs apart and have a good time but then does not want to deal with the consequences. There are literally thousands who wish to adopt, like my co-worker. There are places unwanted children can be dropped off at; no questions ask (Hospitals, police and fire stations). There are many organizations that will help young, poor and the unwed. Medically there is seldom a reason for an abortion, and even the 2.8% is most likely a generous statistic. Even if you have no insurance, no healthcare from anywhere, there are a plethora of plans and programs (Federal and state) for poor and prenatal care. There is no excuse. It’s about convenience, esthetics, and concealment for those who have it done. It does not fit into their timeline right now. It does not look good if our social circle knows I gave a kid up for adoption, so I’d rather kill it.
I know where you’re coming from. I agree that their boyfriends, family, or husbands share the guilt. As aforementioned, I am aware that it’s a mixed bag of nuts (the girls that do this and their reasons). I completely agree that sometimes people change and later they have some epiphany where they realize, for whatever reason, “My God, what did I do?” But like a gun which does not shoot by its self, these girls don’t have abortions accidentally. They chose this action. They can’t say they didn’t know what it is. They probably had a waiting period. They had to sign papers and were fully cognoscenti of their actions. Sometimes guilt is deserving, and while the victimization of the woman is often the nice and gentle path, I’d say some simply fit the description of words that would get censored in this forum.
Abortion is the magic pill. It’s the get out of jail free card for 97% or more and most of the people who are morally so decedent won’t get fixed. They might feel remorse, especially later when they have children, or especially if they can’t. People also feel bad when they have a lot of debt; they also feel bad when in prison for murder or rape. There is a difference between feeling sorry for oneself, and understanding that what one did is wrong. I admit, I might be full of crap and this topic is not my forte. But I have a little more calloused picture of the women who do this, a family, boyfriend, or even husband that pushes her. Sorry-
Even if one denies the spiritual dimension, there’s no denying the power of the mind over the body, and as you pointed out, this can be exhibited in cases of grief. My Great-Grandmother tried to soldier on after her husband’s death, but a couple of weeks passed and she just slipped away.
Though you are right about the hedonistic nature of the culture, I think you’re way off on the regret aspect. Few if any women kill their child without major emotional reprecussions. You could see that just by watching the Silent No More contingent at the March for Life this year.
Good post.
Yep...imagine the emotional debris this Holocaust has caused.
Before my grandmother died int he 1970s, she was in a hospital room with another elderly woman.
I went to visit granny and asked how she liked her roomate.
Granny told me “That woman has done something awful in her life.” She said the woman was in mental agony, begging for forgiveness, constantly sobbing and begging for forgiveness.
Also I know someone who was married to a woman who had an abortion in England, before they were legal here. The woman later lost her mind, and would meet her husband at the door when he came home from work screaming at him “You told them, you told the TV and newspaper reporters.” She’d wave a newspaper at him and swear the stories in there were about her abortion.
I couldn’t imagine having to live knowing I had taken the life of an innocent child.
Thank you.
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