Skip to comments.Artist hanged herself after aborting her twins
Posted on 02/23/2008 3:16:44 AM PST by bad company
An artist killed herself after aborting her twins when she was eight weeks pregnant, leaving a note saying: "I should never have had an abortion. I see now I would have been a good mum."
Emma Beck was found hanging at her home in Helston, Cornwall, on Feb 1 2007. She was declared dead early the following day - her 31st birthday.
Her suicide note read: "I told everyone I didn't want to do it, even at the hospital. I was frightened, now it is too late. I died when my babies died. I want to be with my babies: they need me, no-one else does."
The inquest at Truro City Hall heard that Miss Beck had split up with her boyfriend, referred to as "Ben" after he "reacted badly" to the pregnancy.
She saw her GP before the termination, but missed an appointment at a hospital in Penzance. She then cancelled, but later turned up to an appointment at a clinic at Royal Cornwall Hospital in Treliske. The counsellor was on holiday so a doctor referred Miss Beck to a pregnancy counselling telephone service eight days before carrying out the abortion when she was eight weeks pregnant, the inquest heard.
The coroner, Dr Emma Carlyon, ordered that the identities of the doctor who performed the abortion and her lead consultant be kept secret.
The inquest heard that Sylvia Beck, the victim's mother, wrote to the hospital after her daughter's death, saying: "I want to know why she was not given the opportunity to see a counsellor.
"She was only going ahead with the abortion because her boyfriend did not want the twins.
"I believe this is what led Emma to take her own life - she could not live with what she had done."
The doctor said: "I discussed Emma's situation with her, and wrote on the form, 'Unsupported, lives alone, ex-partner aware'.
"It is normal practice to give a woman the number for telephone counselling when a counsellor is not available.
"I am satisfied that everything was done to make sure that Emma consented to the operation.
She added: "We have since appointed more counsellors so there is more holiday cover."
Katie Gibbs, Miss Beck's GP, told the hearing: "She was extremely distressed by the abortion procedure, and I didn't think she ever came to terms with it.
"She had a long history of anxiety and depression. Despite my best efforts, she was not willing to see a counsellor after the termination."
Her boss at the clinic, said: "The time that can be given to a woman by a counsellor is limited in a busy hospital.
"I am satisfied everything was done to make sure Emma was consenting to surgery. I don't feel there was any gap in the counselling service.
"There were lots of individuals who would be alert to any doubts. The comments made by Emma's mother are not about a doctor I recognise."
Mrs Beck told the court: "Emma was considered a talented artist, and sold a number of paintings.
"She was pleased when she became pregnant, but Ben reacted badly to the news."
Recording a verdict of suicide, Dr Carlyon said: "It is clear that a termination can have a profound effect on a woman's life.
"But I am reassured by the evidence of the doctors here."
An effort must be made to find this "Ben" and hound him into madness.
She didn't "kill her children"...didn't you read the article? The "Doctor" said it was just "an operation". So she must have been just providing for the heath care needs of her fetuses, right?
Not executioners. Murderers.
Britons are thirsty for Christ, but the State does everything possible to suppress Christianity and boost Islam, Anglican leaders proclaim the coming of Sharia, and Muslims are given welfare for multiple wives.
What a sad story. This probably happens far more often than is ever reported.
Prayers for that poor woman and for her “boyfriend” - that he will repent.
It also lets men off th hook. Her “lover” is still alive, and will live to knock up more women, and he will object to other women having his children. Before abortion was legal, guys married the women. Not now. Did these two stupes every think about using protection?
It sounds like Britain needs a number of Ugandan and Nigerian missionaries, then.
Ben isn't the first guy to run out on his obligations, but he didn't cause any abortions. When you state she "was forced to kill her children," you lie. Maybe that rationalization works for you but it is damaging to civilization to distort reality that way.
No one put a gun to this woman's head. Her own mental problems contributed to her failure to protect her young from herself, but the decision was her responibility. The availability of "doctors" and "counsellors" to collude with and encourage her decision only provided opportunity for her to do what she wanted to do at the time.
That poor woman.
He'll go round to the pub, have a pint or two, and then it's on to the next bird....no flies on Ben....
The decision was HERS. That’s the point. We all make our choices, for better or for worse. She has to live with what she did... or in her case, she chose not to live with it. SHE chose abortion, and then SHE chose death.
“What a sad story. I hope this poor soul has found some kind of peace.
May her butcher accomplices be tormented by the blood on their hands until the day they die.”
My feelings, exactly.
Bingo. My ex told me the day abortion was made legal, that he was “off the hook.”
I truly believe that he was not in full consent of his will at the time of his death. Sounds the same with your mom.
I'm curious, what makes you think that?
Profound grief and regret do strange things to people. Mercy and compassion are also godly qualities.
Confession time. When I was young I impregnated 3 young ladies at different times (having no sense of personal responsibility, having no moral compass to guide me, having bought wholly into the feel-good philosophy of the age.) Each pregnancy and relationship was terminated via abortion. How matter of fact the decision to abort was arrived at varied somewhat in each case, yet the ultimate decision was the same—abort, abort, abort. No resistance from me. I was totally on board with the idea (how easy for me it made all things!)
Going in to the clinic was a bit numbing (on one occasion I actually overslept and was awakened by a frantic call from my then girlfriend wondering where I was. I fully understood why she dumped me shortly after! I would have dumped me, too.) On the other two occasions, we sat together, not saying a word. I marvelled at the blank faces, the nervous giggling among friends, the tight-lipped stone faces of parents with their teens all waiting for their turn at the table. With each call, a separation, a wave of the hand, a doubtful look of uncertainty, a permanent change.
Coming out from the procedure, my semi-anesthetized, soon-to-be exes came out, hunched over, doped up, uncommunicative. I had no idea of what was going through their minds at the time other than the sense that what it was was troubling. For my part, I was isolated, confused as to what to do, lacking for anything that would help, comfort, offer anything in the way of hope. It was as if some great rift had immediately descended between we two. The quiet ride home. The separation to allow for recovery. The subsequent clumsy conversations to try to return to our relationship (at the time, I had no idea it was already irrevocably over.) A few days, a couple of weeks, empty talk, something missing, senseless arguing, inexpressible feelings, onslaught of confusion all worked their woe and we parted company.
Years later at college I was given an impromptu speech test as part of my admissions requirement. I had to come up with something that I could discuss extemporaneously for 3-5 minutes (and something I thought was going to be trendy, provacative enough to captivate this assessor of mine.) I spoke on the damage of abortion to human relationships.
Like this woman, I too, long to see my 3 “little ones” (the definition of the term “fetus”) and to express to them joy at finally being able to see them, hold them, touch them. They are in the better place right now, not me. I do not say that to excuse anything, to justify anything, to minimize anything. I was a party to their murder! Like the woman in this story, if I were to have thought about it long and hard enough back then, my conscience may not have let me go. Those times when I did reflect on it, I was deeply grieved over what I had done. But it wasn’t until I came to Christ that my remorse became more fully focused. I had sinned against God! I had offended Him. Yes, I had helped take human life, but in doing so, I had gone against God’s will for my life and all life. So, too, with each of my sins (none being more egregious than any other in HIS sight). When I came to Him with this remorse, it was then I received the mercy and forgiveness that permeates all the way to the conscience. I stand before Him pardoned now. Some here may feel that a full pardon is not in order. That’s okay. I have come to realize that sin’s consequences are sometimes long-term. But in God’s eyes, my sin is forgiven. Not because I wanted it to be (though I did), but because He paid for it.
I don’t know if I will need to apologize to my yet unknown children when I see them in Heaven (the Bible talks about Christ having paid the penalty for sin—even ones like these, and that there are no tears in Heaven), but if I need to, I will.
“Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.” - Robert Heinlein
"............I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asks for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.
"If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come. If I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot."
(Translated from the Greek)
Ben can now move on because he has no baggage anymore....it all worked well for him. I am certain this will haunt him forever though...this isn't your typical breakup...
Don’t get me wrong, I admire the English very much, especially the 20th century English, but they need a new dawn of understanding of who they were. Part of their cultural heritage is Christianity, and they desperately need a reconnect.
God isn't looking for us to be perfect. He's already found that perfection in our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus who made a Perfect sacrifice. One's personal sins are never as important as what our Lord Jesus Christ did on the Cross about our sins.
Repentence is simply turning back. The focus of our thinking whenever we sin, is simply on anything other than God through faith in Christ. We never sin while we are remaining in fellowship in God by believing in Him through faith in Christ.
Repentence is turning back to God. It isn't emotional. It isn't based upon our promises not to sin again. Our basis with God is upon His grace, not upon our merit or lack thereof. He doesn't base His grace upon our actions, past, present, or future, but rather upon the work of Christ on the Cross. That is the cornerstone of our faith.
The Apostle Paul used the verb hamartano when he wrote, For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).
When we sin, we fall out of fellowship with Him because we have exercised our volition independent of remaining faithful through Christ. Once this occurs, we haven't changed the will of Soverign God. He remains immutable, but we have changed ourselves. We haven't changed His sealing of our salvation, rather we change our thinking and perception of that relationship with God.
6 For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a certain fearful expectation of judgment and a zeal of fire that will consume the adversaries. 28 Anyone who has set aside the Law of Moses dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much more severe punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the son of God, and has regarded as common the blood of the covenant by which he was made holy, and has insulted the Spirit of grace? 30 For we know him who said, "Vengeance is mine; I will repay" (Deut 32:35). And again, "The Lord will judge his people" (Deut 32:36). 31 It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
The saved believer who falls into sin, does so first by exercising his own volition independent of faith through Christ. Accordingly, that person isn't believing in God through faith in Christ at the time of that sin. This doesn't remove the past sealing of God the Holy Spirit. That sealing is completely performed by the volition and Sovereign decision of God which can never be changed.
This doesn't mean though, that we don't now view our relationship with Hm differently. Now from our perspective, there remains no sacrifice for sin, therefore we simply have a fearful expectation of judgment and fiery condemnation.
So what is the solution?
The same solution for any problem we ever encounter in life for all eternity, first we believe in God through faith in Christ.
How do we do that after we already had salvation and we turn away?
Simple, we simply face God again. That is all repentence is. Repentence focuses on God, not the sin. Focusing on the sin and our guilt merely places our thinking in a situation where we are judging ourselves independently of faith through Christ. The Adversary loves it when a believer, with all the magnificient gifts of the Holy Spirit, turns away from God and begins to eat himself alive in guilt and remorse over things in the past. God, however remains faithful and true in His sanctification process of His children.
If we remain in sin, he simply disciplines us. If we further remain in sin, then He typically may discipline us with consequences seven times more severe.
The solution is simply to turn back to Him, i.e. refocus on God the Father, through faith in God the Son. Then while facing Him, confessing our sins through faith in Christ.
1st John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
When we confess our sins, known and unknown, while facing God the Father through faith in Christ, we end up back in fellowship with God the Holy Spirit, so that He is then in a position to freely exercise His grace and further sanctify us as we study His Word.
Thinking there is some sin we've performed is so heinous that God won't forgive us of it is fallacious. (He knew all the sins each of us would ever perform at the very moment we first believed in Him through faith in Christ and He sealed us at that very moment. Christ also died for all of our sins, not just those we think He might cherrypick from the list.)
God is faithful in forgiveness. God's faithfulness means there are no exceptions; no sin is too bad, heinous, or evil. God always does exactly the same thing on the basis of the work of Jesus Christ on the Cross. One's personal sins are never as important as what our Lord Jesus Christ did on the Cross about our sins.
What appears to have occurred here is hamartophobia.
1. Fear that one will commit or has committed some grievous error or unpardonable sin.
2. An excessive fear of committing errors or sins or of doing the wrong thing and being condemned for it.
Thank you for writing. Some people think men are not affected or damaged by abortion. I consistently argue otherwise. There are so many walking wounded, male and female, from this legal horror, and many of them would not have chosen that path if it was not legal. Legal makes it seem like it’s okay.
I have a close relative who suffers with the knowledge that he did nothing to prevent his ex-girlfriend from having an abortion. He has, over the years, become a recluse. He has become unable to maintain friendships or family relationships. He told me of the image he sees replayed over and over in his mind- of his baby in a bucket, and how he failed to even try to stop her. He knows she might not have listened, but he lives with the guilt of not even trying.
I have had friends who had recurring nightmares where they heard their babies crying during the night, and one who felt her baby’s hands around her neck, as if holding her. One credited her abortion with the reason she had trouble containing her rage against a subsequent child.
If I may, I would urge you to speak publicly, to other men, about this, and about how it has harmed you, the women, and your children. I know more and more people are going public, to try and prevent others from choosing that path.
Your healing can be deeper and more consoling than it has been. I would urge you to pray that God shows you the fullness of his revelations, and the way to the fullnes of His Truth.
Well written and obviously deeply felt.
I don’t believe you are thinking.
It is also known as despair-a failure to believe one can receive the Mercy of God.
I suppose I experienced some of what your friend felt when he did nothing to try to prevent abortion. Mine was the inaction of a moral relativist who chose not to look beyond his own personal expediency. The choice to abort made life simpler for me at the time (Oh, how small my view of time was just then!) Some of what plagued me was my willingness to not think things through beyond my own selfishness. Time has given me the chance to reflect, realize, repent, and grow (somewhat) from all this.
I haven’t gone before any groups (wouldn’t even know how to contact these groups.) I do share with anyone who cares to listen when the topic comes up/the occasion calls for it. I have found that, like myself back then, the willingness to listen (to one’s own inner voice or the voice of another) determines whether a message will be received. Many (especially young people) are conditioned today to be self-sufficient, equipped with the same moral-relativism that I was possessed of back then.
As to experiencing God’s grace to move beyond remorse, He affords me that opportunity each and every moment (”Jesus loves me, this I know...”) When I live my life in the knowledge of His presence, I know I am forgiven. In fact, I become less, He becomes greater, so I see less of myself and more of Him. The enemy, of course, seeks to undo all that and, so, provokes my mind (my flesh) to dwell on the horrible nature of my sin and, in so doing, seeks to undo and confound the grace of Christ through things like guilt and remorse. When I let him (the enemy) do this, he has his tiny victory (he can have no ultimate victory though—”Lifted up was He to die, It is finished was His cry, Now in Heaven exalted high, Hallelujah! What a Savior!”
We dwell here (awaiting His return) freed from the penalty of sin, given grace to withstand the power of sin, but still in the presence of sin. One day, this will change also and we shall be united with Him totally freed from all that sin can plague us with. This woman’s sad story is a testimony not just to the horrible nature of abortion, but to the terribleness of sin (how it brings forth death!) Lives are ruined and destroyed. Sorrow, emptiness, guilt, remorse are its effects on the inner being of Man. The grave is its end.
“O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Heartbreaking. Prayers for this woman’s soul.
Many of the women we hear about on the news who kill their children have had abortions in their lives. Susan Smith is an example of that. She had at least one abortion prior to giving birth to her two boys. Although I don’t know this for a fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the woman in Texas who drowned her children in the bathtub had had an abortion sometime in her life. What happens is that once a woman has an abortion, in order to alleviate the tremendous guilt they feel, they do not bond with future children, because if they did, they would then have to bond with the child they killed.
Also, the mindset sets in that if it’s OK to kill the child in the womb, then it must be OK to kill the children outside of the womb.
Many women who have unexplained mental illnesses may also be experiencing tremendous guilt over the killing of their unborn children. Margot Kidder, who played Lois Lane in the Superman movies, was found wandering incoherent in some field several years ago. She had suffered some sort of mental collapse. She was one of the women highlighted in a book in 1989 about movie stars who had abortions.
Again, I have no proof of this, but it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that Britney Spears had had one. She fits all the signs. The timing of her mental collapse seems to coincide with the birth of her children. Also, her actions are all centered around the children in some way.
I am not a psychologist, but my husband and I have done counselling of pregnant women contemplating abortions. Sometimes we were successful and sometimes we weren’t. One woman in particular working with us who had an abortion herself 19 years earlier one day had a complete emotional collapse and completely abandoned her 2 children she had years later. There is more of this that goes on than we will ever know. As soon as I hear of a woman going berserck and killing her children for no apparent reason, the first though that goes through my mind is I wonder if she ever had an abortion.
Very poignant song, given the thread. I remember when Clapton’s son died and the press (typically) looked for his reaction. The emptiness, the shatteredness that he exhibited was almost painful to see (as with any parent who has lost a child—what could be worse?)
In the OT story of David and Bathsheba, he ultimately repents of his sin of adultery and God reveals to him (through Nathan, the prophet) that he will be forgiven, but that the son born to them will die. David fasts and prays and grieves over this for several days, after which his on dies. When hearing of his son’s death, he stops grieving, cleans himself up. His men, curious about his reaction ask him about this and he responds,
“While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”
You write very eloquently of your journey to God. There are so many things you could do, but perhaps writing of your choices and regret is the way in which God will use you. You might even manage to pull some others, especially men, from the path to despair.
I pray for my relative, and urge him to trust in God’s mercy, but he refuses to believe God will forgive him. Until he embraces God’s mercy himself, there is little I can say or do, other than pray, to change his path.
I strongly recommend you contact Father Frank Pavone, of Priests for Life.
There are many people, and many groups, working in coordiantion with Priests for Life, to end abortion, and aid in assisting others who have walked your walk.
Pax et Bonum.
I truly believe it was the absolute act of penance. She is with God and her babies..or else there is no God.
desperation Look up desperation at Dictionary.com
c.1366, from L. desperationem, noun of action from desperare “lose hope” (see despair). Desperate (adj.) is attested from 1483, of persons, “despairing, hopeless,” from L. desperatus “given up,” pp. of desperare. In ref. to conditions, recorded from 1555; of an undertaking, from 1642.
despicable Look up despicable at Dictionary.com
Failure to remain in faith in Christ by leaving the Hope He provides.
Yup, I sure did misunderstand your post. I assumed
despair: to be without hope.
There are variations, of course, and its original meaning refers to a loss of hope in God and His mercy.
Wish there was some way to reverse the murder-suicide sequence.
Serious words to live by. To be sure.
“Artist hanged herself after aborting her twins”
So....murder AND suicide? Yep, she’s likely in hell.
She claimed they forced her?
For the men:
When a woman is pregnant, she is emotional, no matter how favorable her circumstances. If her circumstances are difficult, she will be prone to outside pressure. If she is not strong, and does not get support from people around her, she can succumb to pressure. If she is surrounded by people who pressure her to abort, she is vulnerable to that pressure.
May God have mercy on her soul.
I’ve been no saint but I have accepted Jesus Christ as my savior years ago and corrected my wayward ways.
Whether or not I go to heaven is in the hands of GOD and me at this point. I just have to keep trying to help others and live right.
think so eh?
Well, I stand by my assertion....
Looking at how we, as a nation, now define Christian and Christianity, I would have to say that we, like Europe, Canada, and much of the rest of the world are now post Christian.
But that is only my conclusion from observation and reading, I would not care to argue the point.
Another liberal sees the light and can’t bear the truth. Had she only seen a little earlier three people would still be alive. Perhaps the lives would be a struggle but isn’t all life a struggle.