Skip to comments.The Guys' Rules
Posted on 04/18/2008 7:38:55 AM PDT by Gopher Broke
The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear ' the rules' From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... These are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
The problem with painting all women with the same brush is they all end up the same color.
Now all women have similar features but no sane man will ever tell a woman,” Oh you’re just like so and so.”
You Jill, are a stuning woman and I am over come by your individuality and great good looks, except for that one small flaw but really it’s nothing.
Oh **** no.
"Harpies." LOL I don't think you even see the amusing irony of your post.
Let's see....Canadian...Libertarian...and your post.
Rule number one nails it.
"If they are having all those problems, they need a different woman."
And come now, let's not get into a national stereotyping contest. Americans are far too vulnerable, given their ridiculous (though lovable) shortcomings.
And when I call myself a libertarian, it is in the classical liberal sense, not as some pot-smoking hippie on the right.
Three strikes nuthin', to use your tired, parochial American sports metaphor.
I think he took a heaping side of pompous with that IQ, don’t you agree?
OK, take 20 minutes to rest then.
Awwww....you poor thing. I shall not ridicule you further. It must be difficult enough going through life with that small problem of yours. :)
Yep. Standard behavior for someone with an inferiority complex. I feel more pity than anything else. ;-)
This is the best advice my father ever gave me about relatinonhips with women.
yo don't have to win every battle. You just have to win the war.
"Small problem"? Are you really that immature? Anatomical put-downs? Good grief, what has happened to mature discourse in this society?
“Never argue with a woman - you’ll always lose. They don’t need logic the way we do.” — Eddie Murphy ;)
Don’t argue. Just do it her way. One way or another, you’ll end up doing it her way, anyway...
And if it doesn’t work, never, ever say “I told you so.”
Actually, the moment the woman - or any other person - departs from logic, she has already lost the argument. You need to value logic more - stick to it and you’ll stop losing arguments with women. ;-)
Let it go. You lost and made a a$$ of yourself.
Learn something from it and move on.
When someone clings to something the way you're doing, resurrecting a silly argument several days after he has been humiliated and the argument has died, it just looks...pathetic.
Have some self-respect, man.
That is “one” funny piece.
The Tactic of the Indirect Approach, Basil Hart was a genius.
All you gals don't believe me? Ask Allegra!
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