Posted on 10/27/2008 9:29:28 AM PDT by crymeariver
Dear Red States:
If you manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war. We are going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.
We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy people believe you have higher moral standards then we lefties.
Peace Out,
Blue States
Dear Blue States,
Do you promise?
Don’t let the door hit you in the butt...
Red States
I think we should switch the colors.
dear blue states:
good riddance and kiss the fattest part of my ass.
It’s a deal. See ya!
More people voted for Bush in California than voted for Bush in Texas.
We get all the food.
We get all the farm land and oil.
You get Detroit.
I suppose they would govern “New California” like they do in the real California. Might they get the same results? California is a state that is an example of what results you get when liberalism is practiced
I only wish they could go
“85% of america’s venture capital and entreprenuers” should have a blast serving this inbred market
This does illustrate the values and people they feel so scornful of
Sounds good to me.
Bye
Give me one good reason why. Just one.
They actually get squat with 70-80% of the country’s industrial base is in the south as is most of the nation’s military might. We can separate and then conquer the blue states back and then politically cleanse them.
You might also remind them that secession is illegal, or so the argument behind the Civil War went.
Walter Williams says that the tally of secession is that once it was acceptable (when we broke from England) and once it was not (when the southern states tried to break away).
If the nation does break up, I would almost expect Texas to become it's own nation once again. It already has it's own power grid, unlike the rest of the nation.
Dear Blue States,
We have the guns, you don’t. Please give us the excuse to use them.
Red States
From your mouth to God’s ears, hippie, may it happen just as you say!!
Dear Blue States,
You go ahead and repeal your 2nd Amendment. We’ll keep ours.
Red States
We'll have all the guns and ammo.
You will be invaded by Mexico.
Good luck with that.
You mean you'll kill kids for a fountain of youth. India already offers stem cell treatments. They aren't working well.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.