Posted on 10/28/2008 1:36:48 PM PDT by econjack
THIS SIGN WAS PLACED ON THE EMPLOYEE ENTRANCE DOOR TO A BUSINESS AND ALSO SENT TO NEIL BOORTZ THIS MORNING, WHICH HE READ.
CHANGES IN THE WORKPLACE
As of November 5, 2008, IF Obama officially becomes president-elect, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:
1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are under-achieving a "fair shake".
2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst you. This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.
3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." We will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law doesn't apply to us.
4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all".
5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread the wealth around". Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic".
6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?).
If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.
Business change bump.
Could we please stop posting these stories over and over?
Just don’t read it. I for one am tired of the Freeper police getting off on commenting on articles that may have been published before that they have already been published. It isn’t like he/she tried to trick you with the headline. You knew what it was and still opened it just so you could comment that it was posted before. Good grief...some of you really need to get a life.
Thank you for posting. I had not seen this before and am glad that I did.
Don’t know how to scroll past these stories? It’s pretty easy to learn :-).
Thanks for posting! This thank-you note has been posted before, but I am posting it again.
Thanks econjack. I hadn’t seen it yet either. Will share with coworkers.
Let’s all hang together. Stressful times for sure; but divided we fall and all that.
This was the first time I had seen this posted today and I have skim read all of the postings today.
When the power grid goes down you won’t be able to say “black out”.
Duplicate threads happen, the search function doesn't always work well -- especially when posters change the title. But after it's posted 3 or 4 times, it gets old.
I'm particularly tired of the "I gave the waiter's tip to the homeless guy" story. It's probably been posted 20 times.
You knew what it was and still opened it just so you could comment that it was posted before.
Yes, I opened it and commented on it, hoping to convince some of you that stories like these aren't newsworthy. On the other hand, there are a lot of legitimate articles that ARE newsworthy, and they are getting lost in the noise. The website is holding up better these days, but during the peak periods this kind of stuff just unnecessarily adds to the load.
Good grief...some of you really need to get a life.
As do those that post these kind of inanities, thinking they are interesting.
Could someone re-post that one? I didn't see it.
OK, that's the best laugh I've had today. :-)
And you owe me a new keyboard.
I will submit your claim to the bail-out committee. If they won't handle it, I will send it to the obama committee. They are sure to handle it, because it would only be fair.
Could someone re-post that one? I didn’t see it.
Ok, a homeless guy and Obama go into a bar.
The bartender says, “ Who let that bum in here?”.
The homeless guy says,”I don’t know why don’t you ask him?”.
Badaboom.
Sorry...I did a keyword search first but it didn’t come up.
See my post 17 to #2.
No apology necesssary. Such pieces are hard to find with a search feature that seldom works as it should.
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