Skip to comments.Apology Thread
Posted on 07/23/2010 8:47:03 PM PDT by vbmoneyspender
In the old days, when someone wanted you to apologize it was for something you had done to them. And the way it worked was they would ask you for an apology and you would tell them to go screw themselves. But we live in a new age where apologies are done differently. Nowadays, the way apologies work is that you demand that someone you don't personally know apologize to someone else that you don't personally know. This is another form of modern outsourcing and, as such, has become quite the rage in the more technologically sophisticated areas of the United States.
As a result, in order to keep up with the times, I am creating this Apology Thread and starting it off with my own demands for apologies from people I have never met. First, I demand that George Lucas apologize to Star Wars fans for writing and directing Stars Wars Episodes 1, 2 and 3 and that he further apologize to movie fans in general for producing Howard the Duck. Second, I demand that Norm Coleman apologize to the good people of the state of Minnesota for losing to Al Franken in the 2008 senatorial race. And because this race had national implications, Norm Coleman may want to consider expanding his apology to include the citizens of all these United States. Third, I demand that Madonna apologize to Kabbalah worshippers for joining their religion and thereby making a mockery of it.
Now that I have issued my apology demands, I would like to invite my fellow freepers to issue their own apology demands to people they don't know.
And lastly, because I don't want this post to end on a purely negative note, I would like to personally thank Mitchell Mortaza for founding the Women's Lingerie Football League. Mitchell, if you are reading this, I just want to say "Never Give Up! Never Surender!"
First I ever heard of him was on the soap opera, General Hospital. He was on for a few months in the late ‘70’s just as the whole Luke & Laura affair was heating up.
Set off my gaydar immediately, though I will admit buying his first diet book.
I apologize for that!!
(Did you feel the need to shower after working on his car??)
Well, by implication, because of your skin color, regardless of whether your ancestors were even in this country when slavery was practiced but instead were virtual slaves themselves in the "old country", you are still guilty.
So, suck it up and out with the apology. And while you're at it, get out the pocket book and fork over the financial reparations that you don't owe.
Could we have the mods apologize for simply not zotting them?
No not really but I did do a something rude with the stuffed animal to the delight of my co workers (Simulated of course)
I apologize for not pinging you to this thread.
I have an excuse!
I demand that all FReepers who’ve EVER posted that picture apologize to the rest of the world for the pain and suffering caused.
And while they’re at it, financial restitution is required. I’ll be setting up a Pay Pal account to collect the funds......
Don’t forget those same people who wore the leisure suits must apologize for those white loafers and belts. I am still offended by that.
I, on the other hand, have nothing to apologize for as I have led a clean and spotless life! (really I have) :”)
I’ve already heard that there is concern US citizens are using non-paper, non-plastic, reusable shopping bags that are unsanitary and may present a danger to other US shoppers. Maybe we need to start a new thread.
Good job, man!! We salute you. :-)
Thought you all might enjoy this.
I got a kick out of it, too.
Just not a priority for me to play at the moment.
Now THERE’s an idea for border security.
Norm Coleman did not lose the election, so no apology from him is necessary.
That he has multiple personalities is not so troubling as the fact that every one of them is repulsive.
Yea.... but what about “Throw Momma from the Train”?
>> The person that created the vuvuzela (or whatever its called) should apologize to the whole world.
And only AFTER the apology do we call in the proctologist to extract that six-pack of ‘em.
I apologize for not getting on this thread earlier.
Yeah! We could call it "Sap & Trade!"
Buenos Dias, Senior Word Smith.
(just wondering if this thread can go all weekend. Great concept)
I demand the Carnahans of Missouri apologizing for stealing the Show me State’s oxygen..
Oh, hell. I demand that you apologize for posting that. I have not laughed so hard in days! My ribs hurt so apologize now, dammit.
LOLOL! Thanks for the ping!
Sorry for laughing.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
John / Billybob
I'm sorry.... NOT !
Fire up the belt sander!
I absolutely demand an apology for the Who’s performance at the last Super Bowl!
noone man, but you should apologize for posting it, lol..........
gross,grosss,gross, i will never eat another veggie, or watch him again thanks to you...lol......,apologize for that
Mea Culpa. :-)
I would very much like an apology from a college professor of mine in journalism who told me to drop out if I didn't want to wake up in time to attend class.
Joke's on him. They graduated me anyway.
I'd also like an apology from Jacob Arminius. He screwed up the Reformation completely...almost. All to impress his father-in-law.
I'd like Seinfeld to apologize that he ended his show, and I'd like Ellen to apologize that she got another one.
While on the subject, I'd like whoever made Ellen the spokesperson for Cover Girl Make-up to have their head examined. She's the husband, for Pete's sake. Husbands don't wear make-up.
This feels really good. I'm going to have to apologize to all of you because I just might spend a lot of time adding to this list.
I want a big mea culpa from the electric company. My bills are ridiculous.
I want an apology from Macy's for increasing my credit limit.
I want an apology from someone for my shoe size. 10 1/2 narrow is not easy to find.
I've waited for years to get an apology from our sons' middle school who taught them how to put a condom on a banana without my permission. They now get all their potassium from orange juice.
I want an apology from google because every time I search "Calvin" the first 50 or so hits are negative.
I want an apology from all the obituary writers who said Michael Crichton was a pulp fiction author.
I'll get back to you...
Buy your shoes on-line, I prefer the NIKE 312630-14.
Wonderful, Dr. E!
And thank you!
I’d like an apology from the braindead administrator in the publishing industry who decided the short story wasn’t worth publishing anymore.
Gratias tibi ago :-)
loved what you wrote on your homepage by the way, :-)
oh, oops this is not a post for that, for that i apologize, :-) lol.........
LOL.... great demands
I would like the mid-to-late 70’s to apologize for bad architecture, fashion, furnishings, TV shows and hairdos.
Someone needs to apologize for disco.
I’m sorry I’m not 40 acres and a mule.
I want Britt Hume to apologize for turning his Sunday show over to that sniveling leftist Wallace wienie.
On the same note about editors:
I want an apology from the “Readers Digest” for not publishing my submission “101 Ways to Wok Your Dog”.
Then there are these:
I demand Sonic Drive-ins apologize for now offering those healthy wrap sandwiches and doing away with fried taquitos.
Willie Nelson needs to apologize to C&W fans for growing old.
My non-smoking friends need to say “sorry” for inhaling my nicotine on my dime and start buying their own.
The IRS needs to atone and apologize for all those forms the sorry a$$e$ make us file. Sorrier, the 1099. Fess up!
I’m sorry for this personal rant.