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Apology Thread
7/23/2010 | vbmoneyspender

Posted on 07/23/2010 8:47:03 PM PDT by vbmoneyspender

In the old days, when someone wanted you to apologize it was for something you had done to them. And the way it worked was they would ask you for an apology and you would tell them to go screw themselves. But we live in a new age where apologies are done differently. Nowadays, the way apologies work is that you demand that someone you don't personally know apologize to someone else that you don't personally know. This is another form of modern outsourcing and, as such, has become quite the rage in the more technologically sophisticated areas of the United States.

As a result, in order to keep up with the times, I am creating this Apology Thread and starting it off with my own demands for apologies from people I have never met. First, I demand that George Lucas apologize to Star Wars fans for writing and directing Stars Wars Episodes 1, 2 and 3 and that he further apologize to movie fans in general for producing Howard the Duck. Second, I demand that Norm Coleman apologize to the good people of the state of Minnesota for losing to Al Franken in the 2008 senatorial race. And because this race had national implications, Norm Coleman may want to consider expanding his apology to include the citizens of all these United States. Third, I demand that Madonna apologize to Kabbalah worshippers for joining their religion and thereby making a mockery of it.

Now that I have issued my apology demands, I would like to invite my fellow freepers to issue their own apology demands to people they don't know.

And lastly, because I don't want this post to end on a purely negative note, I would like to personally thank Mitchell Mortaza for founding the Women's Lingerie Football League. Mitchell, if you are reading this, I just want to say "Never Give Up! Never Surender!"


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: apology; chat; napl; notnews; vanity
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To: al baby

First I ever heard of him was on the soap opera, General Hospital. He was on for a few months in the late ‘70’s just as the whole Luke & Laura affair was heating up.

Set off my gaydar immediately, though I will admit buying his first diet book.

I apologize for that!!

(Did you feel the need to shower after working on his car??)


151 posted on 07/24/2010 6:57:43 AM PDT by KosmicKitty (WARNING: Hormonally crazed woman ahead!!)
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To: Vince Ferrer
And what if that person didn't even actually commit the act he is supposed to apologize for? For instance I haven't yet gotten around to apologizing for all those slaves I never owned.

Well, by implication, because of your skin color, regardless of whether your ancestors were even in this country when slavery was practiced but instead were virtual slaves themselves in the "old country", you are still guilty.

So, suck it up and out with the apology. And while you're at it, get out the pocket book and fork over the financial reparations that you don't owe.

152 posted on 07/24/2010 6:58:11 AM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: shibumi
Maybe we should dedicate this thread to having all the blogpimps apologize to all the contributing FReepers for ripping off the site we support with their crass, self-serving, piggy-back schemes.

Could we have the mods apologize for simply not zotting them?

153 posted on 07/24/2010 7:01:29 AM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: KosmicKitty

No not really but I did do a something rude with the stuffed animal to the delight of my co workers (Simulated of course)


154 posted on 07/24/2010 7:03:05 AM PDT by al baby (Hi Mom sarc ;))
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To: Slings and Arrows

I apologize for not pinging you to this thread.

I have an excuse!


155 posted on 07/24/2010 7:04:12 AM PDT by TheOldLady (Milk carton picture: My Tagline -- MISSING!)
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To: lonevoice

I demand that all FReepers who’ve EVER posted that picture apologize to the rest of the world for the pain and suffering caused.

And while they’re at it, financial restitution is required. I’ll be setting up a Pay Pal account to collect the funds......


156 posted on 07/24/2010 7:08:17 AM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: FourPeas

Don’t forget those same people who wore the leisure suits must apologize for those white loafers and belts. I am still offended by that.

I, on the other hand, have nothing to apologize for as I have led a clean and spotless life! (really I have) :”)


157 posted on 07/24/2010 7:11:19 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: dixiechick2000

I’ve already heard that there is concern US citizens are using non-paper, non-plastic, reusable shopping bags that are unsanitary and may present a danger to other US shoppers. Maybe we need to start a new thread.
Happy Saturday


158 posted on 07/24/2010 7:11:39 AM PDT by WestwardHo (Whom the god would destroy, they first drive mad.)
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To: al baby

Good job, man!! We salute you. :-)


159 posted on 07/24/2010 7:11:47 AM PDT by KosmicKitty (WARNING: Hormonally crazed woman ahead!!)
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To: Quix; greyfoxx39; WKB; TigersEye; pandoraou812; 50mm; darkwing104; BykrBayb; little jeremiah; ...

Thought you all might enjoy this.


160 posted on 07/24/2010 7:13:48 AM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: metmom

I got a kick out of it, too.

Just not a priority for me to play at the moment.

Thx.


161 posted on 07/24/2010 7:20:39 AM PDT by Quix (THE PLAN of the Bosses: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/religion/2519352/posts?page=2#2)
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To: metmom
Hey, I like posting that picture. I demand an apology. Photobucket
162 posted on 07/24/2010 7:34:44 AM PDT by Clay Moore (The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of a fool to the left. Ecclesiastes 10:2)
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To: Clay Moore

Now THERE’s an idea for border security.


163 posted on 07/24/2010 7:39:31 AM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: vbmoneyspender
I demand an apology from Metallica for St. Anger and about everything since then.
164 posted on 07/24/2010 7:44:39 AM PDT by mad_as_he$$ (Playing by the rules only works if both sides do it!)
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To: vbmoneyspender
Second, I demand that Norm Coleman apologize to the good people of the state of Minnesota for losing to Al Franken in the 2008 senatorial race. And because this race had national implications, Norm Coleman may want to consider expanding his apology to include the citizens of all these United States.

Norm Coleman did not lose the election, so no apology from him is necessary.

165 posted on 07/24/2010 8:10:01 AM PDT by Colonel_Flagg (No apologies.)
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To: xzins

That he has multiple personalities is not so troubling as the fact that every one of them is repulsive.


166 posted on 07/24/2010 8:18:04 AM PDT by Erasmus (Personal goal: Have a bigger carbon footprint than Tony Robbins.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Yea.... but what about “Throw Momma from the Train”?

LOL


167 posted on 07/24/2010 8:20:24 AM PDT by Danae (If Liberals were only moderately insane, they would be tollerable. Alas, such is not the case.)
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To: justsaynomore

>> The person that created the vuvuzela (or whatever it’s called) should apologize to the whole world.

And only AFTER the apology do we call in the proctologist to extract that six-pack of ‘em.


168 posted on 07/24/2010 8:32:02 AM PDT by Nervous Tick (Eat more spinach! Make Green Jobs for America!)
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To: shibumi

I apologize for not getting on this thread earlier.


169 posted on 07/24/2010 8:34:40 AM PDT by humblegunner (Pablo is very wily)
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To: TomasUSMC; dixiechick2000
"an apology bank......somebody has got to be on this idea ready right?"

Yeah! We could call it "Sap & Trade!"

170 posted on 07/24/2010 8:39:27 AM PDT by SierraWasp ("Contempt of Congress" used to be a minor crime. Now it's a badge of honor!!!)
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To: shibumi

Buenos Dias, Senior Word Smith.

(just wondering if this thread can go all weekend. Great concept)


171 posted on 07/24/2010 8:42:52 AM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it.)
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To: vbmoneyspender

I demand the Carnahans of Missouri apologizing for stealing the Show me State’s oxygen..


172 posted on 07/24/2010 9:02:53 AM PDT by cardinal4 (Can someone explain what a "Diversity Job" is?)
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To: al baby
LMAO... now that's sorry!
173 posted on 07/24/2010 9:06:47 AM PDT by glock rocks (Wait, what?)
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To: expatguy

Oh, hell. I demand that you apologize for posting that. I have not laughed so hard in days! My ribs hurt so apologize now, dammit.


174 posted on 07/24/2010 9:15:34 AM PDT by Xenalyte (Yes, Chef!)
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To: xzins

LOLOL! Thanks for the ping!


175 posted on 07/24/2010 9:17:50 AM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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To: expatguy

LOL.

Sorry for laughing.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.


176 posted on 07/24/2010 9:31:19 AM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it.)
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To: Eaker
stick bundler

LOL!!

177 posted on 07/24/2010 9:37:29 AM PDT by cardinal4 (Can someone explain what a "Diversity Job" is?)
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To: Ditter
White shoes and a white belt are an outfit of their own, with a name. That is called a “full Cleveland.” While we're on the subject, someone needs to apologize for Cleveland.

John / Billybob

178 posted on 07/24/2010 9:42:03 AM PDT by Congressman Billybob (www.TheseAretheTimes.us)
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To: Xenalyte

179 posted on 07/24/2010 9:43:22 AM PDT by expatguy (Support "An American Expat in Southeast Asia" - DONATE)
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To: Xenalyte

I'm sorry.... NOT !

180 posted on 07/24/2010 9:49:03 AM PDT by expatguy (Support "An American Expat in Southeast Asia" - DONATE)
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To: shibumi

Fire up the belt sander!


181 posted on 07/24/2010 10:32:42 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Danae

No comment.


182 posted on 07/24/2010 11:17:38 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: vbmoneyspender

I absolutely demand an apology for the Who’s performance at the last Super Bowl!


183 posted on 07/24/2010 12:02:48 PM PDT by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it. Those who truly support our troops pray for their victory!)
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To: GRRRRR

lol................


184 posted on 07/24/2010 12:15:17 PM PDT by sunbird (not enough people say what they mean, and mean what they say.)
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To: expatguy

noone man, but you should apologize for posting it, lol..........


185 posted on 07/24/2010 12:17:55 PM PDT by sunbird (not enough people say what they mean, and mean what they say.)
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To: KosmicKitty

gross,grosss,gross, i will never eat another veggie, or watch him again thanks to you...lol......,apologize for that


186 posted on 07/24/2010 12:19:33 PM PDT by sunbird (not enough people say what they mean, and mean what they say.)
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To: sunbird

Mea Culpa. :-)


187 posted on 07/24/2010 1:41:13 PM PDT by KosmicKitty (WARNING: Hormonally crazed woman ahead!!)
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To: xzins; vbmoneyspender; P-Marlowe; blue-duncan; Alamo-Girl; betty boop; RnMomof7; the_conscience; ...
lol.

I would very much like an apology from a college professor of mine in journalism who told me to drop out if I didn't want to wake up in time to attend class.

Joke's on him. They graduated me anyway.

I'd also like an apology from Jacob Arminius. He screwed up the Reformation completely...almost. All to impress his father-in-law.

I'd like Seinfeld to apologize that he ended his show, and I'd like Ellen to apologize that she got another one.

While on the subject, I'd like whoever made Ellen the spokesperson for Cover Girl Make-up to have their head examined. She's the husband, for Pete's sake. Husbands don't wear make-up.

This feels really good. I'm going to have to apologize to all of you because I just might spend a lot of time adding to this list.

I want a big mea culpa from the electric company. My bills are ridiculous.

I want an apology from Macy's for increasing my credit limit.

I want an apology from someone for my shoe size. 10 1/2 narrow is not easy to find.

I've waited for years to get an apology from our sons' middle school who taught them how to put a condom on a banana without my permission. They now get all their potassium from orange juice.

I want an apology from google because every time I search "Calvin" the first 50 or so hits are negative.

I want an apology from all the obituary writers who said Michael Crichton was a pulp fiction author.

I'll get back to you...

Sorry.

188 posted on 07/24/2010 2:39:35 PM PDT by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: Dr. Eckleburg

Buy your shoes on-line, I prefer the NIKE 312630-14.


189 posted on 07/24/2010 2:41:39 PM PDT by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west)?)
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To: Dr. Eckleburg; xzins; vbmoneyspender; P-Marlowe; blue-duncan; Alamo-Girl; RnMomof7; ...

Wonderful, Dr. E!

And thank you!


190 posted on 07/24/2010 2:48:06 PM PDT by betty boop (Those who do not punish bad men are really wishing that good men be injured. — Pythagoras)
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To: Dr. Eckleburg

I’d like an apology from the braindead administrator in the publishing industry who decided the short story wasn’t worth publishing anymore.


191 posted on 07/24/2010 2:51:42 PM PDT by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it. Those who truly support our troops pray for their victory!)
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To: KosmicKitty

Gratias tibi ago :-)


192 posted on 07/24/2010 3:08:25 PM PDT by sunbird (not enough people say what they mean, and mean what they say.)
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To: KosmicKitty

loved what you wrote on your homepage by the way, :-)

oh, oops this is not a post for that, for that i apologize, :-) lol.........


193 posted on 07/24/2010 3:14:13 PM PDT by sunbird (not enough people say what they mean, and mean what they say.)
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To: Dr. Eckleburg

LOL.... great demands


194 posted on 07/24/2010 3:55:20 PM PDT by RnMomof7 (sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me)
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To: vbmoneyspender

I would like the mid-to-late 70’s to apologize for bad architecture, fashion, furnishings, TV shows and hairdos.


195 posted on 07/24/2010 4:01:12 PM PDT by P.O.E. ("Now who's being naive, Kaye?" - M. Corleone)
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To: rabidralph

Someone needs to apologize for disco.


196 posted on 07/24/2010 4:06:11 PM PDT by OwenKellogg (Don't Tread on Me)
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To: goodnesswins

I’m sorry I’m not 40 acres and a mule.


197 posted on 07/24/2010 4:06:39 PM PDT by lonestar (Barry is furious the big spill wasn't caused by EXXON...would have nationalized it by now.)
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To: P.O.E.

and music.


198 posted on 07/24/2010 4:07:20 PM PDT by justsaynomore (Eventus stultorum magister)
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To: justsaynomore

I want Britt Hume to apologize for turning his Sunday show over to that sniveling leftist Wallace wienie.


199 posted on 07/24/2010 5:04:04 PM PDT by csmusaret (A government that can dictate how much water flows into a toilet is a powerful government indeed.)
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To: xzins

On the same note about editors:

I want an apology from the “Readers Digest” for not publishing my submission “101 Ways to Wok Your Dog”.

Then there are these:

I demand Sonic Drive-ins apologize for now offering those healthy wrap sandwiches and doing away with fried taquitos.

Willie Nelson needs to apologize to C&W fans for growing old.

My non-smoking friends need to say “sorry” for inhaling my nicotine on my dime and start buying their own.

The IRS needs to atone and apologize for all those forms the sorry a$$e$ make us file. Sorrier, the 1099. Fess up!

I’m sorry for this personal rant.


200 posted on 07/24/2010 5:26:41 PM PDT by JouleZ (You are the company you keep.)
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