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Understanding Your Husband's Sexual Needs
Focus on the Family ^ | 8-13-10 | Juli Slattery

Posted on 08/13/2010 9:26:35 AM PDT by Controlling Legal Authority

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To: Siena Dreaming
the pursuit toward self-improvement on the part of a man is very satisfying for a woman.

Perhaps that's one ingredient to my stable marriage. I've never been one to just find a comfortable plateau and settle in there. I'd never thought of that being a satisfaction for my wife, but I can see that it might be.

141 posted on 08/13/2010 6:51:08 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: Amberdawn
That situation is a terrible one and I can’t imagine how hard it would be. One can only hope that couples can reach some agreement that improves things.

After over twenty years and several kids, my wife and I still manage to have sex several times a week. Part of it might be that when I'm sexually happy I'm in a better mood and more likely to give her what she wants. She loves me enough to ensure I stay in a good mood.

142 posted on 08/14/2010 4:52:16 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Public healthcare looks like it will work as well as public housing did.)
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To: PapaBear3625
They don't divulge their real feelings to their wives, to keep the peace and for the sake of the kids.

Well said, FRiend.

I've been working out 4-5 days a week for the past several months. There's a fitness center next door to my office building, and my company pays for 80% of the fee. Although I've lost only 5 pounds or so, my clothes fit better and I feel great. I've still got a bit of a spare tire, but I no longer hear "when's the baby due?"

I get comments from my wife's family, female co-workers, but none from my wife.

So be it...the last 5-6 years have been tough on our marriage (economic reasons), and I take responsibility for that.

I've also come to grips with the fact, that with my wife, "it's never enough". I'll help around the house, but it's never done to her complete satisfaction.

So, it comes down to this: my youngest son is 8 YO, and I can see that he is a very special kid. I'll put up with all the BS and no spousal intimacy just to be with him every day.

BTW, I feel that way about his two older siblings, too. And I put up with the BS, because I was not going to allow them to be raised by another man.

I'm not asking for sympathy, either. I've made my share of mistakes (adultery isn't one of them) that I take responsibility for. I accept my life for what it is, and enjoy my kids, my work, and other pursuits such as teaching Old Testament to 6th graders at my parish.

143 posted on 08/14/2010 5:25:59 AM PDT by Night Hides Not (If Dick Cheney = Darth Vader, then Joe Biden = Dark Helmet)
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To: Night Hides Not
I've also come to grips with the fact, that with my wife, "it's never enough". I'll help around the house, but it's never done to her complete satisfaction.

Of course not. Your income will likely never be enough to satisfy her either. If it were enough and satisfactory, then she would owe you something in exchange. As long as what you do is deemed unsatisfactory, then she is free to accept it and not deem it necessary to work at making you happy.

Guilt over inadequacy is a VERY old method of manipulation, and it will work as long as you choose to play her game.

Once again, I invite male freepers to take a look at Roissy's blog. Feminists spend a lot of time casting their disdain at it, but he makes some good points about women -- which is why some women hate the blog passionately.

144 posted on 08/14/2010 5:45:42 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Public healthcare looks like it will work as well as public housing did.)
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To: colorcountry

Good for you! You must be one of the 30%. I was just being silly to you, you know.


145 posted on 08/14/2010 1:57:10 PM PDT by Amberdawn
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To: Windflier

The only thing I’d improve on her at this point is her figure. I really miss her pre-maternal body.

About six months of total workout 8 hours a day and 150K in plastic surgery should clear that up.

Just spend some cash guy, sitters and surgery and personal trainers.


146 posted on 08/14/2010 5:03:52 PM PDT by Chickensoup (I am absolutely done. I am a conservative libertarian.)
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To: Chickensoup
About six months of total workout 8 hours a day and 150K in plastic surgery should clear that up.

Slim chance of that in this economy.

We just watched a show the other day about moms who are trying to get back into shape after childbirth. Like my wife, they were all rough cases. Ladies with 40 or more pounds of baby fat that just will not go away on its own.

My wife broke down in tears watching that show. But they spent a considerable amount of time showing women how to take control and begin the process of restoring their bodies to more optimum health. Lots of exercise and diet ideas, and positive thinking. It was all good, and I think she's motivated now to do something about it.

147 posted on 08/14/2010 5:56:22 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: Windflier

Many women lose weight breastfeeding. Most of the lucious moms in my area do that combined with breast surgery after the last baby.


148 posted on 08/14/2010 6:24:18 PM PDT by Chickensoup (I am absolutely done. I am a conservative libertarian.)
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To: Chickensoup
Many women lose weight breastfeeding.

My wife breast fed all four of ours for up to a year and a half, each. I thought for sure they'd suck the baby fat right off of her, but it never made any difference.

My mom had seven kids in ten years, and never breast fed any of us, but the baby fat dropped right off her after every birth. When I was a teenager, guys were still whistling at her on the street.

I've got two sisters that are moms. One is like our mom, and she dropped every ounce of baby fat after her kids were born. My other sister is like my wife. She blew up like a house with her kids, and has never regained her former size.

Like our mom, neither of them breast fed their kids.

Personally, I think that some women simply have a genetic predisposition to stay heavy after childbirth.

149 posted on 08/14/2010 6:58:04 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: Chickensoup; Windflier
About six months of total workout 8 hours a day and 150K in plastic surgery should clear that up.

My mom was pretty slim not too long after having me, from childhood pictures. Then again, that was back when people did a lot more walking. She would walk to the subway station, and then from the subway to work, then repeat the process going home. The pounds come off.

I know a number of women who went back to their pre-pregnancy figures within a year of giving birth. It's much easier when you're in your 20s and still have your youthful metabolism. You also need to want it.

150 posted on 08/14/2010 6:59:43 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Public healthcare looks like it will work as well as public housing did.)
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To: PapaBear3625
My mom was pretty slim not too long after having me, from childhood pictures. Then again, that was back when people did a lot more walking.

I believe that steady physical exertion can help a woman recover her figure after childbirth, but not all women have to work for it. Some, like my mom, are just predisposed to shed those pounds. She had seven kids in ten years, and never had the opportunity to walk much, but for her, it didn't matter. Even after my baby sister came, my mom could still fit all of her old clothes, and even wore a bikini at the beach.

My wife, on the other hand, is one of those who has to work for it. I've been gently nudging her to get on a walking program for years, but she's resistive. She'll do it for a few days, and then drop off. I'll probably have to start myself, just to inspire her.

151 posted on 08/14/2010 7:09:15 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: Windflier
My wife, on the other hand, is one of those who has to work for it. I've been gently nudging her to get on a walking program for years, but she's resistive. She'll do it for a few days, and then drop off. I'll probably have to start myself, just to inspire her.

Having somebody to do it with is an important motivator, and can make it fun.

152 posted on 08/14/2010 7:12:29 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Public healthcare looks like it will work as well as public housing did.)
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To: PapaBear3625
Having somebody to do it with is an important motivator, and can make it fun.

The last time she tried, she and my 12 year old daughter teamed up every morning for a walk. That didn't last because the neighbor kids and all the dogs kept following them.

Sheeesh... I told her that we'll get on a walking schedule together after the weather cools off. You know the old saying; "if you want something done..."

153 posted on 08/14/2010 7:35:18 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: call meVeronica

bump 4 l8r


154 posted on 08/15/2010 10:18:16 AM PDT by call meVeronica
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To: Randy Larsen

LOL! Thanks (I think) ;)

Nice to see you, Randy. Hope all is well.


155 posted on 08/15/2010 5:50:42 PM PDT by Twink
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To: Controlling Legal Authority

Thank God for no tub in the middle of nowhere pics.....only horses use those....I mean come on, who fills them and how do they fill them??????? stupid frikkin commercial, I hate it


156 posted on 08/15/2010 6:40:08 PM PDT by MadelineZapeezda (Promoted by God to be a mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...................Thanks, Susan!)
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To: Twink

I’m fine, thought you’d get a kick out of that one!

Stay safe!


157 posted on 08/15/2010 7:41:34 PM PDT by Randy Larsen ( BTW, If I offend you! Please let me know, I may want to offend you again!(FR #1690))
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To: PGR88
They are both the objects and beneficiaries of man's desire.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)

LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

158 posted on 08/15/2010 7:45:12 PM PDT by LonePalm (Commander and Chef)
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To: chris_bdba
I'll remind SweetiePalm about that.

'La bonne cuisine est la base du véritable bonheur.' - Auguste Escoffier
(Good food is the foundation of genuine happiness.)

LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

159 posted on 08/15/2010 8:07:09 PM PDT by LonePalm (Commander and Chef)
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To: Randy Larsen

I did. Just a bit hesitant to comment. Don’t want to get in trouble, lol.

So a little comment. Intimacy is very important. For both! lol. Sex is a big part of intimacy. Sexual intimacy is wonderful, fun, intense for both parties.

Of course men think about sex often. Don’t women? I sure do. Maybe not as much or in the exact same way as men but no doubt about it, it’s an important part of my marriage and intimacy for me. And, it’s a fun part too.

It’s awesome. I don’t understand women/wives who aren’t interested in sex with their husbands. Or husbands who aren’t interested in sex with their wives. It’s basic

It’s great just giving the pleasure as much as it is receiving and each party doesn’t have to be in sync all the time.

I’m gonna stop now. For tonight anyway ;)


160 posted on 08/16/2010 12:09:27 AM PDT by Twink
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