Skip to comments.Survivors of sexual abuse appalled by Penn State unrest
Posted on 11/11/2011 6:47:52 PM PST by Hoodat
How does a survivor of sexual abuse respond to students rioting at Penn State?
"You're not getting it. You just don't get it," said Dave Lorenz who was abused by a priest as a teen.
"It's just stupid youthfulness."
Earlier this week, legendary head football coach Joe Paterno was removed in the midst of a scandal involving sexual abuse allegations against a former defensive coordinator, Jerry Sandusky.
Watching footage of Penn State students rioting in the streets Wednesday night, Lorenzo shuddered, then hung his head.
What bothered Lorenz is that students "rallied around (Paterno's) house, cheering him up."
"The kids up there just don't understand what this does," he said.
"Stop thinking of the adult and start thinking of what happens to a child that goes through this. You love the adult, you may not know the kid. Start thinking of the kid and the horror they go through, because it's hell."
Kayla Garriott, a 22-year-old college student who was sexually abused as a child, said the open support for Paterno was disrespectful to survivors.
"That's the first thing people look at -- that their football team is without their head coach that's been there so many years. Nobody looks at the eight children."
The rioters are "never going to be in those children's shoes. It's not about football. It's about eight children who are never going to get back their lives back. They're going to live with this the rest of their lives. They might not get over that."
(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...
What a despicable and libelous attack on FReeper men. As they say, you are no lady.
That’s true and verifiable in the grand jury report.
Joe, I never said you or that everyone here has called for a witch hunt and I absolutely agree with what you say about equating moral culpability with legal culpability.
Sandusky, for example, is fully entitled to due process, and in a legal sense, is certainly entitled to the presumption of innocence. But as I've asked others (without any answers), would you have him come watch your children this weekend while you went out for dinner and a movie? Of course you wouldn't, even though at this point he's been found guilty of absolutely nothing.
Hell no I wouldnt!
As far as McQueary's inaction, I cant even begin to fathom it. Had I witnessed what McQueary did, I would have called the police but only after rescuing the kid and beating Sandusky within an inch of his life. In fact when I called the police Id also would have requested an ambulance and suggested they might want to bring a body bag.
Again, let me state that Im not defending Paternos inaction or the inaction of anyone who had knowledge of what was going on.
But again I will also state that there has been a lot of hyperbole. Ive recently read some posts calling for not only the football program to be ended but also for the entire university to be burned to the ground, posts suggesting that high percentage of PSU students are child molesters or support it, or are gay, are homo lovers, etc. and I think that's a rather extreme position.
Oh really? Pull up an article about a female teacher molesting a boy and read. MORE than half the comments will be from FReeper men gleefully putting 'not guilty!' and 'Why didn't *my* math teacher look like that' and 'lucky boy' and 'I'll bet he's popular now'.
You want my comment deleted?! You defend that behavior?! How in the world am I out of line for saying that our boys should be protected from predators of BOTH sexes and that men who think that it's alright for a woman to rape a boy should be condemned?
I've been on those threads and tried to talk reason to that group of perverts and all I've gotten is more disgusting comments about how 'it's different for boys' and how 'the kid is lucky'. MAYBE one or two men will agree that that statutory rape of boys is a bad thing. Occasionally a guy will admit that he was raped by a woman at that age and that it was a traumatic thing. The pervs just ignore him.
How in the world am *I* the one that's out of line here?
The mods let those disgusting comments and threads stand because I guess it's not as bad thing to molest a kid as long as it's a boy.
If FReeper males don't want to be painted with the same broad brush as the pervs, then maybe they should stand up and stop tolerating intolerable behavior. Otherwise they're no better than the man who walked in on the rape of that boy and just closed the door.
I know from experience that the pervs just chuckle when a woman tries to tell them that they're out of line. They don't listen. If a group of strong males stood up to them and told them to knock it off, it might have an effect. As it stands, your silence is acquiescence.
As long as a hundred men stay silent while a dozen act like apes, the silent ones will be lumped in with the apes. It's not reasonable to expect women to control an unruly group of men. And it's irresponsible for good men not to.
I am standing up against intolerable behavior, yours. You have accused half the men on FR of cheering on female molesters of young boys. No proof, no cites, nothing. Slimers like you are quite common on sites like DU, but the libelous spewing of your foul bile is not appreciated on FR.
You have been a member of FR since 2003 and you actually have the nerve to ask me to cite my sources? You’re telling me that you haven’t seen ONE thread about a female teacher molesting a teenage boy?
I call BS on that one.
Here. Let me do your research for you:
It took me less than a minute to find this one. Here are some fine FReeper men:
“I was born too soon.
“40 my a$$. Not guilty - probation before trial. Possible parole.”
“Actually, its Craig Fergusons fault for evoking the naughty librarian line. :)”
“Teen boys are so lucky today. My son is 13 and I cant wait for parent teacher conferences.....lol. /sarc. (sorta). I might even have to tell my wife that I have this meeting....”
“The gym teacher accused of having sex hundreds of times with a student over two years when he was 15 broke down as she told a court the allegations have ruined her life. - What a pansy. I would be embarrassed if I was his father. How disgusting. Blaming his ruined life over this gorgeous women.....tragic.”
“Id hit it, and so would Laz”
“She did him several hundred times in two years? Scarred for life, poor kid, since no woman in his future can ever match that record.”
“Another day, another naughty teacher scandal.”
The majority of the people who spoke against this were WOMEN.
Next article... (tool me another ten seconds to find this one after the first)
See, THIS one was unattractive... so the FReeper males decided she was ‘guilty’. Lots of ‘yucks’ about this child molester. Not a lot of sincere sympathy about the kid she screwed up for life... but then, he IS a boy. Obviously he’ll be fine. Apparently boys don’t have feelings like girls do.
Here’s another one:
(on an oral sex reference) “That is kinda hard to swallow”
“Damn, #2 and #3 are about as homely as they get. And homely is putting it kindly.
“Good news for the students in question is that they will never be serviced by uglier women.”
“Swell. I’m sure the boys had fun no matter what they told police.”
“Well, she *was* the biology teacher.......”
“Here on the Potomac River we say, any port in a storm. LMAO.”
It goes on. One FReeper (PieterCasparzen) quoted a bible passage. He’s the only one who spoke up.
“Im beginning to think that I went to the wrong schools”
“I saw a bigger copy of the picture earlier. The bigger pic showed a harpoon sticking out of her back.”
(after a dozen ‘fat chick’ and ‘whale’ comments) “Dammit you guys , little fat girls need luvin too!”
(Isabel speaks out against the rape of boys in post #32) “I’m sure you went to the right schools. Proof is that you’re not psychologically messed up. Many boys who get sexually involved with one of their female teachers start to suffer from psychological problems afterward. “
(the response?) “from having to explain that permanent smile on their face? from having larangitis as a result of bragging rights all their lives?”
The bulk of this tread was about how fat the molester was. Other than Isabel’s comment, NOBODY else spoke out for this boy.
If you need more, I can keep going. That only took us to June of this year.
EVERY thread regarding a grown woman molesting a boy runs this way.
As a woman, what am I to think about the quality of the majority of the men who frequent this website?
Here’s one of a MAN doing the same things...
Oh, he’s an evil b@$tard and should be strung up by his whoo-ha.
But here’s a women molesting another boy...
And it’s perfectly FINE!
Why, according to one poster, a 17 year old boy CAN’T be taken advantage of sexually. (So if a gay teacher has sex with a 17 year old buy, that’s OK? He just said that they had good judgement and couldn’t be taken advantage of sexually...?)
Let me let you in on a little secret, Prokopton...
Sexual predators of BOTh sexes do it for the same reason. They want POWER over their victim.
Male sexual predators use seduction as their tool of choice. Females use seduction and manipulation.
forget the sex for a minute. Think about the mind games.
Young men who’re messed with by grown woman get screwed up. Some of them never again trust or they just plain hate women. They can feel horrible feel guilty and suicidal. The molestation can stunt their ability to develop decent relationships. They can develop unhealthy sexual appetites.
ANY time an adult takes advantage of a child who’s brain isn’t mature enough to deal with the ramifications of a sexual relationship, IT IS WRONG.
He may be just fine fooling around with his same-age girlfriend in the backseat of a car, but the same kid may be really messed up by the mind games of a manipulative woman more than twice his age.
Half of the posts you cite are not approving of the sexual abuse but commenting on the looks of the female teacher. Out of 125 posts, there were about a dozen questionable posts from FReepers who didn't object to sex between a young teacher and a 15 year old boy. Manny of these posts were by the same person, one of whom was a woman. So you have about 8 Freepers who do not take sex between a pretty, young female teacher and a 15 year old boy as seriously as you do. There are about 250,000 registered users of FreeRepublic, lets just say 125,000 men. So from a thread with about 8 FReepers you think are "cheering" sexual abuse of young men by females you exterpolate that half Freeper men would be cheering on if the Penn State coach was a female raping the ten year old boy.
Your logic is sick and you owe an apology to male Freepers, the vast majority who are against sexual abuse of children, male or female.
They don't have their own court system where they try people for felony crimes-do they?
The boy who the man molested was 11 years old, the boy the women had sex with was 17 years old, the age of consent in that state, MN, being 16. Are you saying you can't see a difference?
Let me put it this way.
A man rapes a girl repeatedly, over many years.
We post a thread of the article, detailing the rapes and post a picture of the rapist.
Half the comments by the FReeperettes are about the man’s appearance. If he’s attractive, he get’s a hearty ‘not guilty!’
In thread after thread, you see the same trend. All the women care about is how cute the rapist is. The cuter the rapist is, the more the girl should be grateful that she was raped.
For years, you look for good FReeper women to step up and tell these sorry women to knock it off. On each thread, there’s one MAN saying, ‘this is not good. women don’t like to be raped.’ Every few threads a woman will step in and say that the rape is not good, but she’s quickly mocked down.
At what point would you be disgusted by FReeper women?
Insult me again, if you must. But if you want to change my mind, you’ll start speaking up and fighting against child rape - no matter what the sex of the child or the offender.
One more thing: I couldn’t quite figure out what it was about your posts that got to me the most. It finally hit me. It’s the personal insults.
You tell me that I’m not a lady for defending boys against female predators and those who would promote the practice. Are you serious? How is it not ladylike to speak out against great evil?
You called me ‘sick’ and that seriously flabbergasts me.
The fact that you can read those threads and call *me* sick tells me that *you* are a very seriously twisted individual.
If you can’t see that had you flipped the sexes in the article and had the comments read the same way, it would be a Satanic thread - YOU are the one who needs help.
And I no longer have to bother myself with such a disturbed individual.
“So you have about 8 Freepers who do not take sex between a pretty, young female teacher and a 15 year old boy as seriously as you do.”
Since when is the fact that sex between an adult teacher and a child is wrong disputed?!?
On what planet??
Why is the fact that she is a pretty rapist even a factor? Ted Bundy was considered quite handsome!
Are you insane?!
Child rape is wrong. Period.
OK. Just to clear this up.
A gay man has sex with a boy o his 17th birthday and you are alright with that.
good to know.
A few maybe but not many. Certainly no where near half.
You are a liar.
Sexual predators of BOTh sexes do it for the same reason. They want POWER over their victim.
Let me let you in on a little secret, Marie, you don't know what you're talking about.
I have personally prosecuted hundreds of cases of Felony Child Sexual Abuse, with male and female victims and male and female defendants. Power over the victim is not the only, or even most common, reason for the abuse.
Homosexuals usually do it for sex, not power. This is what sexually stimulates them so that is what they engage in. They convince themselves that it is really not hurting the child.
Some women who have sex with older boys do it because it is emotionally safer than having a sexual relation with a mature man. The boys are often eager for the sex so the relationship is fairly "easy" for the woman.
We still do not understand many of the reasons people engage in criminal sexual conduct. You are correct, however, that there is often serious and long lasting harm to the victims of both sexes.
None of this, however, relates to my original post to you. You claimed that half of male FReepers would be cheering the rape of the ten year old boy at Penn State if the rapist were a woman. You have absolutely nothing to support this and it was a scurrilous libel that you should apologize for.
In a great many states, including MN, the age of consent, if there is no position of authority, is 16. A 40 year old man can legally have consenual sex with a 16 year old girl or boy. Same with a 40 year old woman.
Another personal insult. Yeah. My opinion of you guys is going up by the insult. You sure know how to show a woman the light.
If you scroll down, you’ll see that I’m telling the truth.
Look for yourself.
just search ‘teacher’
You’ll bump into several articles (as you scroll down) on female teachers molesting boys.
You call me a liar. How about this.
I showed three articles where FReeper males were either cheering the rapist on or were horrified that she was ugly. (No sympathy for the molested child - ever. One FReeper even said that the child should be ashamed of being upset by being molested. NOBODY ARGUED THAT POST.)
Why don’t YOU show me ONE article with a female teacher molesting a boy where the FReepers were universally horrified on the child’s behalf. Sad for the boy. sympathetic to what he went through and how it will impact his life. Where they’re crying for the molester’s head in a noose.
No, not because she was ugly, but BECAUSE HE WAS MOLESTED. because it’s wrong to molest a kid.
PROVE ME WRONG. I beg you! Protest child rape! Show me that most good men are NOT alright with this crap! Don’t be mad at me for pointing it out - be mad at the men who left that impression.
Anyone who has every read a thread or two about female sexual predator teachers knows that what Marie says is absolute truth. And she has not accused “half” of the men on FR. She said “more than half the comments”, and that is exaclty what I’ve seen, for years, and it seems to be getting worse.
And it is revolting.
One thing I don’t agree with is that the majorit of men on FR cheer on women having sex with underage boys. It’s only a small subset.
But they’re very vocal.
I see, another liar joins in. This is what Marie posted:
"Oh please. If the teacher had been a female, half of the FReeper men here wouldve been cheering the abuse on."
You lied the accusation so YOU prove that half of the male FReepers would act as you state that they would.
The onus is on YOU not me.
Until YOU prove your lie to be true then you are the LIAR!
Don’t even bother to answer until you can back up your lies.
If you really believe that, then the fact that none of the worst comments about you have been deleted or refuted in this thread means that most FReepers must agree with them.
It is so easy when you can simply quote their lies and when clearly caught in a lie they still do not back off.
They just repeat the LIE in all caps.
“You have absolutely nothing to support this and it was a scurrilous libel that you should apologize for.”
I won’t apologize. What should I apologize for? You just validated my argument. Men don’t see boy-rape as bad as girl-rape.
You said it yourself: “Some women who have sex with older boys do it because it is emotionally safer than having a sexual relation with a mature man. The boys are often eager for the sex so the relationship is fairly “easy” for the woman.”
Obviously, in your eyes, boys don’t mind being molested by emotionally vulnerable women.
I disagree. I’ve known enough manipulative women who know who to pull the ‘poor me’ card and a single tear at the drop of a hat to fall for that BS.
(You don’t seriously believe that women are that weak, do you? Playing weak or dumb is the first thing girls learn how to do.)
Are men really that stupid? (”I just wanted someone who could appreciated ME...” or “I just wanted to be held... or appreciated... or cared for... or whatever this stupid lawyer or jury might believe...” or “he seemed really mature for his age” or “I was just so *lone-ly!* bwahahaha!” or “I was abused and he was safe to me...”)
Women learn how to play ‘victim’ in the cradle. Are you seriously telling me that there are judges falling for this crap?
This is no different than a gay guy who molests kids being molested as a kid. Yes. We feel bad for what he suffered, but it doesn’t excuse what he’s done. We convict and let his shrink deal with it.
thank you, lj.
I’m done arguing this here. It makes me sad.
Right above I told her I disagree that half the men on FR cheer on female sex predators. I said it’s a small subset of them, but they’re vocal. She also said that on many threads it’s “half of the comments”, and I agree with that, seen it a lot.
I am not a liar.
Your pathetic lying and spinning about your libel on male FReepers makes you a disgrace as a FReeper and 95% of FReepers agree with me.
Joe, you are right.
We have legal duties and ethical duties in life or in our jobs. Liberals have tried to replace ethical duties with political correctness and turning away from the rape of boys is not politically incorrect; however it is ethically incorrect.
Ethically, Joe and all the management who knew about the rape should have acted in a way to ruin his sex abuse operation, aka “charity”. The management controled the University police’s reaction to the crime so there was none.
All staff who knew and did not act to stop the abuse operation, need to be removed from their jobs. Joe knows this, too.
Humanists try to say there are no Western morals/ethics for management anymore. But there are even when they want to ignore them or replace them with inane word games and lies. Humannists are now tripping over that pc lie.
It’s also quite an eye opener to see the comments on the Pedo State threads.
The simple fact is that our country (and others of course) are in a moral freaking cesspool and we are approacing the abyss.
Our country was founded upon moral principles based on religion and once they’re gone (almost gone now), all hell will break loose. And thus my tagline....
I think you are quite right.
Men given to MACHO pontificating
seem to feel compelled to sound jealous of the victims and to cheer their victimization on.
The double standards flung about by too many hereon re too many issues often ends up being fairly shocking.
imho . . .
young women abused by men feel super consumed by feelings of being used, abused, treated like a used condom.
young men abused by women feel extremely conflicted because they also feel used and abused but have to contend with the MACHO ethos that any excuse for sex (with women), should be engaged in with thrilling abandon REGARDLESS.
Further, young men so abused tend to end up extremely conflicted about sex with and trust in women for the rest of their lives—until they get it worked through—somewhat akin to what happens with women so abused.
It seems to me that many of the SCREAMING MACHO types hereon either are in some sort of convoluted intense REACTION FORMATION response to their own history
are perhaps conflicted, deprived, excessive, addicted, lop-sided . . . something . . . in their own sexual lives. Pontificating in a brashly bravado MACHO-TO-THE-MAX-REGARDLESS fashion may somehow sooth their own conflictedness or less than ideal sex life.
Get off your high horse. You are ignorant.
What I just said above to Marie applies in response to your comment, too.
WELL AND APTLY PUT, imho.
However, you may discover a common problem . . . facts don’t seem to matter to naysayers.
Like your tagline.
And if the police failed to act, Joe could have called the donors of the charity to warn them of what McQueary saw in that shower and tell them he was removing himself from association with the charity. He could have removed his name from the charity’s sponsor list. He could have told the boys on the football team to keep an eye on the showers just in case any monster with a name starting with S and ending with Y is raping boys in there...
I will apologize to you, lj, because you are civil. I believe that most men on FR aren’t alright with such things. I believe that most men on FR are good men who do not tolerate evil.
I believe this on faith. Not on evidence.
If you look at the threads, they are horrible. and they go back for years.
I guess I’m sad that more good men don’t step up and fight this evil.
How is someone supposed to judge a group when they remain silent on such a horrific issue?
Seriously, if all the sexes were reversed, how would you feel toward women after reading those threads? You’d think that the few women you knew were the ‘good ones’ but that the vast majority were dogs. So many making perverted comments. So few speaking against them.
I guess that I don’t understand how, on a conservative website, with a religious majority, these threads stand if men don’t agree with the gist. I don’t want to believe it, but I’m waiting for the backlash. For twelve years I’ve been waiting. For a purge. For deleted comments. For furious men slapping these perverts back into their place.
Where is the backlash? Where are the good men standing for what is right?
I’ve seen much less offensive threads pulled, but the female-teacher-molests-the-male-minor threads stand with the garbage comments every time.
little jeremiah, why does this happen if the majority of men are good men?? I’ve been FReeping for too many years not to see the trend. Boys are not cared for the same as girls.
I love men. I love boys. I appreciate what a strong man brings to a family, to his job and to our society. And I appreciate what it takes to create such a man.
Why would a conservative site promote an act that destroys such a man from forming? That warps his views on a healthy relationship with a good woman? The creates mistrust between the sexes? That turns a potential man into a weak victim? That castrates him emotionally? Why is this a good thing? Why is this OK?
Why are so many men alright with it and why are so many wise men silent?? Why do good men tolerate evil n their midst? Why are good men not fighting this evil? Why don’t they read these threads and taste ash in their mouths? Why don’t they put these pups in their place?
That's fine but you also said
"And she has not accused half of the men on FR."
when that's exactly what she did.
There are many innocent people who dont see it because the pedophile is very sneaky, very clever and uses his/her power to conceal.
I am sorry you suffered child abuse. Some men in my extended family were raped when they were boys, too. The truth did not come out until they were adults and all screwed up. It happened in the boy scouts and the pervs want back in there bad. I’m sure you have heard the manipulative and clever ones shouting about the Boy Scouts’ “homophobia.” They had quite a National operation going in the boy scouts before they were busted up in the 80’s.
If you read all her comments she said in one comment “half the comments” and in another “half of the men”. I already told her I disagreed that it’s half of the men, but half of the comments, often is like that.
I have no idea why you are so angry about all of this. It is a fact that many men on FR use the “adult woman molests adolescent boy” threads for randy talk and jokes. It’s a fact. It’s also evidence of the moral cess pool in our country. If you don’t like it that some people point out the moral cesspool, too bad.
I blame the liberals who covered up for Clinton. Yes I do. They hurt our country. On one had we were being beaten with “sexual harassment and rape is the worst thing ever” and on the other hand, when it was their guy was the worst, we learned “everybody does it; it’s all about sex.”
Liberals have hurt our people badly with all their pc witch hunt games and lies. No one trusts anyone anymore. No one can be trusted to be telling the truth.
Oh for the love of Pete. You ARE a lawyer! lol!
Alright. FOR THE RECORD I will state this:
If you post a thread with a female molester molesting a boy MORE THAN HALF OF THE COMMENTS ON THE THREAD WILL NOT BE SUPPORTING THE MOLESTED BOY. (This is a supported fact.)
I do believe that IT IS TELLING that more good men don’t speak out against this evil.
MORE MEN SHOULD SHUT THIS DEPRAVITY DOWN. GOOD MEN SHOULD NOT TOLERATE SUCH THINGS.
There. I hope it’s all clear as punch to you. I even put it in all CAPS so that it would hit a little harder.
Now, forget being a lawyer for one minute and answer me this... do you not agree that good men should speak out against illegal sexual molestation of males no matter what the sex of their offender?
Actually, I’ve been trained to, and have actually investigated a number of child molestation cases and sat on family advocacy boards.
Often moral rot infects people and they don’t even realize it. If you’ve ever seen the pornography supporters on FR you’d vomit. Whenever I ping them out the attacks I get are amazing. People start practically foaming at the mouth - if they were in the room with me they’d probably beat me up.
Attachment to sexual perverion and immorality is a deep spiritual sickness, but it is a sickness that is chosen. Not caught by accident. Problem is, there are so many vectors, a person has to go out of their way to avoid “catching” it. And many people “caught” it growing up, when they were immature, had no choice about influences (say public school sex ed), were violated when young, etc. But even adults who were “infected” when young, can choose to change, and every behavior - which includes speech - is a choice. And habits are formed by the actions we choose to engage in or not engage in.
I led an extremely dissolute few years as a teeanger until I straightened out - had some falldowns - but even with the falldowns knew it was very wrong, begged God for forgiveness, and became a different person.
That’s something a lot of people do, but a lot of people don’t want to do.
Doing my ping lists on FR and making the comments in support of morality and truth is one of my ways of making amends.
Another point is my old tagline, just recently retired (might bring it back), a quote from C.S. Lewis, something like this:
Courage is not just one of the virtues, it is the form of every virtue at the testing point.
I certainly hope so but it may be that the focus will stay on Paterno. The Homosexual Agenda Advocates in the MSM want this to be an indictment of football when it should be an indictment of the Lavender Mafia running our colleges.