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Marriage: Saying 'I don't'
Los Angeles Times / LATimes.com ^ | January 19, 2012 | By Stephanie Coontz

Posted on 01/21/2012 1:19:22 AM PST by thecodont

As of 2010, according to a recent report from the Pew Research Center, married couples had fallen to barely 51% of U.S. households, with a full 5% drop in new marriages between 2009 and 2010 alone. The data for 2011 aren't in yet, but if that decline continued last year, less than half of American adults are in a legal marriage now.

Is marriage going the way of the electric typewriter and the VHS tape? Not exactly.

The decline of marriage seems especially dramatic in comparison to the way things were 50 years ago. In 1960, almost half of 18- to 24-year-olds and 82% of 25- to 34-year-olds were married. In 2010, the comparable figures were 9% and 44%. Ironically, however, 50 years ago what had everyone worried was the rapid rise in the proportion of married-couple households, as young people rushed to the altar.

(Excerpt) Read more at latimes.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: cohabitation; marriage

1 posted on 01/21/2012 1:19:27 AM PST by thecodont
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To: thecodont

Most people nowadays defer marriage until they can afford the wedding. First they have a baby, then they go on a honeymoon and then, when they’ve saved enough, exchange “vows.”


2 posted on 01/21/2012 1:27:41 AM PST by Mr Ramsbotham (Laws against sodomy are honored in the breech.)
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To: thecodont

Ironic...

Gay couples vigorously demand their right to marry at the same moment straight couples are voluntarily walking away from it.


3 posted on 01/21/2012 1:30:51 AM PST by zeestephen
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To: thecodont

Marriage is when the last straw is broken and you find there is yet another straw.


4 posted on 01/21/2012 1:48:11 AM PST by Berlin_Freeper (NEWT GINGRICH 2012)
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To: thecodont
Some people say ya cain't have too many:


5 posted on 01/21/2012 1:58:44 AM PST by Blado (Obama is a coprolite from the Late Soviet Era)
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To: Blado

Not tonight, dearies. I have a headache.


6 posted on 01/21/2012 2:01:57 AM PST by Jim Robinson (Rebellion is brewing!! Impeach the corrupt Marxist bastard!!)
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To: Blado

{The others I could probably deal with but does gramma have to come along?}


7 posted on 01/21/2012 2:01:57 AM PST by Blado (Obama is a coprolite from the Late Soviet Era)
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To: thecodont

Wonder how much of the 49% are couples living “in sin” and how many are singles alone (and of those how many are parents and how many are not). I understand there’s been a surge of no-kid singlehood.


8 posted on 01/21/2012 2:02:58 AM PST by HiTech RedNeck (Sometimes progressives find their scripture in the penumbra of sacred bathroom stall writings (Tzar))
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To: Jim Robinson

man, they all look like they ate lemons.


9 posted on 01/21/2012 2:03:47 AM PST by HiTech RedNeck (Sometimes progressives find their scripture in the penumbra of sacred bathroom stall writings (Tzar))
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To: FReepers



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10 posted on 01/21/2012 2:06:03 AM PST by onyx (PLEASE SUPPORT FREE REPUBLIC - DONATE MONTHLY! If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, let me know!)
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To: Mr Ramsbotham

Why save enough? Getting married doesn’t really cost diddly unless one wants something outrageous.

Have we made marriage more of a spectacle/show-off production than a life-time decision and commitment?


11 posted on 01/21/2012 2:18:43 AM PST by Irenic
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To: thecodont

Yet another reason to suspect state-recognized marriage belongs to a bygone era, for better or for worse.


12 posted on 01/21/2012 3:18:46 AM PST by Méabh
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To: Irenic

The huge bridal parties are ridiculous IMO, used to be a Maid/Matron of Honor and one bridesmaid...now they average 6 or more..dumb. Definitely more of a spectacle/show-off production.

34 1/2 years here and going strong! One bridesmaid and one Matron of Honor.


13 posted on 01/21/2012 3:45:26 AM PST by tina07 (In loving memory of my father,WWII Vet. CBI 10/16/42-12/17/45, d. 11/1/85)
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To: Irenic

Many haven’t learned that often less is more....


14 posted on 01/21/2012 3:46:19 AM PST by tina07 (In loving memory of my father,WWII Vet. CBI 10/16/42-12/17/45, d. 11/1/85)
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To: tina07

34 1/2 years here and going strong! One bridesmaid and one Matron of Honor.
************************
I envy you. But I think we are on the same page. I made a vow to my husband before God and that is where it is all at.

I shall never want for anything more than my husband and there is no show worth more than the vow we made.

We did a quickie wedding without family, when it seemed they wanted to make it a production. No regrets at all.

I pray we can make 34...congrats to you two!


15 posted on 01/21/2012 3:58:10 AM PST by Irenic
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To: Irenic
"I made a vow to my husband (wife) before God and that is where it is all at.

I shall never want for anything more than my husband (wife)....."

-----------------------------------------------------------

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for reading my mind and posting that. For all of us.[No offense meant with the minor edit :-)]

16 posted on 01/21/2012 5:03:06 AM PST by 2sheds
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To: thecodont

Government has given the green light years ago to support protect and encourage single parent households driving a wedge and a false notion that young people can make a go of this and survive without a partner. Personal responsibility is the problem


17 posted on 01/21/2012 5:10:06 AM PST by ronnie raygun (V)
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To: ronnie raygun

The reason? For many young women, the Government is a proxy for the Husband—as far as providing is concerned anyway. And the Government Husband is a lot less bother.


18 posted on 01/21/2012 5:22:40 AM PST by rbg81
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To: Mr Ramsbotham

Easy solution, don’t waste money on a fancy wedding just find a justice of the peace.

About your tagline, what is the breech?


19 posted on 01/21/2012 5:26:58 AM PST by Impy (Don't call me red.)
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To: thecodont
(insert successful man's name) was married to a woman for 2 - 4 years. Then a divorce came and the woman got a little more than half his assets totaling 100+ million.

That's enough to stop marriages IMO.

20 posted on 01/21/2012 5:36:18 AM PST by Vision ("Did I not say to you that if you would believe, you would see the glory of God?" John 11:40)
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To: thecodont

Breakdown of education/income/welfare/ethnic levels would have been interesting, and I suspect informative, data. The article addresses mainly people who are educated and work. If the government will pay for your children no need to go through a ceremony, it may cramp the stud’s style.


21 posted on 01/21/2012 5:41:15 AM PST by BilLies ( (ABCBSNBCNN, NYTimes, WaPOSt , etc., hates your Traditional American guts!))
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To: thecodont
Another part of the leftist world view is to chip away at the ideal of marriage; hence, the clockwork articles that document its demise.

However, if the statistical picture were modified to account for these groups:

1. Wanting to be married and single.
2. Those in (cough) relationships headed for marriage. I'd bet half of the households with a ‘hook-up arrangement would qualify here.
2. In the state of engagement.
3. Divorced and open to re-marriage.
4. Widows and widowers.

I think the overall popularity of marriage would buoy up to something in the 75-80%+ range as a goal or desirable state. Of course, that isn't the intent here. Let's just show the folks at home how outmoded marriage is and let's just all shack up with him/her/it/them/fruit/vegetables/machines/etc.

22 posted on 01/21/2012 6:07:24 AM PST by WorkingClassFilth (I'm for Churchill in 1940!)
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To: thecodont

It’s all planned:

http://www.uhuh.com/nwo/communism/comgoals.htm

26. Present homosexuality, degeneracy and promiscuity as “normal, natural, healthy.”

40. Discredit the family as an institution. Encourage promiscuity and easy divorce.


23 posted on 01/21/2012 6:32:17 AM PST by GenXteacher (He that hath no stomach for this fight, let him depart!)
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To: Vision

In your scenario of being married 2-4 years and then divorcing (which is an abomination) she would only get 1/2 the asssets they had accumulated during the marriage. So if he was fortunate enough to have amassed 100M suring the marriage, yeah, under the law, she is entitled to half. And so what? Maybe he wanted to diddle around and she didn’t feel like she could handle it, men engage in nonmarital behavior too.

It’s always men that act like the women married them for their money if they have any that is. Actually most women want caring and protection and if they get it, the marriage works. If the man is a selfish one, it won’t be a happy marriage.


24 posted on 01/21/2012 6:37:26 AM PST by yldstrk ( My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: yldstrk

Nomarriage.com

Lists reasons men shouldn’t marry.


25 posted on 01/21/2012 6:50:36 AM PST by TigerClaws
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To: Vision

Unless the couple has some strange pre-nup the spouse does not get half of the assets. It is only assets acquired during that 2-4 years and that is only in some states.

Anyone not willing to share the work, the rewards and the debts acquired during the marriage shouldn’t get married.


26 posted on 01/21/2012 6:59:18 AM PST by ladyjane
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To: rbg81

The Wall Street Journal just did a super article on this. There’s now a culture gap between upper and lower classes, starting really in the 1960s. If you’re upper middle class or higher, you are college educated, you marry college educated, only 5% have kids out of wedlock, 80%+ of men work and live in neighborhoods of the same. If you’re lower class, you have a high school degree but rarely trade school, only 15-20% married, 70-90% illegitimate births (from sometimes marrying after 2-3 kids), men far less likely to be in the workforce.

Here’s the article:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204301404577170733817181646.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_RIGHTTopCarousel_1


27 posted on 01/21/2012 7:30:15 AM PST by tbw2
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To: tbw2

The best thing that the new upper class can do to provide that reinforcement is to drop its condescending “nonjudgmentalism.” Married, educated people who work hard and conscientiously raise their kids shouldn’t hesitate to voice their disapproval of those who defy these norms. When it comes to marriage and the work ethic, the new upper class must start preaching what it practices.


Yes, good article. I really agree with the above point. Sadly, its also the thing that seems least likely to happen. If anything, “non-judgementalism” seems to be approaching satire-like levels. I work in Academia and (increasingly) you are painted as “mean” and “anti-diversity” if you try to enforce any kind of standard.


28 posted on 01/21/2012 8:10:07 AM PST by rbg81
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To: zeestephen

Gay people only want to be married to take advantage of the tax code.


29 posted on 01/21/2012 8:12:47 AM PST by bigheadfred
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To: ladyjane; yldstrk
The point is that marriage laws have created a situation where women can/are taking advantage of men.

Being married to a guy for a few years should not be worth up to tens or hundreds of millions of dollars. They should get something, but not that. Ridiculous. Men are not an industry/wealth creator for women like current laws allow for.

30 posted on 01/21/2012 8:14:29 AM PST by Vision ("Did I not say to you that if you would believe, you would see the glory of God?" John 11:40)
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To: Jim Robinson; HiTech RedNeck

Aw, everything was fine until they invented the electric light.


31 posted on 01/21/2012 8:14:36 AM PST by bigheadfred
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To: ladyjane
Anyone not willing to share the work, the rewards and the debts acquired during the marriage shouldn’t get married.

That's why so many don't.

With both the husband and wife usually working nowadays, the thought is that each keeps what they earn. So what reason do men has to marry? The potential loss of half their saved income ain't a positive incentive.

It's more in their interest to sleep with their girlfriend and produce a baby. And if thing don't work out, leave with no major loss of money outside of possible child support.

---

As for me, I've seen too many friends and family lose too much in their divorces to ever consider marriage without an ironclad prenup (One father got custody of his two kids as the mother was unfit, yet she got the house and half of all the savings.). And now I'm seeing more and more judges overturning even prenups.

32 posted on 01/21/2012 8:37:28 AM PST by gogogodzilla (Live free or die!)
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To: ladyjane
Anyone not willing to share the work, the rewards and the debts acquired during the marriage shouldn’t get married.

That's why so many don't.

With both the husband and wife usually working nowadays, the thought is that each keeps what they earn. So what reason do men has to marry? The potential loss of half their saved income ain't a positive incentive.

It's more in their interest to sleep with their girlfriend and produce a baby. And if thing don't work out, leave with no major loss of money outside of possible child support.

---

As for me, I've seen too many friends and family lose too much in their divorces to ever consider marriage without an ironclad prenup (One father got custody of his two kids as the mother was unfit, yet she got the house and half of all the savings.). And now I'm seeing more and more judges overturning even prenups.

33 posted on 01/21/2012 8:37:28 AM PST by gogogodzilla (Live free or die!)
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To: Impy
About your tagline, what is the breech?

It's a clever play on the words "breach" and "breech." The actual expression is "honored in the breach, which signifies that a law or rule is observed by breaking it, i.e., "Lights-out in the dormitory was generally honored in the breach." The word "breech," on the other hand, while it sounds exactly like "breach," means "buttocks." So the laws against sodomy are honored both in the breach and in the breech.

34 posted on 01/21/2012 9:11:36 AM PST by Mr Ramsbotham (Laws against sodomy are honored in the breech.)
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To: thecodont
The single best thing one can do for themselves and their future is marry well.

The single worst thing one can do is marry poorly.

Personally, I'd love to be married, but...the price I'd pay for getting it wrong and then continue to pay and pay for the rest of my life, is enough to keep me single and looking.

I seek a woman who, as Don DeLillo wrote, lacks "the guile for conspiracies of the body."

And, maybe a good divorce lawyer just in case...

35 posted on 01/21/2012 9:25:53 AM PST by GBA (Natural Born American)
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To: thecodont; All

A question for all you old-timers out here...

I’ve been married for going on 25 years, and have never met so many people who keep asking me “what our secret is.”

Is this only because I’m an old-timer now too?

/the secret: It’s called a MARRIAGE VOW, Gingrich supporters!


36 posted on 01/21/2012 10:15:00 AM PST by warchild9 (Yes, I know, I have to update my profile)
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To: thecodont

Bookmark bump


37 posted on 01/21/2012 10:36:00 PM PST by Cacique (quos Deus vult perdere, prius dementat ( Islamia Delenda Est ))
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To: Jim Robinson

Do men use that excuse,too?


38 posted on 01/28/2012 10:06:11 PM PST by POWERSBOOTHEFAN (Future Meteorologist.)
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To: thecodont

Marriage sounds great....

Not.


39 posted on 01/28/2012 10:11:31 PM PST by POWERSBOOTHEFAN (Future Meteorologist.)
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