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The Sex-Obsessed Left is Offended by an Aspirin Joke?
Rush ^ | February 17, 2012 | Rush Limbaugh

Posted on 02/17/2012 11:52:18 AM PST by Kaslin


RUSH: This is Foster Friess, and he was on Andrea Mitchell, NBC News, Washington, her show at one o'clock eastern yesterday afternoon.

FRIESS: Back in my days they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly.

MITCHELL: Excuse me, I'm just trying to catch my breath from that, Mr. Friess, frankly.

RUSH: Uh, excuse me, trying to catch my breath from that, Mr. Frieze, frankly. Folks, it is I guess factual now to say that our culture is obsessed with sex, and the conventional wisdom now is everybody, particularly kids, have sex. It's fine that they have sex. There's nothing unusual about it. We shouldn't be concerned.
originalWe shouldn't try to stop it. It's silly to think there's anything wrong with it. In fact, Planned Parenthood, how do they make their money? Abortions. What do they need? They need unwanted pregnancies. Not babies, Snerdley, they kill babies. Planned Parenthood needs sex. Planned Parenthood must have sex going on as much as possible, and particularly among the yutes of America.

Go to the Planned Parenthood website, check out all of the instructional materials there for anybody. If you printed a page from the Planned Parenthood website and went to a park and found a bunch of kids ten and 12 years old or 14 years old playing on a seesaw and showed 'em that page, you'd end up in jail. Planned Parenthood pushes sex, they push pornography, they instruct about it, they have been for the longest time. I remember hosting this program back in the early nineties when cucumbers and so forth were used to demo condoms in the schools. And back then, "Mr. Limbaugh, you can't stop them, they're gonna have sex. We've gotta teach 'em safe sex." I had woman call, a mother from out in the Hamptons say, "I would much prefer that my daughter bring her boyfriend home and have sex in one of our guest rooms rather than in the back of the car."


"Because it's cleaner in the bedroom."

"You mean, you can't stop it, it's gonna happen."

"That's right, Rush, you gotta get out of the Dark Ages."

I said, "Well, do you provide 'em a pack of cigarettes on the nightstand?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Well, that's traditionally what happens after you have sex, light up a cigarette."

"Well, no, of course I don't advocate smoking."

"Oh, you don't advocate smoking, but you will sanction and promote your teenage daughter having sex with a boyfriend in your house?"

"Yes, if the only alternative is that they're gonna do it in the back of a car."

So it's inculcated now. Foster Friess is not that old, and it's not that long ago that there was a stigma. It's not that long ago, put an aspirin between your knees, and Andrea Mitchell just can't believe it, "I'm trying to catch my breath from that, Mr. Friess, frankly." Play it again. We can fit it in before the break, number five, play it again.

FRIESS: Back in my days they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly.

MITCHELL: Excuse me, I'm just trying to catch my breath from that, Mr. Friess, frankly.

RUSH: All right, well, Andrea Mitchell catching her breath probably still, and the rest of the Drive-Bys went nuts, too.


RUSH: I really don't care. It's just one of these days. Come on, folks, don't tell me you don't have those days where you just don't care. (interruption) No, it's not that I think all's lost. No, no, no, no. I just don't care. In fact, being completely honest, back in the early days when this program was rocketing, the media, "Well, how long are you gonna do this?" eager for me to say I'm quitting tomorrow. "Well, how long you gonna do this?"

And I said, "I don't know."

"Well, you gotta have some idea when it's gonna end."

I said, "Well, do you?"

Some guy, some journalist, I forget, there were a bunch of them, "Do you have any idea when you're gonna quit your job?"

"Well, no."

"But clearly this can't go on this way."

"Why can't it go on this way?"

"Well, it just can't."

I said, "Look, let me answer your question this way." I actually said this. "If I ever get up someday and what's in the newspaper doesn't interest me, then I'll know."


I said, "Yeah. It's gonna take a whole bunch of days getting up where I don't care what's in the newspaper."

Now, is this the first of one of those many days? No. I just don't care. There's nothing in this stack that I said, "I can't wait to talk about that." There's nothing in here that deserves to be at the top of the stack, and by the same token there's nothing in here that deserves to be at the bottom. It doesn't matter. (interruption) No, I'm not depressed. No, no, nothing happened. Look, I know every one of you, some days you just don't care. Nothing floats your boat. Not depressed. You're just flatline. You don't care. I'm talking about mood flatline. I'm not talking about heart rate. Come on, folks, you gotta cut me some slack. This is like the third day in 23 years I haven't cared. I could come in here and fake it, but that's not what Open Line Friday is all about. I fake it Monday through Thursday. On Friday I just let it hang loose. So I don't really care.

I mean this Andrea Mitchell stuff -- see, everything happening I predicted. We're living in exactly what I thought was gonna happen. Nothing surprises me. There's not one thing in the news that shocks me. Not one thing. What they're trying to do to Santorum, I mean Newt's guy, Mr. Las Vegas, he's gonna pump, what is it, ten million more into Newt's campaign. Kathryn asked me last night, "Where is this Republican nomination?" I said, "I can't began begin to tell you where this Republican nomination is. I can't begin to tell you where it's going. Right now I couldn't tell you that any of these three guys has a better chance than the other of winning this thing. It's wide open as far as I'm concerned."

And I'll tell you this. Whoever wins it, there's no doubt in my mind it's gonna be pedal to the metal support time. 'Cause I don't think this election's about our guys. They're trying to make it about our guys. This election is about Obama. As far as I'm concerned it's always gonna be about Obama. It's not gonna be about anything else. You have to deal with the cards that you're dealt, and we don't have Ronald Reagan and a list of nominees. We just don't have it, it's not there. You can pretend and get upset, we just don't have Reagan out there. There hasn't been a Reagan since Reagan, other than me, and I'm not running. Palin's not running. Marco Rubio's not running. They're not running.

Wait. Geraldo is on TV, did somebody die? Virginia. Close. He's talking about a murder trial. Yep, yep. The grim reaper.

All right, here, let's go back to the media here. This is Foster Friess, this is the guy who's donating to the super PAC for Santorum, and as you know, they're trying to say that Santorum wants every woman barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, and he's trying to eliminate contraception, all this silly stuff. And, by the way, this isn't gonna work. CNN has a poll out, 50%, I think it's just a little over statistically, a little over 50% disagree with the president's notion that contraception should be provided free of charge by somebody else, 50%. Like most everything else is, it is not an 80-20 issue. The Democrats are not winning on this. They're not dominating on this. It's a CNN poll, and it clearly indicates that it is a 50-50 proposition. The Democrats do not own this.

You would think, the way the media's covering this, that 80% of the country is in favor of insurance companies or churches or somebody else providing their contraception free of charge and if it's denied they're ready to burn down the house, burn down the town. It's not the case. Anyway, all of that coming up, 'cause that stuff I just mentioned is in the stack somewhere. Here we go, just to set it all up again. This is Foster Friess yesterday with Andrea Mitchell, NBC News, Washington, on her show.

FRIESS: Back in my days they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly.

MITCHELL: Excuse me, I'm just trying to catch my breath from that, Mr. Friess, frankly.

RUSH: Now, are you picturing Andrea Mitchell, NBC News, Washington, with an aspirin between her knees? 'Cause I am. That's what ticks her off. Can you imagine Andrea Mitchell sitting at her anchor desk with an aspirin between her knees, all ticked off? So last night and this morning we have a montage of a bunch of media people sliming Foster Friess and bashing Santorum for his association with him.

O'DONNELL: His problem is that he has now a public association with a very flakey seeming guy.

SUSTEREN: The creepy supporter. The guy who says something really creepy.

BARNICLE: Is Foster Friess a made up name?

GEIST: Any day where you have to go on TV and declare that your chief supporter is not creepy is a bad day in my estimation.

DEUTSCH: These main super PAC guys are the creepiest guys.

MATTHEWS: You are talking about a guy from the Cro-Magnon era.

RUSH: All right, now, so you got Foster Friess and what he said was innocent as it could be, and it was an accurate depiction of social mores not that long ago in the country. And now all of a sudden he's Cro-Magnon, he's a creep, Santorum is guilty by association. Santorum's just as creepy 'cause this guy is creepy. But I happen to remember a guy by the name of Jeremiah Wright who was out saying some really, really anti-American, dirty, provocative, profane, insulting stuff, and the Drive-Bys said, "Well, you know, Obama's not Reverend Wright. Reverend Wright had nothing to do with Obama, and Obama hardly knew Reverend Wright, no, no, no, Wright's not even an adviser. Obama never even listened to Reverend Wright. He sat there for 20 years in the pew, but he never heard this. You can't do that. That's dirty politics. You can't say just 'cause Wright said that and Obama was in his church for 20 years that Obama agrees with that. Obama never even heard that. Wright's not even part of the campaign, come on, there's nothing here, move on." Remember that's what they all told us about Reverend Wright?

Now, here's Foster Friess with an aspirin between Andrea Mitchell's knees, and the media is going jack-you-know-what. The media is going crazy and they're trying to bury Santorum. He's guilty by association with a Cro-Magnon creep. Greta Van Susteren last night, on the Record, she interviewed Santorum. They talked about it.

VAN SUSTEREN: There are two issues. One is the creepy supporter, the guy who says something really creepy about you and who's a huge fundraiser for your campaign, will you at least correct him about -- I -- I think most women don't think it's particularly funny, his comment.

SANTORUM: Foster is known in political circles as telling a lot of jokes, and some of them are not particularly funny. This one was not. He's not creepy. He's a good man. He's a great philanthropist, a very successful businessman. He told a bad off-color joke, and he shouldn't have done it, but that's his business. It was a stupid joke.

RUSH: Oh, now wait just a second, what the heck was off-color about it? You want to see off-color, go to the Planned Parenthood website. Off-color? What in the world is off-color about making a joke about Andrea Mitchell putting an aspirin between her knees? (interruption) Well, I'm sorry, forgive me liberal tight butt women don't think it's funny, and so therefore it's impermissible, and therefore it's off-color? Off-color? An aspirin between their knees is off-color? (interruption) No, not true. Snerdley just said to me, "Anything between their knees is off-color." Not true. Go to the Planned Parenthood website. There are accepted things for women to put between their knees.

Now, you won't find an aspirin there, but you'll find dildos and whatever else in the Planned Parenthood -- you'll find it all there. You'll find every sex aid and instructions on how to use them at the Planned Parenthood website. And no age restriction on this stuff. (interruption) What, are you upset because I used the word -- (interruption) Okay, give me a substitute word then. What is the acceptable substitute word because I'm about to be Foster Friessed here, right? (interruption) What was that? Okay, a vibrator. You like that? We're all adults here, folks. The kids are in school, and the ones who are around, believe me, don't know where they are, and they know about this stuff anyway. In fact, many of them are trying the aspirin trick right now to see if they could defy it. Yeah, in fact you can't even get an aspirin in school now without the nurse. You can get a condom, you can get an abortion, you can't get an aspirin. Off-color? Off-color joke?

You know how my mother described loose women? You know what I mean by loose women? And, by the way, why is there not something called loose men? It's expected behavior. My mother, the way she described them to my brother and me, she described them as round heels. I said, "What do you mean, mother?" "Round heels, son, they just roll right over." That's from the same era as the aspirin between the knees. Round heels. Anyway, we're not through. That's Greta, she talked to Santorum. Santorum, "It was a bad joke. It was an off-color joke." (interruption) Oh, yeah, the pregnancy rates were nothing compared to what they are today. Oh, yeah, Planned Parenthood would not have been able to stay in business back then. Boring two-parent families.

Gee, I can remember when I was in junior high, the principal, somebody found a condom on the school grounds and they conducted a week-long investigation to try to find out whose it was because they wanted to suspend 'em. Today they give 'em away. I know I'm dating myself here. I don't care. I don't think there's anything off-color about an aspirin between her knees. Gosh, I'll tell you, I'm really gonna get into it now. I'll just tell you, all Foster Friess did was have a cute, funny way of describing virtue.


RUSH: You boil it all down, what you end up with is something very simple. Liberals want life without consequences. Fail at your job, no consequences, doesn't matter, there's all kinds of government help. Fail at being a father, no problem, there's no consequences. Sex, whenever you want it, no matter the outcome, no problem, we've got abortion, we got birth control pills, we got condoms, ah, no consequences. And without consequences, there's no virtue. And that's all Foster Friess was talking about. Simply talking about women with virtue, pure and simple. And the fact that so few people understand that is shocking. Sad, but shocking.

Let me tell you a little bit about Foster Friess. "Friess has been involved in numerous charitable activities. He and his wife run the Friess Family Foundation, whose activities include supporting Christian mobile medical services, sponsoring Water Missions International's work to provide clean water in Malawi, and donating to relief and recovery efforts following natural disasters such as Hurricane Katrina, the 2004 Indonesian tsunami, and the 2010 Haiti earthquake. Friess sponsored a matching grant program to raise $2 million for relief efforts for the 2004 Indonesian tsunami and personally traveled to the areas most affected by the earthquake and tsunami in order to speak with local church and organization leaders to identify the best efforts to support. He sponsored another matching grant for Hurricane Katrina relief efforts, raising more than $4 million to support Katrina victims."

Some of the awards that he has received for his philanthropy: "Childhelp Spirit of the Children Award, 2010, Muhammad Ali Humanitarian Award presented by the Champ, Humanitarian of the Year presented at the National Charity Awards Dinner, Albert Schweitzer Leadership Award, David R. Jones Award for Leadership in Philanthropy, Thomas J. Reese Award from Catholic Charities." That's who he is. A man of virtue. A man who's done far more for people than any liberal in politics today, from Barack Obama on down. And so now he has to be summarily destroyed while we were told to ignore Jeremiah Wright. No, Jeremiah Wright had nothing to do with Obama, there's nothing to see here.

In 1965, 24% of black infants and 3% of white infants were born to single mothers. By 1990 -- and that's still 20 years ago -- by 1990 the rates had risen to 64% of black infants and 18% of white infants born to single mothers. It's gotta be worse now. This is statistics from the Brookings Institute, from a 1996 report. New York Times, 2009: Unmarried mothers gave birth to four out of every ten babies born in the US in 2007. He was just talking about virtue, nothing more.


RUSH: You know, it's funny what offends liberals. It's funny what offends the liberal media. Bill Clinton abusing and ruining the life of an intern. JFK, ditto. It's admirable. That's behavior they want to emulate. But an aspirin joke, boy, look how that offends them. Just really funny these people are.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: friess; humorlessdems; moralabsolutes; rush; rushtranscript
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1 posted on 02/17/2012 11:52:24 AM PST by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

Of course they are offended. Humor is too much for them to Bayer...

2 posted on 02/17/2012 11:54:28 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: Kaslin
Could just be that liberals grasp at the slightest excuse to talk about their favorite subject, which is also one of the few subjects they can really be said to know anything about.

Really they just like to talk about themselves, and pretty much the only thing they can all agree on is that they like to "do it."

3 posted on 02/17/2012 11:55:36 AM PST by Steely Tom (Obama goes on long after the thrill of Obama is gone)
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To: Kaslin

The notion of “personal responsibility” offends Liberals.

4 posted on 02/17/2012 11:56:58 AM PST by ClearCase_guy (I am pro-Jesus, anti-abortion, pro-limited government, anti-GOP.)
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To: Kaslin

I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

5 posted on 02/17/2012 11:58:46 AM PST by SpringtoLiberty (Liberty is on the march!)
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To: Kaslin

geez, ann landers used that old joke 30 years ago

6 posted on 02/17/2012 11:59:56 AM PST by InvisibleChurch ( go in peace , serve the Lord)
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To: Kaslin
"Excuse me, I'm just trying to catch my breath from that, Mr. Friess, frankly."

I wonder if Ms. Andrea Bitchell has googled "Santorum" any time in the past few years, and if those results left her breathless as well....

7 posted on 02/17/2012 12:02:14 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: InvisibleChurch
You referring to Andrea Mitchell?
8 posted on 02/17/2012 12:02:21 PM PST by dblshot (Insanity: electing the same people over and over and expecting different results.)
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To: InvisibleChurch

And I thought they all loved her.

9 posted on 02/17/2012 12:02:49 PM PST by brytlea (An ounce of chocolate is worth a pound of cure)
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To: Steely Tom

“Idiocracy” was the future world of liberals...

“You like sex and money? Me too!”

10 posted on 02/17/2012 12:04:16 PM PST by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter knows whom he's working for)
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To: SpringtoLiberty


11 posted on 02/17/2012 12:06:14 PM PST by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter knows whom he's working for)
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To: Kaslin

I was following some chatter on this subject yesterday. It was the expected hysteria. With free or insurance-covered contraception being “threatened”, from their point of view, they seemed to expect a domino-effect that would result in the compulsory wearing of chastity belts and maybe even the regulation of sex itself. I found it hard to believe people could be so silly. I guess that this little joke was just the last straw.

12 posted on 02/17/2012 12:06:20 PM PST by Southside_Chicago_Republican
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To: MrB

I had to look that up but I’m glad I did.

Now I can quote the Bible and not Futurama.

13 posted on 02/17/2012 12:10:11 PM PST by SpringtoLiberty (Liberty is on the march!)
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To: Kaslin

Plastic surgery affects the brain in horrible, horrible ways.

14 posted on 02/17/2012 12:12:42 PM PST by junta ("Peace is a racket", testimony from crime boss Barrack Hussein Obama.)
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To: Kaslin

My great grandmother said it was an apple but she wasn’t exactly puritanical. LOL

15 posted on 02/17/2012 12:13:06 PM PST by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: Kaslin

Santorum was a wimp for distancing himself from this. I have two daughters 21 and 16 and I can tell you it is so difficult to imbue morals in this Godless society. Rick, my man, you either believe what you are selling or you don’t. The joke is the left’s attitude towards sexuality. It has wrought nothing but misery, debauchery and disease.

16 posted on 02/17/2012 12:22:14 PM PST by LALALAW (one of the asses whose sick of our "ruling" classes)
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To: Kaslin; All

You note how offended the media is by an Aspirin joke, but not by THIS:

VIDEO: BabyMama w/15 Kids and 3 Baby Daddy’s says– “Somebody Needs to Pay For My Kids!”

17 posted on 02/17/2012 12:23:35 PM PST by tcrlaf (Election 2012: THE RAPTURE OF THE DEMOCRATS)
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To: Smokin' Joe

OMG! I posted this comment on FR a few hours ago!

With all this recent controversy about “choice” and religious freedom, I wanted to weigh in and share a little “country wisdom” gained from my maternal grandparents. As some of you might know, I spent a lot of my “formative years” under the influence of my European grandparents, and, possibly my uncle Jim. (Although I’m certain that he’d want no credit for my recollections or comments.). Yep, them Danes can be a very practical and down-to-earth folks. Mine were certainly no exception.

Now were told that because of healthcare costs, we taxpayers are responsible for some woman’s birth control weather we have celebrated in the connubial bliss. I can’t help but recall words of wisdom from grandma Asta. Under grandma’s plan, birth control costs nothing. Well, except the price of a little six pill tin of aspirin. Grandma would be seen dispensing these aspirin tablets to susceptible young women with the instructions to place them between their knees and keep them there. For adherence, grandma guaranteed 100% success!

Yeah, I know you don’t believe me. But them ole Danes. They knew! They knew!

18 posted on 02/17/2012 12:41:38 PM PST by cpa4you (CPA4YOU)
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To: Kaslin

I remember that line from fifty years ago.

19 posted on 02/17/2012 12:46:09 PM PST by reg45 (Barack 0bama: Implementing class warfare by having no class!)
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To: Kaslin
My favorite aspirin joke:

Why does Obama want a 40% tax on aspirin?

Because it's white, and it works.

20 posted on 02/17/2012 12:56:33 PM PST by tacticalogic ("Oh, bother!" said Pooh, as he chambered his last round.)
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