Woman Arrested For Allegedly Soliciting A Hitman To Kill Anyone Over 12 Years Old Wearing Fur

Business Insider ^ | 22 FEB 12 | Michael Brendan Dougherty

[DCBryan1]

Meredith Lowell of Cleveland Heights was arrested for allegedly soliciting a hitman to kill any adult who walked out of the local public library and was wearing fur, according to CBS News.

Lowell allegedly included these details in an email to an undercover FBI agent who contacted her: "I am paying you $730 to kill one person wearing fur who is 12 or older - hopefully at least 14 years, however 12 years old or older is fine. I want them to be dead in under two minutes"

[TYVets]

President of the local PETA chapter.

[EyeGuy]

“Woman Arrested For Allegedly Soliciting A Hitman To Kill Anyone Over 12 Years Old Wearing Fur”

#####

I bought my wife a Lynx coat for CHRISTmas 2 years ago.

But I guess she is safe from Squeaky Fromme here, because she is only 7 years old in Dog Years.

[dfwgator]

Marty Feldman Eyes - Bruce Baum

(To the tune of Bette Davis Eyes)

Her head is growing bald
Her feet are twice her size
She says it’s not her fault
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes

She’ll turn the sprinklers on you
And dry you off with her thighs
She’ll confuse the hell out of you
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes

And she’ll woo you
Then she’ll moon you
And forget to pull her pants up
She’s obnoxious
And she knows it
And she knows how to blow her nose up
All the boys think she’s fried
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes

(Do it dirty!)

She’s ferocious
Narcoleptic
Ambidextrous
Supercalafragalisticexpialadocious
Bogus
Vegamatic
(she slices and she dices!)

All the boys think she’s a guy
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes

You’re so lame
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so lame
You’re so lame, yeah

Jimmy Durante’s nose
And Jimmy Walker’s lips
Liberace’s clothes
Shelly Duvall’s hips
She’s got Willy Nelson legs
And Nancy Reagan’s spleen
Dolly Parton’s lungs
She’s got Leon Spinks’ teeth
Bob Seger’s pancreas

All the boys think she’s some kind of guy
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes

[wbill]

They also use fur, leather and wool, investigators said.

No need to go to the public library and wait for some 12 year old kid in a fur coat. The Local Motorcycle Bar will have plenty of people in leather to target.

Or am I missing her point? /sarc

[NativeSon]

This adds to my list of "web truths":
Hot single female = overweight male living in parents' basement
attractive, well built male = overweight male living in parents' basement
15yo female interested in mature men = overweight male FBI agent
bargain hitman (tm) = FBI agent

[Flycatcher]

Bug eyes = Glandular malfunction?

I don't think anything about that girl is functioning.

[Scythian]

I’d have to see her in a mink coat to render a guilty or innocent verdict ...

[DCBryan1]

And how many people wear fur coats and go to the library?

Probably half as many as those 27 year old, college educated lefties that STILL LIVE WITH THEIR PARENTS and conspire to kill teenagers due to a social political belief.

[SargeK]

In the neighborhood where I work, they kill each other for wearing the wrong color bandana, dirty looks or a lot less cash than that.

[GOPJ]

Evil bitch. Put this one away forever.

[sjmjax]

Anyone who makes fun about Santorum’s comments regarding “good & evil” should be shown this picture.

[Polyxene]

Genesis 1:26 — And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.

[wolfcreek]

She'd look pretty silly if the hitman took out someone wearing faux fur.

[MrB]

ah... another “alternate truth” from the left...

“all cultures are equal”

[MrB]

And, as stated in The Truth Project,

you take any Truth statement by God,
state its exact opposite,

and you get a “truth” of the world.

[Musketeer]

She's got Nancy Pelosi eyes!

[wbill]

Yeah, and where do you come up with a number like $730?

Not $500. Or $1000.

$730 is a number that you arrive at when you're dickering over a used car.

[Buckeye McFrog]

And $730 for a hit? Seriously?

When I lived in Michigan, word on the street was that the going rate for a hit in Flint was $500.

[MrB]

Probably the amount she came up with after emptying her savings and digging through her parents’ couch cushions for change.

[DCBryan1]

Probably the amount she came up with after emptying her savings and digging through her parents’ couch cushions for change.

Hope the PoPo checked in on Mom and Pop, and siblings.....they could have very well been toes up due to this psychotic lefty.