Posted on 04/21/2012 12:30:08 PM PDT by library user
Funny, a similar thing happened to me. During the divorce she suddenly accelerated and swing sharply across two lanes of traffic, right at me... in midtown NYC...at rush hour. What are the odds, steering and gas malfunctioning at the same time as I was starting to cross the street?
True story. Damn lucky that news kiosk was there.
Ask 100 women what a “clutch” is, and 98 will say it’s a handbag.
Watch closely how you wife/girl friend/daughter drives. I I bet you'll see it first hand.
When my first fiance and I broke up she said,”I’m going to miss you.”
I said,”I know you are,I tampered with the sights on your rifle.”
When I was 16 and learning, I thought the clutch was a foot rest.
The Old Man pointed out to me that practice would damage the clutch and throw-out bearing, so I stopped.
“the primary reason they see worn out brake shoes or pads is from riding the brakes with the left foot”
That’s not a problem for me, as I definitely don’t ride the pedals. But it’s also the reason I wouldn’t recommend it for others.
Now that’s an entry for a joke by Jeff Foxtworthy about courtesy smell on the Red Neck Comedy Tour.
With a 5-speed, I have to be a 2-footed driver.
Once I was driving an automatic car and creeping at a light, my left foot just jumped on the brake for no reason. What a shock that was. It was looking for the clutch pedal hehehe.
OK, this blonde’s (male? female? `Pat’ let’s say) car was running roughly and had no acceleration.
The mechanic checked it out and Pat was paying the bill, checking out the repair order.
“What was the problem?” asked Pat.
“Just crap in the carburetor,” said the mechanic.
“I’ll have to get up a little bit earlier before work, but I suppose I can do that.”
Thank you—please, stop!
You’re too kind.
What a great crowd!
What percentage of elderly drivers are women? My grandmother did all the driving after my grandfather had had a couple of heart attacks. And then there are the men who just aren’t there, because they’ve already died.
Once I gave an elderly couple a lift across a mall lot to their car. He couldn’t walk (probably angina or CHF) and she couldn’t drive. Don’t you want me to call someone for you, I kept asking. No, we’ll just sit in the car until he feels better, they said.
It's worse when they fard!
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fard
Did you here when Rush did the bit about women "farding" in their cars?
It was hilarious!
here = hear = yeesh!
I find that hard to believe. Everyone who’s hit the gas and driven through buildings around here (for some reason we have a lot) have been men. One had just bought my old car a couple months earlier. Poor car. It was a good one.
Matches standard equipment turn signals on women’s vehicles: Left and No-Your-Other-Left.
Annual meeting of the National Association of Women Drivers ...
SnakeDoc
Actually, Blond women are eight times as likely as men to hit the accelerator by accident. Fortunately, only about one woman in four is a natural blond.
I’ve heard of a “courtesy flush” and a “courtesy roll” (window down in the car), but I’ve never heard of a courtesy smell.
That does remind me, however, of a great old joke:
Q. Why do farts smell like they do?
A. So that the deaf can also enjoy them.
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