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Molests Your Poodle
Free Republic original content | 5/24/2012 | By Lazamataz

Posted on 05/24/2012 6:49:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz

My Native-American name, from now on, is "Molests Your Poodle." You see, I have recently discovered that I am American Indian -- Cherokee, to be precise.

How did I come to know that I had this wonderful new heritage? Simple: I read Ben Quigly's article about Elizabeth Warren (who is running for the Senate in Massachusetts), in which he defends her claim to be of Cherokee heritage.

Ben produces no evidence that Ms. Warren actually does have Cherokee blood in her veins. In fact, he seems to concede she has none. However, he states that in some metaphysical way, that we are all Cherokee. So, since we are all included in that group, her claim to be Cherokee was in no way intended to be a ruse. It was never intended to gain her political favor and perks in acadamia and other venues, prior to her run for office. It was merely that she intuitively understood that every single person alive is an American Indian.... metaphysically, if not in fact.

Does this not perfectly capture the rationale of the common liberal? If the facts go against you, claim that your case is sound anyways and wave your arms wildly, conjuring images of 'spirits' or 'code words' or 'dog whistles' or 'institutional racism'.

When the facts show that George Zimmerman was viciously attacked by Trayvon Martin, ignore this evidence, press on with the case, and talk about 'institutional racism'.

When the facts show that Obama is a none-too-closeted America-despising Socialist, ignore the evidence and speak of 'dog whistle racism' and 'code words'.

And when your candidate for Senate in Massachusetts has been shown to be an outright liar about her heritage, so that she may receive perks and career enhancements reserved for people actually of that heritage, ignore the facts and preach that it "is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth."

Facts are unimportant to a true-believing liberal. Rationality the first discarded of the luggage they carry.

So, in honor of this absolutely bizarre twisting of reality to conform to a liberal need to adhere to a lie, I would like to honor Ben Quigley with his Native American name: "Lap Poodle of Liberals".

And I am to be known as "Molests Your Poodle".


TOPICS: FReeper Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: Massachusetts
KEYWORDS: vanity
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To: Lazamataz

Sign me up. Thanks


51 posted on 05/24/2012 8:18:36 AM PDT by coffeecup
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To: shibumi; Lazamataz; humblegunner; TheOldLady

“Enola Pakuna”.
Your name means: “Solitary Deer Jumping Downhill”

WTF?

So I’m a Siouxicidal cervine?


52 posted on 05/24/2012 8:22:09 AM PDT by Salamander (Holy muscle of love.....I got a muscle of love.)
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To: xp38; Lazamataz
"I have no native blood in me so I feel deprived but I would gladly join the Laz tribe since it sounds like the coolest tribal name."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laz_people

53 posted on 05/24/2012 8:24:38 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon (Time for a write-in campaign...Darryl Dixon for President)
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To: Lazamataz

My dad swore that six generations back, somebody in his family married an Indian.

Although I have high cheekbones, I have never attempted to capitalize on it.

;-P


54 posted on 05/24/2012 8:24:38 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: xp38; Lazamataz

Once more, with feeling....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laz_people


55 posted on 05/24/2012 8:26:12 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon (Time for a write-in campaign...Darryl Dixon for President)
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To: glock rocks

98 Satisfied Customers!™


56 posted on 05/24/2012 8:31:24 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: CatherineofAragon

WOW! My tribal roots!!!


57 posted on 05/24/2012 8:32:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: coffeecup

99 Satisfied Customers!™


58 posted on 05/24/2012 8:33:47 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz

Yeah ok but I am hoping you would open and lead the North American branch of the tribe.


59 posted on 05/24/2012 8:34:02 AM PDT by xp38
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To: ImJustAnotherOkie

I was waiting for that one


60 posted on 05/24/2012 8:35:20 AM PDT by markman46 (engage brain before using keyboard!!!)
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To: Lazamataz

Do Poodles like peanut butter?


61 posted on 05/24/2012 8:37:31 AM PDT by ŖuddaŖudd
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To: Salamander; shibumi; Lazamataz; humblegunner

Your Native American Name Is: Sooleawa Malila [Oddly, they got the initials right - of my maiden name]

Your name means: Silver Fast Salmon Swimming Up a Rippling Stream [Nah, I’m too fat]

They can’t all be spot on, I guess, LOL!


62 posted on 05/24/2012 8:37:42 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Lazamataz

AKA “Hits Your Dog”.


63 posted on 05/24/2012 8:40:05 AM PDT by RichInOC (Palin 2012: The Perfect Storm.)
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To: Lazamataz

Please put me on this ping list. Thanks for the laughs.


64 posted on 05/24/2012 8:40:37 AM PDT by amom
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To: Salamander
“Enola Pakuna”.

Your name means: “Solitary Deer Jumping Downhill”

"Pakuna Matata"

"Jump down the hill and don't worry about it"

65 posted on 05/24/2012 8:40:50 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: TheOldLady

Wow.

That’s a *long* name.


66 posted on 05/24/2012 8:44:00 AM PDT by Salamander (Holy muscle of love.....I got a muscle of love.)
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To: markman46

Glad to be of service


67 posted on 05/24/2012 8:46:28 AM PDT by ImJustAnotherOkie (zerogottago)
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To: humblegunner

Uh, yeah.

We met that dumb deer when hubby still had his chopper.

It jumped off a bank right onto the front tire of the Harley.

Thank God hubby is a good rider.

Damn ditzy doe.


68 posted on 05/24/2012 8:46:28 AM PDT by Salamander (Holy muscle of love.....I got a muscle of love.)
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To: amom
YOU ARE LUCKY 100!!!!!

100 Satisfied Customers!™

69 posted on 05/24/2012 8:49:18 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz

Lucky 100!!!!! YES!!!!!


70 posted on 05/24/2012 8:54:29 AM PDT by amom
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To: Lazamataz
"100 Satisfied Customers!™"

Laz, please go ahead and sign me up as well ...

I'm that silly millimeter longer .. 101.

71 posted on 05/24/2012 8:54:52 AM PDT by BlueLancer ("No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full" (Sulla))
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To: Salamander

Yeah, I already forgot it.


72 posted on 05/24/2012 8:55:05 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Lazamataz

Yeah, now you know there actually was a place called “Lazistan.”


73 posted on 05/24/2012 9:00:57 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon (Time for a write-in campaign...Darryl Dixon for President)
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To: Lazamataz

Laz is exercising his “Inner Arab” with this article. Clearly, the “Molests Your Poodle” is derived from the name of Achmedidyerdog- the Iranian Leader.

We understand the reason for the lack of attribution, Laz. From worrying about scalping to worrying about “neck cutting”, a literary life has never been an easy one.

;-)


74 posted on 05/24/2012 9:08:25 AM PDT by GladesGuru (In a society predicated upon freedom, it is necessary to examine principles."...the public interest)
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To: humblegunner
“hopefully only good work will stay in FreeperEd.

Material lacking in quality will be moved to a different category.. “SpecialEd”.”

I thought that category would have been titled “ShortBus” in honor of the preferred mode of transportation for Liberals voted out of office.

75 posted on 05/24/2012 9:12:29 AM PDT by GladesGuru (In a society predicated upon freedom, it is necessary to examine principles."...the public interest)
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To: Lazamataz; All
*chuckle*... i guess your "Native American name" (while humorous :)...
is better than IBin Hiden's "had sexual affairs with a sheep/chamel".

76 posted on 05/24/2012 9:35:09 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (WA. DC E$tabli$hment; DNC/RNC/Unionists...Brazilian saying: "$@me Old $hit; different flie$". :^)
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To: Lazamataz

Little Indian boy asks Mama-squaw:

“Mama-squaw, how did I get my name?”

“Well, you see, son, we have this tradition. When the mother gives birth, she looks outside the tepee and names her child after the first thing she sees.

That’s why your brother is named Standing Elk, and your sister is named Little Doe.

Why do you ask, Two Dogs F.....g?”


77 posted on 05/24/2012 9:38:24 AM PDT by Erasmus (BHO: New supreme leader of the homey rollin' empire.)
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To: ImJustAnotherOkie

You gotta get up pretty damn early in the morning around here....


78 posted on 05/24/2012 9:41:47 AM PDT by Erasmus (BHO: New supreme leader of the homey rollin' empire.)
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To: P.O.E.

‘Swift Horny Toad’.


79 posted on 05/24/2012 9:43:53 AM PDT by real saxophonist (The fact that you play tuba doesn't make you any less lethal. -USMC bandsman in Iraq)
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To: Erasmus
ARGHHHHH

Gee, I hope I hear that same joke a few more times.... LOL

80 posted on 05/24/2012 9:47:33 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: blueunicorn6; Lazamataz
"I’d forgot to wear my buckskin breeches."
LOL! / funny funny stuff! :-D

81 posted on 05/24/2012 9:49:03 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (WA. DC E$tabli$hment; DNC/RNC/Unionists...Brazilian saying: "$@me Old $hit; different flie$". :^)
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To: Lazamataz

My Indian name is:

“squaw who like-um heap big wampum”

Wampum change-um everything!


82 posted on 05/24/2012 9:53:40 AM PDT by homegroan (Veni, Vedi, Velcro....since 1998)
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To: Lazamataz

OK, I’ll admit I’m Choctaw Indian. My great great grandfather from England, on my father’s side, lived in Arkansas, married a Choctaw Indian woman when the tribe went through Arkansas to get to Oklahoma where they had been sent. Both my mother and father grew up in Arkansas and except for the Indian woman, the rest were English on both sides.

My parents told me this and the Indian heritage was common knowledge in my family.

I wouldn’t think, that long ago, that records were kept of marriages.

So, I can’t prove it but I know it’s there. Maybe I should put “Indian” on any document I need to fill out. I demand money from this Indian hating government and I want a piece of Oklahoma where this Indian hating governnent sent my Indian ancestors.

And, I got no money from this Indian hating government to pay for my extensive schooling. I demand that money back.

Gee, it’s great to be an Indian.


83 posted on 05/24/2012 10:11:43 AM PDT by Marcella (God wouldn't vote for Romney so I won't, either.)
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To: Lazamataz

Hold your horses, Mister! When I was just a young thing, playing cowboys and Indians out back...I don’t think I was ever the Cherokee!!!

I was a proud Cowboy(girl)!!!

Got ‘em every time, too. My 6-shooter finger was an excellent shot.


84 posted on 05/24/2012 10:45:33 AM PDT by Bradís Gramma (PRAY for this country like your life depends on it......because it DOES!)
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To: MissMagnolia

Superior Flute Girl.....

Good grief. :)


85 posted on 05/24/2012 10:50:57 AM PDT by Bradís Gramma (PRAY for this country like your life depends on it......because it DOES!)
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To: Brad's Gramma
Superior Flute Girl....

Oh, if you were only a little younger...... (sigh).....

86 posted on 05/24/2012 10:53:42 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz

I *act* young?

;)

Flu-T-e ..... Not Fluke, Laz...


87 posted on 05/24/2012 10:55:30 AM PDT by Bradís Gramma (PRAY for this country like your life depends on it......because it DOES!)
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To: Lazamataz

I come from a tribe of Jewish Indians...

...the Schmohawks.

My Native American name is Hiawathowitz, which means “Never Pays Retail.”


88 posted on 05/24/2012 11:02:37 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Lazamataz
Molests Your Poodle

< Dog Whisperer > *tssst!!!* *snaps fingers* < / Dog Whisperer >

Signed,

Olathe Litonya - Beautiful Darting Hummingbird

89 posted on 05/24/2012 11:06:51 AM PDT by RMDupree (I'm not really here.)
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To: ImJustAnotherOkie

LOL my indian name is falling rock!!!!


90 posted on 05/24/2012 11:33:12 AM PDT by markman46 (engage brain before using keyboard!!!)
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To: Brad's Gramma
Did they ever play Medicine Man with you?

≤}B^)

91 posted on 05/24/2012 11:33:18 AM PDT by Erasmus (BHO: New supreme leader of the homey rollin' empire.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

:-)


92 posted on 05/24/2012 11:37:23 AM PDT by TexasRepublic (Socialism is the gospel of envy and the religion of thieves)
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To: TexasRepublic

Zei gezunt!


93 posted on 05/24/2012 11:41:47 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Erasmus
NO!!!

Sheesh! We were well bred German farm kids...posing as Cowboys.

94 posted on 05/24/2012 12:29:15 PM PDT by Bradís Gramma (PRAY for this country like your life depends on it......because it DOES!)
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To: Lazamataz; momtothree; P.O.E.

I wish I could come up with a cool “Indian sounding” name...


95 posted on 05/24/2012 2:58:30 PM PDT by Rides_A_Red_Horse
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To: Lazamataz; Army Air Corps; All

OK Laz, I’ll acknowledge your Indian heritage and raise you some Royal lineage!

The limits of absurdity

By Norm Lenhart

Rush Limbaugh is famous for his ability to ‘use absurdity to illustrate the absurd’. It’s often hilarious and grinds down to the crux of his topic du jour. But how many of us ever really stop to think about how very ‘absurd” some of the absolute garbage we are fed daily by the Democrats and the MSM really is? Because we are being fed increasing levels of absurdity daily, we are growing immune. We don’t even bat an eye at some of the BS anymore because it’s expected. In reality that ‘absurdity’ is part and parcel of the Cloward-Piven strategy to overwhelm the system...the system being the American people and what we truly believe.

I want to make a statement. The name “Lenhart” is a variation of “Lionheart” which carries royal lineage. Further, I have been told by my grandmother that we have a heritage with roots back into the American Indian Mohawk tribe. I now state that As I am descended from Kings and carry within me the genetic legacy of the Original People, that I am not only entitled to special treatment, both financially and politically, but I am entitled to rule over Americans of ‘lesser stock’.

Now I want some liberal apologist to tell me how I, with links to the past that I CAN prove, should be denied and Elizabeth Warren and her claims, which she cannot, is accepted. Does any thinking person believe for a moment that my legacy entitles me to something over and above my fellow man or woman? How? Exactly?

Likewise, lets consider the absolute fallacy being spouted by the Obama Admin and designated agents over his spending claims of frugality. Millions unemployed, daily reports of companies laying off and bankruptcy, ‘accounting’ tricks that wouldn’t make it through a high school business math course and the American version of Saddam’s PR department standing before us doing an impression of “The Liar”.

We expect this. We accept this. And that’s the problem. Perhaps instead of expectation and acceptance, we should be laughing in the face of any person so blatantly stupid as to promote it. The MSM, the local politician and the President of the United States alike.

On the other hand, I promise to be a just ruler, who yields authority to no man. Except for my fellow Freeper “Army Air Corps” who has laid claim to the throne of the Galactic Empire. If fantasy and absurdity are the order of the day and Elisabeth Warren can milk that cow, then so shall we.

The Royal ‘we’.


96 posted on 05/24/2012 3:23:10 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse
I wish I could come up with a cool “Indian sounding” name...

Yeah, but how likely is THAT??!?!

97 posted on 05/24/2012 3:28:26 PM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz; Rides_A_Red_Horse

He’s dreaming....


98 posted on 05/24/2012 3:29:49 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Norm Lenhart

This is almost worthy of expansion into it’s own editorial, bro. Post ‘er. (I’d probably isolate and focus your point a little finer... but yeah....)


99 posted on 05/24/2012 3:35:39 PM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz

It was just a quickie inspired by your thread and a conversation with AAC on another.

All kidding aside though, I cannot fathom how the crap coming out of people’s mouths in the last few months is on a ballistic trajectory into the purest of fantasy. Warren, Saint Skittles, Obama’s financial fantasy...it’s one mega lie topped by the 10th power extrapolation next lie, over again.

If we are not hitting the point where all but the liberal inner circle is saying “Wait a sec...” then cash it in . America has not a prayer of salvation.


100 posted on 05/24/2012 3:41:44 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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