Skip to comments.Molests Your Poodle
Posted on 05/24/2012 6:49:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz
My Native-American name, from now on, is "Molests Your Poodle." You see, I have recently discovered that I am American Indian -- Cherokee, to be precise.
How did I come to know that I had this wonderful new heritage? Simple: I read Ben Quigly's article about Elizabeth Warren (who is running for the Senate in Massachusetts), in which he defends her claim to be of Cherokee heritage.
Ben produces no evidence that Ms. Warren actually does have Cherokee blood in her veins. In fact, he seems to concede she has none. However, he states that in some metaphysical way, that we are all Cherokee. So, since we are all included in that group, her claim to be Cherokee was in no way intended to be a ruse. It was never intended to gain her political favor and perks in acadamia and other venues, prior to her run for office. It was merely that she intuitively understood that every single person alive is an American Indian.... metaphysically, if not in fact.
Does this not perfectly capture the rationale of the common liberal? If the facts go against you, claim that your case is sound anyways and wave your arms wildly, conjuring images of 'spirits' or 'code words' or 'dog whistles' or 'institutional racism'.
When the facts show that George Zimmerman was viciously attacked by Trayvon Martin, ignore this evidence, press on with the case, and talk about 'institutional racism'.
When the facts show that Obama is a none-too-closeted America-despising Socialist, ignore the evidence and speak of 'dog whistle racism' and 'code words'.
And when your candidate for Senate in Massachusetts has been shown to be an outright liar about her heritage, so that she may receive perks and career enhancements reserved for people actually of that heritage, ignore the facts and preach that it "is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth."
Facts are unimportant to a true-believing liberal. Rationality the first discarded of the luggage they carry.
So, in honor of this absolutely bizarre twisting of reality to conform to a liberal need to adhere to a lie, I would like to honor Ben Quigley with his Native American name: "Lap Poodle of Liberals".
And I am to be known as "Molests Your Poodle".
Sign me up. Thanks
Your name means: “Solitary Deer Jumping Downhill”
So I’m a Siouxicidal cervine?
My dad swore that six generations back, somebody in his family married an Indian.
Although I have high cheekbones, I have never attempted to capitalize on it.
Once more, with feeling....
98 Satisfied Customers!
WOW! My tribal roots!!!
99 Satisfied Customers!
Yeah ok but I am hoping you would open and lead the North American branch of the tribe.
I was waiting for that one
Do Poodles like peanut butter?
Your Native American Name Is: Sooleawa Malila [Oddly, they got the initials right - of my maiden name]
Your name means: Silver Fast Salmon Swimming Up a Rippling Stream [Nah, I’m too fat]
They can’t all be spot on, I guess, LOL!
AKA “Hits Your Dog”.
Please put me on this ping list. Thanks for the laughs.
Your name means: Solitary Deer Jumping Downhill
"Jump down the hill and don't worry about it"
That’s a *long* name.
Glad to be of service
We met that dumb deer when hubby still had his chopper.
It jumped off a bank right onto the front tire of the Harley.
Thank God hubby is a good rider.
Damn ditzy doe.
100 Satisfied Customers!
Lucky 100!!!!! YES!!!!!
Laz, please go ahead and sign me up as well ...
I'm that silly millimeter longer .. 101.
Yeah, I already forgot it.
Yeah, now you know there actually was a place called “Lazistan.”
Laz is exercising his “Inner Arab” with this article. Clearly, the “Molests Your Poodle” is derived from the name of Achmedidyerdog- the Iranian Leader.
We understand the reason for the lack of attribution, Laz. From worrying about scalping to worrying about “neck cutting”, a literary life has never been an easy one.
Material lacking in quality will be moved to a different category.. “SpecialEd”.”
I thought that category would have been titled “ShortBus” in honor of the preferred mode of transportation for Liberals voted out of office.
Little Indian boy asks Mama-squaw:
“Mama-squaw, how did I get my name?”
“Well, you see, son, we have this tradition. When the mother gives birth, she looks outside the tepee and names her child after the first thing she sees.
That’s why your brother is named Standing Elk, and your sister is named Little Doe.
Why do you ask, Two Dogs F.....g?”
You gotta get up pretty damn early in the morning around here....
‘Swift Horny Toad’.
Gee, I hope I hear that same joke a few more times.... LOL
My Indian name is:
“squaw who like-um heap big wampum”
Wampum change-um everything!
OK, I’ll admit I’m Choctaw Indian. My great great grandfather from England, on my father’s side, lived in Arkansas, married a Choctaw Indian woman when the tribe went through Arkansas to get to Oklahoma where they had been sent. Both my mother and father grew up in Arkansas and except for the Indian woman, the rest were English on both sides.
My parents told me this and the Indian heritage was common knowledge in my family.
I wouldn’t think, that long ago, that records were kept of marriages.
So, I can’t prove it but I know it’s there. Maybe I should put “Indian” on any document I need to fill out. I demand money from this Indian hating government and I want a piece of Oklahoma where this Indian hating governnent sent my Indian ancestors.
And, I got no money from this Indian hating government to pay for my extensive schooling. I demand that money back.
Gee, it’s great to be an Indian.
Hold your horses, Mister! When I was just a young thing, playing cowboys and Indians out back...I don’t think I was ever the Cherokee!!!
I was a proud Cowboy(girl)!!!
Got ‘em every time, too. My 6-shooter finger was an excellent shot.
Superior Flute Girl.....
Good grief. :)
Oh, if you were only a little younger...... (sigh).....
I *act* young?
Flu-T-e ..... Not Fluke, Laz...
I come from a tribe of Jewish Indians...
My Native American name is Hiawathowitz, which means “Never Pays Retail.”
< Dog Whisperer > *tssst!!!* *snaps fingers* < / Dog Whisperer >
Olathe Litonya - Beautiful Darting Hummingbird
LOL my indian name is falling rock!!!!
Sheesh! We were well bred German farm kids...posing as Cowboys.
I wish I could come up with a cool “Indian sounding” name...
OK Laz, I’ll acknowledge your Indian heritage and raise you some Royal lineage!
The limits of absurdity
By Norm Lenhart
Rush Limbaugh is famous for his ability to ‘use absurdity to illustrate the absurd’. It’s often hilarious and grinds down to the crux of his topic du jour. But how many of us ever really stop to think about how very ‘absurd some of the absolute garbage we are fed daily by the Democrats and the MSM really is? Because we are being fed increasing levels of absurdity daily, we are growing immune. We don’t even bat an eye at some of the BS anymore because it’s expected. In reality that ‘absurdity’ is part and parcel of the Cloward-Piven strategy to overwhelm the system...the system being the American people and what we truly believe.
I want to make a statement. The name Lenhart is a variation of Lionheart which carries royal lineage. Further, I have been told by my grandmother that we have a heritage with roots back into the American Indian Mohawk tribe. I now state that As I am descended from Kings and carry within me the genetic legacy of the Original People, that I am not only entitled to special treatment, both financially and politically, but I am entitled to rule over Americans of ‘lesser stock’.
Now I want some liberal apologist to tell me how I, with links to the past that I CAN prove, should be denied and Elizabeth Warren and her claims, which she cannot, is accepted. Does any thinking person believe for a moment that my legacy entitles me to something over and above my fellow man or woman? How? Exactly?
Likewise, lets consider the absolute fallacy being spouted by the Obama Admin and designated agents over his spending claims of frugality. Millions unemployed, daily reports of companies laying off and bankruptcy, ‘accounting’ tricks that wouldn’t make it through a high school business math course and the American version of Saddam’s PR department standing before us doing an impression of The Liar.
We expect this. We accept this. And that’s the problem. Perhaps instead of expectation and acceptance, we should be laughing in the face of any person so blatantly stupid as to promote it. The MSM, the local politician and the President of the United States alike.
On the other hand, I promise to be a just ruler, who yields authority to no man. Except for my fellow Freeper Army Air Corps who has laid claim to the throne of the Galactic Empire. If fantasy and absurdity are the order of the day and Elisabeth Warren can milk that cow, then so shall we.
The Royal ‘we’.
Yeah, but how likely is THAT??!?!
This is almost worthy of expansion into it’s own editorial, bro. Post ‘er. (I’d probably isolate and focus your point a little finer... but yeah....)
It was just a quickie inspired by your thread and a conversation with AAC on another.
All kidding aside though, I cannot fathom how the crap coming out of people’s mouths in the last few months is on a ballistic trajectory into the purest of fantasy. Warren, Saint Skittles, Obama’s financial fantasy...it’s one mega lie topped by the 10th power extrapolation next lie, over again.
If we are not hitting the point where all but the liberal inner circle is saying “Wait a sec...” then cash it in . America has not a prayer of salvation.