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Two Classes, Divided by I Do
New York Times ^ | July 14, 2012 | JASON DePARLE

Posted on 07/15/2012 6:00:43 AM PDT by reaganaut1

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Jessica Schairer has so much in common with her boss, Chris Faulkner, that a visitor to the day care center they run might get them confused.

They are both friendly white women from modest Midwestern backgrounds who left for college with conventional hopes of marriage, motherhood and career. They both have children in elementary school. They pass their days in similar ways: juggling toddlers, coaching teachers and swapping small secrets that mark them as friends. They even got tattoos together. Though Ms. Faulkner, as the boss, earns more money, the difference is a gap, not a chasm.

But a friendship that evokes parity by day becomes a study of inequality at night and a testament to the way family structure deepens class divides. Ms. Faulkner is married and living on two paychecks, while Ms. Schairer is raising her children by herself. That gives the Faulkner family a profound advantage in income and nurturing time, and makes their children statistically more likely to finish college, find good jobs and form stable marriages.

Ms. Faulkner goes home to a trim subdivision and weekends crowded with children’s events. Ms. Schairer’s rent consumes more than half her income, and she scrapes by on food stamps.

“I see Chris’s kids — they’re in swimming and karate and baseball and Boy Scouts, and it seems like it’s always her or her husband who’s able to make it there,” Ms. Schairer said. “That’s something I wish I could do for my kids. But number one, that stuff costs a lot of money and, two, I just don’t have the time.”

The economic storms of recent years have raised concerns about growing inequality and questions about a core national faith, that even Americans of humble backgrounds have a good chance of getting ahead.

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: illegitimacy; unwedmothers
Subsidize illegitimacy less and you will get less of it.

It is not entirely coincidental that the unwed mother profiled in the story was ditched by her black boyfriend after they had three children. Obama's father similarly ditched his family. It would be nice if more white women woke up and looked at the rates at which black men desert their families. Once upon a time families could explain such things to their daughters, but now stating such facts is called racist. Ask John Derbyshire.

1 posted on 07/15/2012 6:00:49 AM PDT by reaganaut1
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To: reaganaut1

This NYT pity piece should have been accompanied by the Captain Obvious photo. God intends for children to have two parents to take care of them. Doing it another way will create many problems. The Left wants ever-bigger government to be Daddy. How’s that working out, America?


2 posted on 07/15/2012 6:07:11 AM PDT by txrefugee
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To: reaganaut1

“But a friendship that evokes parity by day becomes a study of inequality at night and a testament to the way family structure deepens class divides. Ms. Faulkner is married and living on two paychecks, while Ms. Schairer is raising her children by herself. That gives the Faulkner family a profound advantage in income and nurturing time, and makes their children statistically more likely to finish college, find good jobs and form stable marriages”

Then clearly, per the Supreme Court, we ought to TAX Ms Faulkner out of the second income of her husband and the additional time her husband provides in order to address the inequality! NOT! Guess what. There is NO INEQUALITY HERE! It’s LIFE!


3 posted on 07/15/2012 6:10:53 AM PDT by Castigar
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To: reaganaut1

To achieve equality force Mrs Faulkner to get a divorce.


4 posted on 07/15/2012 6:14:18 AM PDT by Drango (A liberal's compassion is limited only by the size of someone else's wallet.)
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To: reaganaut1
This article is wrong in so many ways. I definitely shook my head at this quote:

“It is the privileged Americans who are marrying, and marrying helps them stay privileged,” said Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University.

Talk about making stuff up just to fit a pathetic agenda. Also, personal choices in who these single moms marry (or have kids with) comes into play; whether the 'I do's stick or not, responsible guys pay to support their children; losers don't.

5 posted on 07/15/2012 6:16:10 AM PDT by hollywood (Stay on topic, please.)
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To: reaganaut1

Then Ms. Schairer should have kept her legs closed until her honeymoon. Harsh, but that’s how it works. She made her choice to sleep with and have children with a man without being married, and sadly they all have to face the fallout.

}:-)4


6 posted on 07/15/2012 6:24:35 AM PDT by Moose4 (...and walk away.)
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To: hollywood

A woman who works her butt off at a daycare center to help her husband support their family is not “privileged” in any way except for having more common sense in her great toe than her shack-up friend has in her whole body.


7 posted on 07/15/2012 6:24:50 AM PDT by madprof98
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To: reaganaut1
The Bible has all of the answers to this problem. Persuading people to read it and live by it is the problem, though.

Matthew 5:32: but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

And again, He says: Malachi 2:16 "For I hate divorce,"says the Lord, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong,"says the Lord of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

Several key items from the article itself show that even worldly people who do not acknowledge God know the truth:

“It is the privileged Americans who are marrying, and marrying helps them stay privileged,” said Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University.

Sara McLanahan, a Princeton sociologist, warns that family structure increasingly consigns children to “diverging destinies.” (One destiny good, the other bad...in other words.)

Getting involved with someone who had a different value system: My pleasure is more important than your destiny or life outcome.

Abortion crossed her mind, but her boyfriend, an African-American student from Arkansas, said they should start a family.

This woman still has character left, and that is the MOST impressive thing about the entire article. She keeps herself and her children going to church to try to establish a value system. That is more than can be said for the "boyfriend" who sends no child support. And, last and most important of all, she admits it is ALL because of her poor decisions. The first step to solving a problem is to admit that you have one.

You will NEVER hear this from the Democrat party.

She got pregnant during her first year of college, left school and stayed in a troubled relationship that left her with three children when it finally collapsed six years ago. She has had little contact with the children’s father and receives no child support. With an annual income of just under $25,000, Ms. Schairer barely lifts her children out of poverty, but she is not one to complain. “I’m in this position because of decisions I made,” she said.

This nation has got to return to God or it is going to face destruction. I am hearing from more and more FOREIGNERS here that the situation is developing rapidly into the same situations that lead to extreme violence in their countries.

8 posted on 07/15/2012 6:31:32 AM PDT by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: reaganaut1

Very true and well-thought-out comment.


9 posted on 07/15/2012 6:32:18 AM PDT by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: hollywood
“It is the privileged responsible Americans who are marrying, and marrying helps them stay privileged,”to continue to meet their responsibilities.
10 posted on 07/15/2012 6:33:40 AM PDT by Mygirlsmom (Are you breathing????? There's a tax for that.)
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To: hollywood

The statement is correct. Marriage builds wealth and divorce destroys it. Documented many times over.


11 posted on 07/15/2012 6:34:42 AM PDT by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: Mygirlsmom

Oooh...good one.


12 posted on 07/15/2012 6:36:08 AM PDT by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: Castigar
Ms. Faulkner is married and living on two paychecks, while Ms. Schairer is raising her children by herself. That gives the Faulkner family a profound advantage in income and nurturing time, and makes their children statistically more likely to finish college, find good jobs and form stable marriages”

I hate to break this to the Times, but even if the married woman stayed home and the family lived on one pay check the rest of these facts would still be true.

13 posted on 07/15/2012 6:45:11 AM PDT by CaptainK (...please make it stop. Shake a can of pennies at it.)
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To: reaganaut1

The real class division in our country...the one that matters...is between people who can write an article like this and be proud of it, and people who’d be too damn embarrassed to.


14 posted on 07/15/2012 6:47:10 AM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (OWS = The Great American Snivel War)
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To: Castigar
[sarcastically] we ought to TAX Ms Faulkner out of the second income of her husband

Looks like that is already happening. From the article:

In February, she received $7,000 of refundable tax credits, the low-wage worker’s annual bonus. 

And it's not a "bonus". It's a %&***%# welfare check administered by the IRS.

15 posted on 07/15/2012 6:50:54 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (You only have three billion heartbeats in a lifetime.How many does the government claim as its own?)
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To: reaganaut1

This isn’t about equality or privilege. This is about personal choices and the consequences of our actions.


16 posted on 07/15/2012 6:54:26 AM PDT by TwelveOfTwenty (With choices like Palin, Cain, and Bachmann, what could go wrong? Now we know.)
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To: MeneMeneTekelUpharsin
The intentional use of the class-warfare word 'privileged' in the quote is what irks me about it. I believe 'fortunate' is the more appropriate word to use in this context when describing how one's life may turn out, which is based on upbringing, personal choices, happenstance, etc.

However, if the pity-party authors are trying to make the case that society (i.e., the cost of living) should be molded around the single-parent concept, then that will only make the 'privileged' married ones even more so, as they'll have double the support (until the tax man penalizes them.)

17 posted on 07/15/2012 7:06:25 AM PDT by hollywood (Stay on topic, please.)
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To: reaganaut1
She got pregnant during her first year of college, left school and stayed in a troubled relationship that left her with three children when it finally collapsed six years ago. She has had little contact with the children’s father and receives no child support. With an annual income of just under $25,000, Ms. Schairer barely lifts her children out of poverty, but she is not one to complain. “I’m in this position because of decisions I made,” she said.

I wish one of my own family members had the character to understand this. Unfortunately she has deteriorated into severe mental problems and lives in a world of her own, where she is perfect and everyone else is wrong.

18 posted on 07/15/2012 7:07:23 AM PDT by Vince Ferrer
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To: TwelveOfTwenty

Exactly.

While this was definitely a barf article, at least the NYT allowed a little truth to seep in...

” Ms. Schairer.....she is not one to complain. “I’m in this position because of decisions I made,” she said.”

The NYT is the one doing the complaining.


19 posted on 07/15/2012 7:11:12 AM PDT by moovova (Ladies & Gentlemen...Pandora has left the box.)
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To: reaganaut1
EXTRA! EXTRA! The Privileged Ones gorge while the majority Victims of America are left out, say the Nytimese.

Folks, mostly white, who work hard from the start are unfairly granted privileges -- what gives that the status to dictate winners and losers? the Nytimese ask.

20 posted on 07/15/2012 7:15:52 AM PDT by WilliamofCarmichael (If modern America's Man on Horseback is out there, Get on the damn horse already!)
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To: reaganaut1
It is SO unfair that Ms. Faulkner gets to go home to a trim subdivision with neatly mowed lawns, pretty flowers and a nice two-story colonial.

I look forward to the day when the State has finally made us ALL equal.


21 posted on 07/15/2012 7:18:17 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: reaganaut1

Steveon sure has a lot of toys for a poor boy. Too bad his mother doesn’t insist that he clean up his room. It looks like a pigsty.


22 posted on 07/15/2012 7:20:05 AM PDT by ladyjane
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To: hollywood

...responsible guys pay to support their children; losers don’t.

&&&
And responsible women don’t have children until they are married to a responsible and honorable man.


23 posted on 07/15/2012 9:21:48 AM PDT by Bigg Red (Pray for our republic.)
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To: Moose4

I agree with all that you said.

Re: She made her choice to sleep with and have children with a man without being married, and sadly they all have to face the fallout.

The saddest part is that the children, who had no say in their parents’ bad choices, are forced to deal with the consequences of said choices.


24 posted on 07/15/2012 9:24:06 AM PDT by Bigg Red (Pray for our republic.)
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To: reaganaut1
It is not entirely coincidental that the unwed mother profiled in the story was ditched by her black boyfriend after they had three children. Obama's father similarly ditched his family. It would be nice if more white women woke up and looked at the rates at which black men desert their families. Once upon a time families could explain such things to their daughters, but now stating such facts is called racist. Ask John Derbyshire.

But black boyfriends are no much more exciting and edgy than the boring middle class white guys she would otherwise be stuck with.

There's a girl in my neighborhood who got pregnant by her black boyfriend. The kid is being raised by her parents, for the most part. I don't see her as having much of a future. What they don't tell girls is that men are much less likely to marry a woman who comes with some one else's kids. And even less likely if the kids are black.

25 posted on 07/15/2012 10:24:33 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (If I can't be persuasive, I at least hope to be fun.)
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To: Drango
“It is the privileged Americans who are marrying, and marrying helps them stay privileged,” said Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University"

the tone of this article is that those who marry and have successful lives SHOULD BE STOPPED because its not fair compared to the group that wants sex outside of marriage and children and then wonder why they can never get ahead....

PUNISH the married people for doing it the right way.... '

26 posted on 07/15/2012 10:46:04 AM PDT by cherry (/)
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To: Drango
“It is the privileged Americans who are marrying, and marrying helps them stay privileged,” said Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University"

the tone of this article is that those who marry and have successful lives SHOULD BE STOPPED because its not fair compared to the group that wants sex outside of marriage and children and then wonder why they can never get ahead....

PUNISH the married people for doing it the right way.... '

27 posted on 07/15/2012 10:46:09 AM PDT by cherry (/)
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To: ladyjane

I take it you don’t often go into young boys bedrooms? A couple plastic $10 guns, and you call that a lot of toys?

Most boys his age that I know will have a trunk full of those, along with a computer, iPad, iPod, Xbox, Playstation, and a shelf full of games and DVD’s. The joke that it’s not punishment to send a kid to his room is now so ubiquitous that it is stale. It’s more true than it is funny.

I do see poverty in that kid’s bedroom.


28 posted on 07/15/2012 11:40:38 AM PDT by Melas (u)
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To: reaganaut1
now stating such facts is called racist. Ask John Derbyshire.

Whoa...don't know I missed that little tidbit.

John Derbyshire is as racist as they come. Kudos to Lowry for canning him.

29 posted on 07/15/2012 11:51:35 AM PDT by Melas (u)
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To: Melas
John Derbyshire is as racist as they come. Kudos to Lowry for canning him.

Some think he's racist. Others think he's just telling the truth. Perhaps the truth IS racist these days. And compared to what an increasing number of my friends are saying, Derby's quite moderate.

30 posted on 07/15/2012 1:02:37 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (If I can't be persuasive, I at least hope to be fun.)
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To: PapaBear3625
compared to what an increasing number of my friends are saying, Derby's quite moderate

If your friends are making looking Derby look even the least bit moderate, you must be hanging around skinheads and white nationalists.

31 posted on 07/15/2012 2:46:22 PM PDT by Melas (u)
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To: Melas
Have you taken a look at the comments section of any news article about black-on-white violence? Many of the comments there would have been considered too "over the top" by many skinheads a few years ago.

Over here is Derby's latest. Please explain to us unenlightened souls what is so extremely racist about what he points out?

32 posted on 07/15/2012 2:52:09 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (If I can't be persuasive, I at least hope to be fun.)
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To: PapaBear3625

Me, give Taki Theodoracopulos hits? I don’t think so.


33 posted on 07/15/2012 5:39:52 PM PDT by Melas (u)
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To: Melas

To each his own. I don’t go to Taki’s site much, I don’t recall seeing anything there that I found objectionable. I’ve read several of Darby’s articles, didn’t see much there that I disagreed with. Your mileage may vary.


34 posted on 07/15/2012 6:21:01 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (If I can't be persuasive, I at least hope to be fun.)
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To: Melas

No, I don’t go into boys’ bedrooms. I frequently see how poorly they behave in public so it’s not surprising they are allowed to keep their rooms looking like pigstys. BTW, the other boy’s room didn’t look that bad.


35 posted on 07/15/2012 7:08:22 PM PDT by ladyjane
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To: ladyjane

I never commented on the mess, only his lack of possessions.


36 posted on 07/15/2012 8:05:24 PM PDT by Melas (u)
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To: PapaBear3625
There's a girl in my neighborhood who got pregnant by her black boyfriend. The kid is being raised by her parents, for the most part. I don't see her as having much of a future. What they don't tell girls is that men are much less likely to marry a woman who comes with some one else's kids. And even less likely if the kids are black.

I assume the girl is white. I have a neighbor girl like that. White, had a fling with a black guy, twice, and has two half-black kids and is on welfare living with her old father. I think men would never marry her, not because of the kids but because she is a mess on alcohol and drugs. Liberals raise rotten kids who make lousy decisions (my daughters are the same age, growing up and playing with that girl, and my daughters are doing well with their own families - only difference is the parenting by us).

37 posted on 07/15/2012 8:36:52 PM PDT by roadcat
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To: reaganaut1

Bttt


38 posted on 07/15/2012 9:31:47 PM PDT by kalee (The offenses we give, we write in the dust; Those we take, we engrave in marble. J Huett 1658)
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To: Melas

Again I don’t have to go into boys’ bedrooms very often but the bedroom of the first boy was filled with a lot of toys and was very messy. The second boy had a much neater room and I didn’t see any toys. If what you say is correct, the second boy has them but has put them away?


39 posted on 07/16/2012 8:36:03 AM PDT by ladyjane
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To: reaganaut1

Rule #1 Actions have consequences
Rule #2 There is no substitute for Rule #1


40 posted on 07/16/2012 8:38:55 AM PDT by dfwgator (FUJR (not you, Jim))
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