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Mitt Romney Delivers Barn-Burner of a Speech. Democrats React. (Satire)
Source? Being silly | 8/12/2012 | By Laz A. Mazataz

Posted on 08/12/2012 8:46:27 AM PDT by Lazamataz

CNN reported that Mitt Romney gave a 'barn burner' of a speech in Wisconsin today. Democrats were quick to react.

At the White House Press Briefing later today, Jay Carney asked, "Do we want an accused arsonist as the next President? The White House absolutely condemns Mitt Romney for burning a barn."

PETA issued a statement: "It is cruel enough that animals are enslaved and confined to barns, but now we have a candidate who would burn them to death. Barns are sacred temples for the finest living creatures on Earth. Mitt Romney wants to immolate them, sadistically."

Bob Beckel, on Face The Nation, said, "Now we have a Republican running for the Presidential position who clearly hates farmers. The loss of a barn would devastate most farmers. We must stand against this!"

Attorney General Eric Holder promised immediate investigation into Mitt Romney for his alleged arson. "If this occured on Federal land, you can be assured we will quickly act to prosecute Mr. Romney," he said.

Debbie Wasserman Shultz remarked, in a fundraising letter, "Republicans want to burn down America. It's obvious, when Mitt Romney burns down a barn, that this is a symbol of what he wants to do to the middle class."

Mitt Romney's spokesperson, Kevin Madden, responded to the charges, "Are you guys all on crack? What the f*** is wrong with you people???!?"

He did not deny the charges in this statement, and investigation is ongoing.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: satire; vanity
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1 posted on 08/12/2012 8:46:37 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: John Semmens

Not up to your quality, but hey. I tried. :)


2 posted on 08/12/2012 8:47:53 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: TheOldLady; Cyber Liberty; CatherineofAragon; Slings and Arrows; Responsibility2nd; doorgunner69; ..

This should give some of you a smile this morning. :)


3 posted on 08/12/2012 8:51:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz

4 posted on 08/12/2012 8:55:43 AM PDT by Nervous Tick (Love the cult, respect the leader, but I simply can't drink the koolaid and die.)
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To: Lazamataz

LOLOL! Thanks for the chuckle!


5 posted on 08/12/2012 8:56:50 AM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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To: Nervous Tick

:)


6 posted on 08/12/2012 8:57:01 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Alamo-Girl

Glad you enjoyed, sweetie!


7 posted on 08/12/2012 8:57:34 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz

Far better and you were good enough to put “satire” in the title.


8 posted on 08/12/2012 8:57:44 AM PDT by Eaker (When somebody hands you your arse, don't give it back saying "This needs a little more tenderizing.")
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To: Eaker

Nah. Semmens is the satire king, and I am but a mere pretender to the throne.


9 posted on 08/12/2012 8:58:46 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz
Semmens satires are so close to the truth that sometimes I get corn-fused! Thanks for this one I laughed and laughed!
10 posted on 08/12/2012 9:03:00 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: Lazamataz

Dear Mr. Mazataz:

This issue of fires is very personal to me right now, as the state of Idaho is on fire, and the Treasure Valley is a smoke-filled mess right now. The visibility right here in my neighborhood is about 1/2 mile.

Other than that, I think you have captured the essence of the ridiculous statements that the Democrats and their lackeys in the press have been excreting as of late. I think excreting is the most appropriate term, don’t you?

Cheers!

D


11 posted on 08/12/2012 9:03:38 AM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Disambiguator

Sorry to hear about your fire situation. Prayers up for you and the people around you! Glad you enjoyed the momentary break from that.


12 posted on 08/12/2012 9:11:44 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz; John Semmens

You shouldn’t have told John that it was satire... make him believe it is the truth. LOL!! He’s fooled me countless times... fair play. You’ve been warned, John! Hugs, Mom


13 posted on 08/12/2012 9:13:33 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: Lazamataz

You forgot Romney wanting to stop funding the firemen. That’s what the Dems said.


14 posted on 08/12/2012 9:14:54 AM PDT by Tex-Con-Man (T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII 2012 - "Together, I Shall Ride You To Victory")
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To: Lazamataz

Far superior in quality, actually.


15 posted on 08/12/2012 9:15:33 AM PDT by humblegunner (Pablo, being wily, pities the fool.)
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To: Lazamataz

Immediately knew it was satire when I read Romney gave a barn-burner of a speech.


16 posted on 08/12/2012 9:15:45 AM PDT by Starstruck (Only the wealthy and the poor can afford socialism)
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To: Lazamataz

Thank you for your kind sentiments.


17 posted on 08/12/2012 9:19:06 AM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Lazamataz

LMAO!!!! If ONLY they would actually ask your question “WTF is wrong w/ you people? Are you all on crack”?.

Thanks for the funny! =)


18 posted on 08/12/2012 9:20:10 AM PDT by NoGrayZone (For evil to triumph it is only necessary for good men to do nothing.)
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To: Tex-Con-Man
You forgot Romney wanting to stop funding the firemen. That’s what the Dems said.

Good point!

19 posted on 08/12/2012 9:20:23 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz

20 posted on 08/12/2012 9:22:08 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: humblegunner; John Semmens
Thanks bro. I disagree. John Semmens has satire locked up on Free Republic. He just plain-old does it best.

But hey, I try occasionally anyways.

21 posted on 08/12/2012 9:22:16 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: JoeProBono

LOL that made me chuckle....


22 posted on 08/12/2012 9:23:03 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz

Somewhere, some sick, twisted, wretched liberal soul bought this as the honest truth. Why don’t you go over to DU and stir the pot a bit? It’s always fun to watch liberals melt down at the most asinine things.


23 posted on 08/12/2012 9:23:43 AM PDT by factoryrat (We are the producers, the creators. Grow it, mine it, build it.)
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To: NoGrayZone
LMAO!!!! If ONLY they would actually ask your question “WTF is wrong w/ you people? Are you all on crack”?

Due to the extreme level of bias exhibited by the so-called 'mainstream' media, I think this should be the standard Republican answer to absolutely any press question. ;)

24 posted on 08/12/2012 9:24:35 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz
Clearly Romney hates firefighters. Evidence? Exhibit A: Would Romney Cut Firefighters?
25 posted on 08/12/2012 9:24:55 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: factoryrat
Somewhere, some sick, twisted, wretched liberal soul bought this as the honest truth. Why don’t you go over to DU and stir the pot a bit? It’s always fun to watch liberals melt down at the most asinine things.

Some, hell.

I actually fear I gave establishment Democrats a new attack.

26 posted on 08/12/2012 9:25:37 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz

Pretty darn good, Laz.

</smile>


27 posted on 08/12/2012 9:36:39 AM PDT by carriage_hill (Harry Reid [PERVERT-NV] has Vickie-the-goat in lingerie & stiletto heels, tied-up in his office.)
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To: Lazamataz
Photobucket
28 posted on 08/12/2012 9:39:40 AM PDT by Fast Moving Angel (A moral wrong is not a civil right: No religious sanction of an irreligious act.)
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To: carriage_hill
:)

Tanks!


29 posted on 08/12/2012 9:40:19 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz

Hehehe. That would SO be an awesome!


30 posted on 08/12/2012 9:48:50 AM PDT by NoGrayZone (For evil to triumph it is only necessary for good men to do nothing.)
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To: Lazamataz

I have this sinking feeling that you may be right.


31 posted on 08/12/2012 9:49:40 AM PDT by factoryrat (We are the producers, the creators. Grow it, mine it, build it.)
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To: Lazamataz

Ah yes, Mitt ‘s just a ‘hunka hunka burnin’ love’ don’tchaknow!


32 posted on 08/12/2012 9:53:23 AM PDT by MHGinTN (Being deceived can be cured.)
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To: Lazamataz
Photobucket Off subject... but here's my SATIRICAL look at the Biden/Ryan debates.
33 posted on 08/12/2012 10:01:03 AM PDT by RetSignman
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To: Lazamataz

I know you’re aiming for satire, but it was far too realistic, especially the Wasserman-Schultz qoute.

;-)


34 posted on 08/12/2012 10:07:57 AM PDT by Rides_A_Red_Horse (If there is a war on women, the Kennedys are the Spec Ops troops.)
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To: factoryrat

Recall that when Glenn Beck used the last two verses of “Gods of the Copybook Headings” in his ad for “The Overton Window”, his detractors responded “Dog? Vomit? Sow? Mire? What is this crap?” until they found out it that was actually written by the first English-language author to be awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature.


35 posted on 08/12/2012 10:16:49 AM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: Lazamataz

“What’s all this fuss I keep hearing about violins on television?”


36 posted on 08/12/2012 10:54:36 AM PDT by spodefly (This is my tag line. There are many like it, but this one is mine.)
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37 posted on 08/12/2012 11:22:59 AM PDT by RedMDer (https://support.woundedwarriorproject.org/default.aspx?tsid=93destr)
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To: Lazamataz

I hear that, in sympathy with the poor barn rabbits, the Occupoopers set their “hare” on fire and preceded to go at it in the road like homosexual rabbits. :)


38 posted on 08/12/2012 11:24:51 AM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: SaraJohnson
I hear that, in sympathy with the poor barn rabbits, the Occupoopers set their “hare” on fire and preceded to go at it in the road like homosexual rabbits. :)

I have it on good authority from several unnamed sources that Harry Reid is deeply involved in this.

39 posted on 08/12/2012 11:26:52 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz

There’s that (in this case) LARGE boulder of truth in your lovely satiric piece where the humor resides. Excellent mocking of the Demwit operatives and compliant mainly slime media, my friend.


40 posted on 08/12/2012 11:51:55 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: TheOldLady

Thank you sugar!


41 posted on 08/12/2012 1:11:11 PM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: Lazamataz

Got a chuckle outta me. I like it!


42 posted on 08/12/2012 1:16:20 PM PDT by 2111USMC (aim small, miss small)
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To: Lazamataz
Who's this Laz guy? Never heard off him.

5.56mm

43 posted on 08/12/2012 1:16:25 PM PDT by M Kehoe
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To: M Kehoe; Lazamataz
Off=of Laz, sorry.

5.56mm

44 posted on 08/12/2012 1:17:21 PM PDT by M Kehoe
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To: Lazamataz
Good one, Laz -- I LOL'ed.

Only one thing was unbelievable. That was Mitt Romney's spokesperson coming back with anything to counter the Democrats' criticisms. It was far too energetic and pointed. I don't think Romney or his team are (yet) capable of responding with that much energy. Ryan will help fix that situation, but he's going to be overshadowed by Romney's moderation, I fear.

Overall, good marks for the satire. :)

45 posted on 08/12/2012 1:52:26 PM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: JoeProBono
LOL!! I love your tag line.... I'm telling my mother what you said about her footwear.
46 posted on 08/12/2012 2:57:40 PM PDT by skully (My pets are Democrats!!!)
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To: M Kehoe
Off=of Laz, sorry.

Yeah! Off of Laz, already!!!

47 posted on 08/12/2012 3:05:59 PM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: dayglored

Thanks!


48 posted on 08/12/2012 3:07:23 PM PDT by Lazamataz (I love the Universe, and it loves me.)
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To: skully

;-{)


49 posted on 08/12/2012 3:09:49 PM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: Lazamataz
If Romnney is elected, black barns will burn!

-PJ

50 posted on 08/12/2012 3:22:54 PM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( It doesn't come naturally when you're not natural born.)
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