Skip to comments.Suzanne Venker: The War On Men
Posted on 11/30/2012 4:17:23 PM PST by drewh
Believe it or not, modern women want to get married. Trouble is, men dont.
The so-called dearth of good men (read: marriageable men) has been a hot subject in the media as of late. Much of the coverage has been in response to the fact that for the first time in history, women have become the majority of the U.S. workforce. Theyre also getting most of the college degrees. The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women.
Women arent women anymore.
To say gender relations have changed dramatically is an understatement. Ever since the sexual revolution, there has been a profound overhaul in the way men and women interact. Men havent changed much they had no revolution that demanded it but women have changed dramatically.
Now the men have nowhere to go.
What if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is hold on to your seats womens fault?
Youll never hear that in the media. All the articles and books (and television programs, for that matter) put women front and center, while men and children sit in the back seat. But after decades of browbeating the American male, men are tired. Tired of being told theres something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women arent happy, its mens fault.
Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say, the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families its in their DNA. But modern women wont let them.
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
The war on ‘masculinity’- not war on ‘men’.
Irresponsible, sissy men like Obama are encouraged.
Evidently your definition of marriage doesn't involve a little thing called "commitment."
not my definition. almost all states have this as their definition in their state laws concerning marital property.
and it sounds like you are totally great with people arrying to attempt to brden another person with their pre-marriage mountain of debt. that be love to you, but not me.
My wife and I agreed on a certain set of values that we vowed to not deviate from before we were married. One of them was that I would provide for and protect the family. She would stay home with the kids (work from home part time as she could or wanted to). We would not pay for daycare, nannies, etc. Over the years, we have been tested and this value has been pressed. Alas, even in these tough financial times for us, she is home to pick up the kids and we have never had daycare.
We agreed on the “traditional” roles and responsibilities and recognize each others importance and contribution to our union and our family. We joke and laugh often, still. And we get a little silly and carefree when we are alone without the kids. We joke that she married me for my earning potential and I married a trophy-wife ex model (which she was as a teen).
We each get a 50/50 vote on most things. But she agrees I get an extra vote if the overall welfare of the family is at stake. She gets the extra vote if there are decisions about the upbringing of our children, decor of the house, vacations, gifts, schedule, etc.
I put her on a pedestal and treat like a queen. She respects me and takes care of us. She shows me how much she loves me when she leaves honey-do lists and repair orders along with broken nic-nacks on my work bench in my shop. :o)
Very Happily Married,
I think men have made great strides regarding high achieving women. I mean, look at the tens of millions of men who are totally devoted fans of women’s sports.
To Keep a Woman one needs Time and Money
Woman = Time * Money
Ben Franklin Taught Time is Money, so
Time = Money
Woman = Money * Money
Woman = Money^2
We are Taught however that Money is the Root of all Problems
Money = SQRT (Problems)
Money^2 = Problems
Woman = Problems
/sarc sort of...
I’m not interested in a woman who wants to compete with me.
That’s a sign that’s she’s just looking out for #1 and using me.
That's always on my mind.
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Add to that that unmarried women are a major 0bama ‘gimme’ consituency, and lifelong bachelorhood looks better all the time.
Add to that that unmarried women are a major 0bama ‘gimme’ constituency, and lifelong bachelorhood looks better all the time.
Ms. Venker might want to amend this title. I know lots of men who resolved this issue by dating women outside of North America and Europe.
Those other women enjoy being what we call traditional females and they enjoy the reactions they get from normal guys. To be honest Eastern European women are mostly like this also.
Being outside America is literally another world.
The cost / benefit analysis is a more compelling argument than the one she puts forth regardless of how many books she has written. Add to it the potential for crushing emotional costs of parental alienation where one’s own children are made to hate the dad by the jilted spouse.
They are Obama's primary constituency, they'll get a bailout on the loans. You'll end up paying whether you marry them or not.
Feminism is about being a victim. The Second Amendment is about not being a victim.
Financially, marriage is a very dangerous thing for a man.
‘there are fewer and fewer upsides to marriage for guys nowadays”
That’s the thing, there is no up side to marriage for a man.
“Now the men have nowhere to go.”
Sure they do; they can go to “Call of Duty” (or any other video game), they can meet foreign women that have been imported here, or they can go to the bank and spend their money on themselves (the horror!).
“I’m an unreconstructed troglodyte.”
Same here; I’m a Celtic/Huron savage who povides for my family, brushes the snow off my wife’s car (she is allowed to drive) while she sleeps, raises our sons as a father should, and she only gets to work part-time seasonally. Every day she bemoans her fate./s
(I even did diapers - you have to if you want more than one child - and do laundry, cook, etc.)
“They hug each other all the time and soon they will hold hands like the Moslems do.”
No, they hug their checkbooks as they retain the liberty to follow work in a political environment where it is almost illegal to educate or hire a man.
Elections (and “cultural shifts”) have consequences.
“But then she also wasn’t raised in this Society”
Mine either; she is an imported (but documented) guest worker from South America, a permanent “resident alien”.
“Im not sure why that is at the moment. Perhaps a wave of baby girls?”
The women are looking to trap a mate; the men are avoding being trapped. It really is that simple. If anything, there won’t be a wave of baby girls; history has shown when money gets tight the baby girls end up in a ditch. In fact, sex-selection abortions will be the reason for the first restrictions we ever see on abortion in the US (India has already done this); if people are going to have one child, it won’t be female.
“It is an ugly situation for our society.”
It is the end of our society (in case the recent election didn’t demonstrate that clearly enough).
Be more specific; the men are having no trouble with this at all.
“if she thinks abortion is a noble right and has a Che Guevara poster....run as fast as you can!”
Yes, few grandparents would celebrate the murder of their grandchildren.
“Foreign women PREFER American men over their men. Why? Because they understand the traditional male-female roles and find American men a better choice if they can land one.”
For similar reasons, American men prefer foreign women.
“He marries you and his legal rights are ended. He becomes the wife’s or ex-wifes defacto wage slave for most of his life. God help him if there are kids because they will be used as weapons against him so the enraged ex-wife can keep exacting her vengeance on the schlub.”
Exactly why they don’t marry them anymore.
“I know young men who want to commit but will not because they do not want to be on the hook for massive amounts of child support or having to give up half of their property to a woman who is not committed.”
Aye, as I read on a T-shirt at the Meadowlands Flea Market (next to Giants Stadium in NJ): “Why get married? Find a nasty b!tch and buy her a house.”
“Those other women enjoy being what we call traditional females and they enjoy the reactions they get from normal guys. To be honest Eastern European women are mostly like this also.”
South American women as well; they love families, and (by default) traditional values.
Viva! (married 16 years)
“Irresponsible, sissy men like Obama are encouraged.”
Gotta love these radio commercials for “Total Transformation”, which feature whiney (white) women b!tching about misbehaving sons. No fathers mentioned in the ads, nor are misbehaving daughters.
What boy subjected to the media abuse today would ever marry a female product of the culture that has waged this “war on men”? I don’t have to answer for you; the stats will show you: very few...
Actually, if science and technology were able to replicate a real Stepford Wife for the guys, I'm betting that American women would find many, many more of the sisterhood really screaming and hollering how men were dumping them for these artificial “women”. When you think of it guys, wouldn't it be great to have a woman with an OFF switch? How about one that would always build you up instead of tearing you down? How about one that could be reprogrammed? How about one that could be upgraded to a newer model? Sales would be overwhelming, I would bet.
Splice the brain DNA of man's best friend into the DNA of a super model and then you'll have something. For women splice the DNA of a cat brain into a metrosexual.
I don’t know what your deal is arguing with me. I’m just stating that almost all states regard property before the marriage as separate, and that the items and money made after they are married as the joint property that needs to be divided. And if they have a prenup that may affect division as well.
You can say all the platitudes you want, but the courts and the laws are set up this way.
And most people who get divorced do not believe they are in a pretend marriage and did go into the marriage “marrying the whole package”. Most people don’t get married with an ultimate goal of getting divorced.
If I've heard once, I've heard a million times, "I don't want my son to marry, yet......"
I sure don't hear these mothers of "boys" stating, "I sure don't want my son having sex until marriage!"
What's so awful about doing what God/nature, if you don't believe in Him, has intended you to do.
Having raised daughters, the last thing I ever wanted them to be is someone's "right of passage" to fit in with the changing times and mores.
My daughters grew up to want to be wives and mommies, not someone's live-in "girlfriend,"
Thankfully they have been that but not until two shed themselves (rather their narcissist husbands took off after another girlfriend) and have found and married men, real men not some mother's "momma's boy."
Just because you are not legally required to help your new spouse pay off her loan does not mean that it does not affect you.
She'll be spending time-and-or-money paying off the loan when she could have been contributing to the welfare of your family, either as a stay-at-home mom or a wage earner.
and you realize she inherits his huge college and whatever else debts too?
your point is fine for people that don’t get divorced. it’s a moot point for them. but in the real world, which is where we live, where sadly about half of married couples divorce, when people get divorced, there has to be a way to fairly separate assets and debt incurred in the marriage, because it was property and debt acquired during the marriage and belonging to both of them. now that they won’t be together anymore there needs to be a fair system so that neither gets too little assets or too much debt.
Make that a trifecta. My lady (14 years together and counting) is from Europe. And the one before her was from Europe. Coincidence? No. I recognized the American cultural decent before I could get trapped.
If we did decide to marry, it will not be in the USA; not happening in this lifetime. At this point, I see no reason why things should change, unless it becomes so unbearable here (November 6; (re)elections have consequences) that we leave this country and go to her native land, where I also have ancestral lineage from.
We started off with the fact that more women are now going to college than men.
The advantage of not going to college is you work those four years instead of acquiring debt.
College costs have gone up 72% since 2000, while the earnings of a college graduate have declined 15%.
Why would some smart man who realized that a college degree is way overrated these days and worked and saved instead want to marry someone with college debt for a worthless degree?
I fully understand it. I guess since you plan on getting divorced anyway it doesn't matter to you.
“What is interesting is that both foreign men and women dislike American women as rude, pushy, overly aggressive, and unpleasant to be around.”
Excellent point! My European girlfriend despises the majority of American women she works with (and in general) for exactly the reasons you laid out.
TV shows (and ads) pretty much follow the same pattern these days:
1. The white heterosexual male is a blithering idiot; the pee-on. Hes good for involuntarily funding a society that hates his existence, though.
2. The person in charge is usually a woman or minority or a female minority combo package. The mom rules the roost; the dad is there to be the butt of jokes and ignored, except when mom wants to go buy shoes or the kids want $omething.
3. The token gay character represents the conscience/moral authority (what a f*cking joke) of the situation/show.
i really cannot converse with you about this. you think this is my personal opinion when all i am telling you is statistics and state laws concerning division of marital property, and you somehow twist this into you knowing i am planning on getting divorced.
i can’t help you out, here.
My point was, all other things being equal, I'd prefer to marry a woman who didn't have a $70,000 student loan hanging over her head.
It would probably be one of the first things I'd find out if I were really interested.
This is a way that men are retaliating against women for the war on men. I guarantee it. I know I would.
Thank you for asking, but I was not at all offended. To the contrary, I really enjoyed your post to me.
Thank you MeganC. I appreciate the response.
“I think this article is bullshit. Most women I know are pretty balanced, not the feminazis she describes.”
Reminds me of the infamous New Yorker who said that she didn’t understand how Nixon won the 1972 election because everyone she knew voted for McGovern.
In your case I imagine that your perspective is as it is because you live in a rural community where traditional lifestyles predominate or because you’re so inured by the popular culture that you’re unable to comprehend what’s in front of your very eyes. Either way, projecting your life experience as a global norm is just a tad narrow minded. Especially from my point of view where I spent most of my life growing up in a very pro-feminist and anti-male environment.
The one on the left looks like Matthew Modine wearing a wig.
The one on the right looks like a sweet piece of candy.
Like I’ve posted on FR many times, my last two “serious” women have been from Europe. Disposable playthings? Americans.
Traditionalist European Women do make better wives. I know this because mine is from Europe too, Leena is from France even though she and her parents are Palestinians.
I can only assume your women were white Europeans.
My Parents are European (by that I mean actually born and raised in Europe) Mother is from the U.K. and Father is a German Jew.
Great pics! Thanks
I’ve been married to a Spaniard for 15+ years; since she was born in South America I enter our children on census form as “Hispanic”. This way they’ll be allowed to get a job when they’re older.
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