Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Single Belles, Single All the Way
Townhall.com ^ | December 7, 2012 | Mona Charen

Posted on 12/07/2012 8:55:17 AM PST by Kaslin

Discussing the role of single people in the election of 2012 on my weekly podcast with Jay Nordlinger "Need to Know" (available on Ricochet.com or Nationalreview.com), your humble columnist chose the insensitive way to address it. Chatting with Jonathan V. Last of The Weekly Standard about his piece "A Nation of Singles," I popped off that "Single mothers want the state to be their husbands and father to their children."

Jonathan put it better: "Well, let's say that single mothers are more vulnerable to economic shocks and are more concerned about the safety net." Much more diplomatic. Single voters were a key demographic in 2012 (if the percentage of married voters had been what it was in 1980, Romney would have won) and there is little reason to imagine that their importance will wane in the future. Singles increased their share of the vote from 2008 by 6 points.

Until about 1970, the percentage of the adult population in America that was married never dipped below about 93 percent. Since then, marriage has been steadily declining. Today, about half the population is single. The unmarried represented about 40 percent of the electorate, and they broke heavily for Obama -- by 16 percentage points among single men and 36 percentage points among single women -- giving him two-thirds of his margin of victory. (By contrast, Romney prevailed among married voters by 56-42.)

The marriage gap is also an education gap in America. Those with little or no college, and particularly those without a high school diploma, are shunning marriage in favor of cohabitation. The college-educated, by contrast, are still marrying at close to the rates they did in the 1950s (though later in life, which contributes to lower fertility). Stable families among the elites perpetuate their status, providing their children with the financial and emotional stability necessary to lead fulfilling lives. Highly unstable families among the less educated lock in inequality, as well, prompting Charles Murray to call upon the elites to "preach what they practice."

It isn't a matter of urgent national importance when non-parents choose to live together without benefit of clergy (love the old fashioned expression). When children come into the picture, it is. There is simply no controversy about the data: Two-parent married families are best for children -- and best for society.

According to the Census Bureau, one of three American children grows up in a home without his biological father. These children are almost four times more likely to be poor (44 percent) as are children from intact families (12 percent).

Fatherlessness (and while there are some single fathers raising children, they are a small minority) is associated with increased incidence of every measurable pathology. It is evident from birth, and even before. Children of single mothers have higher rates of infant mortality, receive less health care, perform more poorly on post-natal tests, are slower to gain weight and have more complications. Babies with a father's name on their birth certificates are four times more likely to live past age 1 than those without.

In school, the pattern holds. Children from single parent families tend (and these are aggregates, not universals) to get lower grades, have more behavior problems, experience higher rates of depression and other mental illnesses and drop out at higher rates. Children of single parents are more likely to be unemployed, get into trouble with the law and be incarcerated. (Source: National Fatherhood Initiative.)

Cohabitating couples are far more likely to separate than are married couples, which means children often live with non-relative adults. A child living with his mother and her boyfriend is at maximum risk. The American Academy of Pediatrics reported that children in such households are 50 times more likely than children of intact families to be the victims of physical or sexual abuse.

There are simply reams of social science data showing that marriage is the best institution for adult and child happiness/flourishing. But it seems that in America today, only activists for same sex marriage are enthusiasts.

The state can prevent single mothers and their children from falling into destitution, but with fewer and fewer Americans marrying and providing stable homes and reliable earners, the pool of resources available to support more fragile families shrinks. The Democratic party cheers these trends for now -- but in short order even they will find they've sawed off the limb to which they are clinging.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: singles; womensvote

1 posted on 12/07/2012 8:55:20 AM PST by Kaslin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

The Democratic party cheers these trends for now — but in short order even they will find they’ve sawed off the limb to which they are clinging.

Sawed off the limb?
Hell, they’ve been pouring Roundup tm. on the roots
for the last four years!


2 posted on 12/07/2012 9:00:54 AM PST by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

There used to be laws about what bastard children could do, and what posistions they could.

There were not “nice”, but it was recongized that bastard children will not behave the same as those raised in intact homes.

We chose to forget that, and will fall.


3 posted on 12/07/2012 9:01:26 AM PST by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: redgolum
There used to be laws about what bastard children could do, and what posistions they could.

In the United States? Or in the Old Testament?

Regards,

4 posted on 12/07/2012 10:40:58 AM PST by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

All you single men out there - never, ever date or have a relationship with a single mother. You are asking for a world of hurt for yourself. Dating a single mother is dangerous as they tend to use their children as battering rams against you. Really, why would you want to cuckold yourself and raise another man’s offspring? You also put yourself at great risk from the real father of the children. Not to mention the mother is morally suspect to say the least.


5 posted on 12/07/2012 10:43:29 AM PST by Catholic Canadian
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Catholic Canadian

“I’m a charitable kind of guy....I do a lot of work with single mothers, I help them to get their start.” - Steve Martin


6 posted on 12/07/2012 10:47:58 AM PST by dfwgator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Catholic Canadian
All you single men out there - never, ever date or have a relationship with a single mother.

Some of us were widowed young. I suppose we're no good either.

7 posted on 12/07/2012 11:02:06 AM PST by SCalGal (Friends don't let friends donate to H$U$, A$PCA, or PETA.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin
Highly unstable families among the less educated lock in inequality, as well, prompting Charles Murray to call upon the elites to "preach what they practice."

The "elites" want the hoi-polloi to be disorganized and vulnerable. What's your "eliteness" worth, if everyone else is doing okay, too?

8 posted on 12/07/2012 11:09:23 AM PST by Tax-chick (Get another cat.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Catholic Canadian

What about widows? Should single men shun widows? Conversely, should single women shun widowed men who have children?


9 posted on 12/07/2012 11:22:23 AM PST by MeganC (Our forefathers would be shooting by now.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

If you want to have a child, don’t rely on the rest of us for support. America is not a commune. Actions have consequences. If you want less single moms, tax them.


10 posted on 12/07/2012 12:23:58 PM PST by VRWC For Truth (Roberts has perverted the Constitution)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: alexander_busek

Middle Ages up to some modern laws. Few in the US (that I am aware of anyway).


11 posted on 12/07/2012 1:17:03 PM PST by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Catholic Canadian
All you single men out there - never, ever date or have a relationship with a single mother.


12 posted on 12/07/2012 1:51:23 PM PST by houeto (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Catholic Canadian; SCalGal; MeganC; houeto
All you single men out there - never, ever date or have a relationship with a single mother. You are asking for a world of hurt for yourself. Dating a single mother is dangerous as they tend to use their children as battering rams against you. Really, why would you want to cuckold yourself and raise another man’s offspring? You also put yourself at great risk from the real father of the children. Not to mention the mother is morally suspect to say the least.

I just had to repost that, as it is the single most stupid thing I've seen in a long time and no, I am not a "single mother".

why would you want to cuckold yourself and raise another man’s offspring?

Wow, is your insecurity ever showing!

13 posted on 12/07/2012 2:18:14 PM PST by Holly_P
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Single moms are queens of their castle and there’s only room on their throne for one.


14 posted on 12/07/2012 2:19:03 PM PST by fattigermaster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Holly_P

I agree.


15 posted on 12/07/2012 3:34:46 PM PST by MeganC (Our forefathers would be shooting by now.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: redgolum

We cannot hold the “bastard” children responsible since they are the innocent victims and had no choice in their circumstances. It would be better to hold their parents responsible instead.


16 posted on 12/07/2012 4:33:53 PM PST by Nowhere Man (Whitey, I miss you so much. Take care, pretty girl. (4-15-2001 - 10-12-2012))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Catholic Canadian
All you single men out there - never, ever date or have a relationship with a single mother. You are asking for a world of hurt for yourself. Dating a single mother is dangerous as they tend to use their children as battering rams against you. Really, why would you want to cuckold yourself and raise another man’s offspring? You also put yourself at great risk from the real father of the children. Not to mention the mother is morally suspect to say the least.

I don't think all are like that, I hope but I had the same thoughts as you because that happened to my best friend. His girlfriend (GF) got mad at him for something and she called the cops on him claiming he abused (physical, not sexual) her kids. The cops came for him and locked him in county jail. His mother, then on dialysis, was in a tizzy. Well, his GF's father set things straight where he said his daughter was lying and they released my friend and dropped charges. Thank God that happened and it "did not grow legs" because no matter if you're innocent, if you're charged with abuse, be it physical or sexual, but later deemed innocent and charges dropped, there still is a stigma there.

I'm single myself and I would advise others to heed your advice. Of course, it also depends how one became single, being married and the husband dying is one thing but if there is a divorce there or separation of any kind, there is a question to be answered, was it him or her that caused it sand how stable is she?
17 posted on 12/07/2012 4:41:04 PM PST by Nowhere Man (Whitey, I miss you so much. Take care, pretty girl. (4-15-2001 - 10-12-2012))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: SCalGal; Catholic Canadian
Some of us were widowed young. I suppose we're no good either.

Yeah, I can see Catholic Canadian's points here since I told the story of what happened to by best friend, but I did put a clause in on answering the question of how the single mom was separated. Widows, I can see they are more stable, I mean bad things do happen, but there are others who might have left for various reasons, unless it was to flee abuse, there is questions that need to be asked. I guess we need to watch how wide a brush we use here but all I can say is you gotta be careful.
18 posted on 12/07/2012 4:44:26 PM PST by Nowhere Man (Whitey, I miss you so much. Take care, pretty girl. (4-15-2001 - 10-12-2012))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: MeganC

I think the trick is for us single guys to look for a woman (kids or not, widowed, divorced and vice versa) with her “head on straight” for lack of a better term, not some ditz for OBummer. I can understand being a bit gun shy because of what happened to my best friend though. For the record, if a potential date was an Obama-ite, I’d have to take a pass.


19 posted on 12/07/2012 7:19:33 PM PST by Nowhere Man (It is about time we re-enact Normandy, at the shores of the Potomac.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: SCalGal

“Some of us were widowed young. I suppose we’re no good either. “

_

Thanks for that.

My brother and I were raised by a single mother who was widowed at 31.

.


20 posted on 12/07/2012 7:23:53 PM PST by Mears
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Nowhere Man

It is less about punishing the children, and more about limiting the damage. It was a way of saying “look at what you will be doing to the child and youself!”


21 posted on 12/07/2012 7:34:25 PM PST by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Catholic Canadian
All you single men out there - never, ever date or have a relationship with a single mother.

Scuse me, but I WAS a single mother with twin toddlers. After I met my hubby we dated for a full year before he even met my girls, and we dated for another year before we were married. He knew from the START about my girls.....that was 15 years ago, and not ONCE did I ever 'use them is a battering ram' against him, and he was never at 'risk' from their father...although their father WAS at a great risk of MY kicking his ass back to New Mexico.

Be a bit more careful in the future about where you swing that broad brush, there partner.

22 posted on 12/07/2012 8:01:43 PM PST by MamaTexan (It is impossible to follow the Original Intent of the Constitution and NOT acknowledge secession)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: dfwgator

23 posted on 12/07/2012 9:25:45 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Nowhere Man
I guess we need to watch how wide a brush we use here but all I can say is you gotta be careful.

That goes both ways.

24 posted on 12/08/2012 12:28:23 AM PST by SCalGal (Friends don't let friends donate to H$U$, A$PCA, or PETA.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: Nowhere Man; SCalGal
Yeah, I can see Catholic Canadian's points here since I told the story of what happened to by best friend, but I did put a clause in on answering the question of how the single mom was separated. Widows, I can see they are more stable, I mean bad things do happen, but there are others who might have left for various reasons, unless it was to flee abuse, there is questions that need to be asked. I guess we need to watch how wide a brush we use here but all I can say is you gotta be careful.

SCalGal, do you understand any of this babble? I don't.

Good grief!

25 posted on 12/08/2012 1:47:23 AM PST by houeto (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: SCalGal
That goes both ways.

Agreed, it does.
26 posted on 12/08/2012 8:20:03 AM PST by Nowhere Man (It is about time we re-enact Normandy, at the shores of the Potomac.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: houeto
SCalGal, do you understand any of this babble? I don't.

Good grief!


???????????????

Sometimes I don't comment on these social issues threads because I'm more of a libertarian, I like to make up my own mind on the ethics, morals and the way I see things. I get both sides mad at me. B-) I just mean that you got to check things out in a potential mate and it does work both ways. It is like buying a car, you got to kick the tires, check the hood, make sure the tranny is OK and so on. If you read my previous post, I'm sure you'd understand more, my friend did (almost) get into trouble too over something like this and I just want to say I can see both sides of the issue.

It's just that you need to be compatible and stable, that said, for me, no Obama-ites need to apply.
27 posted on 12/08/2012 8:27:28 AM PST by Nowhere Man (It is about time we re-enact Normandy, at the shores of the Potomac.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Nowhere Man

I’d have never dated a liberal or a Democrat, either. That’d be a deal killer for me, too.


28 posted on 12/11/2012 3:24:55 PM PST by MeganC (Our forefathers would be shooting by now.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: MeganC
I’d have never dated a liberal or a Democrat, either. That’d be a deal killer for me, too.

In all fairness, maybe some of us are using a shotgun approach instead of a precise rifle in our posts here, but most single moms I've encountered are pro-OBummer along with what happened to my friend. As you put it, the deal killer for you, and me, is if she/he (it works both ways) believes in what America stood for and not looking to the Rats and OBummer for their salvation. Heck, at one time, I think I had a single mom interested in me but what killed if for me at the time was she had a kid in head start and pro-Kerry. That said, time to hit the afterburners. I think the key is you need to seek out the good one out there that think similar to yourself.

I apologize for any friendly fire and really, it is not directed at any FR single Moms out there, as the saying goes, you know who you are.
29 posted on 12/11/2012 5:00:17 PM PST by Nowhere Man (It is about time we re-enact Normandy, at the shores of the Potomac.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson