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Why Young Men are Giving Up on Marriage
Catholic Lane ^ | January 17, 2013 | Hilary White

Posted on 01/18/2013 2:05:46 PM PST by NYer

Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, while the desire for marriage is rising among young women, according to the Pew Research Center.

Pew recently found that the number of women 18-34 saying that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things rose from 28 percent to 37 percent since 1997. The number of young adult men saying the same thing dropped from 35 percent to 29 percent in the same time.

Pew’s findings have caught the attention of one US writer who maintains that feminism, deeply entrenched in every segment of the culture, has created an environment in which young men find it more beneficial to simply opt out of couple-dom entirely.

Suzanne Venker’s article, “The War on Men,” which appeared on the website of Fox News in late November, has become a lodestone for feminist writers who have attacked her position that the institution of marriage is threatened, not enhanced, by the supposed gains of the feminist movement over the last 50 years.

“Where have all the good (meaning marriageable) men gone?” is a question much talked about lately in the secular media, Venker says, but her answer, backed up by statistics, is not to the liking of mainstream commentators influenced by feminism.

She points out that for the first time in US history, the number of women in the workforce has surpassed the number of men, while more women than men are acquiring university degrees.

“The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women,” Venker wrote. With feminism pushing them out of their traditional role of breadwinner, protector and provider – and divorce laws increasingly creating a dangerously precarious financial prospect for the men cut loose from marriage – men are simply no longer finding any benefit in it.

As a writer and researcher into the trends of marriage and relationships, Venker said, she has “accidentally stumbled upon a subculture” of men who say “in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married.”

“When I ask them why, the answer is always the same: women aren’t women anymore.” Feminism, which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women “angry” and “defensive, though often unknowingly.”

“Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic – women good/men bad – that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry.”

“Men are tired,” Venker wrote. “Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.”

Feminism and the sexual revolution have simply made marriage “obsolete” for women as a social and economic refuge, but this is a situation that should not be celebrated by feminists, Venker says.

“It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.”

A cross section of research data from the Pew Research Center for the last months of 2012 shows the alarming trends for marriage and child-bearing in the US. One report published in mid-December said that the latest census data showed “barely half” of all adults in the United States are currently married, a “record low”. Since 1960, the number of married adults has decreased from 72 percent to 51 today and the number of new marriages in the U.S. declined by five percent between 2009 and 2010.

Moreover, the median age at first marriage continues to rise with women getting married the first time at 26.5 years and men at 28.7. The declines in marriage are “most dramatic” among young adults. Just 20 percent of those aged 18 to 29 are married, compared with 59 percent in 1960.

“If current trends continue, the share of adults who are currently married will drop to below half within a few years,” the report said.

Moreover, the link between marriage and childrearing has become disconnected in the minds of the so-called Millennial generation, those between 18 and 29. While 52 percent of Millennials say being a good parent is “one of the most important things” in life, just 30 per cent say the same about having a successful marriage, an attitudinal survey found.

The gap, of 22 percentage points, between the value Millennials place on parenthood over marriage, was just 7 points in 1997. The research found that Millennials, many of whom are the children of divorce and single-parenthood themselves, are also less likely than their elders to say that a child needs both a father and mother at home, that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: feminism; genderwars; manhood; marriage; psychology; trends
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To: Blue Ink; NYer
They should change the name of this website to “Free Republic of Women-Haters, Except for Our Much Younger Second Filipino Wives.”

LOL.

No, let's change it to “Free Republic of Smart People who see Leaches for what they are, regardless of gender or nationality.”

101 posted on 01/18/2013 4:31:38 PM PST by fanfan ("If Muslim kids were asked to go to church on Sunday and take Holy Communion there would be war.")
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To: beandog
"Maybe if there were more real men there’d be more real women."

LOL

How right you are. 8^) It takes a real man to attract a real woman.

But, a big problem exists in our education system. By the time kids get out of high school, they've emasculated far too many males - and half the females have been compromised.

Look among the home-schooled.

102 posted on 01/18/2013 4:33:15 PM PST by Ron C.
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To: clamper1797

My daughter and I work at the same nursing home. Tonight we were discussing how many women at work are divorced. My daughter pointed out that it’s the “young” ones, 40 and under, who are divorced. Most of the older ones are still married.


103 posted on 01/18/2013 4:33:15 PM PST by ilovesarah2012
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To: NYer

When you marry, all you are doing is empowering a judge to destroy you.


104 posted on 01/18/2013 4:36:36 PM PST by FoxPro
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To: eyeamok

“They are ALL TOO EASY to bed down, ...”

Reminds me of that movie, “Earth Girls Are Easy.”


105 posted on 01/18/2013 4:38:37 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: beandog

Both sexes are to blame for this situation. I think the primary cause for dissolution of the American family is that many people expect perfection and instant gratification. Nobody is perfect. Expecting that in other people is unreasonable and will lead to disappointment. Our desires and expectations are formed from our cultural influences and these forces are not kind to the idea of sacrifice and commitment. There are good people out there and traditional marriage is still possible, but the numbers of such people seems to be dwindling all the time.


106 posted on 01/18/2013 4:41:53 PM PST by 3Fingas (Sons and Daughters of Freedom, Committee of Correspondence)
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To: NYer

Old Hugh Heffner showed us that all women have to be hot and horny. Women’s reaction to this was anger resulting in feminism. Men have reacted to feminism by pulling back from women. Women have reacted to this by pulling back from men. Reminds me of my 8th grade graduation dance with all the guys on one side of the room and all the girls on the opposite side of the room. Forget Hollywood and Madison Avenue. There’s still love and happiness to be found. Quit expecting perfection and 24 hour a day happiness.


107 posted on 01/18/2013 4:45:05 PM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: Jack Hydrazine

The sad part is that it’s true, todays women are Sluts for the most part. Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free??


108 posted on 01/18/2013 4:47:27 PM PST by eyeamok
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To: 3Fingas

“I think the primary cause for dissolution of the American family is that many people expect perfection and instant gratification.”

Reminds me of a song by Mr. Mister called “The Tube.”

THE TUBE
by Mr. Mister
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs-0SCOQ30E

Hi dear, what’s on tonight
Let’s stay up and watch the tube
And bask in the big blue light
Bye bye real life, checking into checking out
It’s saturation time

Perfect faces, perfect background, perfect everything

I wanna live in a dream that is never ending
I wanna love all the wasted time I’m spending
Tonight I can take it all the way
Because tonight, I’m everything I wanted to be

Well dear, it’s a good thing
I don’t have to look at you
And you don’t have to look at me
I think that’s a good thing

We’re perfect strangers, perfect ohh, perfect everything

I wanna live in a dream that is never ending
I wanna love all the wasted time I’m spending
Tonight I can take it all the way
Because tonight, I’m everything I wanted to be

I wanna live, I wanna live

I wanna live in a dream that is never ending
Tonight I can take it good
I wanna love all the wasted time I’m spending
Tonight I can take it all the way
Because tonight, I’m everything I wanted to be

I wanna live in a dream that is never ending, ooh
I wanna love all the wasted time I’m spending
Tonight I can take it all the way

I wanna live in a dream that is never ending
I wanna love all the wasted time I’m spending
Tonight I can take it all the way

I wanna live in a dream that is never ending
I wanna love all the wasted time I’m spending

I wanna live in a dream that is never ending
I wanna love all the wasted time I’m spending
I wanna live in a dream that is never ending


109 posted on 01/18/2013 4:47:56 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: cherry

I have a “real man” son. He has dated and been dumped on by so many shallow women that he is finished at 30. I still hope that someday he will meet his soulmate. His father and I have been married for 39 years.


110 posted on 01/18/2013 4:48:18 PM PST by KYGrandma (The sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home.....)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

I never thought that I would ever applaud anything that Mister, Mister did but that song is a pretty good summation of my feeling on the subject.


111 posted on 01/18/2013 4:55:35 PM PST by 3Fingas (Sons and Daughters of Freedom, Committee of Correspondence)
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To: eyeamok

“todays women are Sluts for the most part.”

If today’s women are sluts what do you call the guys they have sex with?

Ridiculous statement.

.


112 posted on 01/18/2013 4:56:52 PM PST by Mears
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To: 3Fingas

It’s from their album/CD, “Go On” which has very good songs that have a lot of good commentary on the state of society.


113 posted on 01/18/2013 4:58:08 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: Mears

Taking advantage of easy pickins, Women when they were in their “Traditional” roles as Women, Wives, mothers,.. did not GIVE SEX AWAY FOR FREE, there usually was a ring and a date at the very least. Men Were required by their very nature to respect, and treat women like the MOTHER OF THEIR CHILDREN, otherwise they went to the Local Brothel.


114 posted on 01/18/2013 5:05:35 PM PST by eyeamok
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To: Chode

The eyes....the eyes......don’t make eye contact!!! Hypnotized!!!!


115 posted on 01/18/2013 5:06:31 PM PST by Kolath
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To: beandog
"Most of my friends are in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. The ones that are not married are perfectly happy to be single."

Good for them. No one wants them anyway.

116 posted on 01/18/2013 5:06:40 PM PST by Enterprise ("Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." Voltaire)
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To: kearnyirish2

Don’t lump all american women in together. I’ve been married 30 years, have 5 kids (with the same man) and have been a stay at home mom the entire time and still am. My husband and I live a very traditional lifestyle.


117 posted on 01/18/2013 5:18:37 PM PST by tuffydoodle (Shut up voices, or I'll poke you with a Q-Tip again.)
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To: Chode

So funny that you posted that picture. Have you watched the video? It’s a riot. My kids know that girl, she’s from my town.


118 posted on 01/18/2013 5:20:57 PM PST by tuffydoodle (Shut up voices, or I'll poke you with a Q-Tip again.)
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To: ought-six

Can’t say I blame you. What an ungrateful witch.


119 posted on 01/18/2013 5:22:25 PM PST by CatherineofAragon (Support Christian white males---the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization)
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To: elkfersupper

Not a problem, but I wouldn’t care if it was. With my family history, I’ll be lucky to be alive in 5 years anyway.

_____________________

I wont marry you, I’ll just insure you!


120 posted on 01/18/2013 5:42:54 PM PST by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: hitkicker

“Women are vicious in divorce. Whether they are morally inferior to men can be debated”

They instantly assume that everything they can legally do, is obviously moral. If you point out to them that they are leaving the father of their kids destitute, or that they are causing deep harm in the numerous ways they do, they look at you with a blank stare and say the law says they can have it.

If the law let them take utterly everything, they would do so without a thought. If kids are involved they adopt the full tactics of a hostage taker. They know a man will walk away from nearly everything if it spares their kid social workers, custody fights, etc.
The fact is, they know they will inflict things on a kid, that the man will not. And like a hostage taker, they openly use that difference to win the concessions they demand.

They become utterly amoral in a divorce.


121 posted on 01/18/2013 5:46:39 PM PST by DesertRhino (I was standing with a rifle, waiting for soviet paratroopers, but communists just ran for office.)
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To: Ron C.

I have been shocked at the number of women (and some men) who consider sex a chore for as seldom as they can get away with it.

I could never understand why a woman would marry if she did not want sex. Good gravy it is the best fun of marriage.


122 posted on 01/18/2013 5:47:29 PM PST by Chickensoup (200 million unarmed people killed in the 20th century by Leftist Totalitarian Fascists)
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To: NYer

95% of the girls/women in the world DID NOT grow up in the United States. That’s what I tell my boys - there are literally BILLIONS of choices out there that will NOT make a sport out of trying to clean you out and run off with your kids.

For American males, the odds are 50/50 on a successful marriage if they marry an American female - but the odds are 90/10 (in their favor), if they marry someone that DID NOT grow up in our messed-up environment.

So my kids are on their own (i.e., wedding costs, and even us being there) if they marry American. If they marry foreign, we’re with them all the way.

And don’t blame us...it is the system that WE HAVE permitted liberals to impose on us.


123 posted on 01/18/2013 6:02:42 PM PST by BobL
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To: BobL

Yessir,, you got that. And the venom that American women spit out at men who go foreign, and at the women they marry, is truly something to see.

But no matter how much they screech and fling their feces at us, an incontrovertible fact remains. The rest of the world views American husbands as almost angels. And the rest of the world views American woman as the worst wives.


124 posted on 01/18/2013 6:10:30 PM PST by DesertRhino (I was standing with a rifle, waiting for soviet paratroopers, but communists just ran for office.)
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To: Nea Wood

“” Too many men nowadays sound just like feminazis. “Men are noble victims. Women are evil. Everything is women’s fault. The decks are all stacked against men, who are perfect.””

Do you live in Iran? In the United States, none of your fantasies have happened yet, and likely never will.

In any case, feel free to keep hating men - it’s important for people, like my sons, to see your postings, so as to NEVER get near an American women, when it comes time to marry.


125 posted on 01/18/2013 6:12:38 PM PST by BobL
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To: kearnyirish2

“I’m married more than fifteen years, but she’s a foreigner from a traditional background.”

JOIN THE CLUB. And I suspect that your wife, like mine, would be ASHAMED if your marriage broke up - because a strong marriage is a sign of success in her culture, whereas a strong lawyer is a sign of success in ours.


126 posted on 01/18/2013 6:18:35 PM PST by BobL
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To: Blue Ink

“They should change the name of this website to “Free Republic of Women-Haters, Except for Our Much Younger Second Filipino Wives.””

Actually, pretty close, but let me help:

““Free Republic of Men that are SICK of getting rolled over by American Female (ex-)wives.””


127 posted on 01/18/2013 6:21:00 PM PST by BobL
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To: kearnyirish2

“I’m not surprised at the number of American men I know who are much more open to marrying foreign women; the American women can boil & seethe at the new crop of mestizos running around.”

Well stated. MANY of us went to college with these beasts, and know what women from other cultures offer.

It is a NO-BRAINER to us.


128 posted on 01/18/2013 6:23:00 PM PST by BobL
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To: tuffydoodle

“You’ve got quite a chip on your shoulder there. The anger at American women runs deep, huh?”

Yea, it does, for tens of millions of us. Otherwise today’s women WOULD be able to find husbands.

But you won...so we respond. Sorry.


129 posted on 01/18/2013 6:25:27 PM PST by BobL
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To: kearnyirish2

“I was married earlier than most of my friends (those that bothered to get married), and we’ve got a little (bilingual) tribe going now (being raised by their parents - not daycare/nannies).”

That’s adorable, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Too bad American women/girls seethe at the picture, and think of it as slavery.


130 posted on 01/18/2013 6:27:20 PM PST by BobL
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To: nonliberal

“I had a woman bitch at me about opening the door for her. That date didn’t last long.”

CRAP, that is scary. A date?? I can see a random woman acting like that (American, of course)...but a date, where you’re likely paying the tab.

These women aren’t just ingrates anymore, they are FILLED WITH HATE. Nice job dumping her.


131 posted on 01/18/2013 6:29:37 PM PST by BobL
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To: NYer; a fool in paradise; Slings and Arrows
Chicks demand equal time (US Supreme Court sanctioned) for a misantry thread. Let's take a vote!


132 posted on 01/18/2013 6:33:39 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: onyx

Thanks; the same to you.


133 posted on 01/18/2013 6:34:24 PM PST by kearnyirish2 (Affirmative action is economic war against white males (and therefore white families).)
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To: beandog

“The ones that are not married are perfectly happy to be single.”

I’ll call BS on that. But they can tell you what they want, to keep you out of their hair. But count up the number of therapists they see every week, and you’ll REALLY understand their situation.


134 posted on 01/18/2013 6:36:10 PM PST by BobL
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To: Jack Hydrazine

“Title IX and allowing women to vote are great examples!”

Don’t go there...even if true.


135 posted on 01/18/2013 6:37:17 PM PST by BobL
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To: Enterprise

“You should have done something to help that poor dog.”

No, she wanted to be Mr. Man, and I wasn’t going to hear that I was oppressing her by rendering aid, so I let her deal with the stray herself.


136 posted on 01/18/2013 6:37:50 PM PST by kearnyirish2 (Affirmative action is economic war against white males (and therefore white families).)
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To: KYGrandma

“I have a “real man” son. He has dated and been dumped on by so many shallow women that he is finished at 30. I still hope that someday he will meet his soulmate. His father and I have been married for 39 years.”

You need to get him overseas, preferably halfway around the world. There are literally BILLIONS of wonderful, appreciative women, many of whom are at least decent in English.

He can STILL have a happy life, he just has to know where to look. So buy him a ticket...


137 posted on 01/18/2013 6:40:38 PM PST by BobL
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To: Mears

“If today’s women are sluts what do you call the guys they have sex with?”

Men. Next question.


138 posted on 01/18/2013 6:41:08 PM PST by BobL
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To: tuffydoodle

“Don’t lump all american women in together.”

I know; you’re from a different generation, and probably have generalizations about 25 year-old women that you wouldn’t apply to 45 year-old women. At 40 I’m probably at the tail end of the “marrying types”; I hear a lot of griping from women 5 years younger & more.


139 posted on 01/18/2013 6:42:05 PM PST by kearnyirish2 (Affirmative action is economic war against white males (and therefore white families).)
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To: NYer
I for one can't wait for programmable robot women. The science is almost there.


140 posted on 01/18/2013 6:42:46 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: tuffydoodle

“Don’t lump all american women in together. I’ve been married 30 years, have 5 kids (with the same man) and have been a stay at home mom the entire time and still am. My husband and I live a very traditional lifestyle.”

...but you are a woman from 30 years ago, before the REAL pollution set in. You are probably not unlike today’s foreign-born women, when it comes to values.


141 posted on 01/18/2013 6:43:11 PM PST by BobL
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To: BobL

Already did! Too late! LOL!

As women have stood up to become men for the past 100 or so years the men have stood down.


142 posted on 01/18/2013 6:44:36 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: DesertRhino

“But no matter how much they screech and fling their feces at us, an incontrovertible fact remains. The rest of the world views American husbands as almost angels. And the rest of the world views American woman as the worst wives.”

That is so true. But no, I haven’t had to deal with the venom that others may deal with. I think most women that we encounter simply wish they somehow could have the same value system instilled in them as my wife has...but they know it’s too late for that.


143 posted on 01/18/2013 6:45:16 PM PST by BobL
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To: BobL

“And I suspect that your wife, like mine, would be ASHAMED if your marriage broke up - because a strong marriage is a sign of success in her culture, whereas a strong lawyer is a sign of success in ours.”

Well put, and spot on. Neither of our families has divorces (though maybe they should have one or two), and while we come from different ethnic backgrounds our shared faith suffices to keep us on the same page.


144 posted on 01/18/2013 6:45:52 PM PST by kearnyirish2 (Affirmative action is economic war against white males (and therefore white families).)
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To: eyeamok

There is absolutely nothing wrong with women being sluts and whores as long as women behave in that manner toward their husbands!


145 posted on 01/18/2013 6:46:22 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: cherry

Been with the same woman for 15 years; talk to the hand...: )
We’re talking about the reasons young men aren’t marrying not women.


146 posted on 01/18/2013 6:49:47 PM PST by jsanders2001
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To: kearnyirish2

“Well put, and spot on. Neither of our families has divorces (though maybe they should have one or two), and while we come from different ethnic backgrounds our shared faith suffices to keep us on the same page.”

That’s the difference...nothing is perfect. But the kids win out. People from those cultures understand that kids are MUCH, MUCH, BETTER OFF with having two parents that may not get along, but still live in the same home - than having parents that are at legal war with each other.

It really seems that the kids don’t even exist anymore in American society...other than being used for child support.


147 posted on 01/18/2013 6:50:20 PM PST by BobL
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To: BobL
But count up the number of therapists they see every week, and you’ll REALLY understand their situation.

Count the prescription bottles.

148 posted on 01/18/2013 6:58:47 PM PST by fattigermaster
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To: BobL

“That’s adorable, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Too bad American women/girls seethe at the picture, and think of it as slavery.”

Thank you. Unfortunately, I think we’ve turned a corner culturally where now the American women would be happy to be “enslaved” in marriage/motherhood (but under current legal and economic conditions); hence the rage. They can’t get courts to force the men to “get right”, and men are content to let the whole thing die (literally).


149 posted on 01/18/2013 6:58:56 PM PST by kearnyirish2 (Affirmative action is economic war against white males (and therefore white families).)
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To: fattigermaster

“Count the prescription bottles.”

Tell me about it. I’ve LITERALLY seen one of them wheeled out on a stretcher, when she figured out that she wasn’t going to find a guy to live her life with. She’s 35 and she doesn’t have a prayer against THE NIGHTMARE that feminism has created...no guy will get near her - even though she’s gorgeous.


150 posted on 01/18/2013 7:02:01 PM PST by BobL
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