Skip to comments.Why Young Men are Giving Up on Marriage
Posted on 01/18/2013 2:05:46 PM PST by NYer
Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, while the desire for marriage is rising among young women, according to the Pew Research Center.
Pew recently found that the number of women 18-34 saying that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things rose from 28 percent to 37 percent since 1997. The number of young adult men saying the same thing dropped from 35 percent to 29 percent in the same time.
Pews findings have caught the attention of one US writer who maintains that feminism, deeply entrenched in every segment of the culture, has created an environment in which young men find it more beneficial to simply opt out of couple-dom entirely.
Suzanne Venkers article, The War on Men, which appeared on the website of Fox News in late November, has become a lodestone for feminist writers who have attacked her position that the institution of marriage is threatened, not enhanced, by the supposed gains of the feminist movement over the last 50 years.
Where have all the good (meaning marriageable) men gone? is a question much talked about lately in the secular media, Venker says, but her answer, backed up by statistics, is not to the liking of mainstream commentators influenced by feminism.
She points out that for the first time in US history, the number of women in the workforce has surpassed the number of men, while more women than men are acquiring university degrees.
The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women, Venker wrote. With feminism pushing them out of their traditional role of breadwinner, protector and provider and divorce laws increasingly creating a dangerously precarious financial prospect for the men cut loose from marriage men are simply no longer finding any benefit in it.
As a writer and researcher into the trends of marriage and relationships, Venker said, she has accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who say in no uncertain terms, that theyre never getting married.
When I ask them why, the answer is always the same: women arent women anymore. Feminism, which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women angry and defensive, though often unknowingly.
Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic women good/men bad that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry.
Men are tired, Venker wrote. Tired of being told theres something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women arent happy, its mens fault.
Feminism and the sexual revolution have simply made marriage obsolete for women as a social and economic refuge, but this is a situation that should not be celebrated by feminists, Venker says.
Its the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature theyre forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need mens linear career goals they need men to pick up the slack at the office in order to live the balanced life they seek.
A cross section of research data from the Pew Research Center for the last months of 2012 shows the alarming trends for marriage and child-bearing in the US. One report published in mid-December said that the latest census data showed barely half of all adults in the United States are currently married, a record low. Since 1960, the number of married adults has decreased from 72 percent to 51 today and the number of new marriages in the U.S. declined by five percent between 2009 and 2010.
Moreover, the median age at first marriage continues to rise with women getting married the first time at 26.5 years and men at 28.7. The declines in marriage are most dramatic among young adults. Just 20 percent of those aged 18 to 29 are married, compared with 59 percent in 1960.
If current trends continue, the share of adults who are currently married will drop to below half within a few years, the report said.
Moreover, the link between marriage and childrearing has become disconnected in the minds of the so-called Millennial generation, those between 18 and 29. While 52 percent of Millennials say being a good parent is one of the most important things in life, just 30 per cent say the same about having a successful marriage, an attitudinal survey found.
The gap, of 22 percentage points, between the value Millennials place on parenthood over marriage, was just 7 points in 1997. The research found that Millennials, many of whom are the children of divorce and single-parenthood themselves, are also less likely than their elders to say that a child needs both a father and mother at home, that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.
“Women are vicious in divorce. Whether they are morally inferior to men can be debated”
They instantly assume that everything they can legally do, is obviously moral. If you point out to them that they are leaving the father of their kids destitute, or that they are causing deep harm in the numerous ways they do, they look at you with a blank stare and say the law says they can have it.
If the law let them take utterly everything, they would do so without a thought. If kids are involved they adopt the full tactics of a hostage taker. They know a man will walk away from nearly everything if it spares their kid social workers, custody fights, etc.
The fact is, they know they will inflict things on a kid, that the man will not. And like a hostage taker, they openly use that difference to win the concessions they demand.
They become utterly amoral in a divorce.
I have been shocked at the number of women (and some men) who consider sex a chore for as seldom as they can get away with it.
I could never understand why a woman would marry if she did not want sex. Good gravy it is the best fun of marriage.
95% of the girls/women in the world DID NOT grow up in the United States. That’s what I tell my boys - there are literally BILLIONS of choices out there that will NOT make a sport out of trying to clean you out and run off with your kids.
For American males, the odds are 50/50 on a successful marriage if they marry an American female - but the odds are 90/10 (in their favor), if they marry someone that DID NOT grow up in our messed-up environment.
So my kids are on their own (i.e., wedding costs, and even us being there) if they marry American. If they marry foreign, we’re with them all the way.
And don’t blame us...it is the system that WE HAVE permitted liberals to impose on us.
Yessir,, you got that. And the venom that American women spit out at men who go foreign, and at the women they marry, is truly something to see.
But no matter how much they screech and fling their feces at us, an incontrovertible fact remains. The rest of the world views American husbands as almost angels. And the rest of the world views American woman as the worst wives.
“” Too many men nowadays sound just like feminazis. “Men are noble victims. Women are evil. Everything is women’s fault. The decks are all stacked against men, who are perfect.””
Do you live in Iran? In the United States, none of your fantasies have happened yet, and likely never will.
In any case, feel free to keep hating men - it’s important for people, like my sons, to see your postings, so as to NEVER get near an American women, when it comes time to marry.
“Im married more than fifteen years, but shes a foreigner from a traditional background.”
JOIN THE CLUB. And I suspect that your wife, like mine, would be ASHAMED if your marriage broke up - because a strong marriage is a sign of success in her culture, whereas a strong lawyer is a sign of success in ours.
“They should change the name of this website to Free Republic of Women-Haters, Except for Our Much Younger Second Filipino Wives.”
Actually, pretty close, but let me help:
“Free Republic of Men that are SICK of getting rolled over by American Female (ex-)wives.”
“Im not surprised at the number of American men I know who are much more open to marrying foreign women; the American women can boil & seethe at the new crop of mestizos running around.”
Well stated. MANY of us went to college with these beasts, and know what women from other cultures offer.
It is a NO-BRAINER to us.
“Youve got quite a chip on your shoulder there. The anger at American women runs deep, huh?”
Yea, it does, for tens of millions of us. Otherwise today’s women WOULD be able to find husbands.
But you won...so we respond. Sorry.
“I was married earlier than most of my friends (those that bothered to get married), and weve got a little (bilingual) tribe going now (being raised by their parents - not daycare/nannies).”
That’s adorable, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Too bad American women/girls seethe at the picture, and think of it as slavery.
“I had a woman bitch at me about opening the door for her. That date didn’t last long.”
CRAP, that is scary. A date?? I can see a random woman acting like that (American, of course)...but a date, where you’re likely paying the tab.
These women aren’t just ingrates anymore, they are FILLED WITH HATE. Nice job dumping her.
Thanks; the same to you.
“The ones that are not married are perfectly happy to be single.”
I’ll call BS on that. But they can tell you what they want, to keep you out of their hair. But count up the number of therapists they see every week, and you’ll REALLY understand their situation.
“Title IX and allowing women to vote are great examples!”
Don’t go there...even if true.
“You should have done something to help that poor dog.”
No, she wanted to be Mr. Man, and I wasn’t going to hear that I was oppressing her by rendering aid, so I let her deal with the stray herself.
“I have a real man son. He has dated and been dumped on by so many shallow women that he is finished at 30. I still hope that someday he will meet his soulmate. His father and I have been married for 39 years.”
You need to get him overseas, preferably halfway around the world. There are literally BILLIONS of wonderful, appreciative women, many of whom are at least decent in English.
He can STILL have a happy life, he just has to know where to look. So buy him a ticket...
“If todays women are sluts what do you call the guys they have sex with?”
Men. Next question.
“Dont lump all american women in together.”
I know; you’re from a different generation, and probably have generalizations about 25 year-old women that you wouldn’t apply to 45 year-old women. At 40 I’m probably at the tail end of the “marrying types”; I hear a lot of griping from women 5 years younger & more.