Posted on 01/18/2013 2:05:46 PM PST by NYer
Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, while the desire for marriage is rising among young women, according to the Pew Research Center.
Pew recently found that the number of women 18-34 saying that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things rose from 28 percent to 37 percent since 1997. The number of young adult men saying the same thing dropped from 35 percent to 29 percent in the same time.
Pew’s findings have caught the attention of one US writer who maintains that feminism, deeply entrenched in every segment of the culture, has created an environment in which young men find it more beneficial to simply opt out of couple-dom entirely.
Suzanne Venker’s article, “The War on Men,” which appeared on the website of Fox News in late November, has become a lodestone for feminist writers who have attacked her position that the institution of marriage is threatened, not enhanced, by the supposed gains of the feminist movement over the last 50 years.
“Where have all the good (meaning marriageable) men gone?” is a question much talked about lately in the secular media, Venker says, but her answer, backed up by statistics, is not to the liking of mainstream commentators influenced by feminism.
She points out that for the first time in US history, the number of women in the workforce has surpassed the number of men, while more women than men are acquiring university degrees.
“The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women,” Venker wrote. With feminism pushing them out of their traditional role of breadwinner, protector and provider – and divorce laws increasingly creating a dangerously precarious financial prospect for the men cut loose from marriage – men are simply no longer finding any benefit in it.
As a writer and researcher into the trends of marriage and relationships, Venker said, she has “accidentally stumbled upon a subculture” of men who say “in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married.”
“When I ask them why, the answer is always the same: women aren’t women anymore.” Feminism, which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women “angry” and “defensive, though often unknowingly.”
“Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic – women good/men bad – that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry.”
“Men are tired,” Venker wrote. “Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.”
Feminism and the sexual revolution have simply made marriage “obsolete” for women as a social and economic refuge, but this is a situation that should not be celebrated by feminists, Venker says.
“It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.”
A cross section of research data from the Pew Research Center for the last months of 2012 shows the alarming trends for marriage and child-bearing in the US. One report published in mid-December said that the latest census data showed “barely half” of all adults in the United States are currently married, a “record low”. Since 1960, the number of married adults has decreased from 72 percent to 51 today and the number of new marriages in the U.S. declined by five percent between 2009 and 2010.
Moreover, the median age at first marriage continues to rise with women getting married the first time at 26.5 years and men at 28.7. The declines in marriage are “most dramatic” among young adults. Just 20 percent of those aged 18 to 29 are married, compared with 59 percent in 1960.
“If current trends continue, the share of adults who are currently married will drop to below half within a few years,” the report said.
Moreover, the link between marriage and childrearing has become disconnected in the minds of the so-called Millennial generation, those between 18 and 29. While 52 percent of Millennials say being a good parent is “one of the most important things” in life, just 30 per cent say the same about having a successful marriage, an attitudinal survey found.
The gap, of 22 percentage points, between the value Millennials place on parenthood over marriage, was just 7 points in 1997. The research found that Millennials, many of whom are the children of divorce and single-parenthood themselves, are also less likely than their elders to say that a child needs both a father and mother at home, that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.
“Don’t lump all american women in together. I’ve been married 30 years, have 5 kids (with the same man) and have been a stay at home mom the entire time and still am. My husband and I live a very traditional lifestyle.”
...but you are a woman from 30 years ago, before the REAL pollution set in. You are probably not unlike today’s foreign-born women, when it comes to values.
Already did! Too late! LOL!
As women have stood up to become men for the past 100 or so years the men have stood down.
“But no matter how much they screech and fling their feces at us, an incontrovertible fact remains. The rest of the world views American husbands as almost angels. And the rest of the world views American woman as the worst wives.”
That is so true. But no, I haven’t had to deal with the venom that others may deal with. I think most women that we encounter simply wish they somehow could have the same value system instilled in them as my wife has...but they know it’s too late for that.
“And I suspect that your wife, like mine, would be ASHAMED if your marriage broke up - because a strong marriage is a sign of success in her culture, whereas a strong lawyer is a sign of success in ours.”
Well put, and spot on. Neither of our families has divorces (though maybe they should have one or two), and while we come from different ethnic backgrounds our shared faith suffices to keep us on the same page.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with women being sluts and whores as long as women behave in that manner toward their husbands!
Been with the same woman for 15 years; talk to the hand...: )
We’re talking about the reasons young men aren’t marrying not women.
“Well put, and spot on. Neither of our families has divorces (though maybe they should have one or two), and while we come from different ethnic backgrounds our shared faith suffices to keep us on the same page.”
That’s the difference...nothing is perfect. But the kids win out. People from those cultures understand that kids are MUCH, MUCH, BETTER OFF with having two parents that may not get along, but still live in the same home - than having parents that are at legal war with each other.
It really seems that the kids don’t even exist anymore in American society...other than being used for child support.
Count the prescription bottles.
“That’s adorable, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Too bad American women/girls seethe at the picture, and think of it as slavery.”
Thank you. Unfortunately, I think we’ve turned a corner culturally where now the American women would be happy to be “enslaved” in marriage/motherhood (but under current legal and economic conditions); hence the rage. They can’t get courts to force the men to “get right”, and men are content to let the whole thing die (literally).
“Count the prescription bottles.”
Tell me about it. I’ve LITERALLY seen one of them wheeled out on a stretcher, when she figured out that she wasn’t going to find a guy to live her life with. She’s 35 and she doesn’t have a prayer against THE NIGHTMARE that feminism has created...no guy will get near her - even though she’s gorgeous.
Valid point. The courts can clean out a generation or two of men...but they still CANNOT force the next generation of men to want to have anything at all to do with American Women.
There is a always a backlash, and today’s women are seeing that first-hand.
“People from those cultures understand that kids are MUCH, MUCH, BETTER OFF with having two parents that may not get along, but still live in the same home - than having parents that are at legal war with each other.”
Absolutely; having a father in the home is the prime indicator of whether or not someone will be incarcerated. Have you heard these “Total Transformation” commercials on the radio? Apparently they’ve outsourced parenting to a set up tapes/disks; the commercials are pathetic (between a mother and son): “I’m your mother! I won’t have you calling me ugly names! Blah blah blah”. Basically it is tailor-made for a single mother with a (rightfully) angry son; good luck with that!
“It really seems that the kids don’t even exist anymore in American society...other than being used for child support.”
Absolutely, but more importantly, you need at least one child to qualify for a lot of the freebies urban America has availed itself of for generations. I can’t tell you how many younger women I know who have the token bastard just to get into the “dependent” class; it turns out to be the only child they have, and they take full advantage of it (housing subsidies, welfare, food stamps, tuition breaks, you name it).
watch some of her videos... toooo funny!!!
she is a riot! i've seen several... pls have them tell her i love them and keep up it up!!!
“There is a always a backlash, and today’s women are seeing that first-hand.”
Exactly. Tax time always heats it up with the femi-nazis at my job; they realize that their high income taxes (no deductions for children, no mortgage interest/property tax deductions because they don’t need a whole house for just themselves and the cat/dog of their choice) are subsidizing the younger, darker America they see replacing the one in which they grew up.
My sons are all still young, but as they hit that age I’ll make very sure they all know that their future depends a lot on the procreation choices they make (pre-marriage stuff); ideally they’d wait, but realistically they just have to be EXTREMELY careful. I don’t know how my parents did it, but they let us know to be careful without mentioning a single contraceptive or the sexual act. I guess they assumed we’d be good (or smart) and as far as my siblings and I are concerned, they were right; they didn’t mind discussing what other people were doing in general (with disastrous results), and that is probably how they got the point across.
What’s the link?
Please don’t give up on American girls. My sweet girls need someone to marry one day. I am raising them to keep themselves pure and to honor the vows they take on their wedding night. They know I love their daddy and that divorce is not part of our vocabulary. They have also been carefully guarded against American dating culture and Hollywood ‘morals’. Blessings!~
Plan D: Get divorced and live happily after each other
Please don’t give up on American girls. My sweet girls need someone to marry one day. I am raising them to keep themselves pure and to honor the vows they take on their wedding night. They know I love their daddy and that divorce is not part of our vocabulary. They have also been carefully guarded against American dating culture and Hollywood ‘morals’. Blessings!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.